Chapter 18
Lessons from Commanding Leaders

What Can We Learn from Commanding Leaders?

We all can learn some valuable leadership lessons from the Commanding leaders among us who bring so much ambition and intensity to their work. As we discussed in Chapter 2, the Commanding Dimension is located in the northwestern area of the 8 Dimensions of Leadership Model, which means that Commanding leaders tend to be fast-paced and outspoken, as well as questioning and skeptical. This adds up to a person who’s hard-charging and driven. In this chapter, we’ll help you understand why these people so frequently find themselves in leadership positions and what you can borrow from them.

Commanding leaders want to blaze a trail toward their goals, to have their vision realized, and more than anything, to win. They love nothing more than to cross the finish line and see the looks on people’s faces. Ah, the thrill of victory! They often take on the world, shouldering responsibility for anything and everything they can get their hands on. They pour tremendous amounts of energy into their work, and nothing gives Commanding leaders more satisfaction than clearing a path through obstacles, doubt, and resistance.

The benefits to this style of leadership are numerous. Leaders who are high on the Commanding Dimension are quick thinkers who are often comfortable making on-the-fly decisions based on their gut instincts. They tend to be confident, and they don’t like to watch from the sidelines. In fact, being forced to take the backseat, particularly in a crisis, feels like torture to Commanding leaders. They aren’t afraid to push ahead, even in situations in which they fall short on experience or expertise. When faced with a task, they want to execute immediately, and they may create shortcuts to move things along more aggressively. Finally, they tend to see themselves as realists. They pride themselves on having a strong backbone, and they expect this type of fortitude from others.

Strengths of Commanding Leaders

They’re able to set and stick to aggressive timelines.

They tend to be very goal-oriented.

They’re able to speak with conviction.

They’re not afraid to take some risks.

They’re comfortable stepping up to take charge when a group lacks direction.

They’re able to make tough decisions that may not be popular.

They set high expectations for themselves and others.

Commanding leaders have so many gifts to offer, both to their organizations and to the world. Based on extensive research, we’ve developed three essential lessons that we can all learn from Commanding leaders. These three lessons are built around Commanding leaders’ tendencies to be forceful, direct, and driven. If you see yourself as a Commanding leader, these lessons should make you feel good about your current leadership approach. Or, if you strive to develop a more Commanding presence, use these three lessons and suggestions to dial up this dimension.

Three Essential Lessons from Commanding Leaders

Personal authority matters.

Getting caught up in unnecessary restrictions can dilute leadership effectiveness.

Impatience can be a virtue.

In this chapter, we’ll explore these three lessons, point out some obstacles that not-so-Commanding leaders might face, and offer suggestions for how to bring these lessons to life. Not all of the observations here will describe any one leader perfectly, but we think you’ll gain some very useful insights into your fundamental assumptions and thought patterns around being Commanding.

Lesson One: Personal Authority Matters

Commanding leaders often serve as a rock from which others draw confidence and direction. Many leaders who are relatively low on the Commanding Dimension—especially those who are early on in their careers—have tendencies that prevent them from exercising their personal authority. They may simply be uncomfortable with power, so they often downplay their own status, preferring to defer to others they see as more charismatic or authoritative. Subconsciously, these leaders may associate power with somehow doing people harm, so they often want to give away power. In fact, leaders who aren’t comfortable with personal authority sometimes try to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible.

Big Suggestion One: Get Comfortable Making Firm, Public Commitments

When leaders who are low on the Commanding Dimension avoid making public commitments, they are seen as weak, ineffective, or perhaps submissive. Organizations require commitment and consistency from leaders to shape ongoing decisions and actions. Some leaders who rely on consensus and risk mitigation struggle with doubts about being “wrong.” Therefore, it’s natural that these leaders—often those whose styles fall in the eastern and southern areas of the model—may need more practice in exercising their personal authority.

Is It Worth It?

Leaders who tend to filter their messages to accommodate others may not realize how much more efficient it would be just to tell people what they really think. Firmness suggests confidence, and people instinctively trust that a firm leader understands something important. When Commanding leaders speak firmly, people often see them as more discerning and critical, and this may give more credibility to their ideas. Now, you may have an aversion to the idea of being critical, but there is tremendous value in discernment when it comes to leadership (We talk more about this in the Deliberate Dimension). Consider the role of critics. Whether critics review books, movies, or restaurants, their task is the same—to discern the good from the mediocre, to steer people toward that which is worthy of their time and money. A critic who gives every review an A+ or five stars provides little value, and the same can be said for leaders who aren’t willing to state honest, specific opinions.

As we’ve discussed, leaders are responsible for initiating change, and this requires a show of power. For a major initiative to get off the ground, someone needs to stand up and confidently say, “We’re going to do this!” Let’s imagine the alternative. What would happen if a bunch of people thought something was a good idea, but no one stood up and took charge? Absolutely nothing. Or worse: chaos. Leaders who are low on the Commanding Dimension are often tempted to leave taking charge to those who they see as above them, but this severely limits their potential as leaders.

Genevra, a senior product manager at a manufacturing and consumer goods company, told us that she had to grow into her new leadership role, particularly with regard to personal authority. Advice she’d like to give others who are not-so-Commanding by nature includes, “Work on being less shy and more self-confident.” Leadership means helping people see how to get from here to there—there being the vision you have for the future. By learning how to show more personal authority, you’ll be better able to mobilize people to work toward mutual goals.

Potential Obstacles to Getting Comfortable with Power for Not-So-Commanding Leaders

• You may have trouble thinking of yourself as powerful—particularly if it means having power over other people.

• You may have an impulse to give the power to someone else or to share it.

• You may prefer to blend into the crowd.

• You may have a lot of uncertainty about your ability to divine the truth on your own.

• You may hate the idea of making decisions that might misguide others.

• You may think of taking charge as a little harsh because you worry about negatively impacting others.

Taking Action

Consider three ideas when it comes to making firm, public commitments: believe, practice, and monitor. First, learn to believe that you are genuinely powerful and capable of making firm decisions. It will make the job of leading much, much less stressful, and all of the mental energy that you pour into doubt can be used for more productive purposes. Research suggests that people who are simply made to feel powerful are much more likely to act quickly and take action, perhaps because they see the environment as less dangerous (Gollwitzer et al, 1990). Second, practice exercising your personal power by standing firmly behind your decisions. Start in a setting in which you’re relatively comfortable, and go from there. At first, it may feel like throwing yourself out of a plane, not knowing if the parachute is going to work, but if you don’t feel very powerful, it sometimes helps simply to pretend that you are. Finally, start to monitor the voice in your head that tells you not to think of yourself as powerful. If you call attention to these feelings when you recognize them, they will gradually lose their power over you.

Lesson Two: Getting Caught Up In Unnecessary Restrictions Can Dilute Leadership Effectiveness

Commanding leaders have the confidence to act decisively, and leaders who struggle in this area can gain some inspiration from their ability to act. In our research, the number one thing that leaders were asked to do more of was to find new opportunities—something that many leaders whose styles fall on the northern side of the model enjoy. Why is this? Well, if leaders don’t see things in a new light—don’t wonder what could be—their groups aren’t likely to evolve. There are some people in your organization who no doubt have a preference for peace over stimulation, but there are many who want to push toward bigger and better. When leaders put unnecessary restrictions on themselves, it can keep them not only from finding new opportunities, but from actually having the courage to act on them.

Big Suggestion Two: Learn to Act without Permission Let go of—stomp on—some of the assumed limitations that are holding you back. When you find yourself saying that something can’t or shouldn’t be done, catch yourself. Put aside the “can’t” momentarily and ask yourself whether it would be worth it if you could work around the problem. If you put your mind to it, there’s often a way to work around the supposed rules. We’re not talking about breaking laws or bending your ethics; we’re talking about the rules that you impose on yourself to maintain a sense of security. How can you start to see them less as being set in stone and more as temporary roadblocks? Early in her career, a leader named Carol—now president of a large division of an international publisher—realized that her job would be a lot easier if she weren’t running back and forth from her office to the fax machine. At the time, her company had a policy against fax machines in individuals’ offices. Carol had the good sense to realize that this rule was hindering her leadership effectiveness, so she challenged it and took charge. Looking back, she wishes she had learned to take control sooner. Sure, it’s important to respect the hierarchy and your place in it, but we’re asking you to learn to act without permission when the situation calls for it.

Is It Worth It?

Let’s explore the benefits of learning to act without permission. One study on power involved placing participants in a room with an annoying fan pointed at them (Galinsky et al, 2003). The researchers found that when participants were asked to write about a time when they had power over someone, they were more likely to take action with regards to the fan. On the other hand, when participants were asked to write about a time when someone had power over them, they were significantly less likely to move the fan or turn it off. When leaders see themselves as powerful, they allow themselves to shift things as they see fit. They make the rules. They don’t see others as more powerful than they are, nor more entitled to have a say.

What are the benefits of acting without permission? Many times, other people look to leaders to take the first step or to speak up when there’s a problem. When you consistently defer your personal power to other people—and even to circumstances—you send the message that you have little control over your environment. Not only do you send this message to others, but you send it to yourself. If you hope to align people around your vision for the future, it’s important that both you and others see you as someone who has personal power. We’re not talking about being a bully or an egomaniac. We’re talking about giving yourself permission to take action and take charge.

Potential Obstacles to Acting Without Permission for Not-So-Commanding Leaders

• You may not be comfortable wielding the assertiveness, if not aggressiveness, required to take charge.

• It may be difficult for you to overcome inertia in order to act.

• You may have strong instincts to stay on the safe path.

• You may struggle to leave your comfort zone.

• You may hate to “bother” people with your ideas.

• You may prefer to avoid the possibility of upsetting others and their routines.

Taking Action

Consider three ideas when it comes to learning to act without permission: brainstorm, control, and rewrite. First, set aside time to brainstorm what’s possible, and think big. Think about what the group or organization really needs, rather than what others have decided that it needs. You are creating a vision for the future—take the opportunity to imagine what could be. Push aside thoughts of restrictions, rules, and roadblocks, and be decisive! Next, don’t be afraid to be the one to take control of situations in which a group seems to be floundering, either through inactivity, discord, or chaos. Someone needs to step up to guide the group toward a solution, and that someone can be you! Be proactive about bringing people together to solve problems. State what you see happening, and ask people to offer solutions. Finally, if current “rules” are no longer relevant, give yourself permission to rewrite the rules. We’re not talking about laws—we’re talking about the way things are done in your organization. Step back periodically to look at the big picture. If certain rules and restrictions seem to be standing in the way of progress—and other people may bring these to your attention—take an honest look at what’s going on. Don’t be afraid to rewrite the rules.

Lesson Three: Impatience Can Be a Virtue

Commanding leaders are able to push the group to work beyond what’s comfortable to get results. This involves both initiating action and helping the group maintain momentum. Leaders who are lower on the Commanding Dimension have several tendencies that may cause them to fall short on this at times. Some may simply prefer a more steady, comfortable pace. They don’t like to feel rushed—they’d rather take the time to get things done right. If you consider the 8 Dimensions of Leadership Model, this makes a lot of sense. Remember that those styles on the southern side of the model tend to be cautious and reflective, while those on the northern side—such as the Commanding Dimension—are fast-paced and outspoken. Leaders who are more cautious tend to process all of the information before acting, and this can cause them to be less responsive to changing environments. When every adjustment of the rudder requires lengthy deliberation, the organization becomes less nimble and innovative.

Big Suggestion Three: Create Some Urgency

Commanding leaders have a way of creating a sense of urgency—a subtle or not-so-subtle pressure—that keeps the group pushing toward results. As a leader, you need to strike a delicate balance between creating a highly functioning, secure environment and creating this type of pressure to keep moving, sometimes at breathtaking speed. We’re not saying that the pressure has to be negative. There are many ways to create a sense of urgency, and we’ll try to help you find ways to do this that complement your personality. For example, urgency can come in the form of generating excitement about a goal. Leaders can inspire people to want to achieve a goal quickly so they can move onto even more exciting opportunities.

Is It Worth It?

Let’s explore the benefits of creating some urgency. As a leader, you have a responsibility to set the tone for the group. No doubt about it—you probably already do some important things to create a positive atmosphere. Leaders who are lower on the Commanding Dimension are often good at helping everyone feel comfortable, but there’s a danger in letting people get too comfortable. If you don’t show some energy, people tend to plod along at a comfortable pace and focus more on their individual comfort than on the group’s goals. Not only does this delay progress, but it can kill the motivation of people in your group who may actually prefer to work at a faster pace.

As a leader, you can help shape people’s goals and motivations. When leaders show urgency and excitement, people adjust to the expectations. When deadlines are firm and schedules are tight, people rise to the occasion and accomplish more than they even knew they could. Think about it—by pushing people, you can help them become more effective as individuals. And by minimizing inefficiencies and cutting out unnecessary processes, you can help everyone accomplish more together. Creating some urgency can have some very positive effects on your organization’s bottom line and its morale.

Potential Obstacles to Creating Some Urgency for Not-So-Commanding Leaders

• You may prefer to work at a more methodical pace to ensure accuracy.

• You may often have a sense that things will “happen when they happen.”

• Pressuring people may feel incredibly uncomfortable to you.

• You may not see yourself as capable of commanding people’s attention.

• You may get so caught up in thinking about what could go wrong that it’s difficult to sell your plans to others.

Taking Action

Focus on three ideas when it comes to creating some urgency: enlist, show, and hold. Start creating a sense of urgency by making it a collaborative effort. Enlist other people. Ask them to help you set more aggressive schedules. By including them in the process, they’re much more likely to feel invested. Next, show some excitement about the potential outcomes, and help people see how they fit into the big picture of the goals. Explain why the urgency is needed. Because the leader often sets the pace for the group, you’ll need to lead by example. Finally, hold people accountable. Put your expectations into writing, reiterate deadlines, and check in with people to see how they’re progressing. If someone falls short, avoid the temptation to shrug it off. You’ll both learn more if you can engage them in a thoughtful dialogue about what went wrong. We think you can be successful at creating a sense of urgency while being true to your values as a leader. There’s no need to feel uncomfortable about helping a group gain and maintain momentum.

Conclusion

Whatever your primary approach to leadership, it’s valuable to adopt some of the Commanding leader’s driven, forceful, and dominant ways, even if ever so slightly. Specifically, to be more Commanding:

Get comfortable making firm, public commitments,

Learn to act without permission, and

Create some urgency.

Case Study: Learn to Act Without Permission

We talked more with Carol, the president of a division of an international publishing company, about how she learned to avoid getting caught up in unnecessary restrictions. “When I became a general manager—this is actually just a very practical thing that [a colleague] told me—and this will sound really tactical,” she said, “but I’ve interpreted it more broadly. He said, ‘the most important thing a general manager needs is a fax in the office.’” At the time, she was involved in dividing an organization and allocating resources. Between important phone calls, she was running to the fax or the printer to grab confidential documents before anyone else saw them. “A few times,” she said, “other people accidentally picked them up with their big printing jobs.” Based on this experience, Carol saw the value in learning to act without permission. “What I’ve become convinced of is if there’s something I really need to do my job, then it doesn’t matter if there’s the formal policy that you’re not supposed to have printers in your office,” she said, “or don’t worry about spending $200 if it’s going to help me do a better job for the company. I still am very thrifty, but there have been times when I just remember that [experience].” She added that this lesson applies to more than just printers or faxes. It’s more about allowing yourself to act without permission to maximize efficiency, get better results, or jump on a new opportunity.