oh, by the way . . . you have to give up your ambition. Much of our discussion has been about the price we must pay to act on what matters. The price may seem high for what amounts to an adventure we had not planned on, but then we also pay a price for choosing safety. The safe roads of pragmatism and compliance do not come cheaply, although the promise of our culture is a little more optimistic. The culture offers a special deal on safety. It promises that if we have
. . . then these things will bring us safety in the form of membership, economic security, and a good life.
This promise fulfills the longing in each of us to be taken to a high lookout by our father and told, “Someday all this will be yours.” The only stipulation is that you be a good son or daughter.
We are enjoined to live by these beliefs from the moment we enter school, often from the moment of birth. We believe that these guidelines, or ones like them, provide the cohesion that makes modern society work. This, then, is the life held before us, whether we have a real shot at it or not. This is the blueprint for a consumer society. This is the fuel for our ambition.
The wish for that moment with our father or mother or surrogate, when all will be turned over to us, may be the wish to be blessed by God. If this is the case, then seek what you want from God, but not from a second-level supervisor. Or an organization.
122The promise of full membership and its security is what we have to give up for our genuine freedom, our ultimate security, and a life that matters. Growing up and claiming our citizenship is accompanied by the realization that it is our ambition that leads us into the arms of the culture. I am speaking here of our ambition to rise to a position of institutional power, to be recognized by our profession, to be offered the keys to a gated community. This is the ambition we have to question. Why we have to give up our ambition, I do not quite get, though I know it is true. The choice to not seek societal approval, parental pride, and institutional safety is a very difficult and personal matter. It may be possible to be ambitious and not lose control over our own lives while pursuing the ideals of another, but I have rarely seen it work. Even if attainable, lifestyle and ease are too small gods to worship. As is seeking the answers to How?
Here are some ways that our ambition and willingness to live up to the standards of the culture tend to imprison us:
It is important to recognize that giving up ambition does not mean we are giving up desire, just the opposite. Ambition, again, means seeking recognition from our institutions, their leaders, and our profession. We trade ambition for choices about what matters, about how we choose to operate, and about what we choose to create. What is affirmed is our determination to do good work, with or without approval. When we choose this idealism, we negate the mindset that it is human nature to pursue self-interest, that people do mostly what they are rewarded for, and that if something does not get measured, it does not get done.
Giving up our ambition doesn’t mean we have to change jobs or go anywhere. We just have to get the point. We postpone the How? questions. We say Yes and get on with it.
124Giving up our ambition is not easy. Acting on our values and achieving recognition from the world are both real and universal longings, and both matter. The problem is we must begin with caring about the world, which means acting on our values. The idea is first to embrace the task of reconstituting the world and then hope you get some support for it. It is the reconstruction, or transformation, of the culture by our living example, our words, and our commitments that is our fundamental work. Each of us does it in our own way, and together it becomes a unifying expression of our care, even our love for it all. This is an act of intimacy and the experience of our own depth.
And if you are the boss, stop using your approval with its tacit possibility of advancement as a carrot. As motivators, carrots should be reclassified as a banned substance. Their use is based on research done on naïve pigeons and Pavlov’s dog. As we have already seen, the whole idea that bosses should motivate their people ties us all in knots. Instead, bring your employees together and stimulate the right conversation. This is an important role for any boss—to support the communal pursuit of what matters. Let this be motivation enough. Why not operate to support those who experience their freedom and care about the whole? It would be a welcome relief from the despair-ridden discussions about what to do with the dead wood and how to deal with employees crying out to be rescued.
To explore the meaning of ambition as either a boss or a subordinate, ask yourself the questions “If I got what I want, what would it give me?” and, “Is it something that I really want?” and, finally, “Would I take it right now?” I heard these questions from consultant and author Charlotte Roberts, and they took me to an interesting place. Answering them over and over again, each time beginning where the last answer left off, got me closer to what I really want, which for most of us would be to live and experience our deepest values.
125A special note to those who have been dealing with questions like these for a while: Just when you think you have faced your ambitions and reclaimed your true purpose, started valuing relationships, and caring for the whole again, just when you begin to experience some freedom and have gotten into the practice of saying Yes, ambition has a way of sneaking in the back door. For now, as my daughter Jennifer says, we are on the spiritual fast track. We seek proof, recognition, and approval for how together we have become, for how participative we are as managers, for how values-driven we are now, how we are transforming our organization’s culture to become agile, quick, employee-focused, customer-based, and shareholder-friendly. Be all these things, but stop claiming credit for them. The credit-claiming and pronouncements are the way marketing and cosmetic refinements replace genuine change.
It’s the same for individuals as it is for institutions: The more we focus on what counts to us, the more complicated we realize it is. There is no hurry, no place to go, no destination we will reach in our lifetime. We are there the moment we begin. And each time we strive to be recognized and rewarded we are reminded of the work we have left to do.
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