6

Questioning

If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than 5 minutes.

Einstein

Questioning, along with listening, are critical skills for coaching. As a coach you need to inquire and probe to allow the coachee to discover more, become more aware, and work out answers for themselves.

Asking good questions isn’t easy. We find that people tend to tell and give advice rather than think of the right question to ask. The humanist psychologist Carl Rogers tells us that our inability to communicate is a result of our failure to listen and respond effectively. So it is very important for a coach to set aside his or her natural tendency to give advice and to focus on inquiry by asking good questions and actively listening to the answers.

So what is a good question? A good question is one that does not make assumptions or judgements, either in the way it is framed or in the tone in which it is asked.

Many questions are not actually questions but are just displaced statements, or worse still, accusations. We often make judgements and assumptions about what the other person is saying and this stops us from truly listening. We need to suspend these judgements and assumptions. So, a good question is one that:

• Encourages reflection and makes the coachee truly reflect on the situation. It obliges the coachee to look at an issue from different perspectives. Good reflective questions encourage the coachee to think more deeply and broadly about their issue or situation. (See Chapter 10 for more on reflective skills.)
  
• Encourages the coachee to focus on what they can do and develop solutions rather than focusing on blame, excuses or constantly going over old ground.
  
• Allows enough time for the coachee to answer questions. It is very important that once you have asked a question, you remain silent and allow the coachee to reflect then answer. We often see managers asking coaching questions, then another then another. Or sometimes even answering their own questions! It’s as if they are afraid of being quiet for a moment, but if they don’t remain silent then there is no opportunity for the coachee to think and answer. So ask a question and leave space – in other words, shut up! This can be very hard for extraverted coaches especially if they are coaching introverted people who might take a long time to reflect before they answer.
  
• Does not betray or give away your own perspective or answer to the issue. It is very easy when asking a question to allow your own perspective to creep into the structure of your question and lead the coachee. Coaching is all about encouraging the coachee to develop the solution for themselves.
  
• Challenges people to question their own assumptions. Sometimes we presume things that aren’t really true – a coach’s job is to listen for, question and challenge any assumptions.
  
• Allows a person to express both emotions and facts. Typically managers are good at asking questions about facts. They want to know the facts, probably so that they can solve the problem. But the coach’s job is not to solve the problem, but to make the coachee more aware and come up with options and possibilities, and not the answer. As a coach you probably need to ask more questions about emotions and feelings. People are often concerned that it’s not appropriate to ask about feelings, but emotions more than facts determine what someone might actually do. So ask the coachee how they feel. Ask them how the other people involved feel? How did you react? How did they react?
  

Types of questions

The following table highlights some of the most useful question types with some examples and suggestions for when you might use them. We also highlight some less useful types of questions that should be avoided when coaching or mentoring others.

Here are some examples of good coaching questions:

• What have you already tried?
  
• Imagine this problem has already been solved. What would you see, hear, feel?
  
• What’s standing in the way of an ideal outcome?
  
• What’s your own responsibility for what’s been happening?
  
• What early signs are there that things might be getting better?
  
• Imagine you are at your most resourceful. What do you say to yourself about this issue?
  
• What are the options for action here? So, what’s the next/first step?
  
• How does that feel?
  
• Say more …?
  
• Can I check that I have really understood the points that you are making here? What you feel/think is …
  
• So, to summarize so far …
  
• What have you tried so far?
  
• What happened?
  
• Tell me more …
  
• So …? (if you use this to prompt it must be used in conjunction with an enquiring voice and facial expression to match)
  
• Can you give me an example?
  
• Anything else?
  
• What else? And keep repeating, What else?
  

Don’t start a coaching conversation by asking, ‘What’s the problem?’ This is a very common mistake especially if the coachee hasn’t actually mentioned the word problem. It will make the coachee defensive, and could make them ask ‘Do you see it as a problem?’ It is much better to ask, ‘What’s on your mind?’ or ‘What’s the issue?’ These are far less loaded.

Good-quality inquiry is the essence of coaching. Developing your skill in this area is vital. As a manager or leader you can work on this in many of your day-to-day interactions, not just when you are coaching. Get into the habit of asking questions and inquiring before advocating or telling. Quite apart from helping in developing as a coach this practice will also contribute to your leadership ability.

Tips for success

• Questioning and inquiring allows your coachee to discover more for themselves.
  
• Allow time for your coachee to respond to any questions: a good question encourages reflection and will require thought before response.
  
• Ask more then you tell or advocate.
  
• When coaching, use mainly open questions.
  
• Develop your skill by practising questioning in everyday interactions.