“Despite our habit of seeing ourselves as separate, solid ‘things,’ our minds, our beings are not fixed. We exist in a web of relationships.”

Joseph Jaworski, Author and Founder of The American Leadership Forum

“Make me one with everything…”

The punchline to the old joke about the Buddhist and the hotdog vendor casts a light on one of life's most persistent illusions. It certainly looks like we're separate from each other, and from the natural world. But, strange as it may seem, there's a way in which separation is an illusion. In reality, the fact that everything is made of energy means, in a very empirical sense, that we are all connected; with one another and with the rest of the universe.

We don't need anyone or anything to “make us” one with everything. We already are one with everything; we always have been and we always will be. However…

As we get caught up in contaminated thinking, we experience the illusion of separation from other people, and from life. The more contaminated thinking we're in, the more separate we feel.

And what does this have to do with connection and relationships?

The true source of loneliness, isolation and most conflict is the mistaken belief that we're feeling something other than the principle of THOUGHT taking form in the moment; that we're at the mercy of a world “out there” with power over how we feel.

The experience of connection is incredibly valuable. In addition to the fact that it's natural and feels good, connection opens up a conduit for effective communication. When another person feels connected to you, they're much more likely to see where you're coming from, hear what you have to say and be impacted by what you're sharing with them.

Connection, intimacy and love are what's already there for us when there's nothing else in the way…

So what gets in the way? Habitual patterns of contaminated thinking. But as your understanding of the principles behind clarity increases, contaminated thinking falls away and you start experiencing greater connection in all your relationships…

Listening to be impacted

A few years ago, I was at a meeting where one of the participants asked for help with an issue he'd been struggling with. He gave a brief outline of the problem (he'd been having trouble finding the right direction for his business) then the other participants started jumping in with solutions. I just listened. When the first round of solution-giving was over, I asked if it would be OK to do some exploring. He and the other participants agreed, so I asked him questions, then listened as deeply as I could to his answers. A feeling of connection started to develop, and he became reflective. All of a sudden, his face lit up. “I need to have more passion and adventure in what I'm doing”, he said. Over the weeks and months that followed, he started making the necessary changes to move in a new direction.

When you listen deeply, and allow a connection to emerge, the resulting conversations can be profound, creative and extremely useful.

Two worlds in one

Imagine you're watching a film at the cinema. As you look at the characters on the screen, you experience them as separate people – figures moving against a background. Our ability to experience them as distinct from each other (and from the background) is what allows us to transform the patterns of light on the screen into individual characters. This in turn allows us to experience the drama of the film as it unfolds.

But the seemingly separate figures on the screen are actually part of an unbroken continuum of light and shadow. The distinctions between the characters, and between figure and ground, are mind-made illusions, generated from within us. The same goes for all the feelings we experience as we watch the movie.

The film is neutral; 100% of our experience of (and response to) the film arises from within us.

Now, let's go one step further. The flow of images on the screen is only there because light is shining from a projector at the back of the cinema. The patterns of light on the screen have no existence independent of the projector and the reel of film it's playing. Form and formless are one, a unified whole. Switch off the light and the movie disappears from the screen.

The tangible illusion of the film on the screen has no existence separate from the (relatively) intangible reality of the light shining from the projector.

It's the same with us. Our experience of the world of form (including each other) is a tangible illusion; tangible, but not real. The principles behind clarity represent a deeper reality; intangible, but real, giving rise to the tangible illusion of the material world.

Just as the images on the screen have no existence independent of the light from the projector…

And just as a wave has no existence separate from the ocean…

The material world of form in all its glory has no existence separate from the formless energy behind life…

Form and formless are one, a unified whole…

When you're asleep and dreaming, your experience of the characters, environments and situations is created from within your consciousness. It's the same when you're awake. Remember: 100% of your experience of the world “outside” of you is actually taking place inside of you, generated from deep within your consciousness (albeit with a live data feed via your senses). The principles behind clarity give rise to our experience of reality. Our personal thoughts, perceptions and self-images are like waves; we can notice them, obsess about them, even take ownership of them. But they have no existence separate from the whole. They don't “belong” to us any more than a droplet of water “belongs” to a given whirlpool or wave.

As our clarity of understanding increases, something amazing begins to happen. Life starts looking less complex, and we begin to see a simplicity behind many of the challenges people face. In fact, in a world that appears beset by a dizzying array of complex issues and seemingly impossible problems, there's a realization that can offer genuine hope and practical solutions…