“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

Joseph Campbell, Mythologist, writer and lecturer

“Now let me ask you something I think we all know the answer to: the test is rigged, isn't it? You programmed it to be unwinnable…”

In a pivotal scene from the 2009 film, Star Trek, a young James T Kirk (played by Chris Pine) is defending himself against the charge of cheating on the Kobayashi Maru test (a highly realistic battle simulation designed to gauge the trainee's response to a no-win scenario). Kirk is the first person ever to beat the test, but Spock (the test's designer) has accused him of breaking the rules. Kirk's defence is that the test itself is a cheat; that if a game has been designed to be unwinnable, you don't have to play by the rules of the game.

So how is this relevant?

Here's how: the outside-in misunderstanding turns life into an unwinnable game. The “I'll be happy when…” and “I couldn't be happy if…” superstitions promise us that happiness, security and well-being are waiting for us “out there” in the distance or in the future. Whether it's five years, five miles or five seconds away, the outside-in misunderstanding tells us that our heart's desire is just out of reach, just out there at the end of our thinking. But it's not true and it never has been. That's not how it works.

When we look to the outside world for our happiness, security and peace of mind, we're looking in the wrong direction. It doesn't matter whether it's the “there” of material possessions or personal accomplishments, self-improvement or spirituality. The moment we think there's somewhere to get to, and that “there” is better than “here,” we've stepped out of our sanity and into an unwinnable game.

So what does it mean to step out of the unwinnable game, and back into our sanity? What does it mean to live a life you love, regardless of its ups and downs?

The moment we stop looking outside ourselves for that which can only be found within, our whole world changes. As your worldview continues shifting from outside-in to inside-out, it's inevitable that you'll love yourself and your life more and more, whatever form it takes.

A practical example

Two people doing the same kind of work are both applying for the same position. Both are equally well-qualified for the new post. The only difference between the two is that one has an embodied understanding of the principles behind clarity and the other doesn't. When they go to the job interview, the contrast is huge. One is clear-headed, relaxed and alert, while the other is feeling anxious and insecure. One listens deeply to the interviewer, and starts feeling connected to them, while the other feels self-conscious and isolated. One is in touch with their wisdom and creativity, while the other has a congested, speedy mind. Who do you think is more likely to get the job? The person who feels peaceful, present and secure in themselves? Or the one who's feeling anxious, insecure and needy?

Life seems to respond in a similar way. When you are living from clarity, being guided by wisdom, life is free to unfold gracefully with each step you take. There will still be ups and downs; that's part of being human. But we've evolved to appreciate life. Our psychological immune system exists to guide us into a natural, enjoyable experience of life. Our natural response to life is gratitude and appreciation, when there's nothing else in the way. And what gets in the way? Contaminated thinking!

What follows is a list of gentle reminders to help you stay on track, living a life you love. They are not rules or “how tos,” but they may serve to spark an insight or an a-ha that makes a difference for you at one time or another.

More importantly, they are not something you need to do, practice, or even remember. Everything you need is already right there within you; there's nothing you need to do to have a life you love.

Appreciation

When you find yourself in a more profound felt experience of life, appreciate it. This isn't a doing – it's more of a not-doing. Our deeper feelings of love, peace and well-being carry valuable information that can correct our thought-system, bringing it into closer connection with reality. So when you notice these feelings arising, allow yourself to stay with them.

Gratitude

Gratitude is like fertilizer for new insights. When you're feeling grateful for what you've already seen, you create fertile soil for new insights to blossom. Conversely, searching and seeking (with the sense of lack they imply) is like soaking the ground in weedkiller. Gratitude and appreciation are natural responses to insight, and to being alive, so you can enjoy them when they come.

Don't try to figure it out

Like the sun behind the clouds, your clarity, security and peace of mind are always within you, whether you're aware of it or not. But you can't think your way to clarity and well-being, so there's no point in trying to figure it out. That just creates more thinking, which is the only thing that's ever blocking your awareness of clarity in the first place. Instead, you can relax, and recognize that everything you're experiencing is a demonstration of the principles behind clarity in action.

Understanding is a rational goal

Everyone likes to feel good, but when we make that our goal, we use all our old habits of thinking to achieve it (with predictable results). When your goal is increasing your clarity of understanding, then every experience is an opportunity to learn; to see how the principles behind clarity are creating an experience of life in this moment.

Pause when agitated

When you're feeling anxious, insecure and agitated, your thinking looks absolutely real. But we're always feeling our thinking in the moment, and an agitated feeling means agitated thinking; nothing more, nothing less. While I don't recommend you do anything about it – let it change when it changes – your wisdom will remind you that you're in the feeling of the principle of THOUGHT taking form in the moment. That's the signal that the system is self-correcting. When that wise thought occurs to you, pay attention, and it will guide you back to clarity.

Look to the source

In any situation, we're either aligned with the outside-in misunderstanding (looking towards the products of MIND, THOUGHT and CONSCIOUSNESS), or with the inside-out reality (looking towards the principles of MIND, THOUGHT and CONSCIOUSNESS). When we're lost in contaminated thinking, it can seem like the only way of perceiving a situation. But, in any moment, you can look away from the results of your thinking, and towards its source, the principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought. Once again, this isn't a do-ing, but rather something that happens when you step out of the unwinnable game, and keep waking up to your wisdom.

You don't need to be vigilant

So many people (myself included) have learned to be vigilant with their thinking, trying to monitor and manage their experience. This results in a bunch more thinking, which can block them from the experience of clarity, which is the very thing they were trying to get in the first place. You don't need to do this anymore. When you have an insight, it updates your thought-system. You don't need to work on it.

Be kind to yourself

If being hard on yourself was going to work, it would have worked by now. I encourage you to be kind, gentle and loving with yourself. We all have flaws, frailties and weaknesses; you can love yourself as you are, warts and all. Paradoxically, when we love and accept ourselves as we are, things that used to be utterly resistant to change can suddenly shift effortlessly. Or not. Be kind to yourself, either way. Once again, this isn't really something to do; it's more something to be aware of and open to. As your contaminated thinking continues clearing out, you may start noticing just how much you already love yourself, but just hadn't fully realized it until now. (If that sentence makes you feel uncomfortable, do remember that you're feeling your thinking.)

Lighten up

Oscar Wilde famously said “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” The feeling of seriousness is just a signal that we have serious thinking, but if we don't know that, it can be a grind. While there are situations that require a serious response, there's no need to feel serious about it. Love, peace and clarity often carry the information you need to solve the more challenging issues in life, and those deeper feelings are incompatible with the feeling of seriousness (though it's still fine to behave seriously when necessary).

Follow your wisdom

Your wisdom will guide you from wherever you are now to your most fulfilling, inspiring life. Wisdom doesn't make us immune to the ups and downs of life, but it helps us to live life in a way that fits perfectly with who we are. As you learn to navigate by wisdom, and deepen your understanding of the principles behind clarity, you'll find yourself living a life you love, more and more each day.

The power of principles revisited

Earlier in the book, I used the metaphor of a football being held underwater to symbolize a person's innate clarity, resilience and well-being. As soon as the hand holding the football releases it, the ball rises to the surface.

The reason the ball rises so reliably is because of buoyancy. There are precise factors that govern the rate at which an immersed object will rise, including weight, density and friction. But these factors are all governed by a single principle; the principle of gravity.

Buoyancy works the same way for everyone because gravity doesn't play favourites. It's nothing personal, and there are no exceptions…

In the same way, the principles that give rise to our innate clarity, security and wellbeing work the same way for everyone. It's nothing personal, and there are no exceptions…

So, if this is genuinely a “new paradigm”, what does that mean for the world of business and work in the years to come? And what does it mean for us as individuals?