Stage Two Conflict

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Conflict at the Stage Two level becomes characterized by a win/lose attitude. The wins and losses seem greater because the people involved are emotionally tied to the problem. At this level of conflict, people keep track of their verbal victories, witnesses take sides, and sides begin to keep track of their wins and losses.

Tips to help diffuse conflict at the Stage Two level include:

1.  Interview for accuracy. Interview all parties individually so the issues are clear prior to confronting the conflict collectively. When you accurately know all the issues and perceptions, you will be in a better position to resolve or mediate the conflict.

2.  Create a neutral atmosphere. Create a safe, neutral atmosphere in which to discuss the conflict. Seat participants in a circle, not across from one another. Seating participants close to one another, without the security of a table or desk between them, helps set the right tone for conflict resolution.

3.  Create an agenda. Have an agenda and be responsible for keeping participants focused on its contents.

4.  Keep the group focused in the aim frame. Groups focused in the aim frame ask two questions: “Where do want to be?” and “How do we get there?” Focusing the group on these questions will reduce finger pointing and blaming.

5.  Focus on the facts. Take whatever time it takes to make sure that you have all the details. Make sure that you clarify any generalizations. Ask participants to clarify who they is and how many times always means.

6.  Encourage teamwork. Each participant is equally responsible for finding an acceptable alternative to resolve the conflict.

7.  Focus on points of agreement and look for middle ground. At this point, do not suggest compromise. Typically, people involved in Stage Two conflict are emotional. To them, a compromise may mean giving up and may feel like a loss. Keep exploring alternatives until both parties can agree on an acceptable solution.

8.  Recognize that helping people resolve conflict takes time. Allow enough time for each party to express all their concerns regarding the conflict. Take what time is needed to find a solution to the conflict that is agreeable to all parties. Rushing or forcing a resolution may create a quick fix, but not a lasting solution to the conflict.

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