Woody Allen's iconic line that "Ninety percent of success is showing up" is more than just a laugh.

It's a useful lesson that any business professional would be well advised to learn.

What does it mean, exactly?

It means that if you're not on the phone; if you're not on the list; if you're not at the party; if you're not knocking on doors; if you're not sending out flyers; if you're not pasted on the walls, making appointments, calling prospects, building your web site, social networking, and spreading the word—well, then you don't really exist at all in your field of business. "Visibility is nine-tenths of ability," a slogan-minded CEO I know likes to say.

Showing up?

It means running down every lead.

It means going to every interview, meeting, conference, trade show, and cattle call.

It means talking to everyone in your profession who counts and a few who don't.

It means penciling in reminders on your bulletin board to follow up on e-mails, letters, and calls, and then making sure you do it.

It means making phone call after call, even when prospects keep saying no.

Are you having trouble getting people to return your e-mails or letters? What restaurants do they like to eat at? Where do they get their hair done? Where do they buy their shoes or their flowers? Where do they play golf? Then just happen to show up when they're there.

A friend of mine with the amazing name Jesse James tried for months to track me down with a business proposition. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't penetrate the iron wall my staff keeps around me.

Eventually, we happened to be in the men's room of a restaurant together. Coincidence? I don't think so. Anyway, as we were standing there side by side at the urinal Jesse struck up a conversation. In a few short minutes between the pee and the bathroom door he peppered me with so many great ideas that we ended up working together on several projects. That's how it works. They once asked Civil War General Nathan Bedford Forrest how he was able to win so many skirmishes against the greater Yankee army. "Get there firstest with the mostest" was Forrest's famous advice.

That's showing up.

Remember I told you about the car accident I had a few weeks before I was scheduled to shoot my Gazelle infomercial? How when the manufacturer told me my face was too damaged to do the show, I hopped on a plane and visited the CEO personally?

If I hadn't flown out personally and plunked my butt down there in front of the CEO, I'd never have gotten the chance to shoot the infomercial. The same when I attended that video convention in Las Vegas without knowing a soul or a thing about video production. The important fact was I was there, showing up. People saw me. They talked to me. Most of all, they remembered me. I returned home from that trip with several signed contracts in my pocket. If I hadn't mingled in that huge Las Vegas convention hall with all those heavy-duty video players, I would have gone hungry.

So show up. Be on the scene. Rock and roll. Why do so many people ignore this effective ploy? Are they too lazy? Shy? Busy? Is it too expensive? Too risky? You can make excuses till the snows come down. The fact is, if you don't show up, someone else will show up in your place. Law of the jungle, man.

In his popular book Guerrilla Marketing (Houghton Mifflin, 2007), Jay Conrad Levinson presents readers with a list written in 1885 by one Thomas Smith of London, England. Levinson doesn't say who Smith was, but I'm going to assume he was one savvy business head.

On this list Smith focuses on an advertisement. A single advertisement. But an advertisement that shows up and never goes away. An advertisement that you see and ignore time after time after time until it starts to work its magic on your mind. Here's how:

Always keep in plain sight and, if necessary, in their faces. If you're not there, you'll never bag the hare.

All salespeople should have a bit of the actor in them, and a bit of the entertainer. Maybe even a bit of the ham, like me.

Why? Because selling is acting.

I mean, you believe in your product, right? And you sincerely want to help your customers.

That goes without saying. At the same time, the things you say to sell your product may sound spontaneous. But if you're a serious salesperson, you've probably spent hours rehearsing your presentation, and maybe you've even practiced it in front of a mirror. Like an actor. Which is cool. Because you need all the body poise and voice skills you can get to clinch the deal.

When I sell on TV, the stuff I do looks unplanned, and in a way it is. But it's also the result of years of practice, and of trial and error. Belief in yourself makes acting easy. It's the same with selling.

Here's a list of acting-selling techniques I've found to be effective:

In the classic film Singing in the Rain, dancer-comedian Donald O'Connor performs a song-and-dance number that's still famous today. In it O'Connor does flips, spins, splits, and pratfalls. He gets hit on the head with a two-by-four. He puts on funny hats, plays the piano with his feet, makes love to a headless dummy, and walks into several walls, all the time selling it, selling it, selling it with his theme song, "Make 'Em Laugh!" It's one of the greatest comic routines ever, and what's especially revealing is the way O'Connor always stays on message, using all his gestures, expressions, movements, and energy to sell his humor. Take a look at it on YouTube if you have the time.

We all like to laugh, right? It makes us feel good. In the office, over lunch. Sometimes even while we're negotiating. It's one of the best ways I know to relieve tension and to get past customer resistance. Rely on hard facts and sensible reasons alone in your sales story, and a customer's conscious mind will find reasons to say no. It's a knee-jerk reaction in an age when every product for sale sounds great but few are.

Instead of burying them with facts, instead disarm them with a joke, a witty remark, a gentle wisecrack, a wry observation, a sight gag, even a well-timed funny face or crazy voice.

When I'm playing live on my infomercials, I intentionally create a collusion of humor between myself and the audience. During the show I'll clown around with the female presenters, occasionally hinting at something risqué. It never is, really. I know this and the audience knows it. We share a joke together. Everybody laughs and enjoys themselves. This positive energy comes through onscreen. I love having fun. Fun sells!

"The great thing about the way I joke around with my customers," says my friend Tony Reynolds, one of the most successful men's clothing salesmen in Beverly Hills, "is that the humor I use with them makes them feel funny, too. Humor is contagious and creates a very positive attitude in people. It softens them up and sets the stage for the selling to begin. Most people would rather see a comedy than a tragedy. Laughing makes us feel good."

Here are a few key things I've learned about humor and selling:

Have fun when you work and when you sell. Be unplanned, and if it's the right time, get goofy. When you're having fun, you're acting the way customers unconsciously want to feel inside: energized, joyous, alive. Pretty soon they're having fun along with you. Spontaneity, laughter, and good times sell product a whole lot faster than reciting pre-learned lines.

A friend of mine who today is a highly successful executive at Nike started out her career as a humble telemarketer. A good part of the reason for her success was the zany and creative way she approached customers on the phone.

You know what most telemarketers sound like. Robots, right? They read scripts at you, and respond to your objections with prewritten answers. This technique works okay. It plays the averages: maybe one out of a thousand will stay on the line and shell out the money.

My friend, however, approached the phone challenge from a very different angle. She would, for instance, cold call a customer, and the first thing out of her mouth would be something like this:

"I know, I know, I'm bothering you. It's seven o'clock at night and you're probably about to eat dinner or something. Right? It's a drag. Who wants to talk to some dork they don't even know when they could be relaxing or spending time with their family? I sure wouldn't. But listen, just give me a minute, huh, 'cause honest to God, I really do have a great new product I want to tell you about, and I'll be really quick. Thirty seconds is all. I promise. Pleeeeeeeeease!"

Numbers of people were disarmed by this madcap sales appeal and couldn't bring themselves to hang up. My friend's humor was irresistible. So was her honesty. It was something fresh and genuine, unlike the wind-up appeals we hear every day from phone solicitors. And I don't have to tell you, my friend sold 20 times more product than anyone else in her office.

If you're going to do it, have fun at it. Why not?

Last time I was in New York City I noticed a road sign on the West Side Highway.

FINES DOUBLED IN WORK AREA.

       OBEY SPEED LIMITS.

             IT'S THE LAW!

Fair enough. Harsh, but to the point.

A few months later I was visiting Montreal, and happened to notice a sign that conveyed a similar message. But in quite a different way:

THINK OF ROADWORKERS.

     SLOW DOWN, PLEASE.

Which sign would you resonate with most? Which one would you be most likely to obey?

Be courteous. Be kind. Be considerate. Be fair. Be nice. Practice the old-fashioned virtues on the road, in the office, at home. Do it with colleagues and clients and subordinates and friends—everyone. Do it with the waitress at a business lunch, and with the guy who empties wastebaskets on your floor, and with your kids. Do it with your boss and your coworkers. Be nice to everyone.

Besides being the right thing to do, old-time virtues work. They create an environment where we can all agree and cooperate. It's the Golden Rule. Why can't we remember? I act toward you the way I want you to act toward me. When we both behave this way, we're in the groove. We're warm and happy. Productivity and morale automatically improve.

In his book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie tells us that Andrew Carnegie, the turn-of-the-century steel baron, paid his second in command, Charles Schwab, a salary of a million dollars a year. That's in pre-income-tax dollars. More than a hundred years ago.

Why did the steel mogul shell out so much money for a single employee?

One day Dale Carnegie personally asked Charles Schwab just this question. Here is Schwab's answer in his own words—words, Carnegie insists, that should be cast in bronze and hung on the walls of every home, store, and school.

When I'm dealing with people at work, both the highest placed and the lowest, I try to follow Schwab's model. I go out of my way to say "please." I make a point of saying a genuine "thank you" no matter how small the favor. "Thank you" is the most powerful phrase in today's society.

When I call someone on the phone, I ask whether it's a good time to talk. If not, I thank them and call back later. When I say good-bye I'm cordial no matter what negative turns our conversation may have taken. People remember good-byes, especially if they're sincere.

I try not to talk too loudly on my cell phone when others are around. If I receive a call at a business lunch or dinner, I ignore it or get up from the table to talk. I don't use my BlackBerry in meetings. It's rude.

When I'm dealing with new contacts or clients, I do my homework on them. I find out in advance where they're from, what they like to eat and drink, what restaurants they prefer, how and where they like to conduct business. Sometimes a Google search is all that's needed. In a business meeting I look for mutual interests to share. I ask sincere questions. I inquire about the client's family, sports interests, hobbies, and business life. I try to care. Because we need to care.

A genuine concern for another person's feelings is a rare thing in today's marketplace. The American cult of rudeness has largely shouldered it out of the picture. But believe me, at heart people are hungry to be treated with kindness and concern, and they all notice it when you do. Some even respond in kind.

We have to start somewhere, don't we? With "random acts of kindness." Here's a saying I keep tacked to my bulletin board: "Be nice to people going up. You'll meet them coming down."

Sometime in the early 1970s a new science went pop.

With the publication of Julius Fast's book Body Language (M. Evans, 1970), people began to realize that their opinions of others—and others' opinions of them—were based less on words, and more on the nonverbal cues that are broadcast by a smile, a frown, crossed arms, blinking eyes, a leaning forward, a stepping back.

Up until this time people sensed this hidden language, but mostly on a visceral and unconscious level. Now it had been "discovered" by psychologists, and was out there revolutionizing the way business was done.

I was just a kid when the body language thing got popular. Being a physical type, I remember being impressed by the fact that in the real world people pass information on to one another more by the way they use their bodies than by what they say. In sales and entertainment, once you start looking for it, you see people sending unspoken signals to each other all the time. Knowing how to read these signals can make or break a relationship, a presentation, or a deal.

For instance, when Tony Robbins talks to audiences in his videos he uses a neat trick. Suddenly he'll snap his fingers. The sound and movement of this gesture jolts viewers out of their trances, and forces them to pay attention.

In the latest Batman movie, the late Heath Ledger playing the Joker made superb use of body language with a simple, horrifying trick. Whenever the camera was on him he'd move his tongue in bizarre and repulsive ways. He'd dart it out, run it along his lips, move it to the right and to left. It was hypnotic. You couldn't stop looking at it.

In your own career there are thousands of ways you can use your body as a selling tool to get people's attention, and to reinforce whatever message you want them to hear.

Start with steady, friendly eye contact. This, common wisdom says, is what honest people do. Dishonest people, common wisdom also says, are shifty eyed or look down when they speak. Even if this notion isn't always true, it's the way people perceive these expressions and that's what counts. When I'm doing a show, I try to look directly into the camera as much as possible. Even over TV, steady eye contact creates confidence and builds trust. One study showed that audiences rated lecturers who looked straight at them as "sincere," and speakers who looked into the distance as "insincere." Failing to make eye contact is taken to mean you're not paying attention, or worse, that you're playing head games. People notice these behaviors and react.

When appropriate, I also try to make direct physical contact with my clients whenever I can with a touch on the arm or a pat on the shoulder. If the timing is right and the moment fitting, touch can communicate positive feelings far more directly than words.

Customers respond best to salespersons who sit or stand in a relaxed, open way with nothing crossed and few signs of inner tension. Studies show that people in business meetings tend to mimic one another's states of tension and relaxation. When Jill tightens up, Jack unconsciously does the same. When Jill relaxes and takes a deep breath, Jack follows. You know how contagious yawning is? It's the same with the rhythms of tension and ease. Watch people you're dealing with and you'll see.

Smile whenever possible—but sincerely.

Some years ago research psychologist James V. McConnell at the University of Michigan studied the human smile response. McConnell found that people who smile tend to do better at work, are more effective parents, and enjoy life more. He turned up the interesting fact that physicians who look glum at the office are sued for malpractice twice as often as doctors who maintain a cheery appearance. McConnell cited a study revealing that 80 percent of parents of juvenile delinquents were habitual nonsmilers.

Psychologist Robert Zajonc is also known for his studies on smiling. Zajonc recently discovered that smiling actually cools the blood in a person's face, and that it releases serotonin, the neurotransmitter responsible for well-being. Old trick: Whenever I'm about to go into a meeting I smile for 20 or 30 seconds before I enter the room. This simple act instantly puts me in a positive frame of mind. When I walk into the meeting the traces of the smile are still on my face.

When talking or listening to others, avoid rapid blinking. I do it sometimes and have to catch myself. Rapid blinking can mean you're nervous or dishonest. One study showed that when President Richard Nixon told a lie at a press conference, he blinked 30 percent faster than when he was telling the truth. But don't jump to conclusions. I've noticed that when a client blinks rapidly it can also mean he or she is considering my ideas. When this happens I let them blink away and just wait.

Nod your head yes to reinforce what you're telling clients or customers. It's hard to think "no" when someone's nodding at you affirmatively. If you nod and the person nods with you, you've practically made the sale. If others lean toward you when you speak, you have their sympathetic attention. If they lean back though, they may be symbolically trying to get away from you or, more likely, from what you're saying. Be attentive to raised eyebrows, hunched-up shoulders, a wrinkled brow, averted eyes, a bored stare, or a puzzled facial expression. The sender may be saying "Convince me more," or even "No deal."

Clenched fists suggest nervousness or anger. Crossed arms classically mean the person is closed to your ideas. Crossed legs say the same. Be wary of placing your hand across your mouth when you're talking. It can be interpreted to mean you have something to hide.

Be especially careful of the steely stare. Some professionals I know in the entertainment industry use it as a power ploy. You've undoubtedly met power trippers like these yourself. But I've seen the steely look backfire and turn people off. It's said by historical eyewitnesses that one reason Hitler successfully browbeat his adversaries was because his stare was so spookily fixed and unmoving. One diplomat remarked that he never blinked. That's good for destroying the world, but not so great at the company party.

Remember, every move you make in a social or business setting sends a message to others about who you are, what you think, and what you're after. Even if people are untrained in the arts of interpreting body language, they'll instinctively read your body projections, and respond accordingly. The great football coach Vince Lombardi always told his players, "Look good getting off the bus, and then play a heck of a game!"

In other works, look like a winner physically, behave like a winner socially, and you'll always be a winner.