9
How and Why to Keep Smiling

There still are scientists who claim that humans are the only animals who can smile. I don’t believe that.

Daisy, our yellow lab, has a killer smile. As she establishes eye contact, her mouth drops open and the corners turn up, wider and wider. When she gives my husband, Andy Alexander, her love gaze, his big grin mimics hers. The two of them may briefly freeze like that, with locked eyes and happy faces. At other times, Daisy’s smile overtakes her body and—still looking Andy straight in the eye—she gyrates with pleasure, from her wagging tail and wriggling butt to her vibrating shoulders.

I’ve noticed that simply by describing a Daisy smile, I can trigger an intense answering smile on Andy’s face. Because he frequently travels, on occasion I’ll describe her smile as we chat on the phone. In my mind’s eye, I see his face light up at just the thought of Daisy’s happy look.

Although there’s disagreement about the validity of canine smiles, it’s widely known that the human smile is contagious. Dale Carnegie wrote about that back in 1936 in his immensely popular book How to Win Friends & Influence People. In its section on “Six Ways to Make People Like You,” Principle 2 was just one word: “Smile.”

Carnegie said, your smile “is a messenger of your goodwill” and a simple way to make a good impression. He advised readers to smile even when they don’t feel like it, because action and feeling go together. If you smile you’ll feel happier, and those around you may as well.

Reasons why smiling is still a good strategy

In the roughly 80 years since Carnegie drafted Principle 2, psychologists and other scientists have undertaken countless studies of the human smile. It seems that the phenomenon is more complicated than Carnegie suggested. For one thing, your smile and the message it carries are shaped partly by your culture. For example, in the American South people smile more often, and to stone-faced Northeasterners, their friendly demeanors may come across as fake. Also, immediate circumstances can shift the way your expression is interpreted. Normally your smile is positive for the person who receives it. But if you walk around with a big grin after you get the plum assignment, it might get under your office rival’s skin.

Despite the complexities, however, modern research affirms that “Smile!” is often excellent career advice. Here are some why’s and how’s of smiling:

image It’s healthy and feels good. Smiling can increase the release of endorphins and other mood-enhancing hormones. It can calm your heart rate and blood pressure, contribute to a heightened sense of well-being, and lead to improved health. Smiling can help you release tension and work-related stress with an impact so profound you may experience it at a cellular level.

image You’ll look good. When you smile, there’s a better chance other people will perceive you as competent, attractive, likable, and memorable. They are also more likely to find you approachable and see you as trustworthy. And they’ll think you look younger. On top of all that, the odds are better that they’ll remember you the next time you meet.

image It’s contagious. We are hardwired to mirror each other’s happy looks. When you smile at colleagues or clients, they may automatically return your expression. More importantly, as you exchange smiles with another person, the two of you connect in a more fundamental way. They actually experience the positivity underlying your smile and, as a result, could be more satisfied with your conversation.

image It spreads. If your smile makes a team member feel good, his mood will improve and he’ll be more likely to smile at the next face he sees. The wave of good feeling can become viral, moving from one person to another. The culture of your whole team can be improved by the addition of just one member who often smiles.

image Even fakes work. The most powerful smiles are genuine, emanating from deep within you. But social smiles—those that require some effort on your part—are effective as well. And they can start a virtuous cycle. If you struggle to smile, but then I smile back, you will respond to my facial expression. Soon your tentative smile can become heartfelt.

image You can get better at it. The more you practice a positive expression, the more likely it is that you’ll experience spontaneous smiles. The trick is to start your smile from the inside, by thinking about something that makes you feel good. Simple techniques include summoning up the image of a loved one, or remembering a particularly happy event.

If you smile more regularly, your new habit can retrain your brain to see the world in optimistic ways. The more you smile, the more you’ll escape the natural tendency of humans to focus on threats and other negativity. Your shift to thinking positively might boost your creativity and help you to be more productive.

An excellent way to support the habit of smiling more often is to consciously begin each morning with a smile. When you first wake up, summon up a happy thought and practice your best grin. Then your smiles may come more easily for the rest of the day.

..................Content has been hidden....................

You can't read the all page of ebook, please click here login for view all page.
Reset
3.141.7.22