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Book Description

No one likes to be criticized. But when feedback is necessary—whether it’s with a boss, someone we manage, or another co-worker—it takes great communication skills to successfully get the message across with feelings and relationships intact. Drawing from the latest in psychology on how best to connect with others, How to Tell Anyone Anything steers readers away from the common mistake of focusing on what’s wrong, and shows them instead how to provide clear, constructive, positive messages that create real behavior and performance change. Complete with illuminating examples and a unique step-by-step process, the book gives readers powerful insight into how we all react naturally to criticism—and how to transform interactions that might become verbal tugs-of-war into collaborative, problem-solving sessions.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication Page
  5. Contents
  6. Acknowledgments
  7. Introduction: A New Way of Looking at Dialogue
  8. Section I: The Basics
    1. Chapter 1. Why we Stink at Difficult Conversations—And how we can Change
    2. Chapter 2. How to have Painless Conversations: The CANDID Approach
  9. Section II: The CANDID Approach in Detail
    1. Chapter 3. Compartmentalize your Message: The Neutral Zone
    2. Chapter 4. Ask Questions: From Furious to Curious
    3. Chapter 5. Normalize: It's OK, Really
    4. Chapter 6. Discuss the Issue: Just the Facts
    5. Chapter 7. Incentivize: It's All about Them
    6. Chapter 8. Disengage from the Discussion: Making a Good Last Impression
  10. Section III. The Advanced Course
    1. Chapter 9. Reframing: Making Difficult Messages Painless
    2. Chapter 10. Managing the Dialogue: Response and Counter-Response
    3. Chapter 11. You don't Say: Phrases to Avoid
    4. Chapter 12. How to Receive Feedback
  11. Section IV. Putting it into Practice
    1. Chapter 13. Case Studies: Creating Painless Discussions in Real Life
    2. Chapter 14. Troubleshooting the Mechanics
  12. Epilogue: Summing it All Up
  13. Appendix A: The Painless Conversation Worksheet
  14. Appendix B: Strength-Based Psychology: The Basis of Painless Communication
  15. Index
  16. About the Author
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