SECTION 2

Writing

TIP #37

Write Like a Journalist

When writing news stories, reporters typically write a “lead” (or “lede”). They write a first sentence that contains the “who, what, when, where, why, how and often, the how much,” of the article.

For instance, if you read today’s news, you might find this kind of first sentence in an article: Last night, Senator Gruber, allegedly under the influence of alcohol, lost control of his 2019 Mercedes and wrecked in front of the White House, causing an estimated $10,000 damage to his car, putting his unidentified passenger into the hospital.

This sentence answers the questions: Who did what, when, where, and to what extent?

Application

Newspapers are sold. If they don’t appeal to people, they won’t be bought. People are busy and they want the facts—the who, what, when, where, why, how, and how much. It’s also true that newspapers also publish opinion and point of view, but their main objective is to give the news of the day, quickly. Over the years, newspapers have created this journalist formula, the lead. It works exceptionally well in business, too. No one has time. We all want the facts quickly. We live in the Age of Twitter, the 280-character universe.

A CEO will appreciate you if you write a first sentence that reads something like this: I recommend that we invest $100,000 immediately in software for the Wonderly Project as the investment will bring the project to a close three weeks ahead of schedule and bring a return on our investment of $250,000.

Or, write something like that! In any event, if you write this way, you will show respect for the CEO who is pressed for time and wants to know your recommendation immediately. If it’s bad news, give it directly and with recommendations for dealing with the problem. Give the most important information in the first sentence (or subject line)! You will also be practicing the BLUF Method.

Story

When you decide to communicate by writing to someone or some group, you consciously, or unconsciously, choose from among three styles: transactional, expressive, and poetic.

If you have ever written a love letter, you will recognize the expressive style:

“I love you from the depth of my being, Bubba! I worship the ground you walk on! I will love you forever, until the end of time!”

That style of writing is pure passion! Lots of exclamation points! Words bleeding onto the page with no editing, a simple, emotional outpouring! And, that’s the way it should be! (Try writing a love letter in memo form and you will see why.)

We don’t write many love letters in business, though. Occasionally, we write notes of praise, and they sound somewhat similar to love letters, that is, very expressive:

“You rock, Bubba! You completed the project a month ahead of schedule! The client loves you! We love you! We are proud of you and proud to work with you! Keep up the good work!”

These communications celebrate those occasions when we have seen something special happen at the office. In rare instances, these messages cross over to the “poetic” style and we experience brief JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr. moments:

“You’ve been to the mountain, Bubba! You suffered the cold, the deprivation, the harsh winds of business but you persevered and scaled the highest peak and returned with the flag! All of us in the department are proud of your accomplishment in the last client engagement!”

Most of the time, however, we have our feet planted firmly in the cubicle and communicate to transact business. At those times, we use a transactional style to inform, query, or persuade. We arm ourselves with logic and leave the emotions behind. We begin with a statement of our purpose and use the language and style that support our arguments in a logical, coherent fashion, using the paragraph as the unit of thought.

For instance, Barack Obama might have written,

In this hypothetical message, Barack knows his purpose for writing, as stated clearly in the first sentence, the “topic sentence.” He supports that statement with specifics in the next three sentences, and he summarizes his message in the last sentence. He has created a “unit of thought” in a transactional style.

When you want to share understanding with an audience (that is, communicate), know your purpose. State it clearly and simply. Write it down to make sure you understand what you are trying to achieve with the communication. When you understand, your audience will also likely understand. As a result, you will save time and money. Hey, who knows, you might even be poetic!

TIP #38

Lose the BS

When leaders speak in jargon, clichés and Business BS, they are doomed. Why? Because they have become inauthentic. The opposite—authentic—means real and genuine. When leaders talk with clichés and worn out language, they lose this critical trait. Soon, their audience perceives their talking as meaningless language, and they lose the emotional connection. Their language tastes like cardboard. At that point, they need to fortify their language pillars before the pillars collapse.

Application

We love business people like Warren Buffett, Jack Welch, and Richard Branson for their authenticity and deference to audiences. You never hear them talking about fortifying their profit pillars. They succeed because they keep it real; their language is brutally honest. Even in the hard times, we give them a pass because we know they are being direct with us. So, do yourself a favor: if you are a leader, avoid empty, vacuous language, or watch your career become a train wreck.

Use short words, short sentences, and short paragraphs. Use simple language and not jargon. Communicate to express, not to impress. Avoid the “curse of knowledge;” don’t think that everyone automatically understands everything you say. They don’t.

Story

An executive at Ford Motors lost his job. It didn’t surprise me after I read an old interview with him in Fortune magazine.

In the interview, when asked to comment on his company’s loss of first place to Tesla in the market, he responded that he didn’t measure his company against other companies. That’s good, I thought. But then, his next words broke into BizSpeak. When asked about his company’s future, he said, “We are absolutely committed to creating shareholder value for our shareholders and creating value in the company.” Let’s see? You are going to create shareholder value for shareholders. (Would you create shareholder value for anyone else?)

He continued by saying that under his leadership, the company would create shareholder value by, are you ready for this, “Fortifying our profit pillars.” Have you ever heard that one before? Can you imagine that? OK, team, get out there and fortify those profit pillars. (Should we use cement?)

Well, the board evidently didn’t see the pillars being fortified. In fact, news reports suggest that shareholders didn’t see the pillars the same way the executive did. They looked for more focus in the core business while the executive spoke of “transforming the underperforming parts of our business and by growing in the emerging opportunities: mobility, autonomous vehicles and electrification.”

When shareholders and boards no longer understand or see a plan for the success of a company, they start thinking it’s time for new leadership. Don’t be the leader on the way out because you failed to communicate in a clear concise manner that inspires followers to follow.

TIP #39

Use Words to Differentiate Your Company (and Yourself)

Michael Porter said that companies can follow one of three strategies: cost leadership, niche, or differentiation. As I reflect on those, they seem to be three versions of the same thing, differentiation. In these days of over-communication and short attention spans, companies (and individuals) need to make their difference known quickly. That can be done in a few words.

If you want to succeed, you must differentiate. Why should I hire you and not the other company or employee? What do you bring that the rest of the hoard doesn’t? Tell me. What’s your difference? Make it a word, or phrase, or sentence, something that I will remember. Right now, my brainpower is taken by some constant mantras, like “Make America Great Again,” “Black Lives Matter,” “Beat ’Em, Bucs” and others.

Application

Story

I worked in a health care organization that tried to compete and differentiate through caring. We adopted the slogan, “High touch, not high tech.” The CEO, a religious woman, loved it. She felt it perfectly matched the mission of the organization and she wanted the mission to differentiate us from the non-religious health care organizations. We did focus group research and people said they wanted the high tech, but they expected all health care organizations to provide high touch. I told the CEO the focus group results and suggested that we change the slogan. She taught me a lesson. She said, “No way. We want to differentiate through our mission. I don’t care if a few people like or don’t like our slogan.” We kept the slogan and used it for years. In the long run it worked.

TIP #40

Write Well. Differentiate Yourself

Why not differentiate yourself by being a good writer? The statistics prove that most people can’t write well. Within the last years we have seen headlines like these: “What corporate American can’t build: a sentence” (NY Times), “Poor writing costs taxpayers millions” (Washington Post), and my favorite “Literacy falls for college graduates” (NY Times).

Think about this: business people don’t write well for many reasons. Mostly they write poorly because they try to impress someone. Often, they write poorly because it’s part of their profession; they are academics, lawyers, bureaucrats, or geeks. And, often they have joined a corporate culture that values awful writing. But, if you can communicate well, through strong writing and confident speaking, you will differentiate yourself. I am a living, walking, and breathing example of differentiating and succeeding through it.

Application

The best writers tell stories and they tell them with the minimum of words, especially a minimum of big words. They use simple language and simple sentences to construct logical arguments. They follow this kind of process. They:

Notice that this process begins with audience and purpose. You must start with your purpose and answer the question: What am I trying to achieve with this message? You might also ask yourself: How will I know if I have achieved it? If you don’t know what you are trying to achieve— why are you bothering to write to someone—how can the audience be expected to know what you are trying to accomplish?

You will be helped too, if you can answer the following questions on the minds of all the readers: Why did you write to me? What do you want me to do? and, Why should I care? That last one is the WIIFM question—the What’s In It For Me? If you can answer those quickly, you will likely have an attentive audience.

Story

I teach at Carnegie Mellon University, one of the most reputable universities in the world, a center of research and innovation, attracting some of the finest students from around the world. I teach “Strategic Writing” primarily and have taught many versions of “Marketing,” as well as “Strategy” and “Entrepreneurism.” I don’t have the Harvard or Stanford credentials of many of my colleagues, but I did rise to several executive level positions, including Chief Marketing Officer at a Carnegie Mellon international for-profit and vice president of marketing at a statewide, multi-billion dollar health care corporation in Pennsylvania, by using my communication talent. And, I have never had a formal college class in marketing!

How did I rise in the ranks of marketing without a degree in marketing? I used my English major (bachelors and masters) and parlayed them with my strategic thinking, writing skills, and the ability to speak comfortably in front of audiences. These skills differentiated me from the many others with whom I worked. I was able to use writing to influence, persuade, build credibility, and motivate others. These are among the most important components of superior management.

You can do this, too, especially by becoming a strong writer. This is an attainable goal for anyone willing to put in the effort. Writing is a craft that requires practice and perfection. Learn a few simple rules of the craft and you will soon begin to differentiate yourself from the pack!

TIP #41

Write the Way You Talk

Look, there’s way too much information flying around out there. We are exposed to 34 gigabytes of information every day. Exposed to that much, we will consciously deal with only a little (one study says, we are exposed to 11 million bits per second and deal consciously with only 50!) 11 million vs. 50. Get it? We ignore 10,999,50 bits of information every second. We are ignor-ant! And, it’s a good thing!

Yes, it’s useful to ignore writing like the following weak, but important, web copy:

When you come to these words, you automatically ignore them. Why? Because of your brain. Your brain is busy keeping you alive, constantly alert to danger, which often comes in the form of novelty and disruption. Anything slippery, abstract, or trite will be rejected or passed over by your brain. If a message doesn’t give you needed knowledge in a fast, binary way, it is not noticed.

Application

Try this: memorize that group of italicized sentences above (that will be a real chore in itself) and say them to your husband, wife, mother, or anyone else tonight. Better yet, stop a complete stranger on the street and say the sentences. You will get one of three things: a wild-eyed stare, a punch, or arrested.

So, why would I suggest that you stop a stranger and recite that weak verbiage? Because your website attempts to stop strangers and recite it to them. Yet, you would never say this on the street or over a cup of coffee or in a client’s office, “Our commitment to our customers, employees, shareholders and society is to act with integrity at all times . . .” Try it! It sounds silly.

OK, now how would you say that passage? You might say, “If you work with us, you can expect that we will always follow the rule of law . . .” Or, you might tell a story about a time when you acted ethically despite temptations. Look, you can tell a story in three sentences.

In any event, if you try to write about abstract things, such as your ethical approach to business (and here’s the important part). if you want someone to read it, don’t write like a lawyer, bureaucrat, or professor. Write it the way you would say it. Show, don’t tell. What are the “highest ethical standards?” Show me!

If you want to impress your clients, write the way you talk. Write directly, concretely, and openly. Either way, you communicate a message. When you write the way you speak, however, you more likely will communicate the message you intended.

Story

If you look at the works of these writers: Ernest Hemingway, Elmore Leonard, Raymond Carver, Anita Shreve, and David Mamet, among others, you will see language that is spare and bare, and, in Mamet’s case, writing that copies almost exactly the way people speak. They write for economy and authenticity and the writing is easy to read. It’s mainly about authenticity, about being the person that you are, not the person you think the audience expects you to be.

When we talk, we don’t grope for big words, we don’t try to confuse the people who are listening. We take pains to be clear about our messages, even substituting words for those that might be more understandable. When you write, approach it the same way. Take pains to simplify your language and repeat words or phrases when necessary. Use analogy, metaphor, and simile. Work hard to be understood.

TIP #42

Show, Don’t Tell

Any good writing teacher will give you this sage advice: “Show, don’t tell.” I, too, offer those words of wisdom! Apply them to everything you write. Use concrete, specific language, the kind of language that paints a picture for the reader to see and feel. Put the reader in the scene with you, feeling the sweat running down their collar because the tension is so intense in the meeting. Show them picking at their collars because they are so nervous. Show the glare from the PowerPoint (PPT) and the papers strewn across the twenty-foot boardroom table.

Application

How does this concept apply to business writing? For one thing, it applies directly to resumes. As I have reviewed hundreds of resumes written by my students, I typically see language like this: “Coordinated a team of project engineers for the installation of customer relations management software at Widget International.”

That sentence will provide more meaning and create more impact it if says, “Coordinated a team of seven project engineers in a three-week engagement at Widget International of Buffalo, NY, to install customer relations software and increase customer satisfaction scores by 11.5%.”

When you tell, you rob the reader of scene, story, and outcome. When you show, you give the reader the scene, story, and outcome. Every sentence we write may not include an outcome but everything we write is story. We introduce ourselves to a potential client and we tell a story. Better yet, we introduce ourselves to a potential client, and we evoke their story! We listen to their story. Then, after we understand our clients’ needs, we share our stories; we build narratives that show how we have benefited some other customer. This works especially well in cover letters or executive summaries to Requests For Proposals (RFPs).

So, if you are trying to sell your services to a customer or even sell yourself as a potential date, especially in writing, show, don’t tell.

Story

For example, suppose a well-known tennis shoe company writes this sentence: “The ten-year old sister ran very, very fast in our tennis shoes!”That sentence does nothing to you. It tells; it doesn’t show. How do you make those words show? Well, you might say, “As an ice cream truck passed our house, its bell ringing and announcing the sweet pleasure of chocolate syrup over vanilla ice cream, my ten-year old sister raced the truck to the corner of our block. She took off in her brand new, white sneakers, her braided pigtails flying, and she beat that truck by two truck lengths! The folks in the neighborhood whooped and hollered from their porches, telling their little friend to ‘Hurry, Holly, hurry!’” That is showing, not telling.

TIP #43

Connect with Customers Through Writing

How do you connect with your customers? Call them? Meet them face-to-face? Send them a piece of sales literature, a link to your website, a Request For Proposal, or do you meet them through a mutual business associate?

Whatever the means, chances are great that somewhere along the line, you use the written word to connect to your customers and, just as importantly, stay connected to them. After all, writing offers an inexpensive way to maintain a connection. A stamp costs, what, 55 cents and an e-mail is free!

Application

If you use writing to connect or stay connected to your customers, you will want to be certain that what you write is well written. What does “well written” mean?

You can initiate, build, and maintain business relationships through writing. Take a minute and ask yourself how you currently initiate, build, and maintain business relationships? I expect you will say, “Well, I meet the client, we have lunch, we tell each other stories (of ourselves and our companies), we meet again, and so on.” You may, or may not, identify writing as a relationship-building tool.

When you use writing to connect to your customers, you attempt to engage them in an ongoing conversation, a dialogue, wherein you can learn their interests and their issues (their pain) and help them to find solutions to their problems. Then, as you communicate with each other, you slowly and subtly grow your relationship, one based on mutual understanding, trust and, competence. You will find that your written communications will tell the story of your growing business relationship and support the other channel activities that you use to keep your relationship strong, that is, face-to-face meetings, telephone calls, IMs, tweets, reports, RFPs, and cocktails at Happy Hour!

Write a Blog

These recommendations for well-written documents apply to any form of written communication—letters, memos, e-mails, RFPs, and even hand-written notes, as well as social media, such as blogs, white papers, and writings on social applications such as LinkedIn and Facebook.

What do you write about, for instance, on your blog? You write only about that which interests your customers and potential customers. And, what interests them? Typically, they want to read about business trends, technology trends, business stories, current events, FAQ’s, “Top 10” lists, interviews, book reviews, business problems and solutions, and the like.

Write a White Paper

If you don’t want to blog because you can’t spare the time (and if you blog you know you must write regularly and respond regularly), try writing a “white paper.” White papers typically focus on business stories, especially business problems and solutions. In other words, they discuss that which interests the audience. Just as a blog cannot be a personal or corporate rant, a white paper cannot be used to overtly further some corporate sales objective. If you use these media outlets to write about the greatness of you and your company, eventually you will be found out and no one will read your papers, white, brown, green, red, or blue.

Story

Many enlightened executives, because they realize that conversation is the new marketing approach, are blogging and finding other ways to involve their clients in a dialogue. Cognizant’s Frank D’Sousa had been doing it, at least internally, for some time. All managers and executives need to know their clients’ thirst for knowledge and useful conversation.

You may not think of e-mails, notes, memos, and so on, as building or destroying a business relationship. And, I doubt that you know that you can write white papers, blogs, tweets, and chats, using social media (and conventional media) to share information, probe your clients, and have valuable conversations with them.

You may also not appreciate that your style of writing, good or bad, makes impressions about you and your company. Moreover, you may not understand the great opportunity you have to differentiate yourself and your company through clear, concise, and coherent writing. Much evidence suggests that most of corporate America can’t write. This presents a significant opportunity for any company.

Anyone can learn the best ways to blog, create white papers, and use social media to send these “love letters” and to open and maintain dialogue with their clients and their colleagues. They can learn the best style. They can learn the appropriate grammar. They can learn how to promote their blogs and white papers.

For instance, blog information is rampant and free on the Internet. White papers can be downloaded by opting in to many sites. Writing resources, such as “OWL” at Purdue University, offer free materials. Additionally, information about promotional writing and journalism exists on the Internet at little to no cost.

TIP #44

Choose Your Words Carefully and Proofread

Barack Obama once embarrassed himself when he used the words “Special Olympics.” You can bet he knows their power and wishes he had never used those words to describe some of his staff. And he should. He messed up big time when he said his White House bowling resembled the Special Olympics.

But, Barack has been on the other end of it. When he first ran for the presidency of the United States, some poll workers in New York apologized to Barack when they issued an absentee ballot with the words “Barack Osama.” Seems even one letter can do damage, let alone one or two words. Somebody needed to proofread closely. There was a guy named “Osama” who was not well liked by Americans.

Application

No one likes to proofread. OK, maybe 100 people in the world really enjoy it. They are usually working for PR or advertising agencies. No one likes to do it because it’s so hard. How do you avoid making these types of errors? I suggest this:

Yes, I repeated the first suggestion. It’s the best one. Actually, get three people to read your writing! The hardest errors to spot are our own.

Story

Just ask the Iowa Community College that invited its students to a “Linch and Learn” for Black History Month. Think they had to apologize? How about grovel?

Once when I worked in corporate communications at a major health care organization. We sent hundreds of brochures to Emergency Medical Technicians in western Pennsylvania inviting them to a Grand Rounds. Unfortunately, the hundreds of brochures said, “Ground Rounds.” You think I didn’t hear about that?!

In a memoir, Henry Kissinger reported an incident during the Viet Nam War when the Department of Defense authorized a foray into North Viet Nam to rescue American POWs from a prisoner of war camp. They sent a force to the camp at great cost and risk, despite a coded message from inside the camp saying that the camp was “closed.” The DOD decided, because they really wanted to carry out the mission, that the word “closed” meant that the gates were locked. In fact, according to Kissinger, when rescuers got to the camp, they found it was empty.

New York real estate tycoon Larry Silverstein owned a 99-year lease on the World Trade Center Complex. He also owned an insurance policy that said he would be paid $3.5 billion for any terrorist “event” that damaged the complex. After 9/11, he sued for $7 billion, claiming that the complex was the victim of two “events.” Guess what? He convinced the judge that 9/11 damage to the WTC was two separate events. He was awarded the $7 billion.

Yes, words have mystery and power. You know that when you name your child, when you say the name of the person you love, when you say Jesus, Mohamed, or Buddha, when you say the two words, “I do” or “I quit” or when you tell a bad joke. You especially know the power of words when you have been politically incorrect.

TIP #45

Avoid Sexism

Prejudice affects both men and women. However, sexism as a form of prejudice in our language discriminates more against women than men. This problem has historical and political roots. You need not be told that for years, women were kept out of certain occupations and roles. Today, however, we find women in the police force, the postal service and the infantry, among other previously male-dominated professions. For this reason, we need to use a vocabulary that reflects the important role women play in society.

Over the years, our language has, unfortunately, relied on words such as these: policeman, infantryman, chairman, postman, fisherman, guys, and the like. People who use these terms are considered not just sexist but unfair, insensitive, uninformed, and archaic. Obviously, we are best served to understand how words like these show prejudice against others and to avoid using them.

Consider the following list and ask yourself if the words are sexist: Mankind, Modern Man, Brotherhood of Man, Forefathers, Housewife, Poetess, Old Maid, and Working Man. It doesn’t require much thinking to know that these words reveal sexist thinking. Sometimes, however, sexist references are more subtle. Look at these sentences:

Much sexist writing is subtle. An “aggressive man” is not typically considered a negative comment; however, the term “aggressive woman” is often pejorative. Imagine a scenario where a visitor to an architectural firm tells the woman he first meets that he wants to speak to an architect. Keep in mind that not all women in architectural firms are administrative assistants (and not all nurses are women). Indeed, if you are sensitive to this issue, you will easily be able to answer this riddle: How could the baseball game have had a score of 5-3 when not a man reached first base the entire game?

Application

When we write, we must understand how to use pronouns, word endings, nouns, titles, salutations, signatures, modifiers, and names. When using pronouns, you may use “he or she” and “him or her” sparingly. You may change words from singular to plural to avoid sexism (“An individual may check his credit records” becomes “Individuals may check their credit records”). You may repeat nouns (“The driver must maintain a safe speed. He must also…” becomes “The driver must maintain a safe speed. The driver must also….”). The writer may use “you” when appropriate (“A client must check with his account manager” becomes “As a client, you are responsible to check with your account manager”). You may also alternate the use of “he” and “she” when writing a long passage.

Word endings such as -ess and -ette create other problems. You may omit these endings from most words, waitress becomes server, actress becomes actor (both male and female), and hostess becomes host. For nouns, use person instead of man, as in salesperson. For titles, avoid Mrs. and Miss; use Ms. instead. These constitute just some of the forms you can use to be certain that you are not using language that demeans or discriminates. To make sure that you are not using sexist language, look for further instruction in this subject.

Story

I worked in a religious organization that focused on health care. Because it was religious, we often began meetings with a prayer, an invocation to God to help us use wisdom and creativity so that we might achieve Her purpose for us. That’s right, I said “Her purpose.” When we prayed to God, we invoked the God as woman. I must admit that coming from an era that was chauvinistic I found the invocation to be unsettling, but I soon accustomed myself to it, especially as the father of three daughters.

TIP #46

Get to Know the Words You Are Using

Language begins to make much more sense to you when you know the origin of words, their etymology. For instance, did you get a flu shot? A vaccine? If so, you might be interested to know that you received, in a manner of speaking, a cow shot! How so, you ask?

The word vaccine comes from the Latin word “vacca” meaning, you guessed it, cow! Long ago, like three hundred years ago, a Dr. Jenner noticed that milkmaids were immune from small pox but getting cowpox. So, for some strange reason, he used the pus (yuck) from a milkmaid’s cowpox blister to inject into a child who became immune to small pox. He called his creation a “vaccine virus.” And, there you have another reason to thank a cow the next time you see one!

Application

You can find word information and other word curiosities online at www.etymonline.com or www.wordorigins.com or www.wordspy.com.

If you look around the Internet sites, you will see that the word “varsity” actually comes from the abbreviated form of “university,” that is, “versity” (with an apostrophe) and over the years “versity” came to be varsity.

“Assassin” has an interesting background (or etymology). An Arab bandit, Hasan Sabah, and his followers liked to kill public officials, including priests! Before the killers left to perform their dastardly deeds, these men often smoked hashish to get their minds in an appropriate killing place. They became known as “hashishiyun,” the men who smoked, ate, or otherwise ingested large amounts of hash. We know these men as assassins.

I like to remind my friends from India that elements of our language can be traced to their country. Linguists call the original language “ Proto-Indo European.” For example, we can understand words like “juggernaut” if we understand India. In this wonderful and exotic country, many Hindus celebrate the feast of “Jagannath,” the Lord of the World, aka Krishna and Vishnu. In any event, during their festival, some of the believers place a huge statue of Jagannath on a movable cart and parade it through the town. Occasionally, the very devout threw themselves under the cart in self-sacrifice. The cart didn’t stop and the unstoppable force came to be known in the West as a juggernaut!

Not all words have such negative origins. If you look up the etymology of the word “enthusiasm,” you will fall in love with this term that comes from the Greek and means “with God.” It comes from the prefix “en” (with) and “theos” (God). And so, we rightly call the enthusiastic people we know the ones those who are with God!

Story

For a year or so, I was engaged by a seminary to help them raise money for an endowment, not the easiest form of fund raising (why should I give you my money to put in your bank?). When I first walked onto the campus, I saw carved into the main building this message, “The hope of the harvest lies in the planting.” Not knowing the derivation, I asked the rector why that message of planting was carved over the entrance of a seminary. He then told me about the etymology of the word, “seminary.” If you poke around a little, you will find that “seminary” comes from the Latin root “semen.” Men constitute the “seed” that is planted to form a priest. (Notice that I used the word “form.” Rectors resist the word “train” since men are “called” to become priests and then formed, or as the rector said, “Monkeys are trained.”)

Appreciating the origins of words helps us as we write and speak as we appreciate the tools we use, the better we use them.

TIP #47

Avoid Phrasal Verbs

How often have you seen the phrase, “came up with?” For example, we “came up with” a new strategy. If you pay attention to your writing and the writing of others, you will see this kind of construction often. It is called a “phrasal,” a verb with an adverb and/or preposition attached to it.

You will never have to remember that word, phrasal, unless you get a shot at “Jeopardy.” “I’ll take English grammar for $100.” So, don’t memorize it, but remember the notion. You don’t have to use three words when one will do. In the case of “came up with,” we prefer “we developed a new strategy” or “we created a new strategy” or “proposed a new strategy.”

Application

That said, phrasal verbs perform a useful function in idiomatic writing, when the adverb modifies the verb. Take the verb “run” and the many adverbs that attach themselves to it. Someone can run away. Or, you can run into a long lost friend. Or, you might run over that friend. If you watch your language, you will quickly get the run down on run!

Or, consider the mighty midget, “up.” For one of the smallest words in the English language, it may just have the longest definition in the dictionary. It has so many uses thanks to its remora-like attachment to a host of verbs. For example, you might fix up an old engine and have it take up lots of space in the garage, or work up a thirst before opening up a can of brew, while you size up the situation. You might just give up, go into the house and dress up for the mechanics ball, if you are up to it, you might wind up with a great date.

Or, if you decide to be less idiomatic, you might repair an old engine and have it occupy a lot of space while you open a beer and review the situation before quitting to shower, shave, and prepare for the ball (I was greatly tempted to say “spruce up”). And, if all goes well, and you persevere, you may get lucky! All because you came to the point and used one word instead of three!

Story

Once again, people from different countries who speak English as a second language are puzzled over phrasal verbs. Typically, they understand them from listening to the rest of us speak and not from a grammatical point of view. I have had the hardest time explaining this to my students from Asia, especially. It’s almost as hard as curing people from using fillers when they are speaking.

I had a student from another country who wrote that he “looked up to” an alumni. I said, “Why don’t you substitute those three words for one?” He wasn’t certain how to do that. So, I asked him to think of similar words that he had heard. Finally, after lots of anguished searching, he came to the word “admired.” We both celebrated with a trip to the water fountain.

Obviously, this is more of a problem for someone who uses English as a second language. But, too many native English speakers and writers use phrasal verbs because no one has brought it to their attention or they are too lazy with their writing. Again, the best writing is clear, coherent, and concise. Never use three words when one will suffice.

TIP #48

Use Articles. Sound Native

According to language experts, most of us have a vocabulary of 100,000 words! That’s pretty impressive, isn’t it! Many of those are nouns and verbs; but, according to one expert, James W. Pennebaker, we typically use one word the most. What is that word?

If you guessed “I,” you got it right! “I” is followed by ... any guesses? In the Number 2 spot you will find “the” followed by “and,” which is followed by “to,” “a,” “of,” “that,” “in,” “it,” and “my.”

Think about that for a moment. The most commonly used words are what Pennebaker calls “function words” or “forgettable words.” These include the categories of pronouns, articles, prepositions, auxiliary verbs, quantifiers, conjunctions, and common adverbs. The rest of his Top 20 includes more of these simple little words: is, you, was, for, have, with, he, me, on, but. They are insanely simple, small, and short, but they perplex many people.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I have been teaching English, and writing, and English as a Second Language (ESL) for many years, and with my non-native English speakers/writers, I see errors commonly associated with those simple words! My students typically get what Pennebaker calls the “content words” (nouns and verbs). But, they too often miss the function words, especially the articles.

Give me a piece of writing by a student from China and cover the name and I will tell you that the paper was written by a student from China (or Japan or India). The Chinese do not use articles (or a whole bunch of the other things we use in our grammar). Unfortunately, the rules for using articles are confusing. And, when students of ESL misuse articles, they broadcast immediately that they are using English as a Second Language.

So, what’s wrong with that and what’s to be done about it? We speak, according to some estimates, 16,000 words each day. Fortunately, when we talk to someone, they can hear our tone of voice, see our body language and gestures and, in other words, put our words into context. But, when we write, much of the context goes missing. The function words help to guide the readers and keep them on track and keep their thoughts connected. If you write, “CEO will make report. Executive staff will hear report,” you obviously have missed some connections and guidewords and sound, well, not fluent in English.

Application

The rules for using articles are many and confusing. Let me give a few important ones here.

Writers of English as a Second Language (ESL) have the worst time with articles. These pesky little words include “a,” “an” and “the.” Native speakers have seen and used them so many times that we have no problems with articles; but, these three simple words bedevil non-native writers. So, let’s take a look at articles and their usage.

We call “a” and “an” indefinite articles; that is, they don’t usually point to a specific thing that follows them. We say, “an apple,” not referring to a specific apple. However, when we use “the” such as, “I want the apple with the worm hole,” we refer to a specific apple.

Also, we do not use “a” or “an” with non-count nouns. Obviously, the non-count nouns refer to something that cannot be counted, such as news, snow, knowledge, and courage (the list is very long). You might say, “Vijay asked Raj for news of the merger.” You would not say, “… ‘a’ news of the merger or ‘an’ news (although in a different context you could say ‘the’ news).”

We can use “the” with most nouns, especially if we already know the noun. We might say, “A project for ABC Company is coming our way. The project will keep us busy for months.”

As you saw in the previous sentence, the noun “project” was already mentioned and that signals that you may use “the” before the next use of the word “project,” as you are referring to something you already know.

Sometimes certain words signal an occasion to use “the.” These words include superlatives such as “most” and “best.” In that case, you will use the word “the” before a noun, as in the following example “That was the best seminar I have ever attended.” Or, “He has the most e-mail of anyone I have ever known.”

However, you need not use “the” with singular proper nouns. For example, you need not say, “I attended the Carnegie Mellon University (unless you intended to emphasize). However, you will use “the” with plural proper nouns, such as, “I attended Carnegie Mellon University in the United States.”

Lastly, do not use “the” with plural nouns when they mean “all” or “in general,” such as “Clients are wonderful people.” Here you mean that all clients are wonderful people or clients are wonderful people in general.

When you are uncertain about whether or not to use an article, read your writing aloud. If it sounds bad, then it is probably misused.

Story

The next time you struggle to write something, think about our friends from Asia who are trying to write in this perplexing English language of ours.

Of all of my students, my Asian students, as a group, have the worst time with English writing. And, how would they not? For instance, according to many sources:

TIP #49

Write a Powerful First Sentence

Look at this potential first sentence. “I write to suggest that we immediately invest $10 million in new equipment and staffing to complete the XYZ Project three months early and realize a return on investment of $5 million.” That’s not what you call “beating around the bush.” Beginning with specific numbers and actions sets the stage for more specific information followed by more abstract information. Remember, the business brain doesn’t want to deal in abstractions.

Follow with a strong second sentence. “I will manage the investment and the process of acquiring the equipment and staffing.” Then, “follow this message with a complete and documented plan as well as a communication strategy. In the plan, you will see the step-by-step processes for acquisition and recruitment . . .” I have answered the “who, what, when, where, why, how, and how much” questions, very quickly.

Ask for action. “After you have reviewed the plan, please respond by close of business this week with your questions and/or approval and I will initiate this effort.”

Call now! Write! Order now! Operators are waiting! A Call-to-Action is nothing new. Advertisers use this approach every day. They don’t hide their objective deep in an ad. They begin with what they want, they want you to buy. Why use this approach? Because it works. Ask for the action!

Application

I had a friend in high school who approached young women and said, “Will you go to dinner with me on Saturday night?” He never made his request at the end of small talk; he began with his request. He claimed that if he asked 10 young women, he would be sure to get one date. But, he never used any preliminaries. He just came straight to the point and had dinner with young women quite often.

Executives are like dates in some ways. You want them to go down a certain path with you. They probably know you better from past interactions, so why not get right to the point with them, not wasting their time. They will love you for it and will likely want to date you again, so to speak.

Story

Want to write for action in business? Use the “In-Your-Face” (inductive approach)! That is, give the reader the who-what-when-where-why-how-how much—in the first sentence.

Let’s face it; no one has time any more to read lengthy memos, letters, RFPs or reports. Everyone wants to “cut to the chase” (in the case of RFPs, the executive summary). Why? Because we live in an over-communicated society. Too many blogs, ads, e-mails, IMs, and other distractions. We need a quick and simple message that rings with clarity and hits home with the force of a punch.

Want to penetrate this fog of messages? It bears repeating: Use a journalistic style. Cite the facts quickly. Give the who-what-when-where and so on in the first sentence.

Say you are on a consulting assignment and you have determined that you can close the project two weeks early and increase the return if you are given two more programmers and two new laptops at a cost of $150,000. If this is the case, write the following message to your supervisor in the first sentence: “We can complete the Widget project two weeks ahead of schedule and increase our return by $250,000 with two new staff and two laptops at a cost of $150,000.”

Whatever back-story you need to add (context), you can write after that first sentence. Whatever additional justification you need, you can include ... after that first sentence. By writing this way, you are actually respecting the reader. Any executive I know will be pleased to receive messages constructed in this manner. Executives need to make decisions quickly and they need the evidence upon which to make their decisions. You will be helping them by giving it up quickly, by using an inductive style, by getting in their faces!

TIP #50

Avoid These Sentence Starts

If you use a “there is” or “there was” or “there will be” sentence (or some variation of those), you make the reader search for the subject and the action attributed to that subject. Take this sentence, for instance, “There are conditions that suggest that the writer has no understanding of the audience’s point-of-view or knowledge of the subject matter you are discussing.” OK, quickly, what is the subject of the main clause of that sentence? I will bet you can’t figure out that it’s “conditions.” And the verb? “are.” One of the subordinate clauses (it begins with “that”) uses “writer” as its subject and “has” as its verb. (You probably called them the subject and verb of the sentence.) In any event, the structure of the sentence confuses readers. If you don’t believe that, try stating its meaning.

Another type of sentence, the “It is” or “It was” or “It will be” sentence, also confuses readers, but for a different reason. In this construction, we typically don’t know the reference to the word “It.” For instance, to what does it refer in this sentence: “It is likely that the writer has no understanding of the audience’s point-of-view or knowledge of the subject matter you are discussing.” It refers to nothing. When you write that way, you delay understanding for the reader with words that talk about themselves.

Application

Readers like to find the subject and verb of a sentence quickly. They want to know the affirmation (the verb) and that about whom something is being affirmed (the subject), or who is doing what. For that reason, as stated before, most English sentences are written in one of these sentence patterns: Subject-Verb and Subject-Verb-Object.

The latter of these two makes for a particularly strong sentence because it uses an action verb and a direct object. Someone is doing something to someone else. This pattern also uses active voice and shows responsibility. For example, “YOU did not FINISH the REPORT.” This, of course, is a typically low context, confrontational style of communication, very American/Dutch/German. In any event, the sentence tells us quickly who the players are, what actions they are discussing, and who didn’t do what.

In doing this, you also hook the reader at the beginning of the sentence. If not, he or she will lose interest in what you are trying to say and move on to something else. With that in mind, I offer you two sure ways to lose your reader: start with “There are” or “It is” (or a variation of them).

Story

I was trying to instill these concepts in one of my classes. The class consisted of graduate students, many of whom had a couple of years of experience listed on their resumes. In this case, most of them had come from Asia. They had learned formal grammar and studied English for many years, but then joined American companies with mostly American colleagues. Naturally, the Asian students wanted to fit in so they adopted the style, mannerisms, and lingo of their American colleagues. I kept saying to them, “If you can drill yourself to write Subject-Verb-Object sentences (putting the subject in front of the verb) and to use a person as the subject of your sentences, you will write more clearly and understandably.” I say this same thing to you, my reader. Whenever you write a document, look at the subject and verb of every sentence. Look to write a person as the subject and an action as the verb. And, by all means, avoid “There is” and “There are” and “It is” sentences. They subtly confuse readers.

TIP #51

Vary Sentence Length

Variety is the spice of life. We grow bored with the same old, same old. Readers suffer the same problem. If you use sentences of the same length, you put your readers to sleep. Vary sentence length and pattern, not just in your writing but in your speeches. Create a rhythm that ebbs and flows.

Application

Use short sentences. But don’t bore the reader or listener with “See Spot run” sentences. Use sentences of medium length and sentences that stretch the reader’s or listener’s attention to the breaking point.

Write a one-word sentence. Wow. That will help break the monotony. Write 10-word sentences that pull the reader gently along. Write 50-word sentences and test the reader’s endurance, their capacity to linger with you as you explain some necessary and fundamental thing, as you outline the process you hope to achieve, a process that will eventually serve their needs and result in growth for them and the organization.

Or, bore the reader. Just like this. With short sentences. One after another. Three word sentences. One following another. Or, four word sentences. See how they run? Do you like them? Do they engage you? Not on your life. You annoyed your reader. The reader will stop. Your message will fail.

The reader has other choices, you know. He or she can pick up a magazine, a newspaper, a crossword puzzle, a product label, anything that has words on it, and read it, instead of your memo.

Story

If you lose the reader, you will not communicate. You just make noise— blah, blah, blah. If you want to keep the reader, if you want to connect, if you want to cause action, vary your sentences. Write a sentence that begins with three subordinate clauses (just like the previous sentence). Or, on the other hand, begin your sentence with a conjunction and a prepositional phrase—just like this sentence. Simple, compound, complex, compound-complex—it’s your choice. And remember to keep the subject and verb close together.

Whatever you choose, take the reader on a journey. Stop. On a dime. Take a leisurely walk; over the hills and down through the valleys of your prose, running or walking, skipping or jumping, yelling as loud as you can. Then, stop for a deserved rest. Yes. Here. Wait. Just for a spell.

Now, get your wind. Hurry along with the words gathering behind you before they cascade over your shoulder. (Yes, throw in an image that the reader can see.) Then, slow down, again. Stop. Write again. Use three words. Write four-word sentences. Keep the reader guessing and interested.

Get along now; pick up some speed; go for the Big One; use a semicolon and join two clauses; and, while you are doing it, throw in another clause, joined to the first sentence. Don’t worry. Your readers will follow you, especially when you have used the right tools, such as action verbs, active voice, and characters as subjects in logical prose that sees well-chosen words placed within well-crafted sentences that create coherent and seamless paragraphs.

TIP #52

Use Parallel Structure for Clarity and Ease of Reading

We write to communicate, to share understanding, not to make understanding difficult for the reader. Parallel structure helps ease the way. Think of train tracks running together down the valley. If the tracks lose their parallel structure at any juncture, the train goes off the rails; disaster ensues. The same thing can happen with your writing, although not so catastrophically. Think of your sentences or lists this way: If you use one grammatical structure in a list, say the list of accomplishments in your resume, you must use the same one throughout the list: I managed, I direct, I coordinated, I led, and so on. You will notice these all have an S-V approach in the past tense. They can be listed or placed as I have done, in a sentence.

Application

Look at this sentence: “He likes skiing, swimming, and to hike when the weather’s nice.”

That sentence lacks parallel structure. It makes the reader stop, even if it’s momentarily, to adjust. The reader would flow along with no interruption if the sentence said, “He likes skiing, swimming, and hiking, all when the weather permits.”

Story

Banks administer bond issues for businesses or public institutions to raise money. These bonds have a definite due date specified in the indenture. To have these bonds turned in for their cash value, the bank sets up a call. The call requires basic steps.

This list offers a method to accomplish a goal, while working as a basic to do list.

Notice that each item begins with an action verb, a good way to start a business list. But, it could have begun with an “ing” word, or a noun, or an adjective. Full sentences or just fragments work equally well. In any event, you need to use consistent and similar constructions.

TIP #53

Put More Action in Your Communication

How do you put more action in your communication? Study the verbs!

If you want to write and speak more powerfully and effectively in English, study the action verbs. Action verbs power sentences, propelling one sentence into the next, driving your message forward from one action to another. The large majority of English verbs show action (with the exception of the eight state-of-being verbs). Action verbs color your page. They create stories by themselves. Leave. Go. Depart. Never darken my doorway again.

In business, we communicate for action, so it makes sense to use action verbs.

Application

Review this sentence: The project implementation has been delayed for one month due to the failure of the client to review and approve the project specifications and no go-forward plan has been approved as of this date.

The sentence has two significant failures: it uses nominals and passive voice. What is a nominal? It is a verb that has been turned into a noun. Which words are nominals in the above sentence? Implementation and failure. The sentence will be stronger when they are used as verbs, not nouns.

When you write this sentence, say that you will not “implement” the project because the client has “failed” to approve the project specifications.

Nominals are also called “weak verbs” for good reasons. You can see that in the examples above. The verb is the most important word in any sentence and a sentence can exist as only one word, a verb. “Go,” is a sentence. So is “Stay.”

Study the multitude of English action verbs and communicate better. Look at all the sentences you have written, listen to what you are saying. See if you find, first, a person as subject and then an action verb in the active voice. Avoid nominals (verbs that have been turned into nouns and adjectives).

Know the properties of verbs: tense, number, person, voice, and mood. Prefer active voice verbs over passive voice verbs (they typically have a being verb in front of an action verbs, such as “was shot” or “has been delivered”). And, prefer the indicative and imperative moods (or modes) over the subjunctive mood. These latter verbs (subjunctive) include words like, “should, would, could, might, may.” Don’t use them. Take a stand. Be confident in your communications.

Story

OK, time to morph back to your teenage years. You were in middle school, grade 8, perhaps. You sat in a hot, stuffy classroom on the first day after summer vacation, and Mr. Biggles taught you language arts while you fidgeted in your desk and looked out the window at the beautiful end-of-summer day. Mr. Biggles reviewed the verb forms, specifically the English being verbs. You tried to avoid his gaze but he called on you, anyway, “Sara, can you name the eight State of Being verbs?” Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest, but you completed last night’s homework assignment and you named them easily: “Yes, Mr. Biggles: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, and been.” You nailed them! Mr. Biggles knew he could count on you!

So, now, a few years later, here’s this guy Ed Barr telling you to “Ditch the Being Verbs.” Yes, avoid them as main verbs in your sentences. Look, the English language contains many terrific action verbs. And, the English language is a pattern language. That is, we write sentences that typically conform to a few patterns. The Subject-Verb pattern is the most common. We also frequently write this pattern: Subject-Verb-Object. When we write that pattern, we always use an action verb because action is carried from a doer to a receiver.

We prefer action verbs in business writing because we almost exclusively write for action. In fact, we almost always communicate for action. We don’t write to the CEO or another executive to inquire after their state of being, as in, “Hi, CEO how are you?” CEOs want to know: “Why did you write to me? What do you want me to do? Why should I care?” In other words, what action are you proposing?

When you rely on being verbs, you often write sentences that look like this: “The implementation of the project specifications by the on-shore team is the responsibility of all parties in cooperation, that is, the off-shore team, the client and any other associated vendors.” The subject “implementation” matches to the verb “is.” In reality, the subject should be “all parties” and they should “implement” the project specifications. This latter combination of subject, action verb, and object makes the sentence easier to understand.

Can you ever use being verbs, you ask? Yes. If you look back through this tip, you see that I used a few. And, you often find yourself using them as helping verbs (auxiliary verbs) helping action verbs, as I was just saying. But remember, in business, we communicate for action. Whether you write an e-mail, a memo, or give a presentation, fill it with strong action verbs and you create the action you seek.

TIP #54

Prefer Active Voice

Too often in business, writer and speakers want to conceal the doer of an action, perhaps because they don’t want to assign blame, perhaps because they don’t want to reveal fault. In that case, they defer to passive voice. “The implementation of the project specifications has been delayed . . .” Well, who delayed it? Why did they delay it?

Use active voice so that readers don’t have to search for the “who,” the actors, or the “why” in your messages.

Application

Here are two sentences: The dog bit the man. The man was bitten by the dog. Which one uses active voice? You are right! The first one uses active voice. It also uses a sentence pattern called Subject-Verb-Object, one of the most common patterns in the English language. In this sentence pattern, the Subject does the action to an Object, simple, easy to follow. We know who’s responsible, the dog.

As we said, too many business writers use passive voice to conceal responsibility. For example, look again at this sentence: “The implementation of the project specifications has been delayed by the on-site team as a result of inconsistencies that have been found that could lead to errors in the final project delivery.”

How many times have you seen a sentence like that? Many, I believe. With passive voice at its core (“have been delayed” and “have been found”), it also uses weak verbs such as “implementation” and “delivery.” Business people use this kind of language for many reasons. Perhaps the corporate culture requires such language. Perhaps these writers served in specialized positions with specialized jargon far too long. Or, more insidious, perhaps they want to disguise responsibility. Who is delaying this project and why are they delaying it?

If you want to write with authority, use active voice with action verbs. Avoid passive voice (unless you don’t want the reader to know who did the action).

Story

We were talking about words having power. Now we talk about words losing power—in the passive voice.

Let’s take a look at some memorable and powerful words re-written, not in the active voice with the subject doing the action, but in the passive voice with the receiver of action in the subject position. Let’s begin with an easy one—the slogan of a brand name that will be quite familiar to you: Nike slogan (re-written in the passive voice): “It must be done by you!” Can you see that on billboards around America? Doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Just do it!”—does it? How about naming a movie, in the passive voice: “You are loved by me, man!” Doesn’t grab you? How about, “I love you, man.”

You may find your escape in movies while others find their escape in drugs. To them we suggest, “No, should be said by you to drugs!” That’s a lot for a bumper sticker, isn’t it? It will obviously work less well than, “Just say no to drugs,” which didn’t work that well, either.

But, it is good advice, isn’t it? “Just say no to drugs.” The subject is “you understood,” the action verbs is “say” and the object is “no.” Simple. Just like this time-honored good advice, “The consumption of an apple a day by you, and the doctor will be kept away by the apple.” Too passive for your taste? Me, too. I prefer the power of Subject-Action Verb-Object, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

If you are like the rest of us, we remember certain advertising slogans better than we remember important birthdays. Does anyone remember this slogan: “The Charmin must not be squeezed by you”? No? Well then, do you remember this popular McDonald’s message, “It is being loved by me”? No? How about this 80s McDonald’s slogan, “A break is deserved by you today”? I’m sure you don’t. It just doesn’t stimulate the way this active voice message did, “You deserve a break today,” which, by the way, has to be one of the best ad slogans of all time (who among us does not believe he or she deserves a break today).

Perhaps because we all want a break, we think less about what we might do for others. You may remember that John F. Kennedy asked us in his inaugural address to do something. In the passive voice I translate his inaugural request thus, “The question should not be asked what can be done for me by my country. The question should be asked what can be done by me for my country.” Does that inspire you?

One of the masters of inspiration, Martin Luther King, Jr., stood in front of the reflecting pool in Washington, DC, and told the world, “The mountain has been visited by me!” Wait, that wasn’t it, was it?! No, I think he said, “I’ve been to the mountain.” And, Winston Churchill motivating the British during WW II, said, “We will fight on the land, on the seas, in the towns . . .” When he wanted to move and inspire his audience, he used the active voice, as did JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr.

So, when you want your words to have force and power, use active voice. Remember, though, that passive voice has useful functions, especially to avoid confrontation. But, if you are testifying before a grand jury and you want your peers to believe you, don’t say, “Sexual relations with that woman were not had by me.” Even if it’s not true, you are better off using active voice!

A revealing little book by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, is titled Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. In their instructive book, Tavris and Aronson show us in the first pages how culprits—corporate and otherwise—use the passive voice to hide their responsibility or to hide the responsibilities of others.

For example, the book cites a statement by Henry Kissinger on the Viet Nam War, “Mistakes were quite possibly made by the administration in which I served.” Oh yeh, Henry, quite possibly about 58,000 mistakes. Also, the book cites Cardinal Edward Egan of New York discussing child molestation, “If, in hindsight, we also discover that mistakes may have been made ... I am deeply sorry.” Let’s not even go there.

Because we use business writing for action, I advise you to prefer the active voice—the subject does the action; the object receives the action. Prefer the active voice especially when you must admit your error.

TIP #55

You Can Use Passive Voice

But, passive voice has its purposes. For instance, it helps people avoid confrontation. You may want to write, “The report was not completed on time” as opposed to “You did not complete the report on time.” When you use the passive voice in that instance, the person who failed to complete the report will feel less threatened. Or, you may not want to name the doer of the action for fear of recrimination, ala, “The CEO was rumored to have been arrested at a previous job.” You don’t want to be named as the person who started that rumor.

Application

I said, you can use passive voice:

One other use of passive voice deserves a brief mention, the “objective passive” and scientists and students of science hold fast to it. They are told they must use passive voice to be “objective.” Instead of saying, “We performed a study of blood and its clotting factors,” they are more likely to say, “A study of the clotting factors of blood was conducted . . .” But, as Joseph Williams, a noted writing teacher from the University of Chicago, said, when scientists use the objective passive, they do not prove that the science was subjective, they only make the sentences reporting the science objective.

So, use the passive voice on these select few occasions, but prefer the active voice otherwise. Again, many people use passive voice because they do not want to accept responsibility.

Use passive voice carefully in your writing, but, in business, prefer active voice. Active voice will help you make yourself as clear and direct as possible.

Story

You often see news stories using the passive voice. For example, the news reported that “Pope John Paul II was shot by a Turkish national.” Obviously, they felt that the more important figure in that story was the Pope. If you look at some old news headlines, you find one that shocked the Beatles Nation, “John Lennon was shot and killed by Mark Chapman.” Again, Lennon was deemed the more important person in that story.

TIP #56

Use Transitional Devices When You Write and Speak

We use transition, of course, to aid the reader. Remember, we are trying to make understanding easier, not more difficult. To that end, we all learned several words and phrases for transition, that is, for bridging between parts of sentences and paragraphs, for making your writing smooth. We use words such as: consequently, therefore, as a result, in that manner, to continue, and so forth to create those bridges. You can readily find comprehensive lists of these on the Internet.

Application

You can search on Google and find many lists of transitional devices but here’s a good one from Purdue University’s OWL, Online Writing Lab.¹

To Add:

and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further, furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what’s more, moreover, in addition, first ( second, etc.)

To Compare:

whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, up against, balanced against, vis-à-vis, but, although, conversely, meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true

To Prove:

because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is

To Show Exception:

yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once in a while, sometimes

To Show Time:

immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later, previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then

To Repeat:

in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted

To Emphasize:

definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever, perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation

To Show Sequence:

first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then, following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward, subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this, simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then, soon

To Give an Example:

for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate

To Summarize or Conclude:

in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I have shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a result, consequently.

Story

OK, in the previous short paragraph, at the end you asked for action, permission to pursue an acquisition of XYZ Company. How will you begin the next paragraph? You must anchor to some piece of that previous paragraph. You might begin by discussing ABC Company’s interest in XYZ. Or, you might develop the information about XYZ’s market share or valuation. Certainly, you can begin the next paragraph by discussing your pursuit of the acquisition, the process you will use.

Obviously, “now” serves as a simple little transitional device. That little word does a big job!

TIP #57

Write Coherent Paragraphs

You learned a long time ago in primary school to write topic sentences for your paragraphs. Your English teacher told you to write a topic sentence, or a thesis sentence, and then write three sentences that support your topic sentence, or thesis sentence, and finally to summarize what you have said, and perhaps signal the next thesis. This formula offers good advice in business also.

Application

You couldn’t think of an easier or more logical way to write anything, a memo, a report, a novel. The thesis sentence must not always appear in the first sentence of the paragraph; it could be in the last. If you put it in the middle, you have a trickier situation.

Story

Here’s an example of a simple topic sentence at the beginning:

You can place that topic sentence at the end or even insert it in the middle. With every opportunity, use specific and measurable language and ask for action.

Once again, those of you who are paying close attention will see that some basics make this a good paragraph. The first sentence follows the BLUF Method, tell me immediately what you are doing. This is the topic or theme of this paragraph. The first sentence uses the S-V-O pattern with an action verb in the active voice. You could expect to see this paragraph in a news item about a merger between your company and XYZ Company. It gives an account of an action that can easily be built upon.

Western business cultures expect this kind of writing whereas Eastern business cultures prefer a deductive approach, one that lays out all the reasons and evidence before it recommends a conclusion. You must know your audience, in other words, and develop your presentation (written or spoken) for that audience.

TIP #58

Design Your Documents to be Easily Read

Imagine the worst wallpaper you have ever seen, red polka dots over dark purple stripes, too much going on. The busy design overwhelms your eyes. You have to look away. The same thing happens with too many words on a page. Big blocks of text overwhelm readers. But well-designed documents are not that way.

Application

When you create a document, make it inviting to read. How do you do this?

Use a technique called “chunking,” that is, break your writing into chunks, small pieces that a reader can easily digest. Create documents that executives can skim or scan. Create documents that look like the list I created above, easy to read using bullets and parallel structure.

Story

If you walk into any building on a university campus, you see bulletin boards. You see students’ announcements, tons of them. You see papers of all sizes and colors and you will be unable to focus on any of them, especially when you walk briskly by them on your way to a class. A rule for bulletin boards on campuses seems to be “Make them as messy, confusing and uninteresting as possible.” Many company bulletin boards in company break rooms contain the same problematic displays.

Why does this happen? Because people create fliers and posters with little regard for the design of their documents or the medium on which they appear. Most of the posters have some self-serving message or a bland headline, but their poor design hinders their effectiveness. The posters look as if the designers have attempted to pack a year’s worth of messages on an 8½ × 11 sheet of paper. Ultimately, no one looks at most of the fliers and posters because they don’t stand out on the very crowded bulletin boards. No one reads company bulletin boards where the policy and procedure papers collect dust and turn brown with age from inactivity. They are unread for the same reason as college fliers and posters; they show no benefit to the reader and they are designed to look like legal briefs.

Think about the person walking past your bulletin board. Think of an attention-grabbing headline and then give the message some white space, easy-to-read font, and a central image. You attract attention because you have a clear uncluttered message with a call to action. Readers receive and understand your message. If interested, they act on it.

TIP #59

Write Effective E-mail

Over 3 million e-mails are sent around the world every second.² Yes, you read that correctly, every second. 3 million, 3 million, 3 million, 3 million … Interestingly, most of them are SPAM. Busy execs of the world receive over 200 e-mails each day, mostly business related. And the average worker receives over 100 e-mails a day and spends 2.6 hours a day responding to the e-mails according to the Harvard Business Review.³ To break through that clutter with a message to an executive or a coworker, you need to write effective e-mail. If you understand the rules of communication and some techniques for writing effective e-mail, you can communicate effectively by e-mail.

Application

To write effective e-mail, you must:

As I said earlier, the human brain is a Cognitive Miser; it doesn’t want to deal with anything too familiar or outright boring. So, you need to disrupt the reptile part of the brain (the brain stem). You can do this with a question or with the word, “you” (or with the Imperative Mode).

Try this in your subject line; ask a question “Can we meet today?” or “Will you be attending the 11 am session?” Or, “Does the project we discussed last week have your approval?” Or, you might write this: “When will the team begin the project?” (I could go on for days with examples, but I’m sure you get it.) The bottom line is that questions elicit responses, answers, participation, whatever you want to call it. Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? How much? (Don’t you feel engaged already?)

Use the word “You” in the subject line: “You can save a worker’s life!” “You must approve the coding project.” I could also go on forever here, but, again, you get the picture. Closely related to this is the subject line that uses the imperative mode (and, of course, the word “you” understood). Examples include subject lines such as, “Vote for me and I’ll set you free” (I expect to hear that soon from some candidate). Or, “Send the project request forms ASAP.” Some high context people will feel awkward using imperative mode, or giving a direct command, but get used to it!

I know, these sound like Spam. But Spam works! Why would e-mailers send trillions of Spam messages every year if they didn’t work? I’m not suggesting you send empty business messages, but I am suggesting that you borrow from direct response technique to make your messages penetrate the reptile brain. SPAM works. Even when it pulls a 1 to 10 percent response, Spam users are making lots of money.

Story

I once worked in an organization where the marketing department and the finance department didn’t see eye to eye on everything. On one occasion, we in the marketing department wanted to create a branding video for a new Cancer Center at a cost of several thousand dollars. Because we had not budgeted for the video, we had to secure the approval of the finance department. To that end, I wrote the following message to the chief financial officer.

To: Chief Financial Officer

From: Chief Marketing Officer

Subject: We have an opportunity to do something great together

We write to ask you to approve funding for a new Cancer Center video at a cost of $15,000 and to authorize the transfer of funds to our cost center this week.

A you know, we will soon open our new Cancer Center. This center has projected an increase of over 50% more clients along with increased revenues of over 20%. To insure that all people in the service area know about the Cancer Center and its staff of nurses, physicians and support people, we have created an aggressive marketing campaign that includes advertising and support materials. To that end, we have recently decided to add an important tool, a video, to the marketing plan. This video was not originally budgeted for.

As you know, many people in the city suffer from the dread disease of cancer. Our new Cancer Center will do much to help alleviate the pain and suffering of these people and their families. This effort perfectly reflects our strategic initiatives and reflects our mission, to create a healthy community.

If you have any questions or would like to discuss this in person, I will make myself available to you at your convenience.

As you will see in my message, I gave the bottom line up front (we need money), addressed the finance officer’s interests (return on investment) and placed the request in the context of our business priorities and mission. Write this way and you will make things happen.

TIP #60

For E-mail, Write the Body, Write the Subject Line and Then Address It

Did you ever send an e-mail and wish you had it back? E-vidently it’s an e-pic problem (especially in higher e-ducation). We all send messages we wish we could call back. We wrote them in haste or in anger. We thought we were being funny, maybe, or we thought no one else would see the message. In the end, we suffered great e-mbarrassment! That doesn’t have to happen. Here’s a simple way to stop it, or at least slow it down.

Application

The next time you write an e-mail, write it this way:

Why do it this way? Seems backwards, right? First, if you address the message, you feel a greater compulsion to send it. In fact, you may even send it by mistake. Also, when you write the message first, you focus on the message and not on the person you feel the greatest anger (or other emotion) against. Then, after you have the message written, think about the theme of the message and the action you’d like the receiver to take. Put that in the subject line; see if it sums up the message. Now, address the message, if you still believe you want to send it. But ask yourself, what will this achieve and are there negative consequences? In many instances, you will decide to delete or deeply edit the message. Your anger dissipates after you have written the message and you realize sending it serves no real purpose.

Story

I once worked for an organization that espoused “human dignity” as a corporate value. Interestingly, the CEO sent me a nasty e-mail in response to one I had sent her outlining a business proposal. She stopped short of calling me an idiot but the message contained language I wouldn’t use with my worst enemy. To say that this message angered me would be a big understatement. I was really pissed. So, what did I do? I sent her a similar message.

In my message, I said that I would not accept that kind of language from someone who supposedly represented an organization that valued human dignity, especially the leader of the organization, who also represented a religious organization. I called the CEO uncouth, crude, and irresponsible, along with some other choice words.

I had followed my formula for writing the message first, then creating the subject line, and finally addressing it. I then put it in my drafts file and never sent it. Good thing I did. When writing an e-mail, a person should never write while angry.

TIP #61

Write a Powerful Cover Letter

Many organizations still like to receive a cover letter. The letter adds flesh to the skeleton of your resume. I say skeleton because it just shows the structure of your life and shows little if any of your personality. A friend in the banking business told me that when he receives a resume letter he goes right to the final section, to the “interests.” He knows that the people looking for jobs in Wall Street banks typically have the same backgrounds, the same course work, and the same internships. He wants to know what makes them different. He wants to know their personality. A cover letter can, and must, accomplish that, reveal your personality.

Application

Remember these rules about cover letters:

Story

Former COO of Squarespace, Jesse Hertzberg, released what he believed was one of the best cover letters he ever received. It was reviewed by a writer, Melanie Curtin, in INC Magazine. The cover letter begins this way,

“While reading the 15th February OregonLive article on the spin-up of Squarespace operations in Portland I was intrigued by the critical stance the COO took on potential office space. Then after scoffing at the ‘How to Apply’ section of the job posting, I let it percolate for a few hours then decided what the f---. Here goes:”

As it turns out, the full “F-word” was used more than once in the letter. I’m not going to go any further into the specifics of the letter here and if you want to read the whole letter you can easily find it via google. But, it is worth discussing as it points to some fundamentals regarding communication and job hunting.

For one thing, we all know and feel the pressures of our over- communicated society. We get the text messages, e-mails, tweets, WhatsApp messages, blog posts, weather reports, Skype messages, Messenger messages, WeChats, and so on. We live in an age when whoever controls attention controls the agenda. Indeed, at least one researcher has defined corporate strategy as “getting and keeping corporate attention.”

So, what’s a job hunter to do when 200–300 people are applying to an over-communicated hiring agent, the person who is getting 200 e-mails each day, along with those (mostly awful) cover letters and resumes? How can the job hunter expect to grab the reader’s attention? Drop an “F-bomb?”

I have been advising students for years that they must grab the reader’s attention. I have given them proven techniques for doing it. But, it’s not just job hunters who need to internalize this. Anyone who sends a message these days must understand that the human brain is built to ignore boring messages. You must break through the clutter and the Reptile Brain if you want to be noticed.

Curtin’s article says that the nasty letter works for three primary reasons: It is interesting; it focuses attention on Squarespace, and is grammatically perfect. I like those explanations. If you are boring, not interesting, you lose. If you talk about yourself too much, you are boring and, right, you lose. If you make stupid grammar errors, you look stupid and ... you lose. So, yes, I agree. But, there’s more at work here.

If you want the job that 300 other people want, you better show me quickly how you are differentiated from the mob and how that will help me achieve MY objectives, not yours. I don’t really care that you are looking for a job. I have a job that needs done. How can you do it best, while fitting in with the rest of the people in the organization? Tell me that ASAP ... after you have grabbed my attention.

Should you grab my attention with a four-letter word? Only if you know I’m the kind of guy who will appreciate the nervy-ness of such a tactic. However, the applicant often knows little or nothing about the potential employer who will read the communication. Using crude or inappropriate language is always a huge risk. Above all, you must know your audience. You must also be authentic. No way should you pretend to be someone else. Believe me, you will get tired of acting and they will see through you quickly.

Bottom line: You must attract attention. But, there are better ways to do it than vulgarity.

TIP #62

Make Your Resume Interesting

As I was on my way to class, a student brought me his resume and asked me to look at it. I did. I told him it looked like an obituary, something they’d write about him in the newspaper after he dropped dead. I told him his resume was one of the most boring I had ever seen. He told me forlornly that he was told to do it that way, just like everyone else. I told him that was a big problem because the world is over saturated with boring messages that clutter our minds and distract us. I told him he needs to cut through that clutter with a focused, and differentiating, message that promises some benefit to the reader.

“How do I do that?” he implored.

Application

I hate formats but I’m going to give you a loose one here. Format your resume like this:

You may have noticed that I did not begin with education. Look, everyone has one. It’s not differentiating. Actually, maybe you should consider not mentioning education. If the employer didn’t think you had one, that would be very differentiating and attention-getting. In any event, I began with your profile. Readers read resumes from the top down, so why would you wait to put the hottest words and brand names in the middle? What employers want to know is this: what can you do for us? Prove it by showing me what you have done for others and where you have done it. Everyone knows that some universities are more rigorous than others, but we all know that an academic performance doesn’t predict job success. Tell me at the top why I should hire you.

“You need to attract the reader’s attention,” I told my student, “and create interest and appeal. You need to show the employer quickly, how you can satisfy some need at his/her company. And, while you’re at it, you need to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack. The HR departments are getting 322 resumes for each job and you need to make yourself stick out.”

Story

I have received every imaginable kind of resume, ones on blue paper, ones designed in the shape of a paper airplane, and once, I even received a “singing resume.” Imagine that. A singer showed up for an interview, ahead of the candidate, asked to see me, and sang a very clever song about the virtues of the candidate. I was directing a marketing department at the time and was certainly interested in creativity and daring, and I loved the ingenuity of the singing resume, but the candidate wasn’t a good fit, as defined by the others in my department (I always ask my staff to interview all the candidates). The singer was good, the effort grabbed my attention, for sure, but the rest of the pieces weren’t there.

Meanwhile, the student asked me to expand on my formula. Here’s what I told him:

Write Your Profile

“You can start,” I said, “by writing, not your employment objective, which no one cares about, but a ‘Profile,’ a profile that says you are everything the employer has ever wanted in an employee.”

“How do I do that?” he implored.

“Simple,” I said. “Just write something like this: ‘An enthusiastic, energetic, self-motivated, CMU-educated engineer with corporate experience at Infosys and measurable outcomes in over 12 client applications that brought 31% improvements.’ Then, create a section called ‘Special Accomplishments’ and cite some of your more impressive accomplishments. But, make sure they are measurable, that is, show some proven outcomes from some projects you worked on, some results. When employers look at the results you’ve created for others, they translate them into results you will create for them.”

“How do I do that?” he implored.

Special Accomplishments

“Look,” I said, “this ain’t brain surgery. Take any of your experiences, preferably work experiences at Infosys, and talk about a 3% increase in volunteers, or a 4% increase in customer satisfaction, or a 7% increase in productivity. Surely you’ve worked on something, in college or at a job, that attempted to create some results.”

Use Marketing Thinking

He smiled. I thought he might be getting the picture, so I continued, “You need to think of finding a job as a marketing activity, that is, find out what the customer wants and provide it. Or, demonstrate clearly how you can provide it better than the competition, the other 321 people who applied for the same job. Think strategy. Think Michael Porter: be the cost leader, be different, or be focused.”

“How do I do that?” he implored. (I was beginning to think he only knew five words.)

“Use the key words that every employer looks for (managed, coordinated, developed, created, and so on), but add the results. And, in the ‘Work Experience’ section, instead of just writing that you were a coder for Infosys, talk about Infosys and its clients. Suppose they worked with IBM, BONY, Coca Cola, and other big brand names. If so, use those words in your resume. Each word carries associations that rub off on you when you use them. Don’t talk about yourself in this section; talk about Infosys, the $20 billion company.”

“Oh,” he said, the smile widening. I saw that he was beginning to get it.

So, I continued. “Look, these are words on a piece of paper. You can make them boring or interesting. It’s your call. You get to pick the words that represent your life, regardless of what anyone says. When you choose words with no life, you create an obituary. So, promote yourself as if you were a product. Labor over every word. Give your writing energy and life.”

I began to move away from him because I was expected at class, and I felt that I had enlightened him. As I walked down the hall, he hurried to catch up and stepped in front of me. “Will you look at my cover letter?” he asked.

“How do I do that?” I implored. “I have to go teach.” He looked downcast and I added with a smile, “But, come see me later. I have lots of opinions about cover letters!”

TIP #63

Make Your Cover Letters About Them

Just about every day I have students who ask me to look at their resumes and cover letters. I usually tell them two things about their cover letters: (1) Your cover letter is boring, (2) It talks too much about you. This hurts and puzzles them. Then I explain.

“Look,” I say, “you’re a great person, but no one really wants to hear about you. If you go down to the local pub and start telling some nice-looking lady or guy how wonderful you are, they’ll either pour a beer on your head or run away screaming. But, if you tell them how wonderful they are, watch their eyes light up. Watch them buy you a beer!”

Obviously if you approach someone without the right panache and sincerity, they might still dump a Miller Lite on your cranium. No one enjoys idle flattery. But they (we) never tire of hearing sincere compliments about ourselves. In the case of a cover letter (and a resume), the recipient wants to know how what you are saying will help them fill some need of theirs, not yours.

Application

This letter must show how you understand the needs of the company you are applying to and highlights the many successes you have had in your young life producing just the kind of outcomes the company requires. In other words, you write about them!

I tell my students that nothing they write is about them—cover letters, resumes, memos, e-mails, reports, RFP—none of it, not even a love letter (especially not a love letter). Anyone who receives a written message of any kind asks: (1) why did you write to me, (2) what do you want me to do, (3) why should I care? In other words, they are saying, “Tell me quickly how this message benefits me because I got 230 e-mail messages today, 72 IMs, 43 tweets, 61 telephone calls, 11 letters, and a partridge in a pear tree. I’m too busy to screw around.”

Story

This is doubly true for someone who is receiving 322 letters and resumes for one job opening. If your letter is one among the multitudes, you need to grab the reader’s attention and differentiate yourself, which you can do by writing an interesting cover letter and showing the reader that you understand his/her/the company’s needs.

The writing is not about the writer. Who is it about? The Audience. Right, always the audience! Or, as Peter Drucker said, “It is the recipient who communicates. The so-called communicator does not communicate. He utters. Unless there is someone who hears, there is only noise.” And, they ain’t gonna hear about you if all you talk about is yourself.

Don’t add to the noise. Know the reader’s needs. Connect with the reader. When you write your cover letter, put yourself inside the reader. Write from the reader’s point of view. Remember, whatever you write, “It ain’t about you!”

TIP #64

Stay Positive

Why be negative, anyway? You are young, you are intelligent, you have the whole world in front of you! Am I right? Can I get an “Amen?” So, why write in the negative? You will just confuse the readers and make them unhappy.

Take this sentence, for example: “The lack of dis-confirming evidence suggests that the results are not open to dispute, unless the absence of data from other investigations is taken as a negative factor.” Difficult, huh? I will bet you have to read it four or five times to figure out what it means. This sentence suffers from too many negatives: “dis-conforming,” “not,” “absence,” and “negative.” If you want anyone to understand it, you must re-write it from the positive while avoiding nominals, such as “lack.” (Send me your interpretation!)

Application

OK, that was tough. Let’s try an easier one: “It is not possible to reduce inflationary pressures when the federal government does not reduce its spending.” So here we have two negatives, both “not.” How can you say (or write) that sentence from the positive? It’s easier, right? How about this: “When the federal government reduces its spending (or spends less), inflation will decrease” (or something like that). By the way, start sentences with the main subject and avoid “It is . . .”

Good! You are getting positive. Let’s try another: “No one is precluded from participating in the cost-sharing educational programs without a full hearing into the reasons for his or her rejection.” Do you understand it on first reading? How do you make “No one is precluded” positive? Here’s a hint: ditch it! Use the active voice. Avoid nominals, such as “rejection.” Prefer “reject.” Give it a try! Also, read the Joseph Williams book “Style,” where you will see these and other examples.

Story

When bad writing happens, I find that writers are committing several errors: they are using passive voice, they are turning verbs into nouns (nominals) and they are using verb forms as subjects of sentences, such as “lack.” When you add a negative approach to these poor usages, you have a formula for crappy writing.

Let me give you one last example of bad writing, the negative way (courtesy of the government): “Elections in which there is no attempt at dealing with those issues which do not receive adequate attention during the time when no election campaigns are underway cannot serve the functions for which they were intended.” Have a go at that one! I will send a free book to the person who interprets it with the greatest simplicity and clarity.

Otherwise, my friends, stay positive! Life’s too short to be a negativist! Can I get another “Amen?” (Again, examples of negative sentences are courtesy of “Style” by Joseph Williams.)

TIP #65

Use Imperative Mode

“Write Something.” I have just used the imperative mode. I have written in the active voice. The subject “you” is understood. I command, “You, write something.” This device give power. You will feel compelled to write something!

Application

Americans use imperative mode, perhaps because we are imperious. We have no trouble giving orders; it’s a cultural thing. Often, using the imperative leads to conflicts in business, but we typically don’t realize it or even care. Some people use imperative mode less because, as a general rule, they prefer, first, to build relationships, not to break them, or not to seek power. These same people may also use qualifiers, such as “would, could, should, may, might.” You should write something. You could write something.

These same people probably also use the passive voice. Many people are not going to tell you, “You did not complete the project on time.” They will more likely say, “The project was not completed on time.” Passive voice. These same people won’t respond well to, “Write something.”

Story

The word “you” has incredible power. Advertisers have found the huge value in second person. Coke had an awesome ad campaign a few years back titled, “Open a Coke. Open happiness.” That, of course, is imperative mode. It’s saying (You) Open Coke. (You) Open happiness. So, look, if you want to get someone’s attention, use the imperative mode and active voice. Obviously if you use the word “you,” you will get attention. But, use this device carefully.

TIP #66

Use the Readability Tool in Word

Your Word software has a built-in “readability index.” To make use of this valuable tool, all you have to do is enable it, in the tools section. Then, when you spellcheck any document, your computer gives you a readability report after it indicates your spelling errors.

The readability index is based on the Flesch readability studies. The index measures the length of your words, sentences, and paragraphs, your use of multi-hyphen syllable words, and your use of passive voice. The tool suggests that most people read at a level between 8th and 11th grade and suggests, therefore, that if you want to reach most audiences, you need to use short words, short sentences, and short paragraphs. Also, because active voice is more direct, the index suggests that you prefer active voice over passive.

Application

I just highlighted the previous paragraph and reviewed it, first for spelling and grammar and then for readability. My computer told me, in a separate window, that I highlighted 133 words and eight sentences. It told me that each sentence averaged 16.6 words and that each word consisted of an average of 4.6 characters. My computer told me that the paragraph has 12 percent passive sentences and a reading ease of 64.6 at an 8.3 grade level.

This is all good news. I suggest limiting a paragraph to less than 10 sentences, if possible and using short, Anglo-Saxon words, as well as active voice, not passive.

Story

I copied and pasted into Word Barack Obama’s inauguration speech and his first report to Congress, just to see how he scored. These were speeches, of course, but they began as written documents; very few people speak extemporaneously these days, especially presidents who pay talented speechwriters.

So, how did Barack score on readability (think “understandability’)? He scored mid-8th grade in the inaugural address and mid-9th grade in the speech to Congress.

In contrast to many elected officials, Winston Churchill understood the need to use plain language. I scored his famous “we will fight on the seas ...” speech, the one he gave during WWII, and it scored mid-3rd grade level. Mid-3rd grade level! He certainly knew his audience! Both Obama and Churchill are known as great intellectuals, yet both chose to address their audiences on a level that communicated their message.

Great orators of English know that they need to use strong Anglo-Saxon words (the short kind) and short, crisp sentences. They know that they should avoid words from the Latin and Greek. You might enjoy writing to a coworker and saying, “You are sui generis.” Or, you might want to say to a relative, “Give up on being an omphaloskepsis,” just to show off your vocabulary, but you won’t make your point as well as if you had said, “You are one of a kind!” and “Get your nose out of your navel.”

The long words are for the academics and bureaucrats. Many academics write to impress each other and many bureaucrats write to conceal, not reveal. Long words (Latin and Greek words) help them. I encourage you to study the Greek and Latin origins of English to better understand the language, but avoid using the words, especially in business writing, in favor of their cousins, the Anglo-Saxons.

If you are not sure how your writing (and speaking) score, use the readability tool in Word. It’s fun and revealing!

 

¹ https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/mechanics/transitions_and_transitional_devices/transitional_devices.html

² https://campaignmonitor.com/blog/email-marketing/2019/05/shocking-truth-about-how-many-emails-sent/#:~:text=In%20regard%20to%20email%20sends,in%202021%2C%20according%20to%20Statista.

³ https://hbr.org/2019/01/how-to-spend-way-less-time-on-email-everyday#:~:text=We%20can’t%20help%20it,plan%2C%20the%20backlog%20keeps%20building