Thirty years ago, one of my teachers, Werner Erhard, said, “Health is a function of participation.” If this is true, you could say that the health of the conversation is a function of the circulation of energy, communication, and participation in the room. What stops the circulation of communication in the room are the personal firewalls in the space.
As the manager of the conversation, you want to create a safe space in which the participants will begin to lower their firewalls. This safe space is created by building rapport and common ground with the participants. Refer to chapter two, “Through the Firewall and Beyond,” to read about dismantling firewalls and building rapport in the room.
This chapter discusses the Art of Questioning, which can be a major tool for promoting participation. The definition of participation is to share. Often, presenters look at their presentations as a solo sport because they are in front of the audience by themselves. I would suggest you view presentations as a team sport. As the leader of the conversation, you want to be looking for opportunities to get the audience involved. You want the audience to get out of the grandstands and into the game.
Adult learning theory stresses the importance of audience involvement in the process. People will remember up to 85 percent of what they do and say. Therefore, a major part of the presenter’s success will depend on his or her ability to ask questions that get the audience to participate. And yet, the questioning skill level is low. IT presenters’ questions seem to fall into three categories: (1) “John, do you have a question?” (2) “Do you have a question, John?” or (3) “Any questions?”
There are two general categories of questions: open and closed. If you want to increase communication, ask open-ended questions. If you want to close down communication, ask closed questions. Most IT professionals ask closed questions to the audience and then wonder why people are not participating. But a presenter who only puts closed bait on the hook won’t catch much participation.
A closed question is a question that can be answered with a yes or a no or a short response. An open question is a question that can’t be answered with a yes or no. In developing your open questioning skills, start your sentences with the interrogatory pronouns what, why, or how. Sentences starting with these pronouns usually lead to an open response. For example:
• Ask “What are some of the challenges you are facing with your network?” (open) rather than “Are you having any problems with your network?” (closed)
• Ask “How are you going to address the customer’s concerns?” rather than “Are you going to address the customer’s concerns?”
• Ask “Why are the lead times for implementing this solution so long?” rather than “Are the lead times going to be long?”
There are three other interrogatory pronouns: who, where, and when. They usually don’t lead in an open direction because they are simply asking for a short response, i.e., Who? You. When? 3:00 P.M. Where? At the restaurant.
A closed question restricts the response. An open question expands the response. A skilled speaker listens for opportunities to promote audience participation because audience involvement means maximum retention. Why are IT professionals asking so many closed questions? Because in order to ask an open question, you need to assume that what you are asking for exists. For example, if you ask, “Do you see any benefits to upgrading your network?” you are not assuming that there are benefits. If you were assuming that there were benefits, you would phrase the question like this: “What are some of the benefits you would receive by upgrading your network?”
Another way to expand an open question even more is to add an s to the noun and change the verb to a plural—for example, “What is a benefit you see of employing Voice over IP?” You can make this more expansive by asking “What are some of the benefits you will receive by employing Voice over IP in your network?”
Let’s explore the five different types of oral questions you can ask the audience in order to promote participation.
Direct Question
A direct question is asked specifically to an individual and has these essential steps:
1. Name the person you want to answer the question.
2. Pause (for two seconds).
3. Ask the question.
The reason you pause for two seconds is you can’t assume that the individual you are addressing is paying attention. Calling out the person’s name restores his or her attention. Once that person’s attention is refocused on you, it will be easier for him or her to answer the question.
Direct questions are both the most common questions and among the worst questions to ask. Why? Because when the presenter calls on the participant, he or she is sitting behind a firewall, then is suddenly pulled out of this private domain and put on display in the public domain.
If the person does not know the answer, he or she may be embarrassed, which will lower rapport with the speaker. Therefore, if you are going to employ a direct question, you should have a high degree of confidence that the person will be able to answer the question. You never want to humiliate or embarrass someone in the room publicly unless it is a tactic to manage resistance.
In training sessions, I explain this by using a baseball analogy. When you pitch the ball to the batter (participant), you do not want him or her to strike out. You want a home run. In your presentation, when you ask a participant a question, you do not want a swing and a miss. You want the person to answer, which is equivalent to knocking it out of the ballpark. When people hit a home run they feel great, which reinforces their participation. If they miss and feel embarrassed, then they will pull back and not participate.
How do you know that they have enough knowledge in their database to answer the question? You could have learned about their level of knowledge during the connecting and gathering phase or during the introduction phase of the presentation.
Here’s an example of a direct question: “Tom, what does VPN stand for?” The answer is not a yes or no, but it is short, which places it in the close category.
Tony Robbins teaches a clever questioning technique you can use when someone responds with: “I don’t know,” and you think that he or she may know but is hesitant.
Say, “I know you don’t know but, if you did know, what would it be?” Surprisingly often, people will come up with the right answer.
Another time to use direct questions is with decision-makers. You want to know if they have any concerns that would stop them from moving forward with the sale.
If you see that someone looks confused, don’t embarrass him or her by saying, “I can see you are confused.” It is better to say, “Perhaps I didn’t explain this clearly enough; let me try again.” Now you are accepting responsibility for the lack of clarity and the person doesn’t feel stupid.
Time Bomb Question
A time bomb question is first posed to the entire group, and then you pick a member of the audience to answer it. This kind of question follows these essential steps:
1. Ask the question to the entire group.
2. Pause for up to five seconds.
3. Name the person you’ve selected to answer.
Example: “Why is it valuable to ask questions in a presentation? (pause) Mary?”
The ideal place to be standing when asking a time bomb question is in the power point of the room. Every room has a central focus point, which commands the maximum attention of the group. For example, in a U-shaped setup, the power point would be in the front center.
When you ask the time bomb question, make sure you scan the entire room and make eye contact with as many people as possible. That way they know you might call on them, so they will be sure to pay attention to the question. If you don’t look at them, they will not feel much psychological pressure to pay attention.
After you ask the question, be willing to wait five seconds before naming a person’s name. Although this seems a long period of time, you are giving the audience a chance to retrieve an answer from their database.
The next decision is who to call on. You want to call on a person in whom you have a high level of confidence in their ability to answer the question. How do you know?
• Who has a high level of expertise?
• Who has been participating in the conversation?
• Who is looking at you?
• Who is avoiding eye contact with you?
• Who is clearing his or her throat and preparing to talk?
After choosing the person, you may want to repeat the question to make sure he or she understands it. Also, you may want to temper the question by saying something like “George, do you have an idea?” or “George, take a shot at it.” You don’t want to say, “George, what is the answer?” Why? “Take a shot” and “Do you have an idea?” are forgiving and don’t require the exact answer. You want the person who is answering not to fail. By saying, “George, what is the answer?” it implies there is only one answer and if you don’t get it right, then you are wrong. Having people feel wrong in the presentation is not a good rapport-building strategy.
Overhead Question
This third type of question is also asked of the entire group. It hangs over the heads of the group and anyone can answer. You don’t call on anybody until someone volunteers. Once again, you need to be willing to wait up to five seconds for a response. Given that the vast majority of presenters do not control time, they will often call on someone before anyone raises a hand, which then turns it into a time bomb question. One indicator of your confidence as a speaker is your ability to control time. Waiting a full five seconds indicates you are the leader and you are not intimated by the space. Here are the essential steps of an overhead question:
1. First, get people’s attention and then give them the topic—for example: “I’d like to ask everyone a question regarding Voice over IP.” Just as in the time bomb question, you want to include everybody in the room with your visual scan. Also, by introducing the topic, it allows them a moment to access that folder in their database.
2. Next, ask the question and wait for a hand to go up—for example: “What is one benefit of Voice over IP versus PBX switching technology?” Once a hand is raised, call on that person.
Of all the questioning techniques I recommend, the overhead question is the one you want to master first. It does not put anyone on the spot and allows anyone to answer. You no longer have to choose people you think might know the answer because they volunteer themselves.
With both the time bomb and overhead questions, begin with a statement like: “Let me toss this out to the group” or “Let me ask the audience a question.” This preamble increases the probability of participation.
What if no one raises a hand? Here are several suggestions:
• Change it into a time bomb and call on someone. When you call on someone, lower the gradient of the question. Maybe the reason no one raised a hand was because the gradient was too steep. Consider this example: “What are the major benefits of Voice over IP versus PBX switching technology?” No one raises a hand. Then ask, “Mary, what do you think one benefit may be for Voice over IP versus voice through a PBX technology?” You call on Mary based on the criteria discussed in who to choose in a time bomb question.
• Lower the gradient by offering multiple choices—for example: “Do you think that Voice over IP costs more or costs less than voice over a PBX system?”
• Lower the gradient by giving them a fill-in-the-blank choice—for example: “If PBX is considered expensive, then Voice over IP must be considered _________________?” This may seem a very easy answer and it should be. The purpose is to remove a brick from the audience’s firewall, which builds rapport and increases their feeling of safety in the space. You are not interested in having a person unable to answer the question. Once the person has successfully answered this first question, you could ask a second question in which the gradient is steeper. Why? Because this keeps the energy flowing in the space.
• If no one raises a hand, another option is to answer the question yourself. However, this would be the last option because it defeats the whole purpose of audience interaction.
Relay Question
A person in the audience raises a hand and asks a question. The presenter doesn’t answer the question but instead relays it back to the audience. This affords the speaker an opportunity to tap into the group database. Here are the essential steps of a relay question:
1. A member of the audience asks the speaker a question.
2. The speaker probes for clarity by duplicating the question.
As the manager of the conversation, you are responsible for clarity in the room. Probing for clarity is a technique to create a clear space for communication. When someone asks a question, you repeat it back to him or her. You can repeat the communication using any combination of words, voice tones, video gestures, and mass. These techniques are described in chapter one, on wireless packet delivery. This is a fundamental listening skill that you need to master if you want to be an outstanding communicator.
There are a variety of benefits of re-creating the question in this way:
• It avoids making assumptions. An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true without proof. As a presenter, there is no benefit to making assumptions about what another person is intending to communicate.
• Re-creating another person’s communication demonstrates to the entire audience that you are a great listener.
• Re-creating the other person’s communication gives that person the feeling of being known. Re-creation will differentiate you from the vast majority of other IT presenters, who are so focused on the data that they have little connection to the audience.
Here’s an example of re-creating and probing for clarity: A person in the audience asks, “Why is security necessary in my network?”
The speaker responds, “Let me see if I understand what you are asking. You currently have a network in your company and you want to know why it is necessary to secure it? Is that correct?”
The questioner responds, “Yes, that is exactly my question.”
The speaker now has a sure understanding of the question. Next, based on the three types of questions already discussed, the speaker has three options on how to relay this question. He can relay it using a direct question, a time bomb question, or an overhead question:
• Example of a relay direct question (Name/pause/question): “Abdul, what is one reason to secure a network?”
• Example of a relay time bomb question (Question/pause/name): “What do you think one reason would be for securing a network? Abdul?”
• Example of a relay overhead question (Ask the question to the group and wait until someone raises a hand): “Let me ask Raina’s question to the whole group. What do you think one benefit would be of having a secure network?”
One common questioning mistake often made in presentations is when someone in the front row asks a question and the presenter does not broadcast the question to the entire group. Therefore, people in the back row may not have heard the question and so have no context for understanding the presenter’s answer. If there is any doubt, always announce the question to the entire group before answering.
Relay questions are seldom seen in IT presentations. If you ask an IT professional what do they do when someone in the audience asks them a question, they say, “I answer the question.” Answering questions from the audience is not a bad thing, especially in the beginning of the presentation when you want to establish your credibility. However, it is a problem if the IT professional never relays a question. Answering every single question means no one else gets to participate. To promote participation, look for opportunities to involve members of the audience, such as by relaying questions to another person.
It’s especially important to relay questions to people who have superior knowledge of the subject. By giving them an opportunity to contribute, they will feel part of the conversation, which builds rapport with the speaker. And, as I mentioned in chapter five, “Managing Resistance,” if they feel part of the conversation, they are less likely to attack the conversation because to attack the conversation would be to attack themselves.
Some presenters may be uncomfortable if there are people in the room who have more knowledge of the subject than they do. Why? They fear making a mistake and being publicly embarrassed. So, when asked a question that they can answer, they make the mistake of not relaying it to knowledgeable audience members and answering it themselves. I recommend letting these knowledgeable people contribute. If they are excluded from the conversation, later on in the presentation they may raise a hand and say something like: “Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but the slide you are showing us is inaccurate and had you read the white paper I wrote for the international Internet symposium in Zurich, Switzerland, last year, you would know this is misleading information.” This negative reaction probably could have been avoided if the presenter had included the expert on the subject matter in the conversation.
If the purpose of the conversation is to expand people’s understanding of the subject matter, having knowledgeable people in the room is an asset, not a liability. As the manager of the conversation, you want to take advantage of all the knowledge in the room.
Think of presenting as a team sport rather than as an individual one. Get the people involved. If you do an effective job of audience involvement, you will know more about the subject matter at the end of the presentation than you did at the beginning because you have let people contribute thoughts from their database of knowledge that may be brand new to you.
Reverse Question
The final type of question is useful when a member of the audience asks the speaker a question and the speaker answers back with a question. This allows the audience member to find the answer him or herself. The speaker’s goal should be to avoid telling the audience information that could have easily been pulled from the database in the room.
Ask, don’t tell is a proven teaching technique. Asking questions that guide a person to discover the answer is called the Socratic Method. When students came to Socrates and asked a question, he would ask them a series of questions that would cause them to discover the answer within themselves.
There are two criteria for determining if a reverse question is appropriate: Does the person want to be coached? Does the speaker know the answer? The speaker is going to work individually with the person who asked the question and guide him or her to the answer. If the person is not interested in being coached, reversing the question would be inappropriate. Coaching like this is often more appropriate in a training/educational conversation where participants are eager to learn. In this situation, getting individual coaching from the leader is greeted as a wonderful opportunity to get direct input from the subject matter expert.
The speaker needs to know the answer in order to guide the questioner to discover the answer. If you don’t know the answer, you should go ahead and relay the question to the audience using the direct, time bomb, or overhead techniques.
There’s also another important criterion for the use of a reverse question: Is there enough time left in the presentation? A reverse question can take several minutes, so you need to manage your time in order to accomplish all your objectives.
Another factor in deciding to use a reverse question or address any question during the presentation is whether the question being asked is “on purpose” or “off purpose.” An on-purpose question is directly related to the purpose of the conversation. For example, if the purpose of the conversation is to discuss network security, questions within the context of security would be on purpose and questions on storage, voice, or video would be off purpose. This ability to distinguish on-purpose from off-purpose questions quickly is important because you do not want to lose the attention of the participants by taking time to answer a question that may be a distraction from the declared purpose of the conversation.
However, there are situations where it may be totally appropriate to answer an off-purpose question. For example, if the final decision-maker asks a question that is not directly related to the purpose, it might be very prudent to be flexible and answer the question. You don’t want to do anything that may offend the decision-maker.
For those readers involved in sales, remember that the presentation is just one move in the chess game to close the current business opportunity as well as future business opportunities in years to come. The sale’s purpose is to close business. For example, let’s say that during the presentation, the customer indicates he or she is ready to sign the purchase order. Even though you are only halfway through the presentation, stop and sign the PO. Or imagine the decision-maker starts talking about his or her son who plays football. This has nothing to do with the network security presentation but everything to do with building a long-term relationship with the customer. Listen and respond in kind. Flexibility is key to interacting with the audience. Yes, you want to follow your agenda but not to the point of excluding other people from the conversation.
Here are the steps involved in a reverse question:
1. Someone in the audience asks a question.
2. Probe for clarity. Re-create the question and get the participant to the yes space.
In probing for clarity, you are gathering information that will allow you to make a decision about the direction of the conversation. In this instance, you decide to reverse the question. After probing for clarity and being clear on the question, you say something like: “Okay, I now understand your question. Thank you. Do you mind if I ask you some questions first?”
The response to this question is almost always “Sure, I don’t mind.”
Your phrasing of this question is critical because the person has now given you permission to enter into his or her world. There was no pushback with the person saying something like: “No, I asked you the question.” Using the word first implies the word second, which makes the person assume you will answer the question after you have asked your own question first. However, it almost never comes back to you because you are able to guide the person to the answer. You have become Socrates by guiding the person to the answer through your coaching questions.
Consider this useful analogy: You are a lawyer in a court of law and you are cross-examining the witness on the stand. Your questions are often closed, requiring very short answers. You are not leading the witness by putting words into his or her mouth. You want the witness to discover the answer on his or her own. The following dialog illustrates the reverse questioning technique.
PARTICIPANT: Why should I invest in a solution that secures my network?
PRESENTER: Let me see if I understand your question. You want to know what your benefits will be if you invest in a solution that will secure your network? Is that correct?
PARTICIPANT: Yes, that’s exactly what I want to know.
PRESENTER: Okay. Do you mind if I ask you some questions first?
PARTICIPANT: Sure, I don’t mind.
PRESENTER: What type of business are you in?
PARTICIPANT: I am involved in the pharmaceutical business.
PRESENTER: Good. Do you have a network now?
PARTICIPANT: Yes.
PRESENTER: What are the major components?
PARTICIPANT: I have a central office here in New York with five satellite offices in Chicago, San Francisco, Dubai, London, and Hong Kong. Here in New York, we have our core router, servers, and data center and network storage. In each of the remote locations, we have local area networks consisting of about twenty routers linked to New York via fiber.
As the participant is describing the network, the presenter walks over to the tabletop and begins to use mass to re-create the participant’s communication. The presenter uses physical objects on the tabletop to represent New York, core router, servers, data center, network storage, remote locations with their routers, and the fiber connection back to New York.
One of the barriers that prevent people from understanding is lack of mass. Through the use of mass, the participant realizes that you understand his or her communication.
PRESENTER: So, this accurately describes how your network is set up? Correct?
PARTICIPANT: Yes.
PRESENTER: So, do you have valuable data stored in your network that you would not want your competitors to know about?
PARTICIPANT: Yes.
PRESENTER: What type of data?
PARTICIPANT: Well, we have financial results, drug development research, and personnel records.
PRESENTER: What are you currently doing to protect those valuable assets?
PARTICIPANT: You need a password to get on the system.
PRESENTER: Okay, so the level of security you are currently using is password protection. Correct?
PARTICIPANT: Yes.
PRESENTER: Are you aware that sophisticated hackers can get by passwords in less than five minutes?
PARTICIPANT: No, I didn’t know that.
PRESENTER: Are you aware that 80 percent of network attacks come from within the organization and not from outside the organization?
PARTICIPANT: I didn’t know that either. I thought the attacks always came from outside the network. I can now see why increasing the security level on my network is very important. Thank you for your help.
PRESENTER: You’re welcome.
That example illustrates a complex form of a reverse question. Reverse questions can also be simple, like this one:
PARTICIPANT: Why should I secure my network?
PRESENTER: Let me see if I understand. You currently have a network and you want to know the benefits of securing it from attacks? Correct?
PARTICIPANT: Yes.
PRESENTER: Okay, why are network managers so concerned about securing their networks?
PARTICIPANT: Because the data within their organization is a valuable asset.
PRESENTER: Sounds like a very good answer to me. Good work. Does that help?
PARTICIPANT: Yes, thank you.
Rhetorical Question
A rhetorical question doesn’t promote participation. It is a figure of speech asked merely for effect. No answer is expected. Rhetorical questions can be used to stimulate thought, make a point, relax the audience, or create humor.
Here are a few examples of rhetorical questions: “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” “Is the Pope Catholic?” “Does rain come down?” “Does the sun set in the west?” “Can anyone look at the record of this Administration and say, ‘Well done’?” An old Dial soap commercial also used rhetorical questions: “Aren’t you glad you use Dial? Don’t you wish everybody did?”
This completes the five types of interactive questions plus a short description of rhetorical questions. I want to conclude by discussing how to promote participation and be more skillful at playing the participation game.
In my experience, the most critical factor in promoting participation is to create a safe space in the room by dismantling the firewalls and building rapport in the room. The safer the space, the more people will participate.
People are loath to be seen making mistakes. If they are willing to risk participating, you must always reinforce their participation. You want to be sure they are willing to participate and, secondly, that their answer will be correct. Never say things like this to participants: “That is wrong.” “Poor answer.” “Not even close.” This publicly embarrasses them and doesn’t enhance the creation of a safe space.
If the answer you receive is not correct or not the one you are looking for, use an alternative approach. Consider the old saying: A student who fails to learn is a teacher who fails to teach. Maybe you bear some responsibility for the wrong answer. Your job is to make lemonade out of the lemons.
Probe for clarity to make sure you are clear on the participant’s response. Reverse the answer back to the participant using mass. Maybe he or she will find another acceptable answer. Or you could say, “That is a possibility. Who else has an idea?” This takes the focus off that person and shifts the spotlight onto someone else.
When you connect to the next person, rephrase the question and lower the gradient. Maybe the question you asked was too difficult. Often, presenters who are in Data Land ask questions that do not have sufficient thought behind them.
Always be positive; keep the interaction light and playful. Give hints; play a game that leads the group in the direction you want to go. For example, “The answer I am looking for starts with the letter a.” I have never had an audience complain when I created a light, playful environment.
Rephrase the question by using the fill-in-the-blank technique: “You could look at the benefits of Voice over IP as increasing customer satisfaction while at the same time reducing ___________.” (costs) Or rephrase a question by using a multiple-choice answer, like this: “There are two sources of attacks on the network—external and internal. Which do you think is more likely?” (internal)
The Participation Game
Getting people to participate in the conversation is an art form and involves many factors. For example, what is the attachment of the audience to the conversation? Are they for or against the conversation? Has the purpose of the conversation been clearly explained? What have you done to massage the space by increasing rapport, relationships, and common ground with the audience? Are you trained in the five different types of questions?
The following is an example of the Art of Participation using many of these questioning techniques:
“How many of you have heard of a router?” (overhead)
Many hands go up.
“Good, George, thanks for raising your hand. What is one thing you have heard about a router?”
“A router is an intelligent network device.”
“Excellent! What do we mean by an intelligence network device . . . Mary?” (time bomb)
“Intelligence could be defined as a Level 3 device in the OSI model.”
“Very good. What does OSI stand for?” (overhead)
Richard raises his hand.
“Yes, Richard?”
“Open Systems Interconnection.”
“Excellent. How many layers are there in the OSI model?” (overhead)
Harry raises his hand.
“Yes, Harry?”
“There are six layers in the OSI model.”
“Harry says there are six layers. That is very close. There are actually _______________________?” (fill in the blank)
Martin jumps in and says he believes there are seven layers in the OSI model.
“Okay. Let’s see if we can name the first three layers.”
“What is the first layer?” (overhead)
Harry says, “The physical layer.”
“Okay, what do we mean by the physical layer?” (overhead)
Susan raises her hand.
“Yes, Susan?”
“The physical layer defines all the electrical and physical specifications for devices.”
“Would the layout of the pins and voltages be an example of the physical layer, George?” (time bomb)
George says, “Yes.”
“Peter, what would be the second layer in the OSI model?” (direct)
Peter says, “I believe it is called the data link layer? Is that right?”
“Okay, Peter believes the second layer is called the data link layer. What does the group think?” (overhead)
Mary raises her hand and says she thinks that is right.
“Very good.”
Peter raises his hand.
“Yes, Peter, do you have a question?”
“Does the MAC address occur at Layer 3 or Layer 2?”
“Okay, Peter wants to know where the MAC address is located? First of all, what does MAC stand for? Richard?” (time bomb)
“MAC stands for Media Access Control.”
“Okay, where does the MAC address occur, Wolfgang?” (time bomb)
Wolfgang thinks that the MAC address occurs at Layer 2.
“Great, does that answer your question, Peter?”
Peter says, “Yes, thank you.”
“So, going back to the data link layer. What goes on at the data link layer?” (overhead)
“Yes, Barbara?”
“The data link provides data transfer across the physical link; it is analogous to social interaction in that one needs to be able to talk to Bob to get a message to Fred or James.”
“At the data link layer, would you find switches or routers?” (overhead/multiple choice)
Alan raises his hand.
“Yes, Alan?”
“You would find switches at Layer 2 and routers at Layer 3.”
“Very good. Alan, what is Layer 3 of the OSI model called?”
“It is called the network layer and is responsible for end-to-end packet delivery, whereas the data link layer is responsible for node-to-node packet delivery.”
“Excellent! So a router is a Layer 3 device that is responsible for the end-to-end packet delivery. Now let’s move on to the next subject.”
In this question-and-answer scenario, an understanding of the topic was facilitated through several different techniques.
The health of the conversation is a function of the flow of communication in the room. A presenter should always be looking for opportunities to have the audience participate. The greater the rapport, the greater the amount of communication. However, if you have undelivered communication, the rapport in the room goes down. What does undelivered communication mean? I have used the analogy of building rapport by pulling bricks out of the fire-wall. The more bricks you pull, the more open the space in the room becomes. However, the opposite is also true. If something happens in the room and a participant decides not to communicate, then a brick is put back into the wall. For example, in a training session I did in London, I used a tennis ball as a prop to represent a communication packet. From time to time, I would toss the ball to the participants. At the end of the training, I heard from the manager that one of the two women in the class was upset because I never tossed the ball to her; therefore, I must be sexist. Although I was not aware that I had not thrown her the ball, her communication about me was withheld from the conversation and therefore remained a brick in the wall.
Finally, here are six additional coaching tips to expand your ability to get the audience to participate:
1. Realize that you are there not only to educate the audience but also to be educated by the audience. Sometimes, people in the room might know more about the subject than you do.
2. A question has the power to control the focus of participants. If I asked you, “What are some of the things you enjoy about reading this book?” you would go to your internal database and open the folder called enjoyable things about this book. You would not go to the folder called what I didn’t like about this book. Knowing this, you can better guide the audience in the direction you want the conversation to go.
3. When you call out a person’s name, take a step or two toward that person. This movement suggests that you are interested.
4. When duplicating the other person’s communication, end the sentence with a question mark rather than a period. This gives the person asking the question more flexibility in correcting your duplication. Why? Because you are creating a safe space in the communication exchange for the person to say either “Yes, that is exactly what I said” or “No, that is not quite what I mean.” Just as a politician wants to avoid taking a position because it may offend a certain block of voters, the presenter wants to make the customer feel comfortable in correcting any misunderstanding.
5. In working with the questioner, use mass to clarify the communication. Mass adds depth to the understanding.
6. In the participation game, always be open-minded. When you hear something that doesn’t match your understanding, probe for clarity rather than automatically assuming it is not accurate. This avoids shutting down the conversation but instead keeps it open and spacious. Giving the other person space is an act of love and compassion, which is a fundamental pillar of rapport.
This completes the chapter on The Art of Questioning.