PILLAR 8
Realizing Someone Else’s Mentality Isn’t Your Reality
In Pillar 8, I want to give you permission to supersize your goal. If you are like most people, you have pushed yourself to the understanding and thinking that more is possible. If your goal doesn’t scare you, if it doesn’t make people criticize you for what you think is possible, then it probably isn’t big enough.
Let me give you an example from my own life. When I was 23 and about to get married, my mother-in-law-to-be moved into a brand-new, two-story house. I saw firsthand where my fiancée was living, and I knew for a fact that I did not want to carry her over the threshold of a house that was smaller and older than the one she had just left. For some unnecessary reason, I felt obligated to maintain my future wife’s lifestyle by taking her from one brand-new, two-story home to a new two-story home built from scratch and never lived in. My vision was honorable, but in reality, my thinking was a bit out there, to say the least. However, anyone who knows me knows that once I have a vision, I am pretty much wired to make it happen by any means necessary.
It was early 1998, only six months before our wedding day, and I had just turned 23 years old. I was sitting at my future mother-in-law’s kitchen table with her husband, and she looked at me when I told her my plan, then sighed and said, “Johnny. This is not a starter home. This is not realistic. You need to do what everyone else does. You are getting married. Be realistic. Get a starter home.” As I listened to her, my whole body just slumped. All the hopefulness and excitement left my face. I was crushed. I wanted to do something amazing for her daughter. I wanted to impress her daughter and her family. And the very person who motivated me to do this was now telling me that it wasn’t realistic.
I want you to listen to me carefully: someone else’s mentality has nothing to do with your reality. The house I wanted to give my wife wasn’t an illusion. It was my vision. In my mind, it was already a reality for me. But the fact that it was my reality also meant that it was my responsibility to make it happen. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not criticizing my mother-in-law. I love her. And she loves me. Her words didn’t come from a place of malice but of love and concern. She was simply acting based on her reality, not mine.
Your vision is for you and you only. You don’t need to waste your time convincing other people that it is sane or realistic or doable. You know it is doable because you have every intention of doing it. Someone else’s opinion of your vision has nothing to do with your reality. You cannot make it your problem when someone else comes along and tells you that you are reaching too high, that you are crazy for wanting what you want, that you are going to regret this, or that they will never forgive you for leaving them behind.
Just as the state of Texas did for my insurance license, my mother-in-law didn’t piss me off by telling me I couldn’t do something. She pissed me on because she made my desire that much stronger to build that house. She made me realize that no one is qualified to push my vision into reality except me. So here is what I did: just like the settlers of Jericho, I walked around the land seven times, claiming this land as my own. People were watching, people were whispering, but I didn’t care. I was declaring my vision, and no one could convince me that it wasn’t going to happen.
Guess what? I got the land. I built the house. And I still own it today. In fact, when my wife and I moved into a house twice the size of that first house, I gave that house to my mother, where she and my stepfather, Tim, live today. Then, in 2016, my wife Crystal and I bought my mother-in-law—the same person who told me it was unrealistic to have a new, two-story house at the age of 23—her own brand-new, two-story house that she lives in to this day. Eventually those houses will be passed on to my daughters and son, who will become second-generation millionaires.
I was never upset at my mother-in-law. I wasn’t upset at the doubt she was throwing at me. I simply didn’t allow her vision to become my vision. Because it was my responsibility to push my vision into action. I had to participate in my own rescue. That goes the same for you.
The point that I want you to take away from the story is that even people who love you will try to limit your vision to protect you. They are not necessarily coming from a place of ill will. They’re coming from a place of genuine love. You cannot allow even genuine love from people only trying to protect you to ultimately hold you back from your vision that you have for yourself. Never allow others to create your world for you because they will always create it too small. It is your responsibility alone to know how great your vision is, and it is your responsibility to bust your ass until it becomes a true manifestation.
You are going to run into a lot of people in your life who may try to stop you from doing what you know is best for you. They will try and say that you are reaching too high, or trying too hard, or that you will fall flat on your face and end up lower than you are now. It is going to be hard to hear that, especially from people you love.
When you find yourself in one of these conversations, I want you to do the following:
1. Remember, other people’s opinion of you should never dictate your reality. Their personal beliefs cannot become your limited realities. Disqualify anyone’s words that contradict your personal beliefs and where you are headed.
2. Don’t make them the enemy. Make their words your fuel. I believe Frank Sinatra when he said revenge is all out massive success. Your naysayers should be shut up by your moving up, not by your speaking up.
3. Establish your WHY in everything you set out to do and accomplish. Make sure that your WHY is greater than you. When the purpose is a greater than you yourself, it is more likely that you will never walk away from it. Someone’s no will not interrupt your WHY if your WHY is rooted in greatness and a purpose that benefits others beyond you. Attach your goals to a purpose.
4. Force yourself to constantly be surrounded around empowering information (like this book). This is especially important when you are in the midst of moving toward your greatness. The music determines the dance. Any person, place, or thing that you allow to interrupt your inner music can be catastrophic to your purpose. We will discuss this later in the book in great detail.
Saying, doing, and thinking these things will ensure that the others’ mentality isn’t changing your reality. Focus on your vision and purpose, and disqualify any voice that confuses either. All your creativity and energy must be aimed toward your purpose. Shut them up with action and success, not a response, and stand firm and be extremely laser focused on your WHY. Be prepared by filling yourself up with positive reinforcements and voices that empower you from the inside out. Empower zero voices to interrupt your destiny. Make sure that you are always focused on your vision for yourself, not on what others may see when they look at you. It is the only way you will continue to participate in your own rescue. If you let others dictate what you do, you have already strayed from your path forward.
Not only do I expect this mentality for myself, I expect it for those around me. Even the ones I look up to. Especially the ones I look up to. In 2018, I decided I wanted to expand my business. In late June 2018, I launched Wimbrey Training Systems away from my home for the first time since we launched in 2006. I already had created multimillion-dollar businesses, but I wanted to create a legacy company. I knew it was time to set up shop in an office, hire a staff, and start expanding outward.
When I realized that this was what I wanted, I knew I didn’t need someone to just run my team. I needed someone who would be a true partner. So I went to visit my friend Derek Williams. Derek and I have known each other for decades. I have gone to him for advice, support, and comfort more times than I can even remember. I knew he would give it to me straight.
To me, Derek has always been the picture of success. He was an executive at Johnson & Johnson for years. When I was a teenager, he was my first exposure to success—always the classic sitcom dad. He was the first person to take me to New York City. He was the first person to take me to Hawaii. I saw my first bit of luxury with Derek. I looked up to him. When we were teenagers, my friends and I would go to his house and dream build; being around him would just stretch my mind. I knew talking to him would help me through this transition. After talking about what I wanted to do, we decided to work together. I needed Derek as my right-hand man.
Derek and I chose our new office building together. He was nervous about going so big right off the bat, but I had faith in him, and us. We took the largest office in the entire building, and within our first two weeks, we were profitable. Within our first 90 days, we were profitable beyond a year’s worth of production. Just as Derek used to stretch me—to get me outside of my comfort zone, forcing me to see beyond my abilities—now I had the chance to do the exact same thing for him. I didn’t want him to be constrained by what he thought was “reasonable.” I wanted him to be fearful of the risk we were taking when we signed the lease, but I wanted that fear to motivate him to take more risks—and it did. He regrew his faith muscle the day we agreed to take that office. He gained faith in himself, faith in my company, and faith that creating his own reality outside of others’ mentalities was the only way to be successful.
ACTION STEP
Remember how I wanted you to find one person to hold you accountable? Here, I want you to take it up several notches. I want you to take the huge step and the enormous risk of sharing your goal—sharing your vision—with as many people as you can. Here’s the catch: I want you to tell enough people that some of them start trying to discourage you. If you’re lucky, the people who love you the most and are closest to you will be the ones who cast the most doubt on your dreams.
“That’s crazy, Johnny,” you may say. “Why would you want that for me?” I don’t want you to suffer, but I want to piss you on. I want you to exercise your faith muscle, that essential key in your character for becoming a first-generation millionaire. I need someone to say, “No, it won’t work.” I need people you care about, people who care about you, to try to destroy your vision. Not because they don’t love you; in fact, they are likely to say these things to protect you. But I want you to feel that pain because you have to understand on a personal and emotional level that other people’s mentality cannot become your reality. You cannot handle all this nay-saying if you don’t have faith in your dream. Use these negative opinions to build up that faith and strengthen your character.
You are just starting out. If you can’t handle the doubt, the rejection, and the naysayers at this stage in the game, there is no way you will succeed in becoming a first-generation millionaire. You will hear more nos all the way to the top, and the stakes will just get higher and higher. Now is the time to learn how to make sure that they don’t interfere with what you want and how you work toward your goals.
PILLAR 8