She was correct. It is a metaphor for that, and more. People who manage by a pitchfork are doing so with a heavy hand: demanding progress, forcing accountability, prodding and pushing for results through the use of consequence, threats, scarcity, and fear tactics. This style of management is painful for salespeople who are put in a position where they are pushed to avoid consequences rather than pulled toward a desired goal.

Given the shocking statistic I shared with you in the last chapter, the question now becomes, Why are companies incurring such a high cost from a failure to leverage each person’s full talents and potential, especially since this cost could be avoided if the manager were better trained to become an effective leader and coach? Because all too often, management doesn’t see the problem. They don’t accurately diagnose the source of the problem—themselves. Too often, management is quick to blame the failure to achieve their strategic goals on the inability to attract new and better talent, a tough labor pool, a downturn in the economy, a rise in operational costs, a surge in competition, a shortage of resources, and an increase of their daily responsibilities and duties. Some of these things may be contributing factors, but the real issue that prevents salespeople from living up to their fullest potential has everything to do with the tactics managers use to motivate and empower them.

Empower means “to give strength or power to.” Ironically, instead of giving power, managers do the opposite: They take power away from their salespeople, even though they don’t intend to.

There are many ways to empower people, and one of them is through effective delegation. It’s empowering for the person you’re delegating to because it demonstrates the trust and respect you have for them and in their abilities. Managers also attempt to motivate their people by providing incentives, setting goals, acknowledging top producers, even using consequences or threats.

Managers use these tactics in an attempt to stimulate some level of interest and forward movement from their staff. And when all else fails, managers often try to coerce or push them into action. The question is, how much time do you invest in motivating your staff through empowerment?

Often managers spend time pushing people into action when trying to get them to perform. It’s like you are pushing something uphill, right? And you can certainly feel the resistance. As a result, when you stop motivating or pushing your staff, think about what happens. They stop moving and the momentum that was there comes to a screeching halt because it’s no longer being fueled by you.

Your staff is no longer being motivated by an external force and therefore slips back into their old ways. When that external stimulation is no longer present, people have a tendency to revert back into their old habits. All momentum is lost unless someone is there to push them.

Now, your model of motivation may work at some level but how do you feel after continually having to push and motivate your staff? Tired, drained, frustrated, exhausted.

The biggest difference between traditional management and coaching is their philosophy of how to motivate or empower people, which you may find to be a bit counterintuitive. You see, there’s a paradox here when it comes to facilitating professional growth among our salespeople. That is, too much force creates pressure that will backfire. Those managers who continue to push because they think they are facilitating progress, are in fact, blocking progress.

As we move ahead, I will share with you a few ways to get and keep your salespeople motivated that won’t consume or exhaust you in the process. I will also identify specific examples of language you can use to empower others using our sales coaching model.

So, how do we accomplish this? There are two types of motivational philosophies. One is based on an attraction model, and the other is a push structure. A pull type or attraction model empowers people, whereas a push type structure robs people of their power and potential.

Managers try to motivate people by force or by pushing because they are attached to the outcomes. Other push structures include using fear, consequences, or threats when trying to get people into action or motivate them to complete a task.

Attraction-based strategies used to motivate people include things like pleasure, support, and coaching. Another way to motivate is by tapping into that person’s personal vision or goal, that is, helping people gravitate toward a specific goal or outcome that they want to achieve rather than prodding them with a consequence to avoid.

The major difference between the two is that the attraction model requires much less effort over time and has long-term effects whereas the old-school push strategy of motivating requires a lot of effort and is temporary.

Ultimately, the goal is to get your employees to become internally driven as opposed to having to be externally motivated through an outside force—your precious and limited time and energy. Let your employees tell you how they want to be motivated, which will lead to the development of a self-driven team of salespeople.

If you are ever curious about why your incentive programs or motivational strategies don’t work, perhaps the real issue is not tapping into what might drive your employees to motivate themselves. So, tap into the individuality of your team.

The results were surprising. Telemarketers wanted flextime and opportunities for career growth. Salespeople cared more about job stability and positive acknowledgment for good performance rather than commissions.

In response, he adjusted the job descriptions and procedures, creating individualized incentive programs geared to each employee’s goals and strengths.

After doing this exercise, he reported that there was less friction and communication breakdowns. People were taking ownership of their responsibilities. This exercise provided a greater sense of accountability and direction. John also found his staff to be much more responsive to changes in his company that supported the corporate vision that he and his team could all be pulled toward, rather than pushed to achieve.

He empowered his staff by acknowledging their natural abilities, while supporting their individual personal visions, goals and needs.

Tap into the individuality of your own team. For example, a 10-person sales team is not just 10 salespeople. These 10 salespeople are 10 individuals who just happen to be salespeople and perform the same job function. In other words, focus on their individualities, their personal and unique needs and goals, as well as their natural strengths and talents to uncover what drives each person. Not everyone is motivated by the same proverbial carrot or technique to drive performance. Truly great managers are sensitive to the fact that each person on their team is unique and as such, these managers appreciate these differences and do not try to fit each team member into a “one size fits all” incentive program or selling strategy.

The unfortunate reality is that most management techniques and sales cultures prevent or discourage individuality. Now, please don’t misinterpret my point here. I still believe in developing a universal culture and the systems that drive it. That is, I believe that you can take best practices, essential selling competencies, certain key strategies, and chronological steps to the sale, and weave them into what has been referred to in various sales cultures as the right way to sell. Then managers would say, “Here’s our selling methodology that if you follow you’ll be successful.” And I believe the same can be done for a coaching and management system—from how we recruit and hire to how we retain, develop, and motivate people.

However, managers fail to go beyond the foundation of the system to complement the personality and style of each salesperson. That’s when the system begins to break down. Eventually, managers end up pushing for results because they are pushing against the inherent individuality that their salespeople desperately want to express.

Many managers assume that every salesperson is motivated by money. This is not always the case. As a matter of fact, it can be demotivational when the carrot dangling in front of salespeople is not only distracting but also promises a reward they don’t even want.

A Maritz poll reported the following: “The degree to which employees felt compensated for their work had little to do with how they felt about management. The perception that a company genuinely listened to and cared about its employees was nine times more important to employees than satisfaction with their pay, in rating the relations between labor and management.”

It isn’t always about the money. Trust, loyalty, motivation, and commitment must be earned by managers. And you earn them by demonstrating that you care about them as individuals and that your attention is on managing and coaching each one of them as a unique person rather than as a commodity.

Here are some suggested questions you can use during your one-to-one meetings in order to tap into each person’s internal drive, while uncovering exactly how you can best coach and manage them.

Questions will assist your employees in uncovering what internally motivates them based on their beliefs and values, so they can use their own energy to achieve it. You are also uncovering the style of management they respond to best. Moreover, you are setting up the expectations on both sides as to what to expect from one another. It certainly beats using your energy to push or stimulate interest or action based on your assumptions or beliefs of what may work for you.

If you rely on pushing to get someone into action, you already know that they won’t move unless you’re there to push. It’s more effective to help them articulate what they want so they can begin to self-motivate. Empowering people by tapping into their internal drive doesn’t drain your energy. Pushing for results is exhausting.

If people are governed by a fear of being punished or of losing their job if they don’t perform, how do you think this affects them, their attitude, and their performance? How about the morale of your team? And, ultimately, how does this affect your clients? I think it’s safe to say that there’s clearly a measurable cost associated with using these motivational tactics. You cannot inspire others when you are afraid, and you can’t be inspired when your mind and soul are full of fear and worry.

Now, imagine what it would be like if you and your staff came to work every day feeling happy, fulfilled, committed, and supported? How much would your bottom line increase? I promise substantially.

The good news is that you have the power to create this environment by taking full responsibility for the morale and culture of your team. After all, if we are all responsible for our communication, which also includes the message being received, then we can conclude that we are then responsible for the barriers, breakdowns, and problems that are a result of faulty communication. And if we are responsible for these problems that stem from poor communication, then we must also be responsible for the culture and morale within our company because, ultimately, a corporate culture is manifested through communication.

Imagine what our days would be like if we were motivated by pleasures instead of attempting to stay one step ahead of consequences? We’re pulled by pleasures; we’re pushed by consequences. Pushing requires effort to continue the momentum. Being pulled toward something is a by-product of natural attraction and magnetism. The shift from using consequence to using pleasure to motivate your people requires a change in your beliefs about how to motivate people and also a change in your communication strategy.

Instead of focusing on what is not present or focusing on the potential consequence, talk about what benefits will be present. For example, the following statements are fear-based threats. “If you don’t make your quota this quarter, then you won’t have a job” or “If you can’t get this project completed within the time frame we discussed, then you won’t be able to take that vacation you wanted at the end of the month.” These statements are consequence-driven statements that focus on what will be missing or what the person will not be able to do or have if they don’t do what is expected of them.

Your communication style says a lot about you and where you are coming from in your thinking. So if you’re communicating from scarcity, then where do you think your focus is when it comes to managing others as well as your mindset? Chances are, you are being driven by fear and consequence instead of your own goals and visions. And if that’s where your focus is, what exactly do you think it is you are going to create? If there’s one universal law worth remembering, it’s this: How you think is exactly what you are going to get.

What about these statements? “If you reach your quota this month, then you will be eligible for the quarterly bonus” or “Once you complete that project, then the only thing I want you to focus on the following week would be planning your vacation and the fun you’re going to have during your week off, especially knowing that it’s a paid vacation week.” Notice how these statements imply the benefit or pleasure that will be present in the person’s life rather than what will be missing.

Here’s another example of communicating from scarcity. “If you don’t get more organized, your stress level as well as your workload will continue to increase to become even more unmanageable and overwhelming.”

Now, here’s the same message but this time it’s being delivered from a place of abundance. “If you keep following through and honoring your daily routine, then you will eliminate the overwhelming workload that’s been weighing you down. This way, your stress level as well as your workload will become more manageable so that you can feel in control and start enjoying your job again.”

Now, when it comes to selling, uncovering the pain or the cost of not making a change is a strategy I certainly endorse when motivating prospects and customers to make a purchasing decision. However, it’s not the typical method of communication you want to use in the office, even though there are those people who respond to it. Closing a sale for the most part is a one-time event. And even if you are constantly selling or upselling to existing clients, it’s not something that typically happens on a day-to-day basis with the same customer.

On the other hand, developing a positive atmosphere within the workplace is something that requires daily reinforcement, often more than once a day. Since we do not want to breed a negative culture, consider this instead. If a consequence needs to be driven home, then you are better off asking questions that will help the salesperson articulate the cost of not changing, for example, “What is it going to cost you if you don’t make any changes?” or “If you don’t make prospecting a daily activity, how is that ultimately going to affect your sales funnel as well as your income?” or “I understand you’ve never worked off a structured routine and still have achieved some great success. However, as you get busier, what might eventually happen if you keep overcommitting yourself?”

This subtle, yet powerful change in your language and communicating from abundance can set the tone of not only every meeting or conversation but the culture of your company. As we have already discussed, the right language can create and reinforce the positive environment you want and one that people desire to work and thrive in. It also makes talking with you a pleasurable experience.

The number one issue people have in the workforce today is, “Will I be valued and will I have a job in the future?” You want the people who are working for you to want to be there. Otherwise, what do you think they are going to spend their time doing?

Yet many managers do not acknowledge their people’s value and do not appease their concerns. Instead, managers focus more on problems rather than on their team’s achievements or solutions to drive continued, sustainable growth. These managers are continually putting out fires and jumping from one problem to the next.

The by-product of acknowledgment is you build morale, which breeds the type of culture that you are looking to create. Ask yourself, do you get acknowledged for something on a daily basis? Chances are, if you have not been the recipient of consistent, positive, and authentic praise, then you may be conditioned to believe that acknowledgment is not all that critical or effective. After all, we learn from our predecessors. Just ask yourself, how often do you authentically acknowledge people on a daily basis?

Why don’t we praise our employees enough? Why are we so stingy with our acknowledgment? What are we afraid might happen? Do we feel that we only have a limited supply of acknowledgment and we don’t want to use it up?

Oh, I can see it now. You are in your office one day and one of your salespeople comes in and says, “I just want you to know that I’ve noticed you are taking more time and interest in my work and your positive reinforcement is generating some worthwhile results. I’m getting the sense that you are appreciating what I’m doing here more and more. Well, I just want you to know that you are making me feel just too good about myself and the company, so this has just got to stop!”

Of course this is an obvious exaggeration, but the real truth is, we don’t acknowledge others more often because:

The key to using positive reinforcement and acknowledgment as a powerful, motivating tool is to use it authentically, measurably, and unconditionally. Do not issue generic, hollow statements of praise that sound like “Good work!” Instead, recognize when something specific has occurred. Notice what people do or how they have improved. Praise them for who they are and who they are becoming.

General recognition such as, “I love the work you’re doing” or “You did a great job,” is not enough. It can actually backfire to work against you if the person you’re delivering the acknowledgment to feels it’s not genuine, conditional, a manipulative strategy, or believes you have attached your own agenda to it. Give genuine and honest acknowledgment and make sure it’s specific and measurable.

Reinforce a behavior, activity, change, mindset, or technique that you noticed that made a profound impact on their success and the results they’ve achieved.

By acknowledging a specific behavior, the person will know what to do next time. In essence, you are reinforcing best practices while the person is doing them.

Here are three examples:

If your appreciation of a person’s efforts is truly authentic and sincere, you have the power to make an employee’s day. Besides, how else will your employees know if they are doing a great job? When they don’t hear about problems? I have yet to hear about someone who left an organization because they were appreciated too much.

Since your salespeople know what behavior to reinforce, your recognition will further sharpen their ability to self-generate results and solutions on their own rather than expecting you to do it.

I refer to it as The Code of Rightness. In my 20 years as an executive sales coach, I have yet to make any of my clients wrong. I always make them right! How do we make people wrong?

Often we don’t even realize when we are doing it. Making people wrong or make-wrongs come in a variety of formats. Sometimes when we talk to each other—our friends, coworkers, spouses, or children—it certainly doesn’t sound like we’re coming from a place of love or kindness.

Ultimately a make-wrong statement is anything that robs people of their positive source of motivation and power or puts them on the defensive. You will know it’s a make-wrong by the response you get.

Here are eight examples of make-wrong statements and questions. These are the more elusive ones that take place in daily conversations. Read each one so that you can recognize a make-wrong when you are doing it.

Using these toxic communication strategies not only turn off people’s listening but will be interpreted as a personal attack, whether you are telling people they are wrong, correcting people, or putting people on the defensive, thus forcing them to come up with reasons as to why they didn’t meet your expectations or do what you thought they should have done.

So, why do managers act this way? Well, when people are busy making someone else wrong, they are making themselves right. (Think back to our conversation on attachments and the need to be right in Chapter 2.) Making other people wrong is a source of energy for some (after all, human beings don’t do anything unless we’re getting some type of payoff out of it).

Sometimes we get so attached to something, such as wanting to be right, that we sacrifice the opportunity to cocreate new and greater possibilities.

When you have a team of people striving to reach performance goals, it is not who is right but what is right that is important. Think about it. We often forget that everyone is working toward achieving the same ultimate goal.

Rather than making people wrong, you can make them right even if they are wrong. After all, through their eyes, they feel as if they’re right. So, respect people’s viewpoints and communicate that to them.

To see rightness in people, you must believe that people are doing the best they can at any given moment. If their best doesn’t meet your standards, you always have the choice to make changes. I am well aware that, in some instances, there’s a right way to do something and a wrong way. For example, in your company there is probably a right way and a wrong way to fill out an expense report or a weekly sales activity report. When an employee completes the report incorrectly, instead of saying, “That’s wrong” or “That’s not the way to do it,” simply add another truth to their statement by asking another question or add more to what has been said to create a new possibility. Otherwise, while making yourself right, you run the risk of making the person you are talking to wrong and this can shut down open communication. The person becomes defensive, stops listening to you, and a confrontational atmosphere is created.

Here is an example of a better response in a situation like this. Notice how this approach still makes the person right and keeps the conversation focused on how to handle and resolve the issue at hand.

“Bob, thanks for getting this information to me on time. I know these reports are new to you and can be a bit tricky, so I appreciate your efforts in getting this done. Based on what I’ve seen after reviewing your reports, I think there’s an opportunity for us to sit down and discuss how we can make this process easier, faster, and more worthwhile for you. Are you open to discussing how we can do this?”

Managers must develop a new language and approach to communicating genuine respect and concern to the people on their team in a way that would make people feel better about themselves and their performance.

Rather than reacting to their remarks, these questions demonstrate your interest in understanding what they are truly saying, what motivated their comment or assumption, or the source of their information. Use this as an opportunity to validate and empathize with some aspect of their feelings. Saying things like, “I appreciate how you feel” or “I understand your feelings on that” lets the other person know that you are sincerely trying to understand where they are coming from. Respecting someone’s point of view, whether you agree with it or not, demonstrates a willingness to continue with the dialogue rather than shut it down. Most important, learn to put your ego aside and let go of your need to be right.