Chapter 12

Use Body Language to Make a Crazy Good Impression

You have heard the expression, “It's not what you say—it's how you say it.” Well, that is not entirely accurate. Your nonverbal cues are just as important as your verbal ones. In fact, your likeability factor is based on approximately 10 percent of your verbal communication. Your tone of voice accounts for 30 percent, and the remaining 60 percent of your likeability is derived from your nonverbal communication—your body language—which includes eye contact, posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

You can learn how to use your body language to enhance your verbal communication and send a positive message to your interviewer, but in order to change your body language, you must be aware of it. Do you make eye contact? Do you stand up straight and sit tall? Do you use your hands and facial expressions to emphasize important points? By using body language to your advantage, you will be remembered as a job candidate who made a great first impression by appearing comfortable and at ease.

Make Crazy Good Eye Contact

Eye contact is very important when you are interviewing for a job. Individuals who maintain eye contact create a favorable impression because they exude confidence and social aptitude. When you look someone straight in the eye while you are conversing, you are perceived as honest and trustworthy. It is also a sign of respect because your interviewer knows he has your undivided attention when your eyes are focused on him.

On the other hand, there is a delicate balance between using too much or too little eye contact. You should maintain firm eye contact when you are introduced to interviewers, shake hands, and answer job-related questions. By smiling and maintaining eye contact when shaking hands, you will appear warm, friendly, approachable, and interested. You can supplement your eye contact with an occasional smile and a nod of the head to look more natural. Caution: if you nod too much or too vigorously, you will look like a bobble-head. Just try to relax and be yourself.

One-on-One Interview

In a one-on-one interview, use an eye clasp to lock eyes with the interviewer for three to five seconds and then release. You should alternate your gaze between the interviewer's eyes, forehead, and the bridge of the nose. But, what if your interviewer is wall-eyed, and has one eye that looks straight ahead and the other eye looks off to the side, upward, or downward? Which eye do you look at? This is an age-old question that has been on everyone's mind at one time or another. Answer: you should focus on the eye that's looking directly at you. By knowing how to handle your interviewer's wayward eye, you will be able to sail through the interview unshaken.

Panel Interview

In a panel interview, you must make eye contact with everyone in the room even if it's only for a few seconds. Otherwise, some of the interviewers will feel ignored or slighted and harbor resentment for you. This will work to your disadvantage when it comes time for the interviewers to make a hiring decision.

If an interviewer asks a difficult question, look him in the eye and regularly move your gaze to other interviewers in the room when you are responding to the question, but do not look rapidly from one person to another like you are watching a Ping-Pong tournament. As you wrap up your answer, return your gaze to the person who asked the question.

It is only natural to glance upward when recalling information that you will use in formulating your response to the interviewer's question. Your face should always match what you're saying or about to say, so be sure that your facial expression is pensive and reflective to indicate that you're giving serious consideration to your response.

Lack of Eye Contact

You should not let your eyes wander around the room when the interviewer is talking even if the collage on the wall is more interesting than his monologue. Put yourself in the interviewer's role. Have you ever talked to someone who was staring off in the distance? How did it make you feel? He certainly wasn't concentrating on what you were saying. Perhaps you even turned around to see what he was looking at. Conversely, if you are the one who is focusing on something besides the interviewer, you will look like you are daydreaming. Certainly, you don't want to give the impression that you're bored to death, or you would spend the workday with your head in the clouds instead of doing your job.

If you look away while answering questions, it is a subtle indication that your words may not be truthful. The interviewer also might assume that you lack confidence and are unqualified to do the job effectively. If you look intimidated or afraid, you will bomb the interview, regardless of your stellar job experience or academic record. The interviewer will fear that you are the type to run away at the first sign of trouble, instead of using proactive problem-solving skills.

Staring You Right in the Face

Avoid staring at the interviewer without blinking, or you will make him feel very uneasy and self-conscious. When you give the big, hairy eyeball, you are encroaching on the interviewer's space. A constant stare indicates mistrust; for example, you just can't take your eyes off the interviewer. Just as in the animal kingdom, a stare down is an act of aggression leading to a direct physical attack. Don't make your interviewer fear that you are invading his territory and you are going to pounce on him at any moment.

If you are concerned about your use of eye contact, videotape a mock interview with a friend and then watch it. Pay attention to your eye contact when you respond to some typical questions. Take note of where you look when you break eye contact and train yourself not to look down. Practice until you are a star pupil on the subject of making good eye contact.

Rate the Behavior

Using the Psychotron, how would you rate the job candidate's behavior in the following real-life interview?

Roving Eyes

A magazine editor at a non-profit association interviewed a recent college grad for the position of editorial assistant. The candidate had a journalism degree and excellent writing samples. While the magazine editor gave a brief overview of the association and the job responsibilities, the candidate's eyes darted around the room impatiently. She would not maintain eye contact even when responding to interview questions. At the end of the interview, she yawned. The next day, the magazine editor received an email from the candidate, thanking her for the interview and conveying her keen interest and enthusiasm for the job.

Did the job candidate exhibit crazy good behavior by displaying interest in the interviewer's office décor, or crazy bad behavior because she appeared totally disengaged in the meeting?

Real-life result: In spite of her top-notch writing samples, the candidate was not hired purely because of her lack of eye contact and her big, fat yawn.

Posture Perfect

“Head up, shoulders back.” Remember when your mother, grandmother, teacher, or other well-meaning adult told you to stand straight when you were a kid? You found their nagging irritating at times, but little did you know that good posture can improve your chances of getting a job offer.

Good posture conveys an upbeat attitude and reflects high energy, enthusiasm, and leadership potential. Even if you are short in stature, you can project confidence and authority by standing and sitting tall, with a straight back and squared shoulders. The same applies to tall people. Nothing looks worse than a tall person who is slumped over.

Adopting a confident, expansive stance can be the deciding factor in landing a coveted job, according to studies conducted in 2009 by the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. The research found that when you carry yourself proudly and take up more space, you will feel more confident and powerful, regardless of your rank in an organization.

In one study, undergraduate students who occupied more space when seated (by extending their arms and crossing one leg over the knee), scored higher on power, abstract thinking, and willingness to act. In contrast, undergraduates who sat in restricted positions in which they did not take up much space (dropped shoulders, hands under thighs, and feet together) did not perform as well as their space-craving counterparts.

Good posture also makes you feel better about yourself, according to another study of 71 students conducted in 2009 by Richard Petty, professor of psychology at the Ohio State University, Pablo Briñol, a former postdoctoral fellow at Ohio State, and Benjamin Wagner, a graduate student at Ohio State.

If you were the interviewer, would you hire the job candidate with good posture who appears to be a vibrant picture of health, or a sloucher who looks gloomy and submissive? Interestingly, there is a connection between bad posture and depression. Bad posture can create depression, and depression can lead to a bad posture. Depressed people shuffle slowly with their heads down, eyes downcast, hunched shoulders, and rounded back.

Many people have poor posture due to bad habits, such as hunching over a computer keyboard for umpteen hours a day, year after year. This closed posture makes individuals appear submissive, less confident, and lacking in leadership skills. Don't despair if your current posture is not ramrod straight. Your bad posture does not destine you to look like Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, the lumbering bell ringer at the Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris, in Victor Hugo's famous novel.

If you slouch, you can improve your posture by reminding yourself to stand tall with your head up, your chin tucked, your shoulders back, your chest raised, and your pelvis tilted forward, while holding in your stomach. It sounds like a lot to remember, but practice makes habit.

Sitting Pretty

The proper sitting position will make you feel comfortable, balanced, and relaxed, and appear professional, confident, and in control to the interviewer. When you are ushered into the interviewer's office or a conference room and invited to have a seat, you should assume the tell position in the chair, which is composed of the following elements:

• Sit up straight.
• Keep your head and chin up.
• Square up your shoulders.
• Keep your arms at your side or on the chair armrests.
• Center yourself on the chair.
• Distribute your weight evenly.
• Relax your back against the back of the chair
• Plant your feet firmly.
• Spread your feet or cross your ankles.
• Lean forward slightly to show interest.
• Take up as much space as possible in the chair to project an air of confidence.

This tell posture encourages you to look directly into the interviewer's eyes when speaking. Proper posture also aligns your body, so you can speak clearly from your diaphragm and project your words when talking to the interviewer. After you answer each question, return to your original tell sitting position.

You should avoid using negative body language while seated during the interview, including the following:

• Sitting with your arms crossed is a defensive position.
• Imitating The Thinker is hokey.
• Sitting too far to the left or right makes you look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
• Crossing and uncrossing your legs repeatedly is distracting.
• Bouncing your knees is an irritating, nervous habit.
• Leaning too far forward makes you look anxious and tense, or like you're getting too personal (based on other gestures).
• Sitting too far back in the chair suggests a cavalier attitude, which may be more appropriate near the end of the interview.

Rate the Behavior

Using the Psychotron, how would you rate the job candidate's behavior described in the following real-life interview?

Drawing the Wrong Conclusion

It was right after the various shootings that had occurred on numerous university campuses when a medical school candidate arrived for his set of interviews. The university had recently installed an alert system, and people were in high-awareness mode.

He was dressed in the usual male garb: dark suit, shirt, prep tie, and polished shoes. He also looked a tad more nervous than most of the other interviewees.

As the candidate got settled into the chair and the interviewer was about to ask her first question, the candidate slowly moved his hand towards his inside jacket pocket. The interviewer quickly asked her first question and the candidate moved his hand back to the armrest on his chair and answered the question.

The interviewer was about to ask her next question when she noticed the same movement of his hand. She quickly asked her question and saw his hand withdraw.

This pattern repeated itself for the next three questions with the interviewer getting more and more anxious. She wondered what was in his coat pocket and if she should be worried that he might draw a concealed weapon.

Finally, the interviewer told the candidate that she noticed that each time she was about to ask a question, the candidate started to move his hand toward his inside pocket. She then asked, “Do you have something in your pocket that you want to show me?”

The candidate nodded and reached into his pocket. The interviewer had her hand poised over her alarm button. She sighed with relief when the candidate pulled out some photographs documenting his recent experience working in a health clinic overseas.

Was the candidate's behavior crazy good because he brought photos depicting his time spent overseas, or was it crazy bad behavior for making hand gestures that could be construed as threatening?

Mirror Image

If you feel awkward during the interview, you should mirror the interviewer's posture and body language. Mirroring body language is a powerful tool for building trust, rapport, and understanding by putting the other person at ease almost instantly. This technique is valuable in business, sales, friendships, and in job interviews. You can form immediate connections by mirroring posture, gestures, sitting position, tone of voice, and pace of talking.

When you are being open and honest, you will tend to adopt the same stances as the person whose trust you are trying to gain. Mirroring is natural and instinctive; for example, you yawn when you see someone yawn. You smile when someone smiles at you. A smile is a nonverbal acknowledgment of understanding, and the simplest form of mirroring body language. People feel good when they see people smile, so keep smiling.

Mirroring makes people feel understood and in agreement. When people have rapport, they will match each other's body language and facial expressions. In other words, they will subconsciously mirror each other. They see themselves in their own reflection. Think of people attending a wedding, a graduation, a parade, a rock concert, or a funeral. They are subconsciously connected and share the same body language and emotions. They feel part of the whole group dynamic.

Rate the Behavior

Using the Psychotron, how would you rate the job candidate's behavior described in the following real-life interview?

Let's Be Friends

When the Director of Corporate Communications for a giftware manufacturing and licensing company interviewed a woman for the position of Director of Public Relations, she took an instant liking to her. The job candidate brought two portfolios of her work and sat right beside her, explaining her impressive samples in detail as she flipped through them page by page. The interviewer was highly impressed, and observed that the job candidate behaved more like a close friend, instead of someone vying for a high-level corporate position.

Was the job candidate's behavior crazy bad for acting chummy and informal, or crazy good because her friendliness and body language helped establish an immediate rapport with the interviewer?

Real-life result: The candidate exhibited similar behavior in her one-on-one interviews with other people at the company, who absolutely loved her warm approach. Everyone agreed unanimously to hire her.

Your mirroring technique must be very subtle and unnoticeable. To use it successfully, you should not copycat the interviewer's gestures or facial expressions immediately, which would be too obvious. Wait 10 or 15 seconds before using similar body language. Copycatting can be very annoying if it is not handled correctly, as this example shows: When you were a kid, you probably teased and mimicked your pals on occasion, to which they responded, “Stop copying me!” This type of mirroring did not build rapport; it started fistfights. Now fast forward to your interview. You wouldn't want to be ordered out of the interviewer's office for copycatting, would you?

Watch your interviewer closely. If he is using hand gestures, you should do the same. Conversely, if your interviewer is not using hand gestures, avoid using them yourself. Speak at the same pace or slower than your interviewer, so you do not appear tense and harried. Mirroring is a two-way street, and your interviewer may feel compelled and pressured to match your fast pace of talking.

Gestures and Facial Expressions

Your energy, excitement, and enthusiasm are the foundation of effective communication. When you combine facial expressions with hand gestures, you can set the tone or mood for the interview, support and emphasize your points, make it easy for the interviewer to follow your verbal responses, and communicate your authenticity. By aligning your hand gestures with your words, you can drive home key points that you want to make.

The right gestures and facial expressions inspire trust and can make a good impression on the interviewer. Gestures, either conscious or subconscious, express your thoughts more clearly than the words that you speak. Understanding gestures can help you deal more effectively with your interviewers and the people in your everyday life.

Give Yourself a Hand

A firm handshake is critical when you are interviewing or networking. It's the first gesture you make in the interview, and it is your last gesture when the interview ends. It should reflect a capable professional, not a timid, mild-mannered individual or an aggressive, heavy-handed blowhard.

A confident handshake consists of three to four short pumps. It should be delivered in a face-to-face standing position, unless the other person is seated, and enhanced by a smile and warm remarks, such as “Hello, Dr. Molidor. I'm Barbara Parus. It's a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to learning more about the ABC Company.”

After your interview, you should smile, shake hands again, and close with something like, “Thanks for taking the time to meet with me. I hope I have shown you how I can be a valuable asset to your company.”

Will you be remembered as the job candidate with stellar qualifications and an assertive handshake, or will your handshake become an amusing topic of conversation for the human resources department because it falls into one of the following categories?

Here are more body language tips for your interview that might convey subconscious messages:

• Showing your palms indicates sincerity.
• Holding your palms downward is a sign of dominance. Do not shake hands with your palms down.
• Pressing the fingertips of your hands together to form a church steeple is a display of confidence.
• Concealing your hands, as in putting them in your pockets, is a sign that you have something to hide.
• Finger tapping is a sign of impatience.
• Folding your arms across the chest is a very defensive position, indicating disappointment or disagreement.
• Overusing hand gestures to the point of distraction.

Head and Shoulders

The way you hold your head reflects your mindset. Keep this body language in mind at your next interview:

• Touching your ear or scratching your chin is sign that you don't buy the bull.
• Tilting your head forward is a sign of shyness.
• Tilting your head backward shows overconfidence or pride.
• Tilting your head slightly to the side shows you are friendly and ready to listen.
• Tilting your head to one side could be construed as boredom.
• Glazed eyes staring straight ahead indicate boredom (or a hangover).
• Excessive blinking is a sign of lying.
• A harsh or blank facial expression indicates hostility.
• Shrugging your shoulders could be viewed as willingness to unload a problem or burden, or a sign of impatience or total detachment.

In your next job interview, pay special attention to your gestures as they could help in increasing your chances of getting the job.