Interlude 4
Legal Information Can Be Clear
,Legal information abounds on the Internet: terms of use, privacy policies, accessibility policies, and more. Some web sites are all about legal issues; many provide access to legal documents.
Letting go of the words and writing in plain language are as applicable to legal information as to any other web content. Legal documents are conversations between your site visitors and your organization, just like everything else on your web site.
In the United States, all new information from federal government agencies to the public must be in plain language: Plain Language Act of 2010; Executive Order (for regulations), January 2011. For requirements for plain language in other countries, see Asprey, 2010.
Accurate, sufficient, clear – You can have all three
A company’s lawyers want information to be correct – accuracy. They want the information to cover the situations that might arise – sufficiency.
But, most of all, companies want people to follow the terms of use, to understand the company’s policies, to not sue the company, and to not need to be sued by the company.
Clear writing makes that happen. Unclear writing contributes to problems. Clarity supports accuracy and sufficiency to achieve everyone’s goals.
Do you agree that the plain language version in this example is more likely to inspire trust and make site visitors comfortable?
In the process of or following consultation of this web site, data pertaining to identified or identifiable persons may be processed.
When you use this web site, we may collect data about you or people you tell us about – for example, people to whom you are sending a gift. We may use that data to…
The plain language version is just as legal as the less understandable version. In fact, I would argue that the plain language version explains more. Therefore, it serves its legal purpose better.
Avoid archaic legal language
Many words in legal information just shout, “This is legal stuff. You won’t understand it.” That’s because they aren’t part of regular English anymore.
“Heretofore,” “the said example,” “to wit,” and many other words and phrases that we see only in legal documents were plain language hundreds of years ago. People actually talked that way, so reading those words was easy for people – then.
Language changes over time. Words come into the language. Words leave.
We don’t talk with the words in Figure Interlude 4-1. Why use them? They don’t make the information “more legal.”
If the company must tell people which law requires the information, they might write that the way I show in Figure Interlude 4-2.
Figure Interlude 4-1 Words like “pursuant to” and “hereinafter” make legal information difficult for people to understand.
Figure Interlude 4-2 My suggested revision
The list in Figure Interlude 4-3 from the U.S. Federal Register gives you a good start to writing with no archaic legal language.
Figure Interlude 4-3 Words like these make legal documents difficult for your site visitors to understand.
www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/legal-docs/appendix-a.html
Avoid technical jargon
You can also explain technical information clearly in your legal notices.
We collect information to analyze our traffic patterns.
We gather information about how visitors navigate through our web site by using clickstream data.
We collect information to understand how people use our web site.
Words like “traffic patterns,” “navigate,” and “clickstream data” may be everyday language to you. But they aren’t to most of your site visitors. Think about your personas.
Use site visitors’ words in headings
Headings help in legal information, just as they do in any content. All the guidelines from Chapter 9 on headings apply to your privacy policies, terms of use, and other legal information. Questions and statements are just as legal as noun-based headings. Figure Interlude 4-4 shows you the headings that American Express uses.
Figure Interlude 4-4 If you use your site visitors’ words in the headings, site visitors are more likely to read your legal information.
Thanks to Carolyn Boccella Bagin, the plain language specialist who worked with American Express on this. And thanks to others who answered my request for examples.
Follow the rest of this book, too
All the guidelines for clear content apply to legal information.
You can use
For more on plain legal language, see the web sites of
• Clarity – www.clarity-international.net
• Center for Plain Language – www.centerforplainlanguage.org
• Plain Language Action and Information Network (U.S.) – www.plainlanguage.gov
• PLAIN Network International – www.plainlanguagenetwork.org
Case Study 4-1Putting it all together
You may find this model privacy policy useful. With it, I show how you can have a successful conversation with your site visitors even about highly technical and legal matters.
Of course, you may need to modify the information based on the facts for your web site or app. You may need to add other information to cover situations that are special for your site or app. If you do, write in the same style – friendly, personal, clear, and also legal.
