Truth 13. Every message you send has a psychological impact
Which of the following e-mails start well? Which do not? Which versions would you keep reading, and how you would feel about each?
#1 Subject: Share a good idea, win a prize
Colleagues: Do you have an idea about how the company can do something better? Improve a system? Reach more customers? Tell our story more effectively?
CEO Jack Martin wants to know, so on March 18…
#2 Subject: Introducing a new suggestion system
Colleagues: Our CEO, Jack Martin, has asked this department to develop and implement a new system designed to encourage staff suggestions, so I’m writing to tell you that on March 18…
Assuming that you prefer alternative #1, notice how much energy it picks up because the writer thought through the goal (to generate good usable ideas) and the audience (busy, cynically inclined employees) and then connected the two with a prize. If you try to imagine the reasoning behind #2, it would probably be something like, “I’m required to make this announcement but expect no results.”
#1 Subject: The McAllen account
Dear Joe: As you know, at this time of the year, we review responsibilities for individual members of the team, considering general workload and record of accomplishment, and have decided to ask you to take on an additional responsibility…
#2 Subject: New assignment for you—the McAllen account
Dear Joe: Great news! We’ve decided you’re ready to take on the McAllen account, which as you know, is a very important one for the company. Your achievement record has done the trick. I don’t think it should unbalance your workload, but if it proves to be time-consuming, we can talk about getting help for you on another account…
Which e-mail would you rather get? The information is nearly the same, but with version #1, you’d be groaning by the end of the first sentence. But version #2 would make you feel good about the new assignment, and valued. Further, from the writer’s viewpoint, putting a positive spin on the message leads to supporting thoughts—for example, that help will be provided if needed.
Here’s something to remember: Everything you write, even a garden-variety e-mail, has a psychological impact. It reflects relationships and sets the tone for how things are perceived. Ten years ago, no one would have written an e-mail message like “Dear Joe”; the information would have been delivered in person, or perhaps in a carefully written memo. But today, the ability to communicate instantly by e-mail has made us very careless about how the way we say things affects other people.
What’s the real message?—Note that when you read a message, the physical cues—tone of voice, expression, body language—are missing. So, your innocent e-mail might send an entirely different message than what you meant. That’s why you’ve got to be aware of your tone and how your message may be received on the other end.
If you want to motivate others, or impress those you report to, take the potential of your written words seriously. You’ll have a powerful leadership tool in your hands.
When the news is bad—Here’s an example of how to think through your choices in crafting a bad-news message.
#1 Subject: No holiday party
Dear Staff: Please be advised that the holiday party scheduled for December 18 is canceled. The reason is that our cost-cutting program requires it.
We hope the company is in a position to reinstitute this tradition next year. Thanks for understanding.
#2 Subject: The holiday party is canceled
Dear Staff: This is news we regret having to share with you. At a time when we are working to trim costs in the interest of maintaining all staff positions, the Executive Committee has decided to forgo the traditional holiday party planned for December 18.
Instead, everyone is invited to gather for coffee and cake in the Johnson Auditorium at 10 a.m. on the 18th—and to bring a toy as a donation to the Homeless Children’s Holiday Drive. We can wish each other all the season’s joys and also share our good fortune with those who have little.
Which would you rather get? The news is essentially the same, but recipients of the first message might well grumble at this particular cost slashing—we can hear them mutter about executive perks being the last benefit to go—and employee insecurity is being fed as well. Is my job safe? If management doesn’t care about the holiday season, will they care about cutting my job?
Message #2, on the other hand, puts everyone in the same boat: We’re all disappointed—but it’s more important to maintain jobs; who could deny that? It’s good to see someone taking responsibility for the decision. And the substitute invitation results from the kind of brainstorming that should accompany situations of this type. It costs little, offers something in the holiday spirit to look forward to, and contributing toys for needy kids reminds everyone of their relative good fortune. It also demonstrates that the company has a heart and it’s in the right place, which is very reassuring.
Guidelines for delivering bad news
• Tell the total truth (or as much as you can and is appropriate).
• Show a human face (in a restrained way).
• Acknowledge that someone, or at least a department or unit, made the decision rather than using the obscuring passive (“a mistake has been made…”).
• Think about how your audience will react, on every level you can think of.
• Map the content in response to anticipated reaction.
• When possible, come up with some mitigating factor.
• Review the message you craft carefully for how it comes across.
It’s not a bad idea to test run bad-news messages by a few trusted colleagues.
These rules don’t apply to more serious bad-news situations such as firing people, taking them to task, or transferring them, because you should never use e-mail for what should be one-on-one conversations.