Truth 51. Clarity is next to godliness
How often have you said: “I can’t stop now to think about grammar; I’ve got to finish this report because the department head is waiting for it!” You’re right: Now is not the time. But, here are a few pointers so that you’ll be prepared next time.
Commas can bedevil you—What are commas for? Many people say they use commas to create a pause in the sentence. Don’t believe that for a minute! Commas are really there to clarify the writer’s meaning. Here are four examples in which commas can change the meaning of the sentence.
That vs. which—Karen Peters wrote the request for proposals that was sent to vendors on Monday.
and
Karen Peters wrote the request for proposals, which was sent to vendors on Monday.
In this example, the first means that Karen wrote the one request that was sent to the vendors. The second means that Karen wrote the request and that on Monday it was sent to the vendors.
Another example:
The ThriftSave Bank proudly sponsored the annual children’s exhibit that included a large, hand-crafted carousel.
The ThriftSave Bank proudly sponsored the annual children’s exhibit, which included a large, hand-crafted carousel.
In the first sentence, the bank sponsored the one exhibit that had the carousel. In the second, the bank sponsored an exhibit that incidentally also had a carousel in it. The difference in meaning is often subtle—but real—and can lead to the reader misunderstanding the writer’s intent.
Setting off explanatory words—Explanatory words, known as appositives, are nouns or pronouns that identify, explain, or modify another noun or pronoun. Here’s an example:
When the engineer approached IBM sometimes called Big Blue with his idea for a patent, the company rejected his suggestion.
When the engineer approached IBM, sometimes called Big Blue, with his idea for a patent, the company rejected his suggestion.
In this example, sometimes called Big Blue explains something about the company and should be set off with commas for clarity.
In other cases, the meaning can be more directly affected by the use or nonuse of commas to set off an explanatory comment. In this sentence, for instance:
Dr. Meade and his daughter Julie attended the Kline-Jones Medical Conference in Haiti last month.
Dr. Meade and his daughter, Julie, attended the Kline-Jones Medical Conference in Haiti last month.
In the first sentence, the meaning is that Dr. Meade has a daughter and he took her to the conference. The second example implies that Dr. Meade has more than one daughter, but it was Julie he took to the conference.
Run-on sentences—A run-on sentence links two or more complete sentences without punctuation, or with only a comma between them.
An example:
Architect Tony Johnston designs high-end condos he’s trying to sell them.
This example could be fixed in at least three ways:
Architect Tony Johnston designs high-end condos, and he’s trying to sell them.
or
Architect Tony Johnston designs high-end condos that he’s trying to sell.
or
Architect Tony Johnston designs high-end condos; he’s trying to sell them now.
What’s needed in these examples is a conjunction (and) between the two complete thoughts (clauses), punctuation (semicolon), or a pronoun (that) to link the thoughts.
Jim Kelly had developed plans for a multilevel shopping center near the shore, however he couldn’t find investors willing to underwrite the project.
Jim Kelly had developed plans for a multilevel shopping center near the shore; however, he couldn’t find investors willing to underwrite the project.
This example is readily fixed with a semicolon after shore and a comma after however—both of which clarify the meaning for readers. Alternatively, the statement could be broken into two sentences, with “however” beginning the second one.
Commas in a list—How to use commas when you’re citing a list is another common question. Should a sentence read
Janet Smith is in charge of accounting, auditing, debt service and ethics.
or
Janet Smith is in charge of accounting, auditing, debt service, and ethics.
Both are correct, but consistency is good. Some style guides (see Truth 52, “You can fix your own grammar goofs”) tell writers to use the “serial comma” (that’s the comma before “and” in a series). For example, in the sentence, “John, Mike, and Sally will have roles in the play,” the serial comma is after “Mike.” Style guides used by many newspapers advise writers to omit the serial comma, so that sentence would read: “John, Mike and Sally will have roles in the play.” If you’re devising your own style, consider that using the serial comma adds clarity to your sentences.