Chapter 7

Integrating Mindfulness with Coaching

In This Chapter

Taking a mindful approach to coaching

Looking at practical ways to coach with mindfulness

M ost medium- to large-sized organisations now offer coaching for their staff. The reason is simple — coaching is one of the most effective ways of achieving staff development.

Business and executive coaches are increasingly integrating mindfulness into their approach. The early adopters practised mindfulness for many years before the emergence of supporting research gave them the confidence to openly introduce the techniques to their clients. Nowadays, as mindfulness goes mainstream, we find that business coaches are approaching us to help them incorporate the techniques in their own work. Offering ways to help clients fulfil their potential is what coaches are all about, so their own mastery of the techniques creates a win-win situation.

In this chapter we cover the basics of mindfulness coaching. We also talk about overcoming self-doubt and increasing clarity to integrate mindfulness into coaching.

Discovering Mindful Coaching

Mindful coaching is the process of sharing mindfulness-based values and exercises to help individuals or teams to develop both professionally and/or personally. The development occurs as a result of an increased awareness of someone’s internal patterns of thoughts and emotions, and their awareness of outer opportunities and challenges.

Traditional coaching was often based on the GROW model developed by Sir John Whitmore:

G — Goals

R — Reality

O — Options

W — What next?

The ‘goals’ element involves helping the client to discover what he wants to achieve. The client is then asked to reflect on the reality of his current situation. What’s actually happening for him right now? Next, he comes up with various options for achieving his goals. In this stage he’s asked to let go of self-limiting beliefs by considering questions such as, ‘If money was not an issue, what would you do?’ Finally, in the ‘what next?’ stage, the coach asks the client to commit to one or several specific actions that he will take over the next few weeks or months, until the next coaching session.

Several traditional coaching values are shared with mindfulness:

However, several values are seemingly in conflict with traditional coaching approaches, as shown in Table 7-1.

The traditional coaching model is very much goal-orientated. The basic premise is to find out what you really want to achieve at work, set realistic yet challenging goals and then work at meeting those goals.

Mindfulness goes beyond goals and goal-setting. Rushing too quickly to set goals without reflecting on where you are now, what you notice within and around you and, most importantly, whether such goals are appropriate is a wasteful use of energy. Mindfulness offers the awareness and insight from which goals and their outcomes can emerge. Figure 7-1 shows how mindful coaching combines the best of mindfulness and traditional coaching.

Seeing mindfulness as a coaching toolbox

We hesitate to recommend mindfulness as a ‘tool’ because present-moment awareness is so fundamental that it underlies all other tools and techniques. For this reason, although you may be considering using mindfulness as a tool with your clients, we suggest that you see mindfulness as a tool box — without mindfulness, you don’t have a base from which to use all your other tools.

Mindfulness is useful in coaching because it offers clarity of insight.

The essence of mindfulness is non-judgemental awareness. If you can look at your problems, challenges and difficulties without judgement, you’re much better able to see them for what they are. You can then make a decision and take action — which is what coaching is all about.

Figure 7-2 illustrates how mindfulness can underlie the coaching process.

So, the paradox between mindfulness as associated with non-doing or being, and coaching as to do with doing/action isn’t so much a paradox after all. They work together well.

Let’s say you’re being coached at work. Consider what it would be like to undertake coaching without a deep and full awareness of yourself. You’d set goals that aren’t right for you. You’d keep missing opportunities to achieve your goals. And your approach would be mechanical, automatic and unfulfilling as you wouldn’t be truly present.

And imagine if, when being coached, you practised mindfulness and non-doing but never set any goals or reflected on your actions. You’d live in the present moment but your achievements in the workplace would be limited. You wouldn’t be stretching yourself at all and would probably be bored or unfulfilled — not an ideal state of mind if you’re coaching clients.

We think that combining both approaches is best — spending time practising and cultivating mindfulness and time-setting and achieving realistic goals in line with your own values. That’s coaching with mindfulness and a great way to work with clients.

Personal practice is crucial if you want to be an effective mindfulness coach. You can’t hope to be able to coach others in mindfulness if you’re not mindful yourself. When you’re mindful yourself, you not only explicitly teach the principles of mindfulness, you also embody mindfulness. And when you embody mindfulness, you send unconscious signals to others about the benefits of mindfulness.

Take a few minutes to listen to a talk by one of the great mindfulness teachers. You can find the following teachers online: Jon Kabat-Zinn, Thich Nhat Hanh, the Dalai Lama, Jack Kornfield or Matthieu Ricard. Tailor your search depending on what you’re seeking, such as ‘What effect does their tone of voice and ideas have on you?’, ‘Do they make you feel more calm and present?’ or ‘Does their talk increase your own level of mindfulness?’

Mindfulness is always much more than a tool, technique or exercise. Mindfulness is a way of living and being.

Applying mindfulness in coaching

You can integrate mindfulness into coaching in lots of different ways. No one way is better than another. You need to identify the needs of your client and use that knowledge to decide how to coach them most effectively with mindfulness.

Different levels of mindfulness can be applied to coaching, as described here:

Shamash trains mindfulness coaches, and ensures they are able to offer up to Level 5 mindful coaching. That way, they have the choice to use approaches that are most relevant for their clients. If you’re looking to train as a mindful coach, ensure you’re trained to offer a range of mindfulness exercises to your clients depending on their needs.

No matter what kind of coach or consultant you are, never underestimate the power of simply listening mindfully. Ask open, simple questions such as ‘Can you tell me more about that?’ or ‘Anything else you’d like to say?’ and then listen with mindfulness. Leading your clients in this way helps them to be more mindful and can lead to a deep level of transformative insight.

One level is no better than another in this model. If you’re a coach, use the right level for you and your client. If you’re inexperienced with mindfulness, start with Level 1. If you’ve been practising mindfulness for years, consider further training in mindful coaching and begin work at levels 4 or 5, if that’s what your client needs.

Using Practical Ways to Integrate Mindfulness into Coaching

People seek out coaching to meet a particular need — whether fixing something that’s gone wrong or desiring to improve their performance.

Your clients may have a range of problems. They may be overwhelmed with pressure at work. Maybe they’re unable to clarify their goals. Perhaps they’re lacking in self-confidence and hope that coaching will give them a boost. Or maybe they want to improve their ability to communicate with colleagues at work.

Some clients seek out mindful coaching because they want to improve their performance. Shamash has developed a mind fitness course designed to improve such clients’ focus, intelligence and creativity. Mind fitness coaching combines mindfulness with other exercises from positive psychology and guided imagery to help people train their minds just like an athlete trains their body.

This section describes two key benefits of mindful coaching — increased clarity and reduced self-doubt. Obviously many other benefits exist but working on these two introduces you to a few creative ways to use mindful coaching with your clients.

Increasing insight and clarity

Picture a snow globe. You shake it and it fills with imitation snow. When the snowflakes settle, a pretty little village or Christmas scene is revealed.

That snow globe provides a good metaphor for the clarity that can be revealed through mindfulness. Mindfulness gives your clients an opportunity for their frantic thoughts and emotions to settle down. With time, as your clients find out how to step back from their thoughts, they see their own situation with greater clarity and can identify what they need to do to improve it.

Have you had that experience? Have you been so busy with your work and personal life that you couldn’t see what you needed to do next? And then, after practising mindfulness exercises or having a nice holiday, free from distractions, have you been better able to see your situation clearly and known how to change things? We think that mindfulness is the best approach for increasing a client’s clarity and insight.

Mindfulness can lead to clarity and insight in the following ways:

Here’s another analogy that may work for you. Picture mindfulness as the process of cleaning a window. Mindfulness is the act of cleaning, the dirt on the window represents recurring thoughts about the past and future, and the scene through the window represents the world around you. Each time you work through a mindfulness exercise, the windows of your perception are cleansed and you’re better able to see what’s in front of you. Without mindful practice and mindful values, the window can easily become a little dirty again and prevent you from seeing what’s going on.

Here are a few practical exercises to try with your clients to help them gain greater clarity and insight. You can try these exercises on yourself or your clients:

Overcoming self-doubt

Self-doubt is a sense of fear or uncertainty about yourself and your ability to achieve something. When Shamash was at university, he was quite shy. He could deal with small groups of people but giving presentations to a roomful of other students made him feel anxious. Around that time, Shamash began to study and practise mindfulness and other ancient Eastern philosophies. As a result, he discovered the danger of believing one’s own self-limiting beliefs and discovered how to see them as thoughts rather than facts.

Consider this: If you were absolutely guaranteed to succeed, what would you do with your life? Would you continue to work for the same company or would you apply for a different job? Would you try to get a promotion? Would you quit your job and go travelling around Italy? Asking your clients this question can often lead to interesting answers.

The following exercise helps you to clarify your client’s true desires and goals in both their career and personal life, and offers a way to let go of limiting beliefs. Try it yourself first.

Now consider what you discovered. Did you identify your heart’s desire? Try to identify the self-doubts or limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Did you enjoy watching them fly away into the distance or did that approach not work for you? Did this exercise make you feel frustrated or curious? If you felt uncomfortable, in what part of your body did such feelings manifest themselves?

Your answers to these questions lead to further insights about yourself and are a step towards experiencing greater self-confidence and less self-doubt.

Hopefully you can see the value of this mindful exercise for your clients. Figure 7-3 shows how such a process can help your clients to step back from their self-limiting beliefs and perhaps achieve goals they previously thought were impossible.

There’s no right or wrong response to this exercise. Just notice what happens.

For more information on mindful coaching, check out our full-size book, Mindfulness at Work For Dummies (Wiley), which has plenty of additional detail about coaching your team and rolling out mindfulness in your organisation, as well as guidance on hiring a mindfulness coach.