CHAPTER 8
People Aren’t Machines
People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.
—MAYA ANGELOU
Some executives devalue their people by treating them like machines. Those executives implement processes and procedures to maintain control, and are disappointed when their people respond by waiting to be told what to do. By contrast, effective leaders sense that their organization is a collage of individual aspirations and expectations connected by a higher purpose and shared successes. Those leaders reach out to each person in their domain to build relationships that are collaborative and creative. They have conversations that motivate and inspire, as well as ones that provide clear direction.
With tunnel-vision intensity, command-and-control executives tell their people what to do, how to do it, and when it must be done while discounting or ignoring their people’s ideas. Tyrone, a sales manager under pressure to increase sales in a difficult economy, is one example:
Tyrone: | Be in this office at 8 am for the next four Monday mornings to make telemarketing calls to potential clients in your territory. No excuses, just be here. I also want to accompany you on at least four sales calls each week, even if it means canceling other plans you’ve made. |
Susan (top sales rep): | In twenty years as one of the company’s top ten sales reps, I’ve had more success making face-to-face calls on referrals than telemarketing. I can connect far better with prospects in person than over the phone. |
Tyrone: | If I make an exception for you, everyone will want exceptions, and they don’t have the experience or selling skills that you do. |
Susan: | The goal is to increase sales, right? Trust the salespeople to increase sales in ways that work best for them, and tailor your support for each person. The new sales reps will probably benefit from telemarketing experience. |
Tyrone: | We want everyone to use the same selling techniques, so set a good example by doing it our way. |
Susan: | As an alternative, I’d be willing to teach face-to-face skills to the others by having them ride with me. I also could assist you in working with each person to help him or her find the most effective selling method. There is a better way than chaining everyone to a phone. |
Tyrone: | Sorry, no exceptions. We’ll do this my way. |
The result of treating Susan and other sales reps like gears in a sales machine? Sales plummeted, and Susan and two others left the company. Soon thereafter, Tyrone lost his position and returned to being a salesperson. One common reason coaches are brought into organizations is to address the inability of an executive to treat coworkers, customers, and other stakeholders with respect—to value who they are as well as what they can contribute.
By blending the management and leadership mindsets, you will find that differences between you and your people lead to conversations that identify effective approaches and develop a deep appreciation for each other. When executives ignore their people’s ideas, the issue can be a lack of emotional intelligence. In an effort to prove they are right, these executives focus on things they want done instead of how their people can best accomplish them. Unfortunately, they often are not conscious of how their actions are seen by others, which leaves them unable to build the relationships required for success.
Feelings count. You may have coached sports teams, managed projects, supervised functional groups, or led organizations. Every time you were called to lead, people expected you to be an expert—even if you were not. They also expected you to get to know them, tap into their highest potential, and mold them into a winning team. Those relationships had a common characteristic: everyone contributed because the group’s objective was bigger than any one person could accomplish alone. The challenge was to get each person to align with the others and perform together at an optimal level. That challenge required you to build a relationship with each of them, to talk to them using all three conversational perspectives, and to inspire them to do their best.
At the start of each new leadership assignment, the objective may have been outside your people’s comfort zone, and their enthusiasm may have been diluted by fears, doubts, or concerns. Those feelings are a natural part of anything new. Yet stepping through them is what separates winners from losers.
Build relationships by empathizing with your people as they experience feelings that may be similar to those you felt when you were in their shoes—and ones you may feel again after your next promotion. Encourage them to embrace their feelings and conquer them as a team. One source of competitive advantage in today’s global economy is the ability to sense and respond to market changes faster than competitors. If your relationship with each person includes being in touch with his or her feelings, you have a huge advantage in reacting to change.
Recall your first day in your organization. What legends did your new colleagues relate to you? Who were the heroes, and what were their stories? What values did they embrace? What behaviors were acceptable and unacceptable? What importance was attached to building relationships? Those legends, heroes, stories, values, and behaviors define the culture of your organization and the relationships that bond people together. Were you expected to focus on internal conversations, external collaboration, or both? To what extent did your organization share information with outsiders to form strategic partnerships? The culture of an organization may not be obvious at first, yet it becomes apparent when you listen to the stories people tell. They give you a peek into what traits are admired and considered as important for success.
A company set a goal to earn recognition for its government clients for the results its clients achieved. One team pursued that goal vigorously. They identified awards available to government employees and linked the project’s results to the award criteria. Within three years, the government’s project manager was selected as a Top 100 IT executive. Members of the project team were given a bonus because their client won the award, and they attended the award ceremony to celebrate the client’s success. A few months later, the team won a multiyear contract renewal and received another bonus. The client succeeded, the project team earned two bonuses, and the company secured a multiyear contract—everyone was a winner. This approach to building relationships became a legend in the company—a legend that brought the company’s values to life.
You cannot determine an organization’s culture by evaluating its balance sheet, seeing its offices, or reviewing its organization chart. These kinds of information may provide clues, but only conversations with its people will reveal the culture behind the public façade. The culture began with the founders’ vision, values, and beliefs, and evolved over time. Some organizational cultures never seem to change, others change gradually, and still others morph virtually overnight. A healthy culture is an environment where people can succeed individually and collectively through teamwork.
Relationships are the cornerstone of culture, and high-performing organizations reshape their culture as their strategy and objectives evolve. Reshaping the culture is a key part of a leader’s job. The following four elements of culture guide relationships and set the expectations and acceptable behaviors for an organization:
In aligned cultures, these elements guide people toward high levels of success. They establish the purpose for building relationships, developing others, making decisions, and taking actions. Your organization’s culture influences the relationships that are formed and the conversations that are held—or not held.
A mission statement is a broad definition of what the organization seeks to accomplish—it is the backbone of culture. It should be part of conversations both inside the organization and with external stakeholders. A mission statement describes the organization’s relationships, markets, customers, and product or service offerings rather than the organization itself. It often can be a succinct statement with social significance. For example, the mission of one company was to “Help Government Change.” That may sound altruistic, but it was an effective business strategy because change in government is a growth market. When the company’s customers achieved their change goals, they awarded new contracts to the company to assist with additional changes. That mission statement identified potential customers clearly: federal agencies that want to change. So agency leaders who were change champions were the customers with whom this company built relationships.
The organization’s vision is a picture of the future that touches hearts, stirs emotions, and links people together—it is the soul of culture. The vision is the reason why people work hard even when it is difficult to do so. Conversations that address vision can be highly effective. However, any inconsistencies between the way people experience the organization and the vision its leaders espouse will erode the culture and adversely affect performance. Ask your people to describe your organization’s vision. Invite them to tell stories that show how the organization is working to turn its vision into reality. If they cannot answer quickly and clearly, it is time for a leadership conversation . . . or perhaps a new vision.
Goals define the future of an organization because they determine relationships that must be formed and actions that must be taken. Setting quantitative goals is a prerequisite to developing an effective strategy and an executable plan. Where do new goals come from? Usually they emerge from the conversations leaders hold with their people when they sense change in their environment. Compelling goals are often set without concern for how they will be achieved or the resources that may be required—those are details to be ironed out during planning. Goals are not feel-good objectives that you and other executives develop at an off-site workshop. Rather, they are accomplishments that need to be discussed thoroughly, measured objectively, and rewarded generously. Your organization’s overall results will be directly proportional to the effectiveness of the conversations you have while setting goals.
Values that everyone embraces are the conscience of an organization. Most people are reluctant to abandon their personal values when they go to work—they want relationships at work with people who hold similar values. So during interviews, they look for organizations where their values align with those of the organization and its leaders. For example, one company had four values that were embedded so deeply that people treated them like rules:
Values define the relationship among employees, customers, and stakeholders and define how each person expects to be treated. Every organization has underlying values even if they are not written. Identify and discuss your organization’s values with job candidates to improve your opportunity to make great hires who fit the culture.
Aligning people behind a new culture requires time and consistent action because cultural changes affect relationships and alter people’s interactions. Possibly the most important relationship-building conversations you will have will involve recognizing success beyond obvious rewards like bonuses, salary bumps, and promotions. Ask, “What will it take to get you truly excited about working here?”
Nonfinancial recognition is more powerful in building relationships and motivating cultural change than financial rewards. If an employee is motivated only by financial rewards—rather than by culture and purpose—she will leave your organization if she is offered a more lucrative compensation package.
A second culture-changing conversation has to do with how ideas are recognized—especially those that seem off the wall at first. The contribution of an idea should be acknowledged even if that idea is not implemented. “Howard, that’s a great idea. Let’s hold off on implementing it until we measure how the current initiative is working. Thanks for presenting it.” That response will be better received than “Not now, Howard. That’s not what we’re going to do.”
To build strong relationships, increase the frequency of your conversations and focus their content. Even embrace people who resist change, and determine what is behind their resistance. If you can resolve a resistor’s concerns and gain her support, she will become a positive force to influence others to adapt as well. “Cathy, I really want to work closely with you, and I respect your ideas. What change in our plan would turn you into a proponent of this idea?” Remember, it is not the organization that changes; it is people who change. And it is the job of every leader to motivate positive change. Once everyone is aligned with a change, it is your job to consistently steer the organization toward the new mission, vision, goals, and values.
Pamela was an engineer who had worked diligently for fifteen years in the male-dominated culture of a federal agency. Although she had equal opportunity, she felt like an outsider simply because she was the only woman in the department. Headquarters selected her for an award based on her technical achievements and consistent performance. As a surprise, Pam’s manager scheduled a meeting to present the award. When he called her up to receive the award, instead of coming to the podium, Pam left the room, cleared her desk, and went to HR to resign. Her manager was stunned that anyone would act like that after being chosen for a prestigious honor. He assumed that she would react as he would have. Months later, he learned why she left. Pam told him, “I worked fifteen years to gain respect for my technical skills because I was seen as a woman doing a man’s job. It’s only been in the last two years that relationships here have changed and they finally accept me as a full member of the team. The public award ruined it all.”
So why did Pam leave? When the award was announced, she saw in the faces of her colleagues that she was no longer one of them. She was afraid they would once again set her apart because she had an award that none of them had; she did not have the heart to rebuild her relationships. Despite supervising Pamela for years, her manager was unaware of her concern about being treated differently when he decided to give her the award publically. Because the manager had not cultivated a close relationship, he was unaware of the potential issue; he treated her as he would want to be treated instead of asking her what she wanted.
In your role as a manager, your relationships largely will be transactional, focused on completing tasks efficiently according to established processes and standards. However, this does not mean that your people are gears in a machine. Use the leadership mindset to discover, understand, and address their feelings, needs, and goals in your conversations. In your role as a leader, your responsibilities become larger, more complex, and more critical to the organization’s success. Therefore, you must build relationships whose bonds are deeper and in which respect crosses ethnic, gender, cultural, generational, and distance boundaries. Do not assume that you know your people’s needs, desires, or aspirations—learn what they are thinking and feeling by reaching out to them. Listen carefully to their spoken and unspoken responses.
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