Balance

Perhaps everyone desires purpose in their lives. But it seems that many find poor substitutes for the truest purpose life can provide. Real purpose requires the expansion and balance of your Circle.

No one can find their true purpose in life as long as their focus is only on themselves. Such a constricted view of one's life is simply too small to contain all that you were meant to be. You must learn to see the value you bring to others, to the redemption and renewal of the world, and to the expansion of goodness and beauty in the universe to find your true value. Until you see your purpose in the context of other aspects of the Circle to bring it into balance, it is impossible to expand your Circle and see yourself fully and accurately. You must master and balance the four fundamental elements of a mature life.

Each of the four aspects of the Circle builds on, and is built upon, the others. Until you have mastered independence, you cannot know your true giftedness. Without independence, your pursuit of security and significance is thwarted by your attempt to appear to be what those around you expect of you. You are a pretender rather than the independent soul you were created to be. Once you have found your independence, you are ready to discover your true power. You have a gift, some quality given to you that is the engine meant to drive your life. That quality is the source of your dignity, security, and purpose in the world. When you find it, you will begin to experience a new sense of significance and purposefulness. Your power prepares you to master humility. Humility opens your eyes to your connectedness to the world around you. It is only when you have gained humility that you begin to see the larger application of your power, because you learn that your gift was given as a stewardship. It was given to you to share to others. Your humility is the foundation for you to discover your connectedness to a higher power. As you seek to see your life and the world through these eyes, you finally are able to see clearly. You see things in their proper context. You begin to see the glory of your life and its most profound purpose.

Each of these four key elements is meant to balance the others. When one is mastered without the contribution of the others, distortion replaces wisdom.

Without independence, power will be wasted. Your gift will never shine as it was intended because it will be held back by the inclination to use it to please others. If you have not yet mastered independence, your purpose will be dwarfed by your need to satisfy and please those around you. Being a source of light in the world requires you to be bold, even to the point of facing rejection in order to stand for what is truly in the best interest of others. This is simply not possible for people who are building their lives on the need to please.

If you have not found your real power, you have not yet discovered your unique way of bringing light into the world. The power of your presence in transforming your life and the lives of others is fully connected to your unique gift. You simply must know who you were meant to be and what you were meant to do if you are going to fully connect to your true purpose. Without power, humility cannot be experienced, because true humility can never be built on a foundation of weakness. It is only when you know your power that you can begin to see how useful it is in the service of others. Humility without power is a pretense that is only a show on the outside while the inside of the person is filled with resentment, judgment, and bitterness.

If you have not yet learned humility, your life will be too much about yourself for you to truly understand and care for the needs of others. You will be seeking the light to shine on you rather than being the light to those who need it. Until you see your oneness with the world, your value to bring goodness will be limited indeed.

Many successful people feel hollow despite their success. Their outward success has not fulfilled their need to have real purpose in their lives. While they have the respect of the world for their accomplishments, power, and possessions, they know there is something more, something they have yet to find in life. They certainly have gained independence and may very well have found their power but they lack humility and purpose.

For years I ran a middle‐market services firm. As the CEO, I employed over 500 full‐time and another 1,000 variable‐time employees. The company provided IT field maintenance and help desk services for national retailers. For the two decades I ran the company I longed for a job that provided more purpose and meaning. I had friends who were doctors, worked in nonprofits, and so on. I always thought that my role lacked meaning. I thought, if the cash registers didn't get fixed in a four‐hour time frame for XX dollars would it really matter? Yet I made a good living, had a lot of responsibility, and met my personal commitments to my family by being the CEO of this company.

Eventually I came to understand through countless interactions with my employees that my efforts and the company's success over the years provided great meaning to their lives. Many had gone to college, been promoted, bought homes, raised families, and even hired their family members into the company. At a very deep level the company provided a great benefit to many in society. The significance and meaning for them was obvious. This purpose and meaning did not translate easily to me, however. I always felt that if I had greater remuneration through more equity, control, and so on, I would have the freedom to leave the company and accomplish something more meaningful. Of course, I could leave at any time. My path to personal purpose and meaning was blocked by my lack of balance between the independence and power constructs of what I came to know as the Circle.

Our friend was successful, but unsatisfied. He knew there was something missing from his life despite his success. He felt trapped even when he actually had quite a bit of freedom. He felt frustrated, even though he was creating value. Despite the fact that he was improving the lives of others, his life wasn't complete. He needed to break free from his need to meet the needs of others and find his true gifts in order to ascend to that place where his heart would be complete and satisfied.

It is our hope that if you feel that something is missing in your life these thoughts might be helpful to you. There are many people who want to know the “more” for their lives. It is our desire to be your guides. We want to help you be bright lights that bring goodness into every dark corner of this world.