7 Making the most of social networking

When you go freelance, you’ll quickly realise that you can never have too many contacts. You could get your next assignment, project, or business deal through recommendation or word of mouth, or just because someone’s heard of you and is aware of your skills. Of course, as explained in chapter 6, you can try to drum up work by recommending yourself to potential employers, but it will do you no harm if you try to widen your network of acquaintances—and this is where social networking can be invaluable.

Social networks have existed for as long as humans have inhabited the planet. There’s undeniably ‘safety in numbers’! Throughout history, they’ve enabled us to form stronger tribal and national identities, harvest and hunt food more efficiently, defend our territory, and engage in group activities for fitness, pleasure, and relaxation. These networks also pass memories, learning, and wisdom down the years so that patterns of survival can be repeated without societies having to learn them from scratch each time a new generation is born. These patterns still exist.

Generation ‘X’, typically defined as those born between the early 1960s and late 1970s, is probably the last generation to have experienced the traditional style of social network. Roughly speaking, this was characterised by relatively stable family units, low mobility, and a kind of constancy that is absent from most of our social networks today.

Generation ‘Y’ on the other hand, the current ‘20- and 30-somethings’, has been raised in a totally different social atmosphere driven by a high level of technological and material sophistication, instant communication, and global networks that stretch right across the globe. They have quickly become used to both face-to-face social networking and interacting via ‘virtual’ networks on the Internet.

If you take advantage of social networking, you’ll be one step ahead of any competitors who don’t. This chapter will point you in the right direction.

Step one: Realise what you stand to gain

You might think that social networking is just an opportunity to get what you want by using other people’s knowledge, skills, and talents. But, in fact, it’s an important way of making friends, finding contacts, and becoming more involved with both local and wider-scale communities. And having contact with more people than you currently know will help you find work in your life as a freelancer.

Of course, if you constantly use someone for personal gain, they’ll soon become tired of serving your purposes and become less willing to help. You may get something from them in the short term—but you’re also likely to receive some long-term resentment!. Remember that there may come a time when you really need this person to help you, so make sure that the give and take of your relationship is evenly balanced.

You might find social networking a strain if you aren’t naturally confident or extrovert. However, if you think of it as a task rather than a pleasure, you may find it less daunting than you expect, particularly if you remember why you’re doing it. Network with a clear objective and a strategy—along with a contingency plan in case things don’t work out the way you want them to.

Step two: Start networking proactively

You may not have realised how little it takes to set up a social network! Unless you really want to keep your work and personal life separate, the easiest way to start is to join clubs and societies—locally or in cyberspace. Get to know people who might put work your way—once they know what line of business you’re in. Attend a few events to get yourself going, and make an effort to exchange information with others. You may decide not to continue with these club meetings in the long term, but the chances are that you’ll meet a few new people, who’ll then introduce you to their social network.

If your network isn’t giving you what you want, first ask yourself whether you are giving it what it wants. Is the effort you’re putting in as great as the benefit the network brings you? You may find that you’ve outgrown your network and that it’s time to move on. Sometimes people may be holding you back for one reason or another, or relationships might have started to go sour. Be clear about what you want from your network—and don’t be afraid to move on when it’s time to do so.

Step three: Understand virtual networking

In the last few years, social networks have metamorphosed from the relatively small confines of family units and close circles of friends to become worldwide virtual communities. There remains a crucial similarity between the two types of network: both enable us to connect with each other in a way that brings more support and opportunities into our lives.

Friend’s Reunited (www.friendsreunited.com) was probably the first important virtual social network on the Internet. Launched in 2000, it grew rapidly and has put many people back in touch with each other by repairing broken social networks in a completely new way. This success inspired the beginning of many more virtual networks where people could find each other and communicate across the globe—as well as across cultures, age groups, and different levels of social, educational, and physical advantage.

MySpace (www.myspace.com) was launched in 2004 and was so successful that it was sold two years later for a staggering $580 million. It uses personal profiles, chat rooms, e-mails, and blogs to enable friends and families to talk online, orchestrate meetings with new people, and or look for those with whom they’ve lost contact.

Second Life (www.secondlife.com) is a virtual 3-D world built and owned entirely by its residents, registered users who create a virtual persona (known as an ‘avatar’) of their choice. Avatars take social networking to new heights because instead of reflecting ‘real’ people, they can be completely invented characters. Since its launch in 2003, Second Life has grown dramatically, and today it’s inhabited by over five million avatars.

Step four: Remember the seven principles of social networking

Whether you’re networking in person or online, the basic principles remain the same. Think of them as the seven Rs.

1 Reciprocity

This is the ‘do as you would be done by’ principle. People are much more likely to be willing to befriend and assist you if they feel that their efforts will be rewarded in equal measure. If you want to show your willingness to enter a reciprocal relationship, look for opportunities to respond to someone’s interest or need. Try to give unconditionally, and don’t pin your hopes on having the favour returned straightaway. If you approach this as a calculated business transaction, you might find yourself being disappointed, but if you give freely, you may be surprised and delighted by what comes back to you.

Don’t forget, either, that if you want something, you can ask for it. You don’t have to rely on manoeuvring someone into a position where they’re compelled to meet your needs. Most people like to be given the opportunity to assist others and are pleased to help out if they can!

2 Respect

Social networking shouldn’t be undertaken selfishly or cynically. You may sometimes have to acknowledge that people have a different perspective on life and that your way is not their way. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship. Try not to be judgmental or dismissive of someone else’s values and beliefs, but see things from their point of view. This means not making assumptions, jumping to conclusions or making hasty judgements. Listen attentively to what others have to say and be open to the possibility of changing your mindset.

3 Reliability

When you say you’re going to do something for someone, make sure that you honour your promise and deliver. Social networks are voluntary, not compulsory, so it’s all too easy to waive a commitment because when there are unlikely to be any negative professional repercussions. However, if you build get a reputation for over-promising and not coming up with the goods, you’ll soon find that you won’t be taken seriously and others’ willingness to help you will diminish.

4 Relationships

Networks are sustained through effective relationships. These can only flourish with good communication, which in practice means staying in regular touch with people and treating them thoughtfully. Show that you have someone’s interests at heart by sending them an article they might like, a congratulatory note, or an invitation to an event or dinner. It’s very easy to stay in touch more informally nowadays using e-mails and text messages—and don’t forget those social networking sites! These are great ways of reminding someone that you’re still around, whilst also allowing the person to get back to you in his or her own time.

First impressions are also very important. Remember, it takes only a few seconds for people to make up their minds about you and once they’ve done so, it’s very difficult to shift their perceptions. You may want to think about how you create first impressions and whether these are helping or hindering you. Perhaps you could ask a trusted friend to give you some feedback.

5 Records

If you’ve got a poor memory, you might find it useful to devise a system that will prompt you when important occasions are coming up for people in your social network. There are many paper and electronic tools available to make sure you keep on top of what’s happening when. By being thoughtful and proactive about your communication, you’ll be able to demonstrate that you care and that you’re willing to put yourself out for the relationship. For example, you might send somebody a message to ask how a particular important event went. Listen out for and take a note of important dates or events when they come up in conversation. Try to be disciplined and record these dates as soon as you hear about them.

6 Results and Rewards

The results of social networking vary from tangible and exciting rewards and opportunities to simply a feeling of inclusion. Be clear about what you want from your networking activities so that you can judge whether or not your efforts are worth it.

7 Review

Social networks are dynamic structures—and they need your attention if you’re to get the best from them. Be prepared to raze, renovate, and repair. If you find that one of your contacts is absorbing too much of your time and not giving you what you want, don’t continue to pour your energy into the relationship. Sometimes we have to prune our networks in order to keep them manageable. Equally, there’ll be times when you need to build your social network. You can do this by attending events, hosting functions, or volunteering your services. Your networks are bound to ebb and flow according to your life stage or circumstances. You may lose some people from your social network and gain others. Sometimes, people reconnect with past relationships years down the line.

The most important thing is to leave people feeling valued. This means being honest about your motivations, and entering relationships sincerely.

Common mistakes

Your network gets too big

It may become impossible to maintain all your relationships at once. Rather than run the risk of people feeling ignored or let down, think about how you can manage their expectations. You might disclose that you’re going through a particularly intense or busy time and that you won’t be around as much as usual for a while. Let people know what’s going on for you and then go back to them when time or circumstance allows.

You can’t say ‘no’

If you take on too much for other people, this can leave you feeling overburdened and stressed. You don’t have to agree to everything people ask of you. Don’t over-apologise and be assertive: you don’t have to be rude, but ‘I’m sorry I can’t help you out with this’ should do the trick. If someone presses you, just keep repeating it: they’ll soon get the message. Manage your boundaries so that you don’t become overwhelmed and exhausted.

You give up too easily

People get disheartened if someone in their network declines a request or is unable to help them achieve something they’d hoped for. Although this may feel a bit like a dead end, ask your contact who they’d recommend you approach next. Hopefully this will put you in touch with somebody new, giving you the opportunity to build even more professional relationships.

You demand too much

Being over-demanding when you have need of a favour can exhaust the good will in your social network. Be vigilant about giving back to anyone who’s helped you. If you’ve developed your relationships well, you’ll know just what to do in return, leaving your friend or contact feeling valued and the relationship strengthened. If you’re not sure, ask!

STEPS TO SUCCESS

Think about the type of new contacts you need to make and then go out and find them! Join clubs, societies, and groups in person and on the Internet.

Remember social networking is all about give and take. What can you offer others? And what might they do for you? Don’t be afraid to ease up contact with anyone who isn’t contributing to the relationship.

Show others that you value your contact with them. Sending texts and e-mails are easy yet informal ways to remind people that you exist! Make a note of what’s going on in their lives so you can send supportive and interested messages, and always say thank you for any help you’re given.