EPILOGUE
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
The shocks of a life in chaos destroy any notion of the ordinary. Chaos tears down and strips away any notion of human institutions of order, civility, expectation, structure, or perfection, leaving us with the only truth—ourselves in chaos, as life has always been.
At first we oppose it. Fight it. Complain about it. Reject it like antibodies fighting an infection, offering up feeble attempts to control. Exasperated, we cry, shiver, and fight until we can’t anymore. We find ourselves frustrated.
Then we let go, give in, and ultimately accept. We stop overanalyzing, overthinking. We can’t overthink when there’s nothing more to think about than the moment in front of us. We finally stop asking why and turn our attention to the now.
At last, we start trying. We start smiling, breathing, and living. Touching, smelling, feeling, trying, working, serving. We begin moving forward.
Relying on our long-suppressed instincts, our positive nature deep inside, pulled forward by an unknown force, we begin adapting and start realizing that this isn’t so bad. The obstacles we encounter become stepping-stones to great things. Tiny steps become unanticipated leaps. Randomness and chance become gifts that nourish us on our way forward. Time flies, and when we look back we realize that, although not everything in life goes as planned, it is a great ride and things do work out in the end.
Armed with nothing but our own minds, our two hands and two feet, we all have great power to make positive contributions to our lives, to the lives of those we love, to our workplace, and to the purpose we pursue.
When we see ourselves as more than human and feebly attempt to make predictions, to cast aspersions, to scheme and overplan, we get stuck, because chaos spares no one. We can begin to realize our fullest potential for a fulfilling and happy life by learning to let go of our ego’s attempt at control, by accepting the unpredictable nature of life. We must stop overthinking, overanalyzing, and trying to predict, and simply move forward. Chaos never goes away. You learn to live with it, at times flourishing in it but mostly just learning to embrace the chaos.
When I first thought of the idea of Embrace the Chaos, I did a Google search on chaos theory and discovered something called the butterfly effect, the notion that a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil can cause unpredictable, unanticipated consequences, such as a tornado in a faraway place like Texas. The butterfly effect posits that, in a complex, fast, interconnected system with lots of little actions performed by billions of actors, one tiny action can lead to a major, unpredictable shift.
I was led to write this book by a tiny flap of a butterfly wing, a tiny action that I took a few years ago when I said yes to a friend who asked me, “Hey, Bob, can you show me India?” As a result of that simple choice, my mind opened up. I got unstuck, feeling great about doing something fairly usual—accompanying a friend on a trip.
From there, I went in a lot of different directions. One thing led to another, and then to another, and soon I found myself in a place I never thought possible. In this new place I finally fit in, enjoyed what I was doing, and was surrounded by people I love and who support me. The tinge of anxiety surrounding my every word, posture, and thought was replaced by calmness, a smile, joy in every breath, and a step forward.
I believe that what life has in store for us is simply not predictable. After I learned to stop trying to predict and accepted the fluidity of life, I started living again. The stagnant air was released. In its place, I let in the fresh air of possibility, spontaneity, and surprise.
I’m hoping that this book will cause a butterfly effect in your life; that it will act as a catalyst for you to move forward and live a life that you want; that you will take the positive, sometimes painful, but necessary steps to transform yourself from a caterpillar to a butterfly.