Chapter 6. Commitment language
- How to use commitment language to focus your team
- Using commitment language to meet milestones
- How to use commitment language to build a successful team
Specific words and phrases can be used by a team leader to discover hidden issues with accomplishing tasks and alleviate the problem of people telling you what they think you want to hear, rather than the truth.
To understand how commitment language works, we need to talk about personal integrity. When we practice personal integrity, we
1. Say we’ll do it
2. Mean what we say
3. Do it (or raise a red flag)
Creating a language of commitment is about getting people to agree to something and mean it (or explain why they can’t commit). The first part—agreeing to something—is part of our everyday conversation. We say we’ll do stuff all the time, but often we only half-mean it, or we’re unsure we can accomplish it.
Creating a language of commitment is one of the first steps toward developing team members who keep their promises. Changing the way we speak to each other is important. The language we use every day is ambiguous enough that we can feel like we said the right thing, while still feeling uncommitted to it.
What does noncommittal sound like?
Have you noticed the way you make promises? Look for words that leave room to not accomplish something:
- “I hope to finish it this week.”
- “Let’s set up a meeting.”
- “I’ll fix these five bugs as soon as possible.”
- “We should take care of that.”
- “I need to lose weight.”
- “I think I can do this today.”
- “I’ll try to do that as soon as possible.”
A way out
Notice how all the noncommittal sentences offer you a way out. If you end up failing to accomplish the thing you promised, you can always reason, “Well, I didn’t say it would absolutely be done. I said it might be done.”
Sometimes, you have good reason not to fully commit to doing something, for example, if it’s not totally your responsibility. The problem is that instead of telling someone, “I can’t commit to that,” you end up telling them what they want to hear.
Wishful speaking
This problem of hiding important information is prevalent in our industry because we technical folk like to believe in miracles. We also don’t like confrontation. Telling someone what they don’t want to hear is a form of confrontation. Why squirm if we can go about our happy lives, and things will somehow work themselves out even if we don’t finish what we promised? Heck, things are moving quickly, so it’s possible no one will even remember what we promised to do.
And so this culture of wishful speaking prevails and spreads. People learn from each other how to make half-promises instead of real commitments.
What does commitment sound like?
I’ll clarify the difference between language that indicates true commitment and language that is noncommittal. True commitment sounds like someone stating a fact about doing a specific thing, by a specific time or date. Here’s the key sentence: I will [perform a certain action] by [a certain date].
The two basic building blocks of a sentence that declares commitment are as follows:
- You say that you will do something (not might, should, want, or any other inconclusive words). The word will states a fact.
- You give an expected end time or date. Without this part, the commitment is open to interpretation and is virtually meaningless. It has a big loophole: “I didn’t say I’d do it this week, did I?”
Here are some examples of the previous sentences stated as commitments:
- “I will finish this by the end of this week.”
- “I will send out a meeting invitation today.”
- “I will fix these five bugs by the end of the week.”
- “I will take care of that by Tuesday.”
- “I will lose 1 kilo by the end of this month.”
- “I will do this today.”
- “I’ll get that done by 18:00.”
These sentences give you no way out. They make you sign a verbal contract with the listener, a contract that you’ll feel at least mildly uncomfortable breaking. This uncomfortable feeling is the beginning of integrity, and it’s also a good way to surface hidden issues.
Is it under your control?
By now, you may have strongly disagreed with one of the commitments I wrote in the previous section. If you haven’t, take another look at the commitment sentences. Is any one of them specifically bothering you? One of them should stand out like a sore thumb; it does to me.
If someone ever asked me to commit to something like fixing five bugs by the end of the week, I’d say, “I can’t commit to that.” Why? Because I can’t promise to fix a specific set of bugs by a specific date. Bugs often aren’t as innocent and easy to fix as they may seem; my commitment can easily be broken.
I call this kind of commitment “committing to something that’s not fully under your control,” and it’s the subject of the next section.
Commit to things under your control
If a leader expected their team to commit to fixing five bugs by the end of the week, they’d have a problem on their hands. How might someone react under such pressure? Because the team members don’t want to feel bad for breaking a promise, they’ll do one of the following:
1. They’ll buffer and commit to fixing those bugs by a later deadline.
2. They’ll say the commitment words but won’t mean them.
3. They’ll say they can’t commit to that expectation.
With responses #1 and #2, people don’t mean what they say. With #1, it’s entirely possible they still might not fix those bugs by the later deadline. We all know some bugs take longer to fix, because software is such a complex beast. With #2, they’re telling people what they want to hear, and they’re thinking, “I’ll play this silly commitment language game, but I know it will never work.”
In responses #1 and #2, people aren’t displaying full integrity, because they’re being asked to commit to things that aren’t fully under their control. For commitment language to work, for integrity to exist, you have to insist that people commit only to things under their own control.
Let’s see the difference.
Turn an impossible commitment into a possible one
If a team member commits to fixing bugs in a specific amount of time, as a team leader I’ll ask them to change their commitment to something they can live up to, something under their control.
What’s under their control? Usually, their time and what they choose to work on are the only things under their administrative control. It’s important to notice when someone commits to something outside their control, and then ask them to instead commit to one or more steps that can lead to this desired goal.
For example,
I will fix these bugs over the next week.
should become this:
I will work at least 5 hours each day for the next week to fix these bugs.
Here’s an example of a commitment that involves another person. That person is not under the team member’s control; it’s impossible to commit to:
I will meet with David today, and together we’ll decide how to solve this.
This should become the following:
I will send out a meeting request to David today about solving this.
People feel comfortable committing to things under their full control.
What about the third response I mentioned (saying you can’t commit to something)? When people have practiced integrity (discussed in the beginning of this chapter), they’ll feel comfortable saying when they cannot commit, and then you’ll have an opportunity to discover possible roadblocks that have never been mentioned before.
For example:
- “I can’t commit to that because the CEO asked me to do another project, and I won’t have time.”
- “I can’t commit to that because my machine isn’t strong enough to crunch those numbers.”
When you discover these roadblocks, you (or, better yet, your team members) can do something about them. For example, you can teach your team members how to solve these problems the next time they happen, and they won’t need you to steer them in the right direction.
How do you get them on board?
It’s important to realize that it’s not a “me” and “them” thing. It’s a team issue, and you need to be part of the team. You need to learn to use commitment language as well.
Here are the steps you can take to encourage the language of commitment:
- Assemble the team, teach them the language, and explain the benefits.
- Begin using this language in your meetings.
- Fix just-in-time language errors.
Let’s discuss each of these initiatives.
Launch a commitment language initiative at a team meeting
Assemble the team in a single room, where possible, and explain the following concepts.
Now that everyone has the time to start learning new things, you’d like the team to adopt a different mindset about promises and commitments. Going forward, you’ll ask people to use concrete commitment language when promising to do something. You’ll be a bit of a pain in the neck over the next few weeks as you all adjust to this new way of speaking. Ask that people help each other out using the new language.
Teach the basics of the language (what words are noncommittal, what a true commitment sounds like), and demonstrate with promises people have recently made. If a pair promised the previous day to sit on something together, ask them to use commitment language to state the same promise in the form of a commitment.
Measure by feeling
Notice how using this new language affects how people make promises. Does it take them longer to decide if they can do something? Do they think twice before saying they’ll do something? Do they dig deeper to understand what’s required?
How often do you personally get it wrong? Do people correct your language when you get it wrong, or do you have to catch it yourself? You have to set a good example here. The more people hear you using this language, the more they’ll feel comfortable using it with each other.
It will feel awkward at first. It should because when you learn new things and get out of your comfort zone, you feel uncomfortable. That means you’re learning something new.
Fix just-in-time errors
Remember to help everyone on the team fix their language, as it happens, when it happens. The more you do it, the faster everyone will get used to it:
- “Would you mind using ‘I will...by’ instead?” (and smile!)
- “So you will...” (and smile)
- “Great, you forgot to use commitment language. Can you try?” (and smile)
But don’t smile too much, I’ve been told; that will come off as creepy.
Don’t worry about feeling like a jerk, but be nice and polite. Leadership can sometimes feel pretty lonely, even if you’re not being a jerk. Take comfort in knowing you’re driving your team toward higher integrity, and it takes a month or two to see a big difference.
What if they fail to meet their commitments?
If I set a meeting with you in a place downtown at 9 a.m., and on the way I realize I won’t make it in time because of a traffic jam, I make sure to notify you as early as possible that I might be late. If I wait until the last minute, that’s bad manners. For a project, waiting until the last minute to say something can be destructive.
What happens when people realize they can’t live up to their commitments? It has everything to do with integrity. The basic idea is that they raise a red flag as quickly as possible.
Ask that your team raise a flag as soon as someone realizes they won’t make their commitment, to the entire team or to you (if it was a personal commitment). The quicker they raise the flag, the greater the chances the team, as a team, can help out and increase the odds of that person living up to their commitment.
Finishing the commitment conversation
When someone has made a commitment to you, and it’s not clear, it’s useful to repeat what you think that person has committed to:
So, you can commit to working on this five hours, each day, for the next week?
If the person says “yes,” say, “thank you,” and finish the current conversation. If the person corrects you, you’ve clarified that they did or did not make a commitment.
Always finish up with a thank-you because, from my experience, people don’t know how to end these conversations. A nice thank-you helps a lot to put a “dot” at the end of this conversation.
Can commitments drag on forever?
“My project manager won’t like me not committing to a deadline for when the bug is fixed, and committing to working on it a certain amount of time instead. She’ll think I’m just buffering.”
I’ve heard this concern. I find that, with some patience, it’s easy to explain why some tasks can’t be proven to end by a specific time. Instead you can “cap” the maximum time you can “burn” on a specific commitment, and then regroup, replan, and recommit based on what you found. This is true agility.
Look for “by,” not “at”
One common gotcha team leaders often make about commitment language is asking people to commit to a specific time when something will take place. It’s much better, safer, and more reassuring to ask people for an end time: when something will be done by.
Here’s a bad version:
I’ll do this at 14:00 today.
- “I’ll do this by the end of the day.”
- “I’ll do this by 15:00 today.”
The difference is that you’re not breaking your commitment if you do that something earlier than when you promised. It also gives you some leeway as to when to accomplish the thing you promised.
Using “by” instead of “at” isn’t always perfect. When stating a specific time makes more sense, use a specific time, but that should, in my experience, happen rarely. Your first instinct should be to think, “Can we use ‘by’ here?”
Where to use this language
Use commitment language in daily stand-up meetings, in one-on-one meetings, and everywhere promises are made. Once you try this, you’ll start noticing how much noncommittal language is spoken around you, among everyone you know and love.
This new skill, a better understanding of the conversational signs people give when reluctant to commit to something, will bring you both pleasure and pain. The pain will happen mostly when you need something from people and they use noncommittal language, but you’re not in a position to get them to change that, and you need the most from them.
Take comfort that when that happens, you’ll have uncovered a hidden obstruction to achieving your goals, possibly much sooner than you normally would have. That gives you more options in choosing what to do and where to save time, by not wasting resources on lack of commitment.
Next up
Now that your team knows commitment language, you can begin challenging them to learn new skills and ask them to commit to trying out different feats under their control.
In the next few chapters, we’ll talk about growing people by challenging them, and about integrity and how to use integrity meetings to measure the success of your team’s self-organization efforts.
Summary
- Commitment language helps you find out if there’s something preventing people from achieving goals, but they don’t feel comfortable telling you.
- Commitment language is also a way to get people to feel more committed when they say they’ll do something.
- It’s important to make sure people only commit to things they can control, or the technique can backfire when people commit to things they can’t accomplish without commitment from other people as well.