CHAPTER 10

Resilience and Thriving Cultures

Imagine your peers, direct reports, and boss coming to work every day full of energy, positivity, and shared purpose. Furthermore, imagine that no matter the obstacles or the contextual challenges, the basics of the organizational and individual interactions are firmly rooted in emotional connections. To someone looking in from the outside, they would describe the people as collaborative, engaged, and generally happy. A deeper inspection of such a workplace reveals a group of people who are compassionate, understanding, and supportive of each other—thereby creating the right environment for thriving.

Emotions Are the Key

This is not a dream, nor is it an impractical objective. It is the result of acknowledging and addressing the role emotions play as the underlying and the overarching element in a flourishing organization. Mission, vision, and values are critical to success, and what assures that success are the people whose connections with each other must be strong and positive. The future of team performance lies in the ability to create a safe environment where people can openly share their ideas, take risks and fail, explore without blame, and collaborate inclusively and organically. Leadership during times of great uncertainty and volatility requires individual and organizational resilience, intelligence, and trust. The basis of all of these are people whose connections with each other are durable, especially during moments of stress.

Lessons from Apollo 13

We all remember the scene from the movie Apollo 13 when they informed Houston that they have a problem. In fact, the phrase “Houston, we have a problem” has become part of our vernacular. It is, however, the scene that unfolds at the Space Command Center, which demonstrates the point. This group of men at that moment in time with unbelievable stress on their shoulders did not attack, blame, or criticize each other. They did not create an environment where frustration, irritation, or confusion determined their actions. Instead, what took place were actions by a cohesive and determined group of individuals fully committed to solving a set of problems they had never before encountered. In this setting, we observed how each individual was valued for their role and knowledge. We saw and felt the pressure, but we also observed their continuous reassurance of each other and the belief in their ultimate success.

In many ways, this moment at the Space Command Center demonstrates how a thriving organization having emotionally connected individuals can respond effectively to unforeseen challenges. Most of us do not work at the Space Command Center, nor do we have the fate of a spaceship in our hands. However, as leaders, we have something far greater for which we are responsible: we must create and nurture an environment that values relationships, allowing every person to thrive. As leaders, we must understand and know the importance of balance not just within ourselves but also between that of organizational objectives and individual growth and vitality. As leaders, we are primarily the champions for the people part of organizations. This requires us to stretch beyond the content or contextual relationships and dive deeper into the emotional underpinnings of the connections we wish to make.

EmC is a strategy for all people who see themselves as leaders within and of their organizations. It is a management tool when we need to solve conflicts or improve performance. But for leaders, it is a powerful strategy to help people reach the next level, giving them wings to fly. Flight can only happen when we have something solid to lift off from. EmC creates the solid platform we all need to achieve flight, and the depth of our connections gives us the safety net when we fall. The EmC strategy provides leaders with the ability to achieve both.

Using EmC as a Proactive Strategy

In this book thus far, we have discussed the use of the EmC process to address conflicts, disconnections, and general moments of challenge within organizations. In these circumstances, the EmC process can work to address the emotional deficits and begin repairing the relationship. You may be wondering, is the EmC a tool only for when connections are broken, or can it be used prospectively and strategically to maintain and enhance positive cultures? While the majority of the work in the EmC process has been with teams with known difficulties or particular conflicts, the process itself is a positively oriented activity. It creates experiences everyone can draw from to nurture an emotionally supportive workplace. As you may recall, the process is heavily weighted toward discovering the negative emotions and protective behaviors leading to the bonding conversations, which have the potential of starting the positive cycle.

In a workplace that is experiencing little or no significant conflicts, the EmC can act as a strategy can work to dramatically enhance current performance, both for individuals and teams. Sharing conversations such as in the EmC process, often center on emotional experiences, be they conflict-driven or, as we think prospectively, of thriving experiences. Most everyone has a particular situation or a time in mind when they felt as though they were thriving. They describe these situations as a time where they experienced a series of positive emotions, which were empowering. Consider the following example Ramin provided from his experience.

This example helps us to recognize how important it is for teams to focus on thriving situations and to learn from them, empowering team members to grow, create, and blossom. By focusing on the elements in the thriving situation, we can explicitly acknowledge the critical factors necessary for thriving to have occurred in the first place. In a thriving culture, disconnects exist and do occur. However, the culture itself and its positive orientation have the power to guide people into a positive cycle as they focus on reconnection. The EmC, both in its conflict resolution form and in its prospective orientation, is an essential strategy throughout the lifespan of any organization.

Nurturing Extraordinary Professional Growth

Professional growth is a goal for all of us as we find it exciting to face new challenges, testing our skills and capacity. Sometimes, growth is measured in our ability to secure higher positions, and at other times, it is seen as our ability to tackle unprecedented problems. Whichever form it takes, taking risks, collaborating with people whom we would normally not engage, and expressing ideas we may have thought controversial are the key elements to creativity and ensuring continued growth. It is well documented that we have an innate need to grow and develop our skills and abilities.¹ In situations when we are prevented from growing, we become anxious and soon thereafter find ourselves increasingly disconnected and eventually disengaged from the workplace.² Interestingly, most people would agree that the presence of a professionally growing environment can immediately begin to reverse the disconnection and disengagement.

It has been said that success is predicated on three essential elements: talent, passion, and hard work. Without the presence of all of these and in harmony with each other, one is simply good. When these elements are in full sync (Figure 10.1) and are connected to each other through strong emotional connection spread out through the organization, pockets of extraordinary outcomes become possible.

To achieve extraordinary professional growth, individuals need powerful motivation. Best-selling motivation author Daniel Pink, when examining thriving companies and work cultures, has found that individuals have three primary intrinsic motivators: autonomy, mastery, and necessity.³ The science of emotional connection and the importance of creating and nourishing positive emotions at work directly support Pink’s ideas. A positive environment allows individuals to feel valued and thus have a strong sense of feeling needed. They are able to grow and gain mastery, and by functioning from a high level of emotional safety, they have the opportunity to be autonomous. These individuals achieved geometric growth.

Figure 10.1 The intersection of talent, passion, and hardwork

People who are emotionally connected attribute the following remarks to the future of their work:

Thriving Through Flow

The concept of flow is described in psychology as a state where we are creative, productive, and happy, unaware of time or external stressors.⁴ Athletes, musicians, creative artists have the easiest time pointing to moments of flow. Leaders and individuals in organizations can also find these moments when they reflect on thriving situations.

Positive emotional connections and strong bonds are the elements critical for people to reach their state of flow within organizations. Our attempts at reconnections and re-engagements are not to simply create a productive working environment. They are the basis from which stronger connections and emotional engagements can occur—thus potentially leading to a greater flow within organizations. The deeper our understanding of emotional connection, our knowledge of ourselves, and how our brains function during stress, the more we have the power to push through and grow, creating stronger bonds. It is such moments that give brilliance to us and our teams at work. We have, therefore, reframed the culture in a way that induces, encourages, and nurtures optimism and growth.

Throughout this book, we have illustrated the experiential nature of the EmC process using Linda’s team. While she and her team made significant progress in reconnecting through the process, it is the learned experiences that will carry them through as they face new situations. Having gone through the process, they would have learned the facial cues, the triggering statements, and their emotional responses to the degree that allows them to recognize these signs quickly and to address them explicitly, leading to minimal disconnection time. Eventually, emotionally connected team members work through conflicts in a fluid and natural manner. The language of EmC gives us the words and actions to help individuals gain and maintain emotional balance, leading to individual and community thriving.

Nurturing Innovation

Traditionally, organizations were created to promote stability and predictability through hierarchy, silos, and differentiation of work. These types of structures do well in an environment of certainty with known outcomes and defined measures. On the other hand, when it comes to times of uncertainty and a rapidly changing environment, agile organizations offer adaptive, resilient, and innovative structures focused on evolving objectives. These organizations achieve stability in a dynamic culture.

Emotional connections are the basis upon which organizations can create an exciting duality of having the stability for consistency and quality and the dynamism that allows for market competitiveness. Anthony Robbins, who has extensively researched the motivating factors essential for people who perform complex functions, categorizes these into the following: certainty; uncertainty or variety; significance; connection; growth; and contribution (meaning or purpose).⁵ Financial incentives or power dynamics do not even make the list. They are not unimportant, but his research shows that after a certain minimum amount of salary and job security, they are no longer motivators. An emotionally connected workplace exhibits the key ingredients of safety, value, and care for people to be open and honest, to receive feedback that honors their vulnerability, and to feel that their leaders understand their feelings.

The importance of consistency and predictability is well understood. In terms of brain structure, this is when the amygdala is literally at peace, allowing for the cognition part of the brain to understand and evaluate the external environment for new opportunities and connections. Forming strong emotional attachments at the workplace allows for the appreciation of variety, as it brings new possibilities and positive motivations. People become more open to new ideas and to take risks and explore. In addition, being of value to others is paramount in forming healthy relationships that endure during stressful situations. It is the sense of being useful, being important, and being needed gives us the motivation to nurture a positive self-image. Equally important, it pulls people closer, providing emotional satisfaction, reinforcing our attachment-oriented needs.

The famous example of the janitor in NASA illustrates the culmination of strong emotional connections and the presence of the key motivators. In a late-night encounter between John F. Kennedy and a janitor before the launch of Apollo 11, a smiling and happy janitor was asked what he was doing there so late at night, and why was he so happy given the job of being a janitor? He responded, “Why shouldn’t I be happy? I have a great job, and I am helping put a man on the moon.”

This level of ownership represents the power of connections. The goal of every leader is to create and nurture positive places of work where business objectives are met—but more importantly, the ingredients necessary for innovation, creativity, and growth are present and in abundance.

As you strive to achieve your own moon shot, we know the power of emotional connection, and using the EmC process as a strategy will guide your journey, providing the pathway to success.

Happy lift off!