CHAPTER II
Polishing Yourself Up
Professional Etiquette
There are a few basic rules. Follow them and win. Don’t—and lose.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE VITAL in business. As an entrepreneur, it may take you a while to get used to being the head of your enterprise, and to act like you are. Since it’s rare for someone to sit you down and run through the dos and don’ts of professional etiquette, we’re going to do that now. You’ll probably find a mix of news, familiar points to remember, and confirmation you’re doing things right.
Basics
Aim to impress. We don’t mean this in a phony way. Be buttoned down. Be well prepared, well dressed, well spoken, well behaved. When you meet with others outside your business, try to present yourself so they will end up thinking, “I bet that person gets things done!” or “That’s the person I’m going to call when I need X.”
Make sure that you’re always on time, preferably early. That applies to showing up to meetings as well as delivering something. Many things can make you late, so plan with padding to accommodate obstacles and delays.
Lateness is just plain unprofessional. When you are late, people assume that you can’t even manage yourself. With that attitude, why would they trust your business?
In growing numbers, businesses are embracing the idea that ten minutes early is “on time”, so if you walk into a meeting the moment it’s scheduled to start, you’re late. If you arrive slightly early, you can get a feel for the atmosphere and environment, and take a moment to chat with others or review your meeting notes. Get your materials ready, pour yourself something, and collect your thoughts.
Meetings
Since you started your business, it’s natural that you have a lot to say about it. But try to develop a habit of doing twice as much listening as you do talking in meetings. You will learn more and when you do speak, others are more likely to listen. Setting a good example will also encourage your team to be active listeners and you’ll all get more done.
Be aware that as the business’s founder, people watch you closely; don’t slouch or display body language that suggests that you are tired, bored or disinterested.
Phones
Cell phone abuse is widespread, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to do bad things. In a business setting (and that includes meals), do not use your phone without permission of the people you are with. It’s that simple. Anything else says, “I don’t respect you.”
If it’s an emergency and you need to be silently communicating, or you’re expecting a genuinely important call, excuse yourself beforehand and explain the situation, particularly to the leader of a meeting. If your call comes in, excuse yourself unobtrusively and leave the group to take it. When you return to the meeting, apologize for the interruption (unless that interrupts the meeting more!).
Silence your phone whenever that’s appropriate. Some people turn their phones off entirely when they are doing business. And they survive! It wasn’t so long ago that we didn’t have phones attached to us—remember?
When you reach someone’s voicemail, be prepared with a concise message, not longer than a minute. State your name and message clearly, and wrap up with your name and phone number. It’s good to repeat that number too.
Your email habits also impact your professional image. When writing to someone you haven’t met, use Mr., Mrs. or Ms., unless you are absolutely sure first names are appropriate. You can always get informal on the second exchange.
Never send work-related emails from your personal email account. It looks sloppy and could cause your message to get caught in a spam filter. Likewise, avoid juvenile-looking things like smiley faces or strings of exclamation points!!!!!
In a message to a new contact, introduce yourself first and, if the recipient is a referral from a mutual colleague, let the recipient know how you know her. State your action and sign off. Be sure to include your signature block with complete details (your name, title, company coordinates, email and street addresses, phones, website, etc.).
Finally, if you need to send the recipient an attachment, you might want to get his (or his receptionist’s or assistant’s) permission before you send it. An effective opening then can read, “Dear Mr. Hill, I spoke with [name]today and she suggested I send you this note, along with an attachment that describes our services.”
Keep your message concise and to the point. Spell check everything automatically.
We use the BLUF method, which stands for Bottom-Line-Up-Front. It goes something like this:
Dear Mr. Green,
It was a pleasure to meet you last week at the home builders’ convention.
I’m writing, as promised, to set an appointment with your team to demonstrate our new water-resistant wood stain at your office.
I am available all day Tuesday and Thursday, 23 and 25 June. Could you please pick a time that’s convenient for you and get back to me?
I’m looking forward to our meeting.
Yours truly,
[Your name and signature block.]
As the leader of your enterprise your habits will tend to set the standard for employees. It pays to model the best etiquette you can and to coach your team so they can improve where necessary. With a little attention and effort, these points of etiquette can easily become habits. Their impact point by point is not necessarily huge, but taken together, they will give you a solid, professional image that will be a great support to your business’s success.
Common Writing and Speaking Mistakes
Nobody’s perfect. But most common mistakes are completely avoidable with a bit of extra knowledge and practice.
IT STINGS A BIT when someone corrects your speech or writing. It’s embarrassing to be wrong, and embarrassing to have it pointed out.
But when you think about it objectively, you face lots of challenges in other areas as an entrepreneur, and you probably like learning new things that make your business more successful. So why not be open to improving how you express yourself? Here are some tips and some common errors to avoid. All you have to do is address any weak spots you notice.
Correct speaking and writing is expected in business today, even though language skills are not always taught effectively in some schools. If you can’t communicate intelligently and professionally, it damages your image. And if your team lacks polish, that indirectly reflects badly on you. If you say that you like to eat “eye-talian” food, it’s not the end of the world, but people notice and your overall credibility suffers.
Imagine you are interviewing a young man for a job in your business and he says, “I want to work here because supposably this is a great place to work.” If you hire him, give him this chapter to read. Or hire someone with better language skills.
“So what?”, you may say. “Everybody says ‘towards’ and writes alright.” The question is this: Do you want to be wrong like “everybody”, or do you want to be right? You work hard to make sure your product or service is better than the competition’s. So take charge of your verbal skills to make sure they don’t undercut everything else you do.
Here’s a tip: put an X in the boxes next to any errors you tend to make. Then each day, pick one of them and try to use the correct form several times in both your speaking and writing. With practice the correct form will become habit. And you’ll be sure your language skills are up there with the best.
Commonly misused words
Accept, Except: Accept means to receive, while except means to exclude.
Adverse, Averse: Adverse means difficult, averse means having a strong feeling against (like an aversion).
Affect, effect: Affect usually means to alter; an effect is a result.
Allusion, Illusion: An allusion is an indirect reference. An illusion is a misconception or false impression. “Did you catch my allusion to Edgar Allan Poe? The magician didn’t actually saw the girl in half; it was simply an optical illusion.”
Alright: This just isn’t a word. You should use all right.
Ask, Ax: Ask is a verb meaning to verbally make a query, while an ax is a tool used by a lumberjack to cut down trees. If you say “I ax him to pay”, it sounds almost the same as “I asked him to pay”, but the difference will make you sound extremely unprofessional.
Assure, Ensure, Insure: Assure means to guarantee, Ensure means to make sure, and Insure should only be used when talking about insurance.
Capital, Capitol: Capital refers to a city that’s a center of government, and also to wealth or resources. A capitol is a building where lawmakers meet. Canberra is the capital of Australia. Entrepreneurs need capital to fund start-up costs. The US capitol houses the Senate and House of Representatives.
Climactic, Climatic: Climactic is derived from climax, the point of greatest intensity in a series or progression of events. Climatic is derived from climate; it refers to meteorological conditions. The climactic scene in the film was very bloody. Severe climatic conditions include droughts and hurricanes.
Compliment, Complement: A compliment is praise, to complement is to go well with something else or balance something out.
Componentry: This one is relatively uncommon, unless you work in fabrication or engineering. Often mistaken around the shop, componentry is just a churched-up (and completely incorrect) way to say components. Very similar to this engineering misnomer is schematical, as in schematical drawings. Just say schematics or schematic drawings and you’ll be in the right.
Could of: When you think about it, this doesn’t even make sense. It comes from misspelling could have, or could’ve.
Discreet, Discrete: Discreet is to be careful, Discrete means distinct.
Elicit, Illicit: Elicit is a verb meaning to bring out or to evoke. Illicit is an adjective meaning unlawful. The detective was unable to elicit information from the locals about illicit drug trafficking.
Emigrate from, Immigrate to: Emigrate means to leave one country or region to settle in another. Immigrate means to enter another country and reside there. In 1870, my great-grandfather emigrated from France. Many Mexicans immigrate to the United States to find work.
Farther, Further: Farther refers to distance, further means more.
Foreword, Forward: A Foreword is the beginning of a book; forward is a direction and the opposite of backward (also, it never ends in s).
i.e., e.g.,: In Latin i.e. means “that is”, while e.g. means “for example.” Both have two periods and a comma when you write them: He packed his meerschaum, i.e., his clay pipe. She is allergic to root vegetables, e.g., beets.
Its, It’s: Its is possessive, like his or her. It’s is short for it is.
Labtop, Laptop: Labtop is not a word. The computer sits on your lap, not your lab—even if you’re a scientist.
Like: Don’t say like fifteen times in a sentence. Like is not a placeholder—something you needlessly say to fill up space when you can’t think of the right word fast enough.
Loose, Lose: Loose is the opposite of tight, lose is the opposite of win.
No, Know: No is the opposite of yes. Know refers to something you’ve learned. Know when to say no.
Nuclear, Nucular: Nucular is a common mispronunciation, famously used by Jimmy Carter, ex-president of the US, who earlier worked in the US’s nuclear submarine program. The trick to getting it right is to say the word exactly as it’s written: “New-Clee-Err”.
Precede, Proceed: Something precedes if it comes first. To proceed is to carry on, go ahead, or continue, especially after a pause.
Principle, Principal: Principal is a noun meaning the head of a school or an organization, or a sum of money. Principle is a noun meaning a basic truth or law. The principal taught us many vital life principles.
Realtor, reelator: A realtor sells real estate. You won’t see reelator in writing, but it’s a common mispronunciation of realtor.
Supposedly, supposably: Supposedly could be the most mispronounced word in the English-speaking world. We’ve all heard it: supposably.
Than, Then: Than is used for comparisons, then means it came next. I like steak more than fish. We went to dinner, then to a movie.
There, Their, They’re: There is a place, their is something that belongs to them, they’re is short for they are. There are two monsters in their closet and they’re scaring the kids to death!
To, Two, Too: Two is a number, too means also, to is used with verbs (going to). We have two cats. I like cats, too! Let’s go to the pet store and buy them some catnip.
Weather, Whether: Weather is what the meteorologists predict, whether is used when making a choice. I don’t know whether or not to go out in this terrible weather.
Whose, Who’s: Whose is possessive, who’s is short for who is.
Your, You’re: Your points to something that belongs to you, you’re is short for you are.
Words that don’t sound alike but confuse us anyway
Lie, Lay: This one’s a little tricky. Lie means to say something that’s not true, or to recline or rest on a surface. The principal parts for the resting sense are lie, lay, lain. The verb lay, in the present tense, has a lot of meanings, but to put or place something flat is what we focus on here. Its principal parts are lay, laid, laid. Think of it like this: I lie down when I am tired. Lay your cards on the table.
Less, Fewer: In general, use less if it describes something that doesn’t have individual items (called group nouns). Less water, less time, less pain, less hope. Water and time are tricky because you can count water in gallons and time in seconds. If your focus is the count, say fewer seconds of time or fewer gallons of water. If you can count the number of something (count nouns), say fewer. All those store signs saying “ten items or less” are just plain wrong: It should be “ten items or fewer.” Fewer children, fewer questions, fewer cars. British English adds a further complication here because it views nouns like team as a plural, so the correct British usage is “the team are ready for the game.”
Set, Sit: Set means to put or to place. Its principal parts are set, set, set. Sit simply means to be seated. Its principal parts are sit, sat, sat. He set the flower pot by the window. The dog sat by the door all day.
Who, Which, That: Do not use which to refer to people. Use who instead. That, though generally used to refer to things, may be used to refer to a group. I just saw a boy who was wearing a pirate costume. Where is the magazine that I was reading? I have to go to English next, which is my hardest class.
Good, Well: Someone asks, “Good morning; how are you?” If you say, “I’m doing good”, you’re incorrect. Unless you plan on spending your day saving the world or doing charitable favors for people, you are doing well. Good is for things, well is for actions.
Problem phrases:
Cease and desist: Not cease and assist. Same thing, a scrambling of sounds. Cease and desist means to absolutely stop, in legal jargon. Use stop if you can.
Couldn’t care less, could care less: Think of the literal meanings of the words and you won’t say “I could care less”. Your point is that you care so little that it’s not possible to care any less.
For all intents and purposes, For all intensive purposes: Don’t use the second phrase. It’s just a scrambling of the sounds of the correct form, the first phrase here.
Irregardless: Irregardless isn’t a real word—it’s considered wrong because of the double negative elements ir- and -less. Use regardless.
Supposed to: Do not omit the d. Suppose to is incorrect.
Toward, Anyway: There is no s at the end of these words. Although very commonly used, towards and anyways are incorrect.
Used to: Same as above. Do not write use to if you are talking about things routinely done in the past. Write used to.
We’ll close with a couple of additional tips that will boost your credibility through your language skills. It may seem obvious, but if you don’t know much about a topic, it’s best not to bluff. You run the risk of annoying everyone, or worse, getting called out by someone who actually does know about the subject. And if you are a habitual bluffer, your audience will start automatically discounting what you say—even when you actually know something.
Also, if you want to be listened to when you speak, do your best to limit ummm, aaah, errr, and like. It’s annoying, and it makes you sound disorganized, nervous, or not very smart when you use these noises to fill gaps.
Instead, use a silent pause. If you need a moment to collect your thoughts, simply stop talking for a moment, even in the middle of a sentence. It’s clear to everyone that you’re not finished speaking, and the pause can actually get daydreamers back to focusing on you. Also, the pause makes what follows seem a little more important. Don’t overuse this, as its power comes from its surprise effect. And be aware that a silent pause may backfire on a conference call—someone may jump in to speak, or people may think you’ve dropped your phone line (or fallen asleep mid-sentence!).
All these tips and tricks will polish up your professional image. When you speak or write in business, it is the quality of what you say and how you say it that matters.
Confident or Cocky?
In business, it can mean the difference between life and death.
EVEN IF YOURS IS A TINY COMPANY, you realize how important it is to work well with other people. Thus, the way you behave and treat others is important to your success as an individual and leader of a your business team, not to mention the success of your enterprise.
Growing up, it was clear who the “cool kids” or “in crowd” were. Did you ever wonder why they were so likable? Sure, they may have been attractive, but chances are, their appeal was due to their charisma and self-confidence. You know plenty of people who aren’t the best looking, but are master sellers and moguls in business, because their self-confidence makes things happen for them. But they also don’t cross the line into cockiness, which is very disagreeable trait.
People express their dislike of cockiness and arrogance quite readily. You might have started your business because you actually are the best at what you do. So, if you are the best, how can you maintain your confidence and inspire your team without being seen as cocky? The short answer is to blend confidence with kindness and humility.
Put yourself in your teammates’ shoes. Chances are, they know you’re the best (or try really hard to be), and this can sometimes cause a bit of jealousy or competitiveness, especially in people who have similar skills. There’s no point in reining in your confidence, though, because confidence can motivate. Be as confident as you want, but mix it with an appropriate level of kindness and humility. That should win the support of your team.
Generally, leaders who go out of their way to say good morning or ask a colleague if they can help with anything come off as confident. These people take control of the situation by initiating contact, and their confidence and kindness engages and attracts others. One extremely successful entrepreneur we know spends the first hour of every workday strolling through the office and warehouse with a cup of coffee. In the course of a week he’ll have had one or more brief chats with every one of the 100 people in his organization. In those chats he asks Tom how he is coming along with the new web page, then he might ask Sarah if she’s happy with the new product label, and he’ll check in with Matt to see how much sleep he’s getting with that new baby in the house. The employees value these check-ins because they can bring up problems and solutions informally or and set a time for a later meeting. Via this routine, the leader keeps his finger on the pulse of his company and subtly keeps everyone on track and reassured.
Another way to generate confidence is to not lose your temper or composure in a crisis. This might take practice. By staying calm, you can calm others. People will appreciate your strength and the composure you encourage in them, too.
The bottom line is that businesses are political arenas. If people like you, they generally won’t oppose you; and if they like you for the right reasons, they will support you. Your sincere connections with them pay back in many ways.