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Secure Your Own Mask Before Assisting Others
If you’ve traveled by airplane, you’ve experienced the attendant who instructs passengers before takeoff to secure their own oxygen mask before assisting others in the event of an in-flight emergency. I believe our writing lives could benefit from the same advisory warning.
Secure your own mask before assisting others. If I had to name a single principle for helper types like myself to live and work by, it would be this.
So many of us writers work at least two full-time jobs (one as a writer and another that either provides our primary income source or provides primary care for our family—or both) and make constant compromises and sacrifices to keep ourselves, our passion, our families, and our sanity intact.
We are no good to others if we are not good to ourselves first. This much I know. So how do we live by this principle?
I propose that we start by defining our own terms.
What does it mean to you to secure your own mask before assisting others? What are the essentials you must have in place to provide the foundation of energy you need to make your writing life happen—and to create the overflow resources you need to give to all the people and causes you wish to serve?
Here is my “secure your own mask” list, in priority order:
- Sleep: I get at least eight hours a night, if at all possible.
- Financial security: The mortgage and bills are comfortably covered.
- Quality time with my family: I know specifically what this means to me in terms of the types of activities, the amount of time, and the shared feeling of the experience.
- Work commitments fulfilled: Deadlines are met, my desk is cleared, and I have a clear vision for the next day, week, and project.
- Writing vision articulated, if not enacted: I know what I intend to do so that I can hit the ground running (and writing) when a window of time appears in which to write.
- Self-care practice: I walk the dog every morning and take a bath before bed every night, no matter what.
- Fun: Because I have a tendency to fill every spare moment with work, I make guidelines for when and how I intend to have fun. Then I stick to them.
When I’m in balance, my client work gets done, my family and I have a blast, and my creative endeavors have the space they need to breathe and meet me at the page. I’ll bet you find the same to be true.
When you establish a steady flow of oxygen for your life and your writing, you’ll be better prepared to follow through on your commitments to yourself and to others. The writing you produce and the experience of those around you will likely improve, too.
It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what you need yet. All you need to do is commit to finding out.
Be Fierce
Try making a “secure your own mask” list based on what you know works and doesn’t work for you today. Then experiment with the variables that are foundational to your well-being. Make note of what energizes and what drains you. For instance, you could discover that your exercise regimen is time-consuming but actually doubles your energy (and therefore gives you extra time for your writing). Or you may be surprised by the source of an energy leak, which you could plug with a clear boundary, such as talking on the phone to your distressed friend for a half hour instead of two hours. The better you know and honor what you need, the better equipped you will be to give service to your family, readers, clients, customers, colleagues, and everyone (and everything) else that matters most to you.