Cultivating Everyday Courage

by James R. Detert

IN MANY STORIES we hear about workplace courage, the people who fight for positive change end up being ostracized—and sometimes even lose their jobs. What I’ve seen in the course of my research, though, tells a more nuanced story. Most acts of courage don’t come from whistleblowers or organizational martyrs. Instead, they come from respected insiders at all levels who take action—be it campaigning for a risky strategic move, pushing to change an unfair policy, or speaking out against unethical behavior—because they believe it’s the right thing to do. Their reputations and track records enable them to make more headway than those on the margins or outside the organization could. And when they manage the process well, they don’t necessarily pay a high price for their actions; indeed, they may see their status rise as they create positive change.

Consider Martha (not her real name), a finance manager at a small company. For years she endured risqué comments and sexual innuendo from her boss, the company president, and she struggled with how to handle it: Should she talk to him about his behavior, or just quit? How could she protect the other women at the firm? Then, at a staff gathering, her boss grabbed her inappropriately during a light moment, thinking it was funny. Later that day, she confronted him in his office, prepared to quit if he made no changes. She told him that his behavior made her uncomfortable and was a signal to her that she’d never advance in the company because he didn’t view her as an equal. She said that perhaps he was trying to promote a fun work environment, but he was failing.

Martha was terrified that he would fire her, be angry, or tell her to toughen up. But instead, to her surprise, he apologized. He was horrified that this was how she felt—and that other women in the company probably felt the same way. He praised her for speaking out when no one else had dared to. Over subsequent months, he continued to seek her guidance on the issue and made a formal apology to the staff. A year later, Martha was promoted to a VP role: an incredible position to be in for someone who once believed that the president would never promote a woman to that level.

I began investigating workplace courage after spending more than a decade studying why people so often don’t speak up at work. I’ve found many examples of people at all levels who created positive change without ruining their careers. Their success rested primarily on a set of attitudes and behaviors that can be learned, rather than on innate characteristics. I call people who exhibit these behaviors competently courageous because they create the right conditions for action by establishing a strong internal reputation and by improving their fallback options in case things go poorly; they carefully choose their battles, discerning whether a given opportunity to act makes sense in light of their values, the timing, and their broader objectives; they maximize the odds of in-the-moment success by managing the messaging and emotions; and they follow up to preserve relationships and marshal commitment. These steps are useful whether you’re pushing for major change or trying to address a smaller or more local issue.

Lest anyone think I’m naive, let me be clear: Of course bad things do happen when people challenge authorities, norms, and institutions. Courage, after all, is about taking worthy actions despite the potential risk. If no one ever got fired, was socially isolated, or suffered other consequences for a particular action, we wouldn’t consider it courageous. And good outcomes are more likely to come from some types of actions than from others. For example, challenging the inappropriate behavior of a colleague with whom you have a decent relationship is, all else being equal, likely to go better for you than defying the entire power structure over an unethical practice.

Among those I studied who had failed to create positive change, almost all still thought their risk-taking had been the right thing to do. They were proud they had stood up for what they believed in—but they wished they’d done so more skillfully. Following the four principles laid out here can help people at all levels improve their chances of creating positive change when they do decide to act.

Laying the Groundwork

My research shows that employees whose workplace courage produces good results have often spent months or years establishing that they excel at their jobs, that they are invested in the organization, and that they’re evenhanded. They’ve demonstrated that they’re able to stand both apart from and with those whose support they need. In doing so, they’ve accumulated what psychologists call idiosyncrasy credits—a stock of goodwill derived from their history of competence and conformity—which they can cash in when challenging norms or those with more power. (I’ve also seen the reverse: When people with a reputation for selfishness or ill will stand up for legitimately needed change, they tend to be less successful.)

Competently courageous people also work to earn the trust of those who see them as their champions. They invest in those relationships, too—engaging with people individually, taking the time to empathize with them, and helping them develop professionally.

Consider Catherine Gill, a former senior vice president of fundraising and communication at the nonprofit social investment fund Root Capital. Gill wanted to speak up about what she and colleagues saw as the organization’s unintentional yet manifest internal bias against women. The issue was particularly tricky because criticizing the leadership could easily be viewed as criticizing the organization’s socially conscious mission. But she was able to launch an honest—if painful—conversation with her colleagues in senior management about the organization’s culture, leading to a number of concrete changes.

Gill’s track record of excelling and fitting in at the organization was fundamental to her success. Over her first two years at Root Capital, she achieved consistently high performance as a fundraiser and exhibited the emotional and intellectual intelligence to navigate complex issues. She showed that she was deeply committed to the organization’s mission, regularly adjusting her role to tackle the most pressing challenges and showing how various initiatives she launched were aligned with core strategic priorities. She was careful to point out when she didn’t consider something a gender issue so that people on both sides would see her as fair. All that gave her the idiosyncrasy credits she needed to be heard by the leadership team. She determined the limits of what change was possible so that she wouldn’t push too far and get “voted off the island.” Through her work ethic, judgment, and humor, she set the stage for more visible moments of courageous action.

Sometimes things don’t work out, even with the best preparation. Competently courageous people develop mechanisms to mitigate fallout. That might mean finding ways to make themselves indispensable to the organization, keeping external options open, or minimizing economic reliance on an employer. For example, former Telecom Italia leader Franco Bernabè rejected many of the perks that came with being the CEO of a major company, knowing that doing so made it easier to take risks. “If I had lost my job,” he said, “and gone back to something more subdued and less glamorous—well, it wouldn’t have changed my life.”

Choosing Your Battles

Not every opportunity to display courage is worth taking. The people I’ve studied who have been successful in their courageous acts asked themselves two questions before moving ahead: Is this really important? and, Is this the right time?

Importance, of course, lies in the eye of the beholder. It depends on your goals and values and those of your colleagues, stakeholders, and the organization itself. As you gauge whether an issue is truly important, be aware of your emotional triggers; allow yourself to be informed but not held hostage by them. Also assess whether engaging in a potential battle—whatever the outcome might be—is likely to aid or hinder winning the war. Ask yourself, for example: Will securing resources to address this problem make it less likely that a higher-priority proposal will subsequently get funded?

Competently courageous people are masters of good timing. To avoid being seen as a broken record, they are less likely to act if they recently cashed in hard-earned idiosyncrasy credits. They observe what is going on around them, and if the timing doesn’t look right, they patiently hold off. They scan the environment for events and trends that could support their efforts, making the most of an organizational change or the appearance of a new ally, for example. They stay attuned to attention cycles—to public upwellings of enthusiasm for the issue at hand. Pushing for a more globally representative strategy or leadership team, for example, was for a long time risky in many organizations; now companies are more open to tackling those issues. Unless they’ve concluded that taking action is necessary to preserve their sense of integrity or to plant the seed of an idea, competently courageous people don’t act before those around them are ready to take them seriously.

For example, when “Mandy” joined an accessories and apparel company as a product manager, she quickly learned that one of the company’s vendors was highly problematic. Its reps were rude, dishonest, and manipulative, and the product itself was subpar. However, ties between the two companies were long-standing and included a friendship between two key managers. Mandy wisely waited; she didn’t suggest a change until six months later. By that point she had demonstrated her commitment to the organization, and she was better able to gauge the relationships between the people involved. She used the intervening time to collect evidence of the problems, identify alternative vendors, and quantify the improvements they could offer. When she finally did make her proposal, the VP in charge responded positively.

In some cases, conditions or events such as sagging sales or a change in leadership create urgency for courageous acts—and make them more likely to succeed. Tachi Yamada, a physician-scientist turned business leader, has been a master of seizing the day during a successful career as a senior executive in the health care sector. When Yamada became head of R&D at Smith Kline Beecham in 1999, he quickly concluded that the R&D organization needed to be restructured around disease areas or “assets” (the molecules or compounds that might eventually make it to market) rather than the traditional silos. When a merger with another pharmaceutical giant—Glaxo—was announced, he campaigned for the R&D function of the combined company to be structured in that way. The proposal didn’t go over well. R&D leaders and scientists at Glaxo were particularly upset; here was the new guy from the much smaller company in the merger telling them they needed a major change. They “were pretty much aligned against me,” recalls Yamada. But he knew that the timing could be used to his advantage: “The merger and the thin pipeline in both companies gave me a burning platform.” His push for the reorganization succeeded in part because of his ability to recognize the opportunity and capitalize on it.

Persuading in the Moment

Workplace courage is, of course, about more than preparation. Eventually you must take action. During this step, competently courageous people focus primarily on three things: framing their issue in terms that the audience will relate to, making effective use of data, and managing the emotions in the room. (See “Further Reading” for more on persuasion.) They connect their agenda to the organization’s priorities or values, or explain how it addresses critical areas of concern for stakeholders. They ensure that decision makers feel included—not attacked or pushed aside.

Mel Exon, a former executive at the advertising firm Bartle Bogle Hegarty (BBH), excels at framing proposals in ways that make them attractive to those whose support she needs. For example, when Exon and a colleague first pitched the idea for an internal innovation unit—BBH Labs—to senior management, support was far from unanimous. Some executives worried that the creation of a separate innovation group would imply that parts of BBH weren’t innovative. This was concerning in a firm that proudly considered itself the contrarian visionary in the industry, with a black sheep as its calling card.

To convince the skeptics that BBH Labs was philosophically aligned with the company’s mission, Exon took advantage of internal stakeholders’ pride in the black sheep image, pointing out that some of BBH’s clients had come to the company specifically for groundbreaking ideas. A lab focused on innovation would fulfill exactly that need. She won over others by describing the work of the new lab as advance scouting, promising that everyone at the firm would share in its findings. Exon eventually got the go-ahead from senior management, and later BBH’s CEO complimented her approach, describing it as building on the company’s DNA rather than trying to change it.

Keeping your cool as you perform your courageous act can be just as important as how you make your case. A manager I’ll call Erik, who was tasked with growing the solar business at one of the world’s largest multinationals, frequently butted heads with senior executives in the company’s traditional lines of business. When he sought their support for new business models, they often pushed back, telling him brusquely, “We don’t do that” or “That will never work here.” The discussions could get heated, and Erik often felt frustrated by the executives’ defensiveness. But instead of taking the emotional bait, he reminded himself that their response was a normal reaction to fear of the unknown. Acknowledging their mindset helped him stay calm and concentrate on simply making data-driven arguments. In the end, he was able to bring others around to his point of view, and the business made a strong pivot toward his recommended strategy.

Following Up

Those who exhibit competent courage follow up after they take action, no matter how things turned out. They manage their relationships with the people involved: When things go well, they thank supporters and share credit. When things go badly, they address lingering emotions and repair ties with those who might be hurt or angry.

For example, Catherine Gill made an in-the-moment decision to launch her campaign to change the culture at Root Capital during a retreat with about 30 leaders present. But as a result of her spontaneous decision, she caught the CEO off guard. Knowing that the very difficult conversation that ensued might have felt to him like an indictment of his leadership—and that he might see her actions as a personal attack—Gill checked in with him privately at that evening’s dinner. She assured him that she wasn’t trying to start a revolution; she was trying to advance the firm’s evolution into its ideal form.

Follow-up also means continuing to pursue your agenda beyond the first big moment of action. Even when their initial steps go well, the competently courageous continue to advocate, reach out to secure resources, and make sure others deliver on promises. And when things don’t go well, they take it in stride, viewing setbacks as learning opportunities rather than hiding from the fallout or giving up.

Take Fred Keller, who established a welfare-to-career program at the company he founded, Cascade Engineering. In the initiative’s first incarnation, participants were often late or absent, and their performance was poor. Within a few weeks, not one of the new hires remained, and Cascade’s employees and supervisors were left feeling frustrated. Instead of giving up, Keller viewed the failure as an opportunity to learn. Finding that neither Cascade nor its new hires had been well prepared for the program, he reinstated it with more training for everyone involved. When this second attempt seemed headed toward a similar fate, Keller harnessed the growing criticism to get it right. He further increased training of leaders and partnered with a county official to bring a social worker on-site to work with the new hires to identify and solve problems before they escalated. This time Keller’s persistence and learning paid off: The program is now a core part of the organization and is widely lauded as a model for transitioning people from welfare to work. And through his persistence, Keller earned tremendous loyalty from his staff at all levels of the company.

Getting Started

Courage isn’t required only for high-stakes campaigns. My research with Evan Bruno, a PhD student at Darden, shows that a host of everyday actions require employees to act courageously. Sometimes simply doing one’s job well requires courage. It’s also worth noting that “risk” encompasses more than the prospect of financial ruin or getting fired. Humans naturally fear rejection, embarrassment, and all sorts of other social and economic consequences. From the outside, for example, it might be easy to question whether Fred Keller’s actions required courage. As the owner of the company, Keller could do whatever he wanted, so where’s the risk? But for years, he faced doubters both inside and outside his organization. To persevere knowing that people might think he was a “nutcase” or that he was wasting time or money took courage.

The good news is that the experiences of those I’ve studied show that competently courageous behaviors can be learned. They’re dependent on effort and practice, rather than on some heroic personality trait limited to the few. (So don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself off the hook if you find yourself in a situation that calls for courage!) One piece of advice I give to students and clients: Don’t jump into the deep end right away. Instead, approach this work incrementally by trying smaller, more manageable acts before proceeding to progressively harder ones. That might mean having a difficult conversation in some other sphere of life, or broaching a tough topic with a colleague you like and respect, before confronting a boss about demeaning behavior. It might mean guiding your own team in a new direction before suggesting a transformation of the whole organization. And consider what “small” means to you—we all have different perceptions of which actions require courage. (To see how your perception of what takes courage lines up with others’, take our Workplace Courage Acts Index self-assessment at www.workplacecai.com.) Then, as you tackle each step, focus on what you learn, not whether it goes perfectly the first time.

Above all, keep your values and purpose front and center. You’ll have a stronger sense of self-respect through any setbacks you face, and you’ll be less likely to regret your actions, no matter how things turn out. And by using the principles discussed in this article, you’ll increase the chances of successfully creating change, making the risks you take all the more worthwhile.

Originally published in November–December 2018. Reprint R1806K

How to Call Out Racial Injustice at Work

by James R. Detert and Laura Morgan Roberts

In a time of intense pain, anger, and collective attention around issues of racial injustice, many people—African Americans especially—are seizing the moment to speak truth to power at work. They are holding senior leaders accountable for their commitments to increased diversity; confronting colleagues or clients who make insensitive or ignorant comments; and calling out those who mock the Black Lives Matter movement or dismiss calls for justice and human rights.

Speaking up is risky, but studies have shown that confronting injustice of any kind is also vitally important. It’s key to our individual and collective well-being, learning, and, ultimately, organizational performance.

So how can you take a stand for advancing racial justice in your own organization, while also improving your chances for leading change from within, mitigating risk of rejection, and preserving your career options and mental health?

Speaking out at work is difficult, especially when those above us are implicated in some way. We fear—for good reason—that we’ll suffer career, social, psychological, or other kinds of harm for being honest about discrimination. Even the suggestion of racist behavior directly challenges a person’s integrity, increasing the risk of an explosive or defensive response. Thus, people who champion diversity face a host of negative consequences because of widespread resistance to targeted efforts to promote equity and inclusion.

As high as the stakes are for white people who speak up, they’re higher if you’re Black. Raise these issues with white colleagues and you risk being seen as biased, overly emotional (for example, too angry), and a host of other negative stereotypes that may have little to do with the problem you’re trying to address. Here’s an insidious example from one of us (Jim). In one of my classes, I present students with a story of a Black manager who is called a racial slur by a white subordinate and I ask what the Black boss should do. Students typically advise this manager to turn to HR for help so he won’t be perceived as unfair in his discipline of a white subordinate. Asked what they would tell the manager if he were white, some of the same students see him as capable of taking disciplinary action against a subordinate of any race without help.

Courageous actions are rooted in people’s willingness to sacrifice their security and stability for the sake of a cause that is greater than their career advancement. But that doesn’t mean that you should be cavalier about raising issues of racial justice. Here are five strategies to help you maximize your impact when speaking truth to power at work.

Use Allies and Speak as a Collective

Find like-minded colleagues and raise an issue together. People we studied reported that speaking up as a group about workplace issues was more effective than going it alone because a group can’t be written off as “one disgruntled person.” Collective voice is especially impactful when it comes from a multicultural coalition of allies. It’s harder to dismiss non-Black allies on the grounds that they’re being biased or self-interested, and a unified front shows that Black issues are human issues, important to everyone in the community. If you can’t find like-minded collaborators within your company, use social proof by pointing to others who share your point of view (ideally, choose someone whose views are deeply respected by your target audience).

Examples of groups that have applied collective pressure for antiracist institutional change include Google employees, who filed a petition demanding that the company stop selling software to police units; and members of Kansas State’s college football team, who refused to play until the school met their demands for demonstrating accountability for racist actions on campus.

Channel Your Emotions (but Don’t Suppress Them)

Revealing the full extent of your rage or despair in front of those with power sets you up to be dismissed or punished for being “too emotional.” It’s completely justifiable to be angry (outraged), hurt, and sad about the infractions you’ve witnessed. (We are too.) And you shouldn’t ignore these strong emotions: Find safe spaces to help you honor them so that you can channel them as energy that fuels your next steps—conversations with confidantes, for example, or with counselors. Then, after you are feeling centered, you might call attention to the racial injustice that occurred.

Here’s an example. Terrence, a young Black man, confronted his significantly older, white boss about using racial slurs at work. It was a bold move for Terrence to call out this behavior in public given the hierarchical nature of the place and the knowledge that there were “a lot of racist people working there in higher positions.” Despite the strong emotions he felt, Terrence spoke in a firm and measured way, showing compassion and a desire to help correct behavior rather than shame or scold his boss. This allowed his boss to see the ignorance and hurtfulness of his statements and, according to one of Terrence’s colleagues, led him to change his ways, rather than reacting defensively.

Anticipate Others’ Negative Reactions

As much as this feels like a time to focus on your own feelings of outrage and pain, you should also anticipate strong emotional reactions from the people you’re confronting. Demanding improvements in racial equity stands a good chance of evoking defensiveness and fear. Inquiry and framing can help to defuse negative reactions and align shared goals.

For example, if your request evokes a furrowed brow or a crossing of arms across the chest, start asking questions: “These seem like appropriate next steps to me, but perhaps they feel problematic to you. Can you help me understand what you’re thinking, and why these may not seem right to you?” You don’t have to agree with what is said next, but your effort to acknowledge that your counterpart has feelings too can increase your chance of reaching a mutually satisfactory outcome.

Frame What You Say So It’s Compelling to Your Counterpart

Delivering your message as inclusively as possible can help with the sense of divisiveness often associated with calls for racial justice. Make it easier for those you’re imploring to change to see your message as coming from a position of “We are evolving together” rather than “I am revolting against you.” This framing highlights collective progress, which—even when modest—helps people to cultivate positive identities and to find meaning and persistence to conquer challenges of all kinds at work, from diversity and inclusion initiatives to other projects that require people to come together. If possible, make note of at least one way your organization has already made progress on racial inclusion (such as holding a town hall Q&A, making a public statement, establishing task forces, or investing in minority business enterprises) and try to build from there.

When you’re trying to compel others to act differently, especially those above you, it’s also critical to use language that will resonate with them, rather than relying on arguments that are meaningful only to you. When advocating for change, for instance, many of us lead with economic or instrumental arguments. However, in many cases, that might not be the best strategy. Arguing for racial equity on the sole basis of financial gain suggests that basic justice and decency toward people of all races is optional unless it can be proven to have some economic value. It’s not optional, and requiring people of color to justify their demands for basic human rights in this degrading manner is yet another injury inflicted upon them.

You can reframe this moral imperative in a way that resonates with your audience, however. If, for example, your boss is motivated by external threats, explain how your proposals will keep customers who are disgusted by your company’s lack of action from abandoning you. If your boss is more excited by opportunities, talk about how embracing equality and inclusion will attract customers and top talent.

Follow Up

After a difficult conversation, the last thing we want to do is to reengage anytime soon. But no matter how well you handled yourself in the first encounter, these topics are so sensitive that there’s a decent chance that someone left the discussion feeling personally indicted or misunderstood. If you need the people you’ve confronted to stand with you for real change to take root, you’ll want to check in.

Start by acknowledging the difficulty of the subject: “I know our conversation was a really tough one, and I imagine it could have left you with lingering feelings. Can we talk about that?” That can be a powerful way to move forward together and also gives you the opportunity to clarify misunderstandings and to nail down details like resource commitments, action steps, and agreements on measurement and accountability that can give your call for change a better chance of real success.

Our aim in providing this advice is not to place an additional burden on people of color, who already must deal with the unfair weight of their counterparts’ hurt feelings even as they themselves are targets of injustice. Instead we acknowledge the reality of those burdens and the uneven distribution of that racial work and hope to give people of color and their allies greater agency, discretion, and impact in the ongoing fight for change. In so doing, we also aim to lessen the repercussions of speaking out about racial injustice for people’s well-being and careers.

A final thought about the courage it takes to speak up in the workplace about racial injustice: If you have attempted to implement these suggestions and still see little to no progress, take stock of where you are and where you wish to be. It might be time to look around your organization for a new team or assignment with leaders and allies who are willing to join you in this work. Or, it might be time for you to find a new organization where you employ your talents among those more demonstrably committed to the changes you seek.

Adapted from content originally published in July 2020. Reprint H05QRG

How Men Can Become Better Allies to Women

by W. Brad Johnson and David G. Smith

When men are deliberately engaged in gender-inclusion programs, the evidence shows that 96% of organizations see progress—compared to only 30% of organizations where men are not engaged. But too many organizations miss the mark on gender-equity efforts by focusing gender initiatives solely on changing women—from the way they network to the way they lead. Individualistic approaches to solving gender inequities overlook systemic structural causes and reinforce the perception that these are women’s issues—effectively telling men they don’t need to be involved. Without the avid support of men—often the most powerful stakeholders in most large corporations—significant progress toward ending gender disparities is unlikely. What’s at stake? A study by McKinsey projects that in a “full potential” scenario in which women participate in the economy identically to men, $28 trillion (26%) would be added to the annual global GDP when compared to the current business-as-usual scenario.

But engaging men in diversity efforts is not as simple as inviting them to a one-off gender-equity event. In order to overcome the reluctance and anxiety these efforts often produce and to achieve real, systemic change, we must begin from the understanding that although sexism is a system that privileges men, it also polices male behavior.

Challenges Facing Male Allies

We define male allies as members of an advantaged group committed to building relationships with women, expressing as little sexism in their own behavior as possible, understanding the social privilege conferred by their gender, and demonstrating active efforts to address gender inequities at work and in society.

While some research has shown that white men face no penalty for promoting diversity, other studies suggest that there can be a cost to acting as an ally.

First, there’s the dreaded “wimp penalty.” New research reveals that men perceived as less self-promoting and more collaborative and power sharing are evaluated by both men and women as less competent (and, not incidentally, less masculine). This is more likely to occur in organizations where people endorse a zero-sum perspective on gender equality.

Self-professed male allies can also face criticism from the women they try to ally with. As two men who write and speak about cross-gender allyship and mentorship, we’ve witnessed occasional backlash when dudes show up at gender-equity events. Women at one conference circulated a Bingo card just before a panel composed of men on the topic of allyship. The objective? To identify as many worn-out clichés and defensive phrases men often utter in these contexts as possible. Some eye-rolling favorites included: “I’m a feminist.” “We’re all in this together.” “My mother taught me to respect women.” “I saw the light after the birth of my daughter!”

There are many legitimate reasons for women to be skeptical of men’s participation and motives. For one thing, women’s conferences and employee resource groups have historically offered women a sense of community and camaraderie, a safe space for sharing experiences and formulating strategies for addressing inequality in the workplace. Then there are the subtracks and breakout sessions labeled “Manbassador” or “Male Champion,” which are terrific for drawing men in but sound grandiose to women, who may rightfully ask, “Really? We have to call you a champion just to get you to be fair, respectful, and inclusive?”

This “pedestal effect” in which men are given special treatment for even small acts of gender equality is understandably grating for women who for years have done the emotional labor and carried the load for equality, with nary a man in sight. And there is always the risk that overfocusing on men in women’s events may ultimately strengthen rather than dismantle the gender-hierarchy status quo.

There is also the problem of the “fake male feminist” who slings on feminism like a superhero cape when his boss is watching, to impress—or worse, seduce—women, or to avoid being labeled as sexist despite a pattern of sexist behavior. And the sincere but utterly naive, ill-informed, or low-EQ man whose notion of allyship amounts to rescuing, mansplaining, or even attempting to become the spokesman for women in the organization. As Martin Luther King, Jr., once reflected, “Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” When aspiring male allies fail to understand the critical importance of partnering and collaborating with humility, there is a real risk that they may ultimately undermine women’s initiatives by attempting to dominate them.

The Allies Male Allies Need

Women who want to dismantle sexist systems will be well served by appreciating the variation among male allies and the factors most likely to help those allies improve at collaborating with women to shrink gender disparities. Diversity consultant Jennifer Brown frames male allyship on a continuum, ranging from apathetic (clueless and disinterested regarding gender issues) to aware (has some grasp of the issues but not at all active or engaged in addressing them) to active (well informed and willing to engage in gender-equity efforts, but only when asked) to advocate (routinely and proactively champions gender inclusion). Although we wouldn’t waste our time recruiting apathetic men to gender-inclusion events, we’re delighted to get in a room with the other three varieties, taking a shot at spurring their internal motivation and sharpening their ally skill set. We need them in the fight! And evidence shows that the more positive interaction men have with women in professional settings, the less prejudice and exclusion they tend to demonstrate.

Organizers of gender-equity initiatives who wish to engage male allies might also benefit from recent research on psychological standing (perceived legitimacy that comes from being seen as an ally to women). Evidence reveals that gender-parity efforts are most effective when men believe they have an honorable and important role to play, that transformation in the workplace is something they can share in. Men are often inspired to take on this role when they hear stories of discrimination that violate their sense of fairness and justice from women whom they know personally or professionally. Moreover, when allies feel accepted by the disadvantaged group they endeavor to support, their internal motivation to participate is bolstered.

How Men Can Be Better Allies

Here are some best practices for men who want to be better collaborators and allies for gender equality in the workplace, based on research for our book, Good Guys: How Men Can Become Better Allies for Women in the Workplace:

• First, just listen! Consultant Chuck Shelton reminds men that listening to women’s voices in a way that inspires trust and respect is a fundamental relationship promise you must make, and then keep, with women when you join the fight for equity. Generous, world-class listening requires focus, sincerity, empathy, refusal to interrupt, and genuine valuing of both her experience and her willingness to share it with you.

• Respect the space. Women’s conferences and employee resource groups are often seen as a response to experiences of exclusion, marginalization, and discrimination. Many of these experiences are painful. Large events and local resource groups have afforded women a powerful platform for sharing experiences, providing support, and strategizing. Tread respectfully into these spaces, and before you utter a word, revisit the recommendation above.

• Remember, it’s not about you. Ask women how you can amplify, not replace or usurp, existing gender-parity efforts. A large dose of gender humility will help here. Decades of research on prosocial (helpful) behavior reveals a stark gender difference in how it is expressed. While women often express helpfulness communally and relationally, men show helpful intentions through action-oriented behaviors. Sometimes, we need to rein this in. Refrain from taking center stage, speaking for women, or mansplaining how women should approach gender-equity efforts.

• Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Developing psychological standing requires a commitment to learning and advocating for gender equity. Learning about the professional challenges of women may produce feelings of self-shame or self-blame that cause anxiety. The solution is more interaction and learning, not less.

• Engage in supportive partnerships with women. The best cross-gender ally relationships are reciprocal, and mutually growth-enhancing. Share your social capital (influence, information, knowledge, and organizational resources) with women’s groups, but ask them—don’t assume you know—how you can best support their efforts.

• Remember the two parts to allyship. Keep in mind that committing to express as little sexism as possible in your interactions with women is the easy part of allyship. The hard part requires you to take informed action. Use your experience in events and initiatives run by women to learn how you can best become a public ally for social justice around gender. When the time comes, this may require you to upset the status quo.

Adapted from content originally published in October 2018. Reprint H04L31