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Networking and Schmooching

When I started in the business, one didn’t hear buzzwords like networking and schmoozing (or as one of my former international students, who had never before heard this word, mistakenly put it, networking and schmooching). At that time, no one was writing books and giving seminars on the topic. It was obvious from the beginning, though, that people preferred hiring their friends. I would see two individuals up for the same job, and the one more qualified didn’t automatically get it, sometimes because the producer partied with the other guy or the one getting hired was a relative or a former classmate. It reminded me of high school where the most popular kids always had the most dates.

During the early part of my career, my networking activities were limited to staying in touch with individuals I had worked with (or for)—those I had connected with on some level. I’d always been fairly adept at relating to others on a one-to-one basis but was more reticent when it came to facing an entire group. I did, however, eventually become part of an organization comprised of production coordinators, and then sometime later, attended a few functions hosted by Women in Film. But my WIF experiences left much to be desired, because at the time I was a staff production supervisor, and I found myself deluged with calls from other women I had met at these functions, all looking for jobs. Not one of them just said, “I think we’d have a lot in common, let’s get together for lunch.” That kept me away from networking functions for a very long time.

But if you’re in this business long enough and take the time to observe how successful people operate, you don’t have to be a genius to catch on to the power of networking. The phrase, it’s not what you know but who you know, is definitely true, so it stands to reason that the more people you know, the better your chances are of making the right connections. And it isn’t just knowing people that counts—it’s having them know you as well—and like you, too.

According to Donna Fisher and Sandy Vilas, authors of Power Networking (MountainHarbour), a personal referral generates 80% more results than a cold call. Seventy percent of all jobs are found through networking. Most people you meet have at least 250 contacts, and anyone you might want to meet or contact is only four to five people away from you.

Building a network means you have to get out there and start meeting people and creating relationships. If you’ve been to film school, your classmates should be your first network. You’ll meet people at other classes and seminars, on internships, on jobs, at industry-related events, at meetings and functions sponsored by specific networking organizations, by volunteering to help out at industry-related charities, at parties: the possibilities are endless for anyone willing to make the effort.

Once you start meeting people, you’ll find that you connect with certain individuals. Those are the people you want to build relationships with. Whether it’s lunch once every month or so, playing golf or tennis, going to functions together or dating, a relationship between two people who work in this industry will naturally result in those individuals wanting to help and support each other’s careers.

I know, I know. It’s easy to talk about networking and another thing to get out there and do it. I’m convinced that some people are just lucky enough to be born with a “schmooze gene” that makes it practically effortless for them to interact, kibitz, communicate, connect and deal with almost anyone. And for others, it’s a painfully difficult process. For those who aren’t born with the schmooze gene, take comfort in the fact that you can start out by networking in small incremental ways, and it does get easier once you commit to doing it. Start with something simple, like inviting your supervisor to lunch and letting her know how much you enjoy working for her.

Swimming with Sharks

Once I started teaching my USC summer class, I found myself talking a great deal about the benefits of networking and schmoozing. I’d also listen to the guest speakers I’d bring in who, unsolicited, would reiterate and emphasize the significance of networking from their own perspectives. I would routinely have students do research on networking organizations and always stressed how important it is for them to keep in touch, because they are each other’s first network.

For the students who would bond with me and with each other, the most difficult part of the class is when it ends, and they realize their new source of encouragement and feedback is over. And it was hearing that disappointment each summer, in addition to having just spent the previous six weeks discussing the significance of networking that made me start thinking of starting a new networking organization, one that would supply a continuing source of learning, resources and support.

There are several good networking groups out there (Women In Film included), and many offer a snack (or a meal), a guest speaker or panel and a chance to mingle, which is beneficial in its own right. But what came out of working with film students and knowing what they and others truly need was a vision for an organization that would go one step further in helping to further the career goals of its members. So in November 2000, I put the word out to friends, colleagues and former students and reserved the back room of a neighborhood restaurant. Seventeen of us showed up for that first meeting. It is now four years later. Our group became known as Film Industry Network (or FIN for short). We’re a nonprofit corporation that meets monthly at a major studio and has a sizable membership that includes people of all ages from all facets of the industry and varying career levels. We, too, offer snacks and guest speakers, but we also have ongoing committees and programs that do indeed further careers. And our catchy motto is, Learn to swim with the sharks . . . but not as bait.

Being involved with FIN from its inception, I’ve seen first hand and many times over, people making great connections; helping each other; finding opportunities, mentors, job leads and new friends. The best thing, like the class, is the support. It’s great to know you’re with a group of people who understand what you’re going through and share your passion for the industry. And many of our members belong to more than one organization, which only multiplies their chances of making meaningful connections.

The Secret

If you view networking as just something you have to do to get ahead and to get other people to help you with your career, you’re in the wrong game. It needs to be a two-way street and become part of your life, a part that freely gives to, shares with, helps and supports others. Think of the film, Field of Dreams, where Kevin Costner’s character keeps hearing the voice say, “If you build it, they will come.” Apply the same theory to networking: If you build the right foundation, are willing to give of yourself and are patient, good things will come back to you. It’s kind of like the old what-goes-around-comes-around theory.

As in any other competitive business, you will always run into those individuals who are too into themselves and too ambitious to see the benefit of helping others. They’re unwilling or are extraordinarily selective about putting themselves out for anyone else, sometimes doing so only if there’s something in it for them. But from my perspective, this business is also made up of good, talented, creative, hard-working individuals who are willing to help each other. This big secret seems like common sense, but so many people just don’t get that it works. I’ve seen it happen (to myself and to others) too often not to be a firm believer and practitioner.

In this industry in particular, networking should become part of who you are, because by supporting, giving to and sharing with others, you ultimately enrich your own life and career.

I’m a Friend of Marc’s and Jeff’s

It took me a while to learn the power of networking. It took another several years to be able to verbalize the secret of truly successful networking. And it took meeting Marc Hernandez and Jeffrey Gund to make it all so easy to understand.

I had first met Marc Hernandez in July 2001 when he was a guest speaker at a Film Industry Network meeting. His story fascinated me. At 34 years old, Marc gave up a six-figure income in commercial real estate to pursue a life-long dream of working in the film industry. He took a job in the mailroom of a major literary talent agency for $350 per week. Upon graduating from the mailroom, he became an assistant to a literary agent. Placing about 100 phone calls a day for his boss, he would briefly chat with the assistants of the individuals his boss wanted to talk to. While talking to these various assistants, he would ask them for their e-mail addresses.

By the end of his first year, he had accumulated more than 600 e-mail addresses. He then capitalized on a relatively untapped resource by finding websites that listed script sales. Soon, Marc was sending out the latest industry news, what scripts were being sold, who was hot, who was out and where upcoming parties and job openings were to the now 2,800 people on his e-mail list. Information being power, he was handing other assistants and junior executives a rare gift.

His e-mail network became a kind of a Hollywood newsletter, a site where he and others could post information about what was happening in town. Wanting to get to know the faces behind the voices and e-mail addresses, Marc also became known for the mixers he’d organize, being able to fill up cool local hangouts with more than 500 “power assistants” at any one time. His e-mail list kept growing and eventually included top-level executives who were also eager to know what was going on. Marc moved up to become a literary manager with an independent management/ production company, and a year later, left to begin his own management firm.

Being in such a competitive business, it’s rare to find people generous enough to gather and share so much information with so many. And not only has this information been the source of jobs and valuable connections to countless others, but building his massive network, helping others and making the effort to get to know as many people as he can has also been a key element to his own success. His first job as a literary manager was a result of sending out an e-mail asking if anyone knew of any openings. He now uses the same network in searching for clients and screenplays.

Marc was the first one I heard say, “It’s not just who you know, it’s who knows you.” And he was able to get his name out with every single e-mail he sent—e-mails that, at one time, went to 6,600 individuals who would then forward his information on to others in their own network.

Jeffrey Gund has a similar story. Jeff is a composer and sound designer, and I knew his name long before I had ever met him. I’d be sitting at the sign-in table at crowded FIN meetings and would ask people I didn’t recognize if this was their first meeting and how they had heard about us. A frequent response was, “I’m a friend of Jeff Gund’s.” Attendance was always higher when Jeff’s friends showed up, and I soon learned that, like Marc Hernandez, Jeff had a very special e-mail network, and he was kind enough to pass on our meeting notices. He also had a lot of friends.

I finally met Jeff, a nice, soft-spoken guy who would come to FIN meetings when he could. I eventually asked him if he’d put me on his famous list and also if he’d come to speak to my USC students about networking.

Jeff’s Info List, as he calls it, started out small. He simply read about a job in the trades he thought a couple of his friends might be interested in hearing about. Or he’d hear about a seminar or networking event or party, and he wanted to share the information. Pretty soon, his friends were forwarding the information on to their friends, and Jeff would be at a party, and someone would mention his e-mail list, and then a handful of people would ask if they, too, could be added to the list. This “list” soon became well known, and organizers of events and seminars started offering discounts to Jeff’s friends if he’d send out their notices, because once out on Jeff’s network, a good turnout was certain.

Jeff eventually ended most of his e-mail announcements with, “mention my name at the door,” or “when you RSVP, let them know you’re a friend of Jeff Gund’s.” He was able to get his name out there while allowing others to benefit from the information and the discounts. Jeff eventually started co-sponsoring events and parties, and his endorsement of any function was like gold.

Of the over 4,000 individuals on his e-mail list, Jeff knows a great number of them and is endeavoring to meet as many of the others as he can. Some end up on the list through a referral, so it’s not surprising that several know his name before they know his face, like the woman he met at a party once. He struck up a conversation with her, and after a while, finally got around to introducing himself. After he said, “Hi, my name is Jeff Gund,” she proceeded to say, “No, you’re not!” It took him a while to convince her of who he truly was.

Jeff spends a large portion of every day sorting through a tremendous amount of incoming seminar, party, casting and job notices; deciding what to send out and adding new names to the now many lists broken down by where people live, what their particular interests are, etc. He has never charged anyone to be on his list, and to be able to keep it that way, he’s currently seeking corporate sponsorship. Only recently has Jeff started receiving small fees for promoting certain events. Other than that, he’s never been compensated for the endless hours he puts into this benevolent enterprise.

The purpose of the Info List remains to help others. The only e-mail Jeff has ever sent out on his own behalf was when he needed to move and asked for suggestions on apartment availabilities. Yet, while it takes up a good part of each day, and he has never directly asked for job leads for himself, work has definitely come his way as a result of his unselfish efforts. This, he was recently happy to tell me, has included a couple of truly exceptional high-level opportunities, which I was extremely pleased to hear about, because if anyone deserves a fabulous opportunity, it’s Jeffrey Gund.

Anyone (meaning you, too) could start an e-mail list like Marc and Jeff did within your circle of friends, co-workers and contacts, or you could find your own way to give something back and provide a valuable service to others. It just requires a commitment of time and a desire to help. And while there is a considerable amount of responsibility associated with this type of undertaking, the rewards are equally considerable. Because in addition to the new friends, sense of community, gratification at helping others and/or the connections and job leads that come from it—the effort itself exemplifies the true meaning of networking.

The Giving Part of Networking

No matter where you are in your career, and even if you don’t know enough people to start your own e-mail networking list, you can always find something of yourself to give to others. If you’re a computer whiz and someone you know is having a computer problem, offer to help. If you hear of a job opening that isn’t right for you but might be right for someone else, pass on the lead. If you hear of a seminar or a networking event you think a friend or classmate might get a lot out of, forward the information or invite her to go with you to the function. If someone you’ve met on a job is moving, offer to help schlep boxes.

The best and easiest way to give in this business is to volunteer. Give as much time as you can afford, by working as an intern, volunteering at industry-related charities or events, giving a day or two a week to your local film commission office, getting involved with industry-related organizations or helping out at networking functions. Even coming to work early and staying later than expected for no additional salary is a way to give of yourself and help others. And if there are no networking organizations or film clubs where you live, start one.

This is a very comfortable way to meet people, make valuable connections and get noticed without having to utter one single word about the fact that you’re looking for work or hoping to move up in your career. Once people get to know you, like you and appreciate the time you’re putting in to help out, they’ll just naturally want to get to know you better. And as you get to know one another, and possibly become friends, what you’re looking and hoping for will become a natural part of your conversation. And once again, let me remind you that in this business in particular, people help and hire the people they know, the people they hang out with and the people they like.

Granted, giving of yourself, volunteering and helping out whenever possible is an investment in your career; but you have to do it willingly, openly and from the heart. If you do it solely for the purpose of getting what you can from others, your disingenuousness and insincerity will eventually become evident. When you willingly help others, then others are happy to help you. If they see you as selfish and only out for yourself, you won’t get far.

The “How To” Part of Networking

Every summer as my USC course winds down, I ask for suggestions as to what I could do the following summer that would make the class better. A couple summers ago, a student of mine named Andy Stoll said that throughout the course I stressed how vital it is for them to network, stay in touch and continually meet new people, but beyond the steps needed to set up a general information meeting, I didn’t go into enough detail as to how to network. I realized Andy was right. Knowing it’s important isn’t the same as knowing how to do it. The following section provides some useful tips on how to network.

Dealing With Shyness: I’m well aware of how painfully tough it is for some people to even show up at functions and walk into a room full of strangers. They know they should, that it could be helpful to their careers, but it’s terrifying. Every once in a while I will see someone walk into a FIN meeting, find a seat in the very last row and stay there until the program is over, leaving quickly afterward, so they won’t be expected to mingle and talk to others.

I believe there are different reasons for shyness. You may have grown up without having learned certain social skills. You may, as many of us do, fear possible rejection. It could also just be part of your intrinsic personality. I used to worry much more about rejection than I do now, but I also still think of myself as a shy person. Several who know me might laugh at that remark, but teaching, standing in front of a microphone, going to functions where I don’t know anyone and just meeting new people is a continuing challenge for me. I almost didn’t get into teaching because of my dread of public speaking and for fear of what my students might think of me. Would my high, little voice lack authority? Would I sound knowledgeable enough to convince them that I knew what I was talking about? When I turned my back on them to write on the blackboard, would they think I had a big butt? Go ahead and laugh, but when you’re insecure, these are the kinds of things you worry about.

But I really wanted to teach, so I pushed myself to do it. And although it gets easier each year, I’ve never gotten over that same first-day-of-school fright I felt as a kid when I stand before a new group of students every summer. I’ve read books where authorities discuss ways to conquer shyness, but I think that, for some of us, it’s something that can never be totally conquered, although there are definite steps one can take to make it a lot less onerous.

If it’s rejection you’re worried about, you just have to take the risk. The first step to taking control of your career is to venture out of your comfort zone. Easy to say, hard to do at first, but once you start, you’ll see. It’ll get easier, and it’ll be well worth the effort. If it’s a case of learning proper social skills, this chapter should help; but there are also countless numbers of easy-to-find books and resources devoted solely to the topic. If you’re fundamentally shy, do as my brother Peter suggests when facing something difficult, and that is to merely put one foot in front of the other and start walking in the right direction. No matter what the reason, in this business, interacting with others is a necessity; so there’s no hiding in a corner behind the huge palm plant and refusing to come out. It’ll get easier with time, and opening yourself up to new people and new experiences will truly make a difference in your career, as well as in your life. To help you get over this hump, here are suggestions for attending an event where you won’t know anyone.

• Ask the hosts if they need any help and volunteer at the event (by helping out at the sign-in table, helping with refreshments, handing out brochures, etc.). This gives you a specific job and a reason to greet and interact with others.
• Ask a friend to go with, and once you’re there and a bit more comfortable, split up.
• Introduce yourself to the host or group organizers, who are usually more than happy to introduce you to others.
• Approach someone standing alone in the back of the room who looks as shy as you. He’ll probably be the easiest to talk to.
• Realize it’s not considered rude should you wish to approach a group of people and join in on their conversation.
• Be the first to say hello.
• Start with a smile, a warm handshake, and just say, “Hi . . . my name is ________________.”
• It’s perfectly okay to admit you’re shy.
• Set a reasonable goal for yourself to get to know just two new people at the event.
• Try to relax and have a good time!

Body Language: When out to meet new people, your body language will let others know how approachable you are. For instance, standing in a corner with your arms folded across your chest and your eyes focused on your shoes is a good way to say, “I’d really rather be left alone!” On the other hand, open arms, a smile, direct eye contact and a warm handshake upon introduction equates to, “I’m ready and willing to meet you.” When sitting with someone, leaning back and looking bored, distracted or looking around to see if there’s someone else you’d rather be talking to tells the other person he’s not terribly interesting, and you’d rather be elsewhere. Leaning slightly forward, making direct eye contact and nodding occasionally will indicate that you’re listening and interested. Along the same lines, a friendly tone of voice goes a long way to make others feel at ease.

Preparing for Small Talk: Do some research before attending an event. One way is by reading the trade papers and catching up on the latest industry news, what movies are hot, who recently scored a five-picture deal at a certain studio, what this week’s box office numbers were. If there’s going to be a guest speaker at this event, get on the Internet and find out whatever you can about this person. If the event is sponsored by a particular organization, learn as much as you can about the group. Know what’s going on in the world. Come prepared with topics in mind.

Starting a Conversation:

• A simple “Hi, my name is _______________” is always a good way to start.
• “So what end of this crazy business are you in?”
• “Tell me a little about yourself.”
• “You look like someone I should know.”
• “We’ve never met, but I’m a big fan of your work.”
• “That speaker was terrific, wasn’t he?”
• “I’ve never seen you at any of these events before. Is this your first one?”
• “This is my first time here. Have you attended any of these seminars before?”
• “Are you a member of this organization?”
• “I’m new in town. Have you lived here long?”
• “Amazing how the latest Jude Law movie is doing. Have you seen it yet?”
• “Did you get stuck in that horrendous traffic, too?”
• “I love your outfit!”

Remembering Names: If you’re like me, you forget a person’s name within two seconds after it’s told to you. To help you remember, when introduced to someone new, repeat his name to yourself five times. Then rhyme it with something and/or think of someone else who has the same name. It’ll help if you can say his name out loud, as in, “Hi, Joe. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Communication Assets:

• Passion! Excitement!
• A warm smile and a warm handshake.
• Be sure to make eye contact.
• Start a conversation instead of waiting for someone to talk to you.
• Introduce the person you’ve just met to others, so she doesn’t have to do all the work herself.
• Be positive.
• Be charming.
• Be fun to be with.
• A well-groomed appearance.
• Good manners and respect for others.
• Be genuinely interested in and curious about the people you’re talking to.
• Ask questions.
• Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves (most people like talking about themselves).
• Be genuine.
• Have an opinion, but respect the fact that everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs, even if they’re not beliefs or opinions you share.
• Discover common interests and experiences.

Communication Liabilities:

• A dour-looking face.
• A negative attitude.
• Taking yourself too seriously.
• Having to be the center of attention.
• Showing up in inappropriate clothing.
• Talking too loudly (or too softly).
• Talking down to someone.
• Smoking.
• Drinking too much.
• Excessive use of foul language.
• Overdoing the name-dropping.
• Bad jokes.
• Bad manners.
• Kvetching and whining.
• Being overly critical.
• Talking too much (or too little).
• Looking everywhere else but at the person who’s talking to you.
• Getting too familiar (physically or verbally) with someone you’ve just met.
• Having such forceful opinions that you leave no room for friendly discussion or differing views.
• Interrupting.
• Bad-mouthing or gossiping about others (you never know when the person you’re talking to could be a friend of the person you’re talking about).
• Starting every sentence with “uh,” “like,” “man,” “dude” or “you know.”

Saying Good-Bye:

Whether it’s just time to go or you’re not connecting with the person you’re talking to, here are some suggestions for ending a conversation:

• “It was a pleasure meeting you. Good luck with your current project. I’ll look forward to running into you again at another one of these functions.”
• “You’ll have to excuse me, but there are a few other people I haven’t had a chance to say hello to yet.”
• “Nice talking with you, but if I don’t get out of here soon, I’ll turn into a pumpkin.”
• “Please excuse me. I have to say hello to a friend.”
• “You’ll have to excuse me. I need to get something to eat. Nice meeting you.”

If you’ve just met someone you’d like to stay in touch with, exchange cards, phone numbers and/or e-mail addresses, and say something like:

• “I think we have a lot in common. How about getting together for lunch one day next week?”
• “I’d like to continue our conversation. Would you mind if I called you in a day or two to set up a lunch or coffee date?”

Tips from Heather

My writer-producer-instructor-author-lecturer-consultant-mentorfriend Heather Hale is in the process of writing a book about networking. Because she’s such a wealth of valuable information, I’ve asked Heather to let me share a couple of her extremely helpful suggestions with you. It’s advice that makes a great deal of sense and is incredibly useful.

HH Tip #1: Not all networking is equal. You may be going to networking events, but are they the right events for you? Are they serving you well? Are you making the right connections? Make an effort to meet and network with the people who have the ability to take your career to the next level—not just with the people you work with all the time or the people who do what you do.

HH Tip #2: If meeting new people is uncomfortable for you, and you’re feeling hesitant about attending a networking event, take a friend along and work as a tag team. Split up when you get there, and have your friend introduce herself to and strike up a conversation with the person you would most like to meet. After they’ve been talking for a while, walk up to your friend, and let her introduce you. Addressing the other person, she’ll say something like, “Oh, do you know ________________________ _?” (meaning you) and then possibly add a comment or two relating to what you do, a recent accomplishment of yours, why you two should get together—you get the picture. It’s a great way to meet and let someone you’d like to know, know about you, without having to do the hard part. Just be sure to repay the favor by doing the same for your friend.

Your Network

Here is a form to help you keep track of the people in your network.