chapter 7
Get moving
I am writing this chapter from a luxury cruise ship in the Galapagos Islands. I am sitting in the dining room looking out as we pass a beautiful, rocky outcrop where thousands of exotic birds mate, penguins and turtles swim and sea lions lounge on the white sand beaches.
We have just spent the morning snorkelling and exploring, and after a hot shower I have some free time before a delicious lunch is served. I am sipping herbal tea and eating chocolates, and loving the fact that this is my life, and because we review tours and cruises, this is my work!
Rewind to four years ago when I was sitting in the kitchen-office of my shared house, working seven days a week on my projects. I had huge debts and struggled to pay my rent — let alone the bills. The idea of a social life was so far from reality that I slowly trained my friends not to call me for events, parties and fun. I was always working.
I bought festival tickets and concert tickets and then sold them the week before I should have gone because I couldn’t afford to go.
I worked and worked and didn’t seem to be achieving anything. I was going in circles with project after project, passionate about many things but with no clear direction. I was feeling lost at sea.
How did I get from one extreme to the other?
What is the secret?
First, there is no secret. There is an old saying that goes, ‘your luck in life is made up of 80 per cent hard work, 10 per cent luck and 10 per cent talent’.
After the experiences of the past 10 years of my life, I would say that this is absolutely true.
But to go from nothing to something, you need to get the ball rolling.
The seeds of momentum
Think of an idea or a goal as the seed of an apple tree. The seed is small, yet the promise of what it could become is much bigger.
But that something bigger is only possible if you take the seed, discover what conditions apple trees need for growing, plant the seed in a good spot, water it, ensure it has the right nutrients, and protect it from disease and being trampled on or eaten when it is small.
Once it reaches a certain stage the tree will be big enough that it is no longer as vulnerable as before. At another point, it will bear fruit and all of your efforts will pay off when you can pick it and sell it or make it into apple crumble.
At this stage, you could even consider planting an orchard to expand the results of your efforts. But even if you get busy and ignore your first tree, it may propagate itself over time and new trees will spring up around it without your help and input.
This is called momentum.
The process of creating momentum starts when you plant the first seeds; and this is what we focus on now to get one of your dreams on the path to reality, just as Randall did in this story.
Building momentum
When starting new projects many people expect to see results immediately and if they don’t, they give up. The problem with this is that you never know how long it will take for your project to gain momentum until momentum actually starts occurring.
Once you are doing everything you know has to be done, there is usually a point where things start to get exciting and where your project starts to take on a life of its own. Depending on the size and longevity of your project, this can happen many times, but the first time, especially if you have been working on it for some time, is often the sweetest.
When we decided that we would visit inspiring people in Latin America and film their stories, there were a lot of unknowns for us — in fact, all of it was unknown!
We knew what we wanted to achieve but only had a few of the skills, contacts and resources we needed to make it a reality.
We were starting a new project from scratch, so there was no momentum. We knew our project’s success would depend entirely on our passion and hard work to begin with, and along the way, if we kept up the intensity, we would start to build momentum.
Sometimes, though, a lot comes down to luck. I talk about luck a lot. I am lucky to have been born with health and parents who loved me. I am lucky to have had the experiences I had as a child and the opportunity to travel. I am lucky for the bad experiences as well as the good, as I learned many lessons and lived to tell the tale. I am lucky that I have not been hit by a bus or fallen in a pothole! I am lucky that I have a reasonable degree of intelligence and can articulate myself in a way that I am understood by most of the people I communicate with.
To add to that, I truly believe the harder you work, the luckier you get.
The harder you work, the more opportunities present themselves, and the more willing you are to make the most of them.
The harder you work, the more you put yourself out there and the more momentum you build.
The harder you work, the more likely you are to reach your goals.
Hard work does not guarantee you anything, but it certainly gives you more chances of success.
But what if you are inherently lazy?
Procrastination, laziness and avoidance all give you similar results: a lack of power to achieve the things you want to achieve in life.
For some people this is such a strong habit that you avoid even having goals in the first place. You may dumb down the urge with alcohol, drugs or anger, or just pretend that you don’t care. But this can be hard work too!
It is hard work to spend your whole life pretending not to care and pretending that you are not suffering by living an unsatisfying life.
Would you prefer to work hard on exciting goals that have the potential to bring you great satisfaction and a fulfilling lifestyle, or would you prefer to work hard suffering through your unfulfilled existence?
It’s your choice.
I believe humans have an inherent need to contribute, relate, learn and achieve. When you are not contributing, relating, learning and achieving, you leave the door open for dissatisfaction and depression. Creating a lifestyle where you are needed, useful and appreciated in the world is a powerful experience that will help ensure a fulfilling life.
What do you really need to know?
It is normal not to know what you are doing when you embark on a new project or set a new goal. That feeling will disappear as you get more experience and gain more knowledge. It is amazing how much you can learn in six months or one year, so the sooner you start, the better — regardless of how ready you feel you are.
When working towards any new goal, I write a list of all the things I will need to know in order to be successful and, against that, what I already know and have experience in. Invariably, you find out more about your needs along the way, but it helps to start somewhere.
Once we began working out what we needed to know and started to take the actions to get what we needed, there was a huge bunch of practicalities that made the project still feel illusive. For example:
- What would we need to take?
- How much would everything cost?
- How would we carry or transport all the stuff we needed?
- Who might be interested in joining our team and how would we find them?
- How would we manage the whole project?
- How would we stay connected to keep my business running?
- What is the best way to film a mini-documentary?
- Would we need a whole new website or could we incorporate Five Point Five into something we already had?
The list went on and on and on!
We kept a running list of these practicalities and addressed each of them in turn by asking around and finding people who were nearly always very willing to help us with the answers.
Action: list what you need to learn and the practical issues to address
Write a list of things you will need to learn and discover along the way. Also, consider the practical issues you will need to work through in order to get your project off the ground and keep it moving forward. Add to these lists and mark things ‘complete’ as you go. Let’s use the sailing example again.
| We need to learn and gain experience in: |
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| Practical issues: |
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Knowledge is a distraction
Have you noticed that we have an obsession with information? We are looking for more, more, more — often we will forgo what we are supposed to be doing or are paid to be doing, in order to read more, consume more and learn more.
The problem is that only so much knowledge will help you fulfil your dreams; everything else is a distraction. However, we often use our lack of knowledge or experience as a (seemingly) valid excuse for not taking action.
I often speak to people who are putting off getting started because they need to get one more degree or qualification. Unless your dream is to be a surgeon or something requiring a specialty skill or specific experience, there is usually a way to get started right now, in some way. If more knowledge is really essential to your dream being fulfilled, consider how you can create momentum while you do the necessary training or learning.
The problem with knowledge in general is that it does not make a huge difference to your chances of success. Take fitness, for example. Most unfit people know how to get fit, but knowing makes no difference! It is not until you put on your runners and get out there every day that you will actually experience what it feels like to be fit and healthy. Only then will you start to see a change in your muscle tone.
It is the reason university graduates often do internships and work for free. Their education will help them understand important concepts and get their foot in the door, but the real learning is the experience of working in the real world, with real situations.
I experienced this firsthand when I arrived in Australia. I was 21 and my new employer hired me because I had the specific experience he was looking for. All of my new colleagues were in their thirties and forties, well educated, mostly male and not at all impressed with this young high-school dropout in their midst.
At 21, most people my age were finishing university and looking for jobs. I, however, had six years of work experience and career progression and found myself playing with the big kids.
In the game of life, you will only create momentum and give yourself a chance of fulfilling your dreams by taking action. Regardless of how much knowledge you have you still have to take the first step … and then the second step.
As a coach, I have spoken to hundreds of people about getting started. Not one of them had to wait to get started on their dream project, regardless of their level of knowledge. This applies even for the complete newbies.
People are often shocked by how simple it would be for them to get started on the parts they can start now. You don’t have to change the world overnight. Getting started, in most cases, is as simple as choosing a name for your project or making some phone calls.
People often look at a big goal and then get stopped by the enormity of it all. But everything can and must be done in small steps. Don’t get overwhelmed by what you want to accomplish — just consider what you can accomplish today. If you are time-poor, get up 30 minutes earlier every day and get started. In a world of busy people with limited resources, some will rise to the top and succeed at the things they dream of. There is no reason why it shouldn’t be you.
Discover and create opportunities
When striving for the seemingly impossible, you need to pull at the resources available to you and look for new opportunities. Opportunities come in many shapes and forms and there are usually as many opportunities as you have thoughts in your head. If you lack opportunities, you are probably not being creative or bold enough to look for them.
The more you look, the more opportunities you will see and be able to take advantage of. There will literally be thousands. Being creative about recognising the opportunities you have will give you plenty to choose from, and when you have plenty to choose from you can keep taking action and keep building your momentum.
There are opportunities out there to help overcome every challenge you face. If you can’t see them, start having conversations with other people, as it’s often the case that other people can see what you can’t. Don’t stop talking and asking until you can see a way out of the difficulty or challenge you face.
When looking for opportunities it pays to go wild — consider every opportunity, however outrageous. If you don’t have the money to achieve your goal, for example, look at how you can raise the money, or look at how you can do it with no money. If you don’t have the expertise to achieve your goal, look at who does and consider what you could exchange for their expertise.
Hearing no will not break the skin
My philosophy about creating opportunities is: ‘Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want’. The worst thing people can say is no.
Opportunities are there for the making and taking. The only thing stopping you is the bounds of your imagination and the confidence to ask for what you need to succeed.
If you are going to create a life-changing project, it is likely you will need or benefit from outside help along the way. Being able to ask for what you want and need is something that will be enormously beneficial. As humans we tend to avoid asking things of people if we fear they may say no. For many people no is the worst thing they can hear — in fact, some people experience the word no as a total rejection. Some people experience a no as if they have been physically attacked.
As a result, we often find ourselves reluctant to say no and we are terrified of hearing no to our requests. Living this way will not help you or your project!
If your project requires sponsors, partners, funding, fundraising, mentors, supporters, fans or any form of outside assistance, there will be times when you need to be able to make requests.
To get what you want, you must ask for what you need until someone says yes. Even though it may seem terrifying, there is no risk in asking. As I said before, the worst they can say is no! However much it sucks, hearing no will not pierce your skin or give you a nosebleed. It will not make you collapse or put you in the hospital.
In my experience, there are only a finite number of nos until you get a yes. It could be one, dozens or even hundreds, but you will get there if you persist.
The new kid on the block
If you are new to the scene that will be the focus of your project, it helps to immerse yourself in it and surround yourself with people involved in it. You are far more likely to find exciting opportunities if you are talking about your project with people who already have an interest in what you are doing.
There are plenty of ways to get involved. Online you could write a blog, join relevant forums and be part of the conversations related to what you’re doing. You can also start conversations with like-minded people on Twitter or with members of relevant Facebook groups.
In person you can do courses, have coffee with people of interest and attend relevant events and gatherings.
The more you are involved, talk and mingle, the more comfortable you will be in your new community and the more opportunities will present themselves to you.
If you are new, it also helps if you are generous with your time and know-how. The more you can contribute to your new community, the quicker you will build relationships and become an essential part of the crew.
Stretch your limits
The life you are living right now is a function of how big or small you have dared to dream so far. Your highs will be dizzying — or not — depending on what you consider to be possible and doable. Your lows very much depend on the strength of your fears and expectations.
External influences impact us all, and often, and we can do little to control them. What we can impact is how we react, our mindset, our actions and our belief in our own potential.
To achieve goals that are bigger than you previously thought possible, you must behave differently and do more than you previously thought possible. This stretch may be painful or joyful; it may be exciting or terrifying. Your experience of it will depend entirely on your attitude towards going beyond the point where you would normally give up.
To expand the realm of what is possible, you must expand your expectations and the amount of energy you are willing to put in. This will create bursts of new opportunity, excitement and results, which, over time, will change the way you look at the world.
If you are reading this book you are probably interested in expanding your life in some way. This is a good start for stretching your limitations! As well as taking on a life-changing project, here are some other ways you can stretch your limits.
Do things you wouldn’t normally do
Are there things you ‘don’t do’? We generally don’t do certain things because we are afraid of them in some way. I have met people who won’t try new foods, dance, travel or drive on motorways. I have met people who, at 25, say they would never get married or have kids. I have met people who want to write but would never blog, and people who would rather eat their own arm (so to speak) than learn how to meditate. Basically there are many things that most of us have eliminated as possibilities or opportunities because, even without having experienced them, we have decided they are not our thing.
I had a fear of public speaking, both to audiences and to a camera. This has plagued me my entire life. At first I just accepted that speaking was for other people. More recently I have challenged and challenged and challenged myself to get some confidence in speaking publicly.
After the positive experience I had with the ‘How to Retire in 12 Months’ challenge I decided to take it more seriously. I booked in with a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) coach and together we set a huge challenge to make me into a public speaker. Meanwhile, my husband (John) and I already had plans to leave Australia, and when we left I suddenly became the presenter in our mini-documentaries and travel reviews.
This was the most awkward part of our new project because I am not a natural-born presenter. In the beginning I was nervous, self-conscious and extremely uncomfortable in front of the camera. The situation was further exacerbated by the fact that it is actually very tough to find picturesque places in foreign cities with no background noise and good light. We would sometimes spend hours walking around or in taxis looking for a suitable spot. Then, after setting up the camera and all the sound gear we would film take after take after take just to get a single minute of introduction for our little films.
On many occasions curious people would come to watch, which just made me more self-conscious, or it would start to rain, or car alarms would go off nearby. All of this stalled the process and made me more anxious. If there was a lot of drama, John would start to get frustrated, and I would get even more flustered because he was frustrated. Then every week or two we would do it all again!
At one point I presented an introduction to a hotel and we got it on the second take. Two weeks later I presented three introductions. I was sick, but I managed to churn them out like a trooper. Something had changed — I now had experience doing these little introductions on camera and it was beginning to show. It was easier and I was more flexible. I could even be a little creative in the process. I also discovered that it was infinitely better if we were organised about what I needed to say.
Nowadays, if you asked me to talk to a crowded room, or if I was in front of a film crew with giant cameras, I may not be as confident as I am with my own video projects. However, now that I have presented more than 30 stories, I can feel it in my bones that I am a presenter with a year and a half of experience in front of the camera. It may never be something I am truly comfortable with, but I did not let it limit the opportunities available to me and, ironically, presenting is now an important part of my amazing new life!
Look at the things that you refuse to do or are afraid of doing. Make a list of them. Set a date, make whatever arrangements you need to make and then do them! Overcoming the main things that stop you will completely stretch your limits and open many doors that you never thought possible. I recently printed business cards and on them I added ‘Presenter’ to my previous titles of ‘Business Coach’, ‘Writer’, and ‘Blogger’. This innocuous little word on my card was a victory over a lifelong fear.
Learn something you’ve always wanted to learn
Another way to stretch your limits is to immerse yourself in a brand-new skill. Learning something exciting will add spice to your life and remind you that you are never too old to learn something new. In my twenties I started to mourn the things I had not learned when I was a child: another language, the guitar, how to knit, graphic design and my multiplication tables, to name just a few!
In my thirties I stopped mourning and starting learning: learning a new language, learning new skills and being crafty again. Some things have been a lot of work to learn! I have been slowly learning Spanish for one and a half years and I find it hard. Harder still because I was absent from school when they taught much of the structure of the English language!
What I am finding is that after a few years of learning exciting new things, I feel like I am learning faster now. It feels like my brain needed to remember what it was to be a child when everything was new and seemingly much easier to learn.
To stretch your limits, choose one thing that you have been aching to be good at. It doesn’t matter what it is, but it has to be something that is exciting to you. Find a teacher, buy the books, tools or instruments you need and/or register for a course that will give you the basics.
Twelve months from now you will have an exciting hobby that could even lead to a fulfilling career, business or new way of life. In addition, it will boost your confidence that you can learn new things, all of which will help you move towards achieving your dream life goals.
Practical steps for success
Here are seven practical steps to get you and your project moving on the path to success.
1 Contact people who could help you
The more people you speak to, make requests of, connect with and inspire with your project, the more opportunities will come your way. Remember, for every call you make, the worst they can say is no. On the flipside, every person you speak to has the potential to open the door to opportunities that could either take it to new levels, in exciting new directions, or help you solve some of the challenges you are facing at any given moment.
2 Prioritise
It’s time to get straight about your life: there are things that are crucial to health, happiness and fulfilment, and there are plenty of things that we obsess over and waste time doing that are not crucial to our success.
Yes, it is nice to have a clean house and all the washing done and to have a lovely shine on the car. But will you think about that on your death bed? Is it really worth stressing over and choosing instead of your dreams? If you were achieving the goals on your bucket list, what would become less important?
In my experience, a huge number of the things that were important to me are no longer important now that I am living a life that I designed. The reality is that if you need to find an extra two hours a day to make your dreams come true, you have to give up two hours of what you may have been doing otherwise. That may be time that you would otherwise spend shopping, cleaning the house, socialising, reading, watching television, surfing the internet, or talking on the phone.
Do what you need to do to make the time to pursue your life-changing projects. Change your habits, prioritise what you must do and then figure out solutions for the rest.
We have as many options as we can think of, so if you are feeling trapped with your responsibilities, get creative! Brainstorm 20 ways you could approach a situation. Go wild with possible alternatives. Some may end up being too fanciful or silly, but at least you are seeing the options. And you never know, some of the most outrageous alternatives may actually be possible, so don’t limit yourself to doing things the way you have always done them.
3 Get other people involved
Build a team of people to lead and/or participate in growing your project and achieving its goals. Somewhere along the way we, in this modern, so-called civilised First World, gave up our place in communities and became millions of individuals surviving our lives by ourselves in our own little worlds. This is not conducive to success.
Building a community of people involved in your project makes it a lot easier to realise your goal and it’s so much more fun to celebrate the win with them all.
For the majority of people this is not easy. You need to rely on people, be a leader and be open to suggestion and contribution. In turn, you need to be reliable, allow others to lead and be keen and willing to contribute in new ways. None of these things are taught in mainstream schools, but they are so critical to our success in life.
Interpersonal relationships are often fraught with miscommunications, misunderstandings and a lack of empathy. You may be working with the loveliest people in the world, but each person comes with their perspective, experience and judgements. When the relationship works, your project can happen like sunshine and lollipops; when it doesn’t, it can drag your project down into the depths of failure and despair.
Finding the right people for your project and understanding how to work well with them is something you will need to learn along the way. An added difficulty here is that because we are seldom trained for this, you will probably screw up from time to time! Long term, however, mastering the skills associated with team building and teamwork could be the difference between success and failure. These skills will enable your project to grow and positively impact your whole family or dozens, hundreds or thousands of lives, as well as your own. Now wouldn’t that be awesome!
4 Jump out of bed in the morning
Are you someone who drags yourself out of bed in the morning? Do you press ‘snooze’ five times before you get up? For many years, getting up was the most painful part of my day. Several years ago someone told me that they tried a new way to start the day. As soon as they became conscious in the morning, their first thought was to jump out of bed and shout, ‘Bring it on!’ I thought this was just crazy enough that it could work. I decided that instead of suffering for 30 minutes in the morning before I got up and then suffering until I had a coffee, I would jump out of bed excited about the day. I would consciously choose to enjoy waking up.
Now, this didn’t quite happen every day, but over the course of the next few months I became a morning person. I trained myself to have energy in the morning and to be excited about getting up. This is something that has completely altered my life! Now when I wake up, my brain switches on with excitement in the mornings and if I get something done first thing, I have a sense of achievement all day that inspires me to be more productive.
Do I do this all the time? No! But I realise now that I can control how well my days go. I am no longer a victim of mornings. Years after discovering this I live with completely different expectations of myself. It is also a powerful reminder of just how important it is that you give yourself the right messages and are responsible for each part of your existence — even the bits that you feel victim to.
5 Do things you wouldn’t normally do
Your comfort zone is like the dead zone of what is possible in your life. If you continue to strive for what you already know is possible, you are training your brain to stop developing. To make the impossible, possible, you must habitually challenge your idea of what is possible. If you are constantly challenging yourself, you will allow your dreams to get bigger and bigger and this is what will give you the possibility of life-changing and thrilling adventures.
So learn new things, and put yourself in new and uncomfortable situations every day. Challenge yourself to overcome your fears and put your brain to work. The more you do this, the more excitement and passion you will have for life. Do courses, read books, meet new people, learn new skills and languages, volunteer, help people, encourage the people around you and say yes to things you would normally say no to. The options are endless for what you can do that will challenge you and help you grow.
6 Say yes!
As young kids we are like sponges, open to suggestion, excitement and opportunity. As we grow we are exposed to thousands of experiences, including times when we may have failed or been hurt, or felt embarrassed or disappointed. When something bad happens, we tend to make decisions to help avoid, or defend ourselves against, that kind of result again.
The problem with this ‘safe’ way of living is that it also closes the door to the opportunities you need in order to live the life you want to live. You cut out the bad, but you also cut out the good.
These automatic responses to new things and situations may be the very thing that is stopping you from having the success and life you dream of.
There are lots of things you can do to alter your mindset, but one sure-fire way to shake up your life is to start saying yes — all of the time. Say yes to things that you are afraid of or that you have no time for. Say yes to things you would normally avoid or have never done. Say yes to things that may surprise the people who are asking you.
Also start to notice the times when you cut potential opportunities short because you have already decided how they will turn out based on your previous experiences. If you are looking for an exciting new future that is completely different from your past, you need to see it that way! Your past experiences and memories are no use to you in your exciting new existence and the only way to change is by altering how you behave right now.
Note: for people who always say yes, the opposite may apply here! In this case, say no to things you would normally say yes to. Shake up the world as you know it.
7 Always look for new ways to achieve the impossible
Making the impossible, possible, is something you can get experience in. The more impossible things you make possible, the better you will become at it, and the more you will believe in yourself. Children do this over and over as they learn how to speak, walk, ride bikes and do cartwheels.
My priority is to spend much of my time on my laptop, creating, connecting and writing. I am motivated to get fit from time to time, but have never sustained a good level of fitness. But this doesn’t stop me from taking on big physical challenges occasionally that completely knock me out! My belief in my ability is much stronger than my physical strength and so I am the person who arrives first at the 12-hour volcano climb and then hobbles out last and can’t walk for a week.
During my first trapeze lesson, excitement and adrenalin meant I had more swings than the rest of the group, but my upper body was crippled until just before I took my second lesson.
When we were planning to travel for three years our estimated expenses were much greater than our earnings. As such, it didn’t seem possible that we could sustain the expense of the new project, our lifestyle and everything else for two people. Yet two years later we are still here and going strong.
Developing a habit of achieving the impossible will set you up for the big projects you are interested in. The more impossible things you attempt to achieve, the more likely you are to succeed in the long run. You may not have experience in the project or the challenge itself, but you will have experience in facing challenges in general. Get as much experience as possible in achieving goals you deem impossible and you will find that many thrilling opportunities arrive on your doorstep.