Truth 27. Letters build relationships

Writing a letter of introduction—One of us recently got a snail-mail letter from a doctor who’d taken over a retired doctor’s practice and wanted to keep his predecessor’s patients. He began:

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I am a board certified dermatologist practicing in this area since 2002. I trained at…

And on with more than a page of credentials and a list of dermatology diseases he’s treated that, well, made our skin crawl. The writing is technically fine but fails utterly. It’s the message that doesn’t work—why not?

The doctor appears to have been writing to impress his peers, not prospective patients. Had he considered his audience’s concerns, he might have come up with a content map that includes: I’m a warm, comfortable guy who cares about his patients…my office will be run efficiently and respectfully…and I’m a very good doctor. The writer doesn’t actually need to say he’s a warm person, but he needs to demonstrate it in his writing tone. For example:

Dear Ms. White:

As you know, Dr. Andrew Grant retired in June, and I am taking over his practice. I don’t know you yet personally but want to introduce myself. In addition to bringing strong experience and credentials to Hartley Street Medical, I plan to provide a comfortable, responsive environment…

Notice that once we take the trouble to produce a good lead, the rest readily falls into place. The basic information can be categorized (for example, training, experience, local connections). It is perfectly okay to use subheads or bold lead-ins in a letter, and/or bullets. A good business letter does not necessarily require a narrative flow all the way through.

Of course, a personal salutation and real signature help personalize a letter.

A resignation letter—Suppose you’ve got a new job and it’s time to resign from your old one. Do yourself a favor—don’t use e-mail for this! Usually it’s best to tell your immediate superior in a private meeting and follow up with a formal letter. It will circulate through company channels and be filed forever, remember. So formal business style is the way to go.

What’s your goal? Don’t make it revenge: It’s human to think about getting even for all the small snubs, resentments, and relationship issues that develop over time. But that’s the fantasy—you’re the grownup and have to do what’s best for you in the long run.

Your goals in 90 percent of leave-taking situations should be…

• To ensure you get good references every time you consider a new opportunity.

• To maintain cordial relations with people who remain part of the same industry.

• To leave people feeling good about you—and themselves.

• To leave a foot in the door. You may want to come back someday on a higher level or work for someone who will move on and be in a hiring position elsewhere.

How to do this? Consider it from the other people’s perspective. Unless you’ve been messing up and they’re happy to see you go, they may feel that the company investment in your training was wasted and may also feel let down personally, even abandoned. So you need to express appreciation for the opportunities afforded you, regret at leaving, and positive things about your experience at the company and with the particular person. It’s a good idea to remind everyone that you will remain part of their industry and that they may benefit from putting a good face on your leaving.

Dear Jack:

This is to officially confirm that I will be leaving Martin Brothers effective Friday, May 30.

I will miss many things about the company, which has given me wonderful opportunities to learn and grow over the past five years. Because of this, I am ready to take on a challenging opportunity in the accounting department of ABA Inc.

Continuing in the underwriting business gives me great satisfaction, and I look forward to seeing you and the rest of the executive team at events and professional meetings. It would be terrific if chances to work together develop.

I’ve enjoyed working with you more than I can say. I wish you the best of luck in all your own future endeavors.

What if the work experience and relationships were not so hot and writing such a letter makes you feel like a hypocrite? Before sending a more honest message, remember that leaving on a high note can mend many fences retroactively. One of us had a colleague whose work came under criticism at top levels. Seeing the writing on the wall, Jenn quietly applied for other jobs and landed a good one. She then wrote gracious letters to several key people about how sorry she was to leave and why the new opportunity was irresistible. Result: They were delighted to save face and behaved with equal graciousness. Jenn always gets glowing references from the organization—and a smile when her name comes up.

What if you’re fired or laid off?—The same principle applies—doubly. Look to the future and put a good face on your leave-taking. Don’t come across as angry, pitiful, or vindictive. Maintain your dignity and you’ll reap future rewards, not the least of which is self-respect.

Handwritten notes for great networking—A consultant we know makes a point of knowing what’s happening in the lives of her clients and, whenever she finds a reason, sends handwritten messages on notepaper. For example:

Dear Jerry, I was absolutely delighted to learn that you are this year’s recipient of the Tumblewood Award. The association could not have made a better choice. Your contributions to our industry have been outstanding for many years, and I look forward to applauding them at the awards dinner in June.

Dear Joan: A little bird told me that your son has been chosen as valedictorian of his graduating class. What a terrific achievement—I know how proud you must be. I just had to let you know how happy I am for your family.

Think this is tacky? The writer is always thanked effusively and often finds her notes prominently posted in her clients’ offices. Because few people bother to send such messages anymore—especially handwritten ones—a small investment of time makes her stand out. She connects with clients and colleagues in a far more sustaining way.