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Career Advice for Women Over 50

Women over 50 had a precarious ride through the pandemic months. Work from home created a kind of work-life balance implosion that often manifested itself in stress and burnout, particularly if caregiving was one of the duties. It could be caring for adult children, grandchildren, aging parents, and/or other relatives.

Many women of all ages were unable or unwilling to juggle it all and chose to just step out of the workforce. They had to for their mental and physical well-being. Boomer and Gen X women put their careers on pause. They downshifted. Gallup analysis found that 500,000 more women than men left the workforce during the pandemic.¹

In my case, I didn’t quit work, but I was hanging by my fingernails and hardly sleeping. My 91-year-old mother with dementia lived with me for much of 2020 and was my caregiving responsibility. There is absolutely no way I could have completed my work projects without a flexible schedule. When she was awake, she was always front and center. I was delighted and honored to be there for her.

Bringing women back to work will require employers to amend their flexibility practice for certain and to find ways to support women’s wellness. This will be key with hybrid workplaces and full-remote positions as well. Returnships such as Irelaunch and reacHIRE (reachire.com/), a program that partners with large companies to help women gain skills, training, and mentorship when they return to work after staying home to care for a family member, can help women get back to work and can be critical to making this possible.

CHALLENGES WOMEN RETURNEES FACE

Workplace roadblocks for caregivers are a reality for all ages. This is not new to the postpandemic work environment. Over the years, I have heard regularly from women in their 50s and 60s that they left their jobs to raise kids and later find themselves alone and drifting after the kids are launched and their husbands departed, either due to a death or divorce.

Some have told me leaving the workforce was the biggest blunder they ever made. That kind of remorse is rough to live with, and it’s an honest truth.

For those who lose a job at this age, it can be a rude awakening. It was the shock wave of rejection letters from hiring managers that motivated Guadalupe Hirt and Barbara Brooks, both 50+, to launch SecondActWomen (secondactwomen.com), a Denver-based company designed to help working women in their 50s and older (and some in their 40s) start companies, pivot careers, and stay employed. “The hiring managers didn’t even give us a chance,” Brooks told me when I spoke to her for a Next Avenue column. (Brooks and Hirt were named 2021 Next Avenue Influencers in Aging.)

Both women had long careers as marketing and public relations strategists. Hirt’s focus had been entrepreneurial, founding or cofounding four firms. Brooks had worked primarily for corporations. “Most of our friends were in their 40s and 50s,” Brooks told me. “And I had this aha moment—it was women over 50 saying they wanted to do their own thing. They wanted to live their own life. They were feeling invisible, instead of invincible.”

The women’s organization serves entrepreneurs all over the world who are starting up, looking to grow their business, or starting a side hustle, as well as corporate women who have been laid off and are looking to find a position. They host virtual and in-person peer-to-peer workshops, conferences, retreats, and intensive boot camps. Topics include finances and business planning, personal branding, and business branding.

“We’re getting women to be proud of the age and chapter they are at,” Brooks said. “This is who we are. We are adventurous and we are experienced. We are at the top of the hill, not over the hill. We are asking: ‘What is the next thing I want to do when I grow up?’ It’s so powerful.”

While all the job-hunting strategies that I laid out earlier are essential tools for all workers over 50, women must do the proverbial dancing backward in heels. Women over 50, and heck, probably over 40, face a twofold curse of both gender bias and ageism. Women are still paid less than men in many positions. And I am confident in saying that we typically don’t have equal opportunities for advancement.

Sure, that’s not news to you. It has been part of the fabric of your working life since you accepted your first job. But as you begin to show visible signs of aging when you skip over 50, 60, and beyond, you’re observed through another lens, which is ageism, as are men, but because of the emphasis on looks or “lookism,” as executive coach Bonnie Marcus (bonniemarcusleadership.com) calls it, we experience it earlier than men do.

“I think gendered ageism is under the radar, and we need to build more awareness, similar to the way we built awareness around sexism with #MeToo,” Marcus said.

Don’t Internalize the Negatives

I realize this sounds shallow, but there is such an emphasis on youth and beauty that women have internalized their entire lives that we begin to let those negative sentiments and body-shaming images cloud our sense of self-worth as we age.

We reflexively step away from drawing attention to ourselves by avoiding asking for new duties or challenging projects. We tolerate men talking over us in meetings and taking credit for our work or our ideas. We’re so used to it that in the workplace, we don’t even recognize it’s happening.

It’s been a steady numbness to it. But as the years pass it’s harder than ever to break through.

Over a third of female senior leaders say they’re interrupted or spoken over more than others, compared to 15 percent of male senior leaders and 24 percent of female entry-level professionals, according to the findings of a McKinsey/LeanIn.org report, which surveyed 423 organizations and 65,000 employees. The report calls this a “microaggression.”²

Even after added focus on diversity and racial equity in the workplace, women of color continue to face significant bias and discrimination at work, the researchers found. “While all women are more likely than men to face microaggressions that undermine them professionally—such as being interrupted and having their judgement questioned—women of color often experience these micro-aggressions at a higher rate,” the authors of the report wrote.

Women are still considerably underrepresented at all ranks of management. And on a day-to-day experience at work, “they were more likely than men to have their competence questioned and their authority undermined,” according to this analysis. “Women of color and other women with traditionally marginalized identities are especially likely to face disrespectful behavior.”

Angela F. Williams, 58, the first Black president and chief executive of United Way Worldwide, leading about 1,100 community United Way operations in more than 40 countries and territories, elaborated on this to me. “When you talk about what are some of the challenges as a leader, as a woman, but especially as the Black woman or Black person, when you show up at the table, even if you’re the number one, people still question you, they still challenge your leadership.”

She went a little deeper. “And as a Black female leader, we’re not trying to break through a glass ceiling. We’re trying to break through a concrete ceiling. If you could go back and look at the numbers from the seventies and eighties and fast-forward to now, there has been incremental improvement, but not wholesale improvement. I tell women of color to not be afraid of failure. Don’t be afraid of ‘no’; no is just a word. Do not attach emotion to that word. When you run into an obstacle that’s in front of you, look to your right or left and just walk around. Be comfortable in your skin and be authentic.”

That’s why I created a separate chapter to address these workplace concerns women face. These concerns ratchet up with age and the amount of time out of the workplace. There are no speedy solutions and, in the years ahead, we must press for more ways to urge companies to address the hiring bias and internal roadblocks that have continued too long. Leadership needs to be held accountable in order for progress to truly take hold, both culturally and within formal business practices.

For now, many women can act to make the workplace more equitable. When the time comes to push ahead in your workplace or get back on board where you left off, those negative feelings you may have internalized must be confronted and pushed aside. There is no wiggle room for believing that you need to look young to succeed.

To start, you might keep “a diary and make a note of what triggers you to compromise yourself or give your power away,” Marcus advises the women over 50 she works with.

Women, as they pass 50 in the workplace, need to be tactical and preemptive to resist future pushback and being marginalized. Now that we’re showing outward age signs, we need to be more aware of doing things to stay on the playing field and at the top of our game, Marcus said. One of those things is truly knowing what your talents and skills are and what sets you apart.

TAKE CONTROL

I learned from my 22-year-old niece, Shannon, a shrewd way women can take control. She was new to her job, which was remote-only when she was onboarding. During the first week, her manager had scheduled training sessions for new employees that ran for close to three hours a pop.

She found it difficult to absorb all the new information in a way she felt would set her up for future success. So, she called him. Yes, an actual phone call and was direct in explaining her concerns.

He heard her and acknowledged her clearly defined, logical, not “woe is me” points and promptly dialed back the sessions to a tighter time frame.

Shannon took control. I wish I had that confidence at her age. Why let yourself be set up for failure, if you can speak out politely and with cogent talking points to support what you need to do your best?

Women, myself included, need to take that chance of being told no in order to stay on the job and, frankly, get a job. You can’t just accept what is told to you if you have concerns that will impact your work and your career moving forward.

That clear-eyed sense of being direct and forthright that Shannon showed on her first week is my new motivating image when I start to acquiesce when my gut tells me that something’s not working for me, and, ultimately, my employer.

Speak Up

Many women are hardwired to want people to like us, to go with the flow. In today’s workplace, that habit must get kicked to the curb. Kindness is good, but not standing up for yourself is not.

Support other women your age. Gallup’s research found that women tend to be more effective managers and more engaged workers, and that gender-diverse companies are more profitable. That said, a Gallup random sample found that men are twice as likely as women to have a leadership position.³

“So, if female managers are already bringing all their talents to bear to exceed expectations and advance, speaking up for other women may feel like special pleading. Speaking up for themselves may endanger their entire careers,” the researchers concluded.

So what! Do it! I believe that equipped with the correct negotiating skills, more women will sway their bosses to make them upper-level managers in today’s workplace and to negotiate higher pay and better positions before accepting a position. We all know that once you are inside the gates, pay raises are often marginal at best. It’s that starting salary that makes all the difference. Never give a salary range that you wouldn’t be comfortable accepting if asked in an interview. You can be sure the offer will come in at the low end of your must-have scale.

You’d be foolish to be reticent about negotiating for your own interests. It’s true that in my research, I found that women experience repercussions when they negotiate on behalf of themselves. It’s OK for women to negotiate assertively on behalf of others. It’s the mama bear role of taking care of those who work for us. But when you go at it just as aggressively for yourself, it can backfire.

Get mad. The old iron fist, velvet glove comes to mind. When it’s your own promotion or pay at stake, more than ever you need to stay cool and calm on the outside and tough inside. Do not be dismissed. This is a case of nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go for the gain.

But if it’s a raise you’re after, you will be expected to justify what you’re asking for, period. There’s no soft shoe here. This is an Irish step dance that must be fast and precise, and have a wee bit of stomp.

It requires a list of why you, why now, why you deserve it. You might begin with hard numbers on what others at your level are earning, followed by the scores you’ve accomplished for the employer, say, revenues generated. Goals met. It’s a sum game in black and white that is measurable. No emotion. Just the facts.

Remember if you don’t ask and toot your own horn, your career will stall. Negotiation is not just once a year. It’s ongoing. Asking for more money is just one ask in a continual set of moves to keep abreast of the times. Workplaces are shifting constantly as everyone is adjusting to the new shape of things. It’s your job to take control and steer your own course. No one will do it for you. Asking is not something that’s nice, it’s necessary. So, if you are stuck in the “nice girls don’t talk about money” world, get over it! Today’s workplace will spit you out or ignore you altogether.

One way to get noticed is to ask for those highly visible stretch projects. Men ask for those assignments four times more than we do. To keep your career moving as you charge through the next decade or two, you must constantly demonstrate that you’re achievement-oriented. Time is of the essence; this is not a waiting game.

Look for a sponsor, not a mentor. You want to find ways to work with people you know and who would sponsor you if they saw your work close-up. They’ll help to develop you because they think you are great and they are not put off by your age. But will push you ahead and suggest you for prominent assignments. As Williams told me, this is particularly important for women of color: “Unless you have an advocate, or someone that’s willing to bring you along and introduce you, people of color still don’t have that access to many opportunities.”

Finally, ask for training that can advance you. It can be awkward to request a spot in a personal development workshop when you reach a certain level in an organization or have been there for a significant number of years, but it can benefit your career. The truth is higher-ups and managers often see that as a sign that you’re not slowing down or stepping back. Quite the opposite, you want to keep learning and to discover innovative ways of working for yourself and the organization. That’s a message you want to send.

START A BUSINESS

Women over 50 have been starting businesses at a quicker clip than any other cohort globally. Part of that movement is a reaction to a workplace where women aren’t valued. Without question. the overwhelming need for work-life balance that the pandemic made painfully real has pushed many women to consider starting their own business. When you’re the boss, you can have control.

If you’ve got a good idea, I encourage you to follow that desire. One thing that’s true about being your own boss—age isn’t a drawback. If you have a solid, strong business plan as your base, you’re on your way.

My research has shown that women are successful entrepreneurs because they go slow—which interestingly is one of the same qualities that makes women outperform men as investors over time. We are deliberate. We think things through. No rash moves.

We do our research and homework ahead of time. We’re collaborative. We take baby steps and start in stages. We give a business time to grow. And we tend to stick to our knitting and launch in fields where we have previously worked and have knowledge.

As it is for all older workers, the stories we tell ourselves—that we haven’t been doing anything lately and our skills are sadly behind the times, for example—cling to us and can prevent us from starting a business, getting ahead in the workplace, and getting hired. And more than ever, for women, this can be paralyzing.

One of my best friends, a leading photographer, closed her studio shortly after her daughter was born so she could focus on raising her and being the best mom she could. Her husband was rarely home, so she was predominately raising her solo. Now her daughter is in her 20s and her divorce is final.

She’s 62 and searching. Yes, she can still take an astounding photograph, has a great eye for composition, and is uber creative, but she says she needs to pay an assistant who can do the digital side of the project and will need to buy all new equipment, which costs thousands of dollars. She’s stuck not knowing whether it’s worth it to start all over again.

It is, I tell her repeatedly. I believe in her. But she feels outdated. Candidly, I think she’s afraid of all the effort it will take to ramp up again and not be dependent on someone else to do half of the job for her. What if she isn’t as sharp as she once was?

But mostly it’s that inner story reel that she is replaying again and again. And it begins with “Am I too old to learn these new skills? Do I have the energy to do it? Who is going to hire me?”

I know this is a confidence issue and as soon as she gets back into the studio and starts to learn the technology, she will be pulled back into the work she loves and that brings joy to her life and to others. Her network is still strong in that town, and she’s a star behind the lens. She just needs to believe in herself and get going again—stop cleaning closets and reorganizing her garden shed.

Like my friend, there’s a generation of midlife women in this boat wanting to get back to work. It takes time. My advice for the new workplace is the same as it has been for decades: the best place to start is to understand how all the things you have been doing these past two decades can be repackaged as skills to market to a future employer. If you were caregiving or volunteering, for instance, you were a project manager, a fundraiser, a patient advocate, a bookkeeper, and so on—all transferable skills.

You need to start the conversations with the people around you. Ask people what kind of work they are doing and tell them what you are looking to do. Parents of your children’s friends might offer leads or people for you to talk to.

In my friend’s case, she attended my mom’s funeral, and while talking to my sister-in-law, it came up that my brother and his family were looking for a series of family photos to be taken and asked if she would consider it.

Her answer: Absolutely. They all raved about the pictures. She, of course, was thrilled, and said it was the best day she had had in ages being back at work. But, always humble, she told my brother, “I’m not going to bill you because you are family to me.” Luckily, my brother told her she was out of her mind. Business is business and please send a bill. She felt strange about it, but in the end she did.

Although I encouraged her to bill my brother’s family (he could afford it), sometimes it’s a good strategy to take on a pro bono assignment to recoup your network and have something current to put on your résumé.

In some cases, you need to look at these prospects as passages or building blocks, rather than the occupation you’re going to be engaged in for the next decade or more. When you do land a paying gig, chances are, you will work for less income and a lower title than you did before you stepped out, but the key is to get started and be open to new paths as they emerge.

There are things you can do to allay those fears, like taking classes, for example, on GetSetUp (getsetup.io) or LinkedIn to sharpen your tech skills. Make sure you know Microsoft Office basics such as how to work with Microsoft Excel spreadsheets.

Find a Support Group

Joining a networking group of 50+ women like you looking to relaunch is also a good way to navigate your way into the workplace. You can use these get-togethers, often over a meal, to share your fears and dreams, what you used to love most about your work, and what you hated. If the right group is assembled, it becomes a safe place where you can launch your new chapter of work with the support and encouragement of others in the same situation. It’s empowering. And you are creating a new power network of strong creative women.

For women starting a business at midlife, this strategy is a good one as well. (As it is for all new entrepreneurs, of course, but for women this can be particularly helpful.) Create a diverse cadre of six to eight women and schedule a regular monthly meeting. Each session should have an agenda of at least two solid things each of you must do monthly to build your business; then discuss how that went and add new ones at the next meetup. This helps to develop the fundamentals of answerability and shoring up, which is crucial in the early days of launching. That’s the period when you’re second-guessing your decision and feeling isolated and uncertain. To enlist your group, reach out to women you know on the various social media platforms, including Facebook and LinkedIn, but also in your community.

It doesn’t just have to be startups. Joining together in general to support one another in the new world of work can be transforming for women at midlife.

Step up, reach out, and ask for help. The workplace as well as how and where we work have been deeply transformed by the digital revolution and the pandemic and will continue to change in the years ahead. These changes can make the work environment seem more overwhelming than ever before and make it difficult to imagine how you can ever get back in the groove.

Turn the switch. Embrace it and look for the shining light of prospects created by these revolutions. This is your time, your new beginning, so turn it around to a positive fresh start with lots of road ahead to get it just right. Find the eye of the hurricane and dance in it, to paraphrase singer/songwriter Brandi Carlile.