Leadership: Self-Knowledge
Until the 1990s, South Africa was ruled by its white people in a policy called apartheid. Nelson Mandela came to the front as a leader of the oppressed black people, and for his efforts, he was thrown in prison for 27 years. But he never lost sight of his goal of equal rights for everyone in the country. Pressure from around the world finally led to his release and to the dynamic change in South Africa we see today.
When Mandela was just out of prison, former President Bill Clinton asked him if he felt angry. Mandela said, “Yes, with the joy of being free, I also felt great anger. But, I valued my freedom more, and I knew that if I expressed my anger I would still be a prisoner.”
He didn’t have time to feel like a victim. He was a man on a mission. His identity was tied to his vision, and as he said, “One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.”
His purpose was unwavering as an advocate of freedom and a foe of prejudice, which is why in 1990, in his first speech after being released from prison, he quoted his own words from his 1964 trial statement: “I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
What he wanted to accomplish was anchored in who he was, and he had a firm grip on what we will call his leadership ID. He couldn’t be distracted. In prison, his go-to poem had been Invictus, which states:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Mandela’s path to his goal had a 27-year sidetrack in prison, but he came out in control of his life, and soon in control of his country as a Nobel Peace Prize winning President. All because he knew his leadership ID.
You can live a great life with that kind of certainty.
You wouldn’t think of starting out on a major journey without taking along your identification. Yet, too often, people set out to become leaders without knowing who they really are. We’ve all known people who were passionate to succeed at something, and then gave up their dreams at the first setback. Why does that happen? It happens because these people don’t have solid identities to sustain them when they run into resistance. They don’t have their leadership IDs.
The same principle explains those headline-grabbing stories about leaders—most recently, Enron CEO Ken Lay, Bernie Madoff, and even the leaders of our most hallowed sports programs—whose bad behavior flies in the face of everything they led us to believe about themselves. We wonder, “How could they let that happen?” Again, the answer is that they don’t have a grounded sense of self and values to guide them through critical choice-points in life. They’re traveling without their leadership IDs.
Before you think, “Glad that’s them and not me,” answer a few questions:
• Do you want a leadership ID?
• Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?
• Do you know your purpose in life?
• Do you have a picture of your ideal future?
• Can you articulate your values?
Until you can answer those questions, you’re not fully prepared for leadership, because—you guessed it—you haven’t created your leadership ID.
How Do I Create My Leadership ID?
The creation of a leadership ID begins with desire. We have to want to dig deeper and reach higher. Most of us get stuck doing the same thing over and over, not really going anywhere. We find the beginnings of our leadership ID in those moments when we say, “There’s got to be more to life than this.” Often it begins with pain, when we notice a difference between what we’re doing and what we wish we could be doing.
It’s worth the effort to live your dreams. A wise person once said, “If you find something you love to do, you’re never going to work a day in your life.” When you find a dream that’s connected to what you love, you’ll feel an upsurge of energy. That burst of energy will put you on the road to obtaining your leadership ID. Instead of spinning on the hamster wheel, you’ll begin to go places.
The choice to live your dreams is not a one-time decision. No matter who you are or how high you’ve risen, you’re susceptible to plateau syndrome. Even if you’ve been in your career for many years, finding an area or project that relates to your personal passion will revitalize you and go a long way toward helping you carve out your evolving leadership ID.
The next step in creating your leadership ID is to identify your strengths and limitations. What motivates you? What holds you back?
Let’s use Stedman as an example. In high school Stedman had a lot of shame and anger about his personal circumstances. A lot of his motivation came from wanting to prove that he was someone of value. He did the right thing with his negative feelings, because rather than acting out antisocially, he turned that shame and anger into positive energy in athletics. So, in sports, his greatest liabilities—his anger and shame—became his greatest strengths. Yet, he continued to be frustrated by his lack of progress in other areas. He attributed much of his frustration to racial prejudice. Then, one day it him over the head: His frustration was not about race; it was about him not knowing a process for becoming successful. He didn’t know how successful people thought and acted. He’d been told his roadblocks were about race. He suddenly realized that somebody had sold him a bill of goods, and he had bought into it. If he thought his problem was about race, then there was no way out, because he would be trying to solve a problem that didn’t exist. So, he had to ignore what wasn’t the problem—his racial heritage. Instead of focusing on what he thought had been holding him back, he needed to focus on how he could move forward.
Ironically, the very thing that drove him to succeed in athletics—his poor self-image and low self-esteem—became his limitations when he refused to let go of the pain. Eventually, he could see that the chip on his shoulder was holding him back. Fortunately, he was able to identify his shame and anger, free himself of his negative self-image, and develop a solid self-worth that took him beyond athletics and into the world of business and leadership.
Stedman realized that the secret to un-labeling himself was to not let other people define him, but to define himself and his leadership ID. It was to define himself—to know himself and his leadership ID. He sorted through his strengths and weakness and came to know himself. He thought, “How are you going to get beyond your roadblocks if you don’t have some brand, if you don’t have some base, if you don’t have some foundation that distinguishes you from everybody else? How in the world is somebody going to give you value or give you respect if you don’t stand for something?” He realized it was up to him and that he had a choice. He could decide not to be a victim.
Again, what are your strengths—those things that come to you naturally and that you’re compelled to do? If you have trouble naming them, ask someone who knows you well.
What are your limitations? Here is where the objective opinion of a friend or colleague can be helpful. In a job interview, people are taught to have a glib answer ready, like: “My weakness is that I tend to work too hard.” That sounds good in a job interview—unless the interviewer has heard it forty times before—but it means little. People are prone to be kind in looking at themselves, too. So, a friend who can be candid with you, even if the truth stings a bit, is a friend indeed. You can’t improve unless you have a firm grip on what you have to work with. What if your trait is to charge into new projects with enthusiasm, but soon you taper off on your focus and commitment? If you work on sustaining your drive and interest once that weakness is clear to you, the results could be dynamic.
The next step in forming your leadership ID is to create a personal vision. A vision tells you who you are (your purpose), where you’re going (your picture of the future), and what will guide your journey (your values).1 After all, leadership is about going somewhere.
How Do I Clarify My Vision?
A vision has three parts: your purpose, your picture of the future, and your values.
Your Purpose
Let’s begin with the first part: your purpose. Why did the good Lord plop you down here? If you don’t know the answer to that question, try the following three-step process.2
First, think about some nouns that describe you. For example, Ken Blanchard is a teacher, a coach, an example, and an encourager. What are some nouns that describe what you’re good at? Do you have a good sense of humor? A talent for math? Innate people skills? Write them down.
Second, think of some verbs that describe how you interact with and influence people. For example, Ken helps, inspires, and motivates. Do you teach? Sell? Paint? Write down the verbs that resonate for you.
Third, think about your picture of a perfect world. What would the world look like if it were exactly how you want it to be? Would it be a world where everyone loves each other, where everyone has enough, where the planet is completely peaceful and healthy? Is it a world where everyone is successful and achieving their goals? This picture should not be general or abstract. It should be a mental image you can actually see in your mind’s eye. Write a description of this perfect world.
Now, combine two of your nouns, two of your verbs, and your definition of your perfect world, and you’ll have a good start on a definition of your life purpose. For example, one person’s purpose might read: “To use my humor and people skills”—those are the nouns—“to help and inspire as many people as possible”—those are the verbs—“to be successful in achieving their goals”—that is the perfect world. Ken’s purpose is “to be a loving teacher and example of simple truths who helps and motivates himself and others to awaken to the presence of God in our lives.”
Your Picture of the Future
The second part of your vision is a picture of the future that tells you where you are going if you live according to your purpose. If you don’t know where you’re going, the chances of getting there are slim. Alice learned this lesson in Alice in Wonderland when she was searching for a way out of Wonderland and came to a fork in the road. “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” she asked the Cheshire Cat. “That depends a good deal on where you want to go,” the cat responded. Alice replied that she really did not much care. The smiling cat told her in no uncertain terms: “Then, it doesn’t matter which way you go.” You need a picture of the future to see where you are heading.
A powerful way to hone in on your picture of the future is to write your own obituary. What would you like to be remembered for? A memorable illustration about the impact of an obituary is the story of Alfred Nobel of Peace Prize fame. Alfred wasn’t always associated with peace. During his early career, he was noted for his involvement with dynamite. After his brother died, Alfred was having a cup of coffee and reading the obituaries in the local Stockholm newspaper to see what they said about his brother. Imagine his surprise when he read his own obituary! The paper had somehow mixed him up with his brother and printed an obituary describing Alfred’s work on creating dynamite, one of the most potentially destructive substances known to man. Alfred was devastated to think that he would be remembered only for destruction. From that point forward, he dedicated his life to the cause of world peace. Today, people around the world associate Alfred Nobel with peace—thanks to that premature obituary.
To get you started on developing your picture of the future by writing your own obituary, take a look at Ken’s:
Ken Blanchard was a loving teacher and example of simple truths whose books and speeches on leadership and management helped him and others to awaken the presence of God in their lives. He was a caring child of God, son, brother, spouse, father, grandfather, father-in-law, brother-in-law, godfather, uncle, cousin, friend, and colleague who strove to find a balance between success and significance. He had a spiritual peace about him that permitted him to say “no” in a loving manner to people and projects that got him off purpose. He was a person of high energy who was able to see the positive in any event. No matter what happened, Ken was able to find learning or a message in it. Ken was someone who trusted God’s unconditional love and believed he was the beloved. He valued integrity, walked his talk, and was a mean, lean, 185-pound, flexible golfing machine. He will be missed because wherever he went, he made the world a better place for his having been there.
Some of the things in Ken’s obituary aren’t true—yet—like being able to say “no” more often and being a 185-pound, flexible golfing machine. But that is his picture of the future—how he wants to be known when he closes this chapter of his life.
Your Values
The third part of creating your vision is to identify your values. What are the core values that will guide your behavior as you attempt to live your life “on purpose” and achieve your picture of the future?
When you were a kid, your parents and other adults tended to dictate your values, but at some point in life, we all choose what is important to us. Your boss might value results more than people. You might be the opposite. People don’t all value the same things. Some people value wealth and power, and others are more concerned with safety or survival. Success, integrity, and relationships are values. The following is a sample list of personal values:
When you begin to determine what your values are, you might start with a long list. You probably like a lot of the values just listed, plus others you might think of, but fewer are better, particularly if you want your values to guide your behavior. We have found that having more than four values is too many and can become immobilizing. So, see if you can pick what you think are your most important values. If you’re having trouble narrowing down your top values, you might combine a couple. For example, Ken combined two words to create “spiritual peace” as his number one value, followed by integrity, love, and success. Stedman’s values are reflected in self-leadership, authenticity, integrity, and trust.
Your number-one value is often your core value—something you want to have no matter what you’re doing. If your number-one value is integrity, living without integrity is not an option.
Your values should be rank-ordered. Why? Because values live in dynamic tension with one another. For example, if you value financial growth but integrity is your core value, any activities that could lead to financial gain must be checked against your integrity value.
How do you know when you’re living according to a particular value? You have to define that value as specifically as possible. Let’s take something that you might think is difficult to define, like love. Ken defines this value by how it’s lived: “I value love. I know I am living by this value anytime I feel loving toward myself and others, anytime I have compassion, anytime I feel love in my heart, anytime I feel the love of others, anytime my heart fills with love, and anytime I look for the love of others.”
Let’s take another value, like service. Suppose you value serving others more than having others serve you. How would you define this value? You might say, “I value service. I know I am living this value whenever I look for ways to provide help and assistance to others.”
As you can see from these two examples, the definition of a value is not a concept, but rather a behavior—how you live that value out.
Values are an intrinsic part of your leadership ID. Without them, you won’t know how to respond to those critical choice points that test who you really are. For example, somebody throws some financial kickbacks your way, and you accept them against that gnawing feeling in your gut. If you ask yourself some questions—“Is this in alignment with my values? Is this taking me where I really want to go?”—the answers might reveal that you’re simply being a stimulus-response machine, reacting to the environment and compromising your integrity. With a clear set of values, you can go through any experience with your identity and integrity intact. This is often what separates true leaders from the rest of the crowd.
After you’ve articulated your vision—by identifying your purpose, picture of the future, and values—you’ll be far better equipped to create a leadership ID that can really take you to the places and projects you dream about.
How Do I Sustain My Leadership ID?
Without a doubt, the world will try to push you back into your old routine of doing the same thing over and over every day. The pace of life and the culture we live in makes it easy to react to our days like stimulus-response machines, without vision or purpose. How do you combat those tendencies?
First, keep your focus on producing results. Unless you’re producing results, your leadership is not destined to have a long lifespan. Ask yourself, “What am I going to work on today?” You can have the best vision in the world, but until you begin producing results, your leadership remains untested. If the result you desire is too big, break it down into parts and keep working on each part until the larger goal is achieved.
Let’s say you want to feed the starving people of a particular country, but you haven’t thoroughly researched, so you send them food that is not culturally appropriate. Your vision was okay, but the follow-through failed. You didn’t produce the right results. Or, if you have a brilliant new product, design it magnificently, but don’t anticipate a trend or market conditions, then your vision wasn’t clear. Your focus has to be complete, thorough, and lead to results.
What if you try but still can’t produce the result you desire? That’s when it’s time to get help from others. At some point in our lives, most of us need help to see the bigger picture or overcome what is holding us back. Remember that leadership goes both ways. It’s not just you influencing others; it’s also allowing others to influence you. A key element of validating your leadership identity is becoming secure enough in who you are to accept the influence of others on you.
You might want to think about creating your own tight circle of friends—what some folks call a kitchen cabinet. Ken and Stedman each belong to a group of buddies who meet regularly, individually and as a group, to keep each other on track with direct, honest, unfiltered feedback.
At any point on your leadership journey, keep your eyes open for mentors. Look for people you think are successful and say, “I admire you, and I’d love fifteen minutes to ask your advice.” The worst you can do is break even. If they say yes, you’ve won; if they say no, you’re right where you started. A lot of people are afraid to ask for help because they think if someone turns down their request, they’ve turned them down as a person. The only person that can turn you down is yourself. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” So, reach out and ask for help from a mentor or two.
Very often, mentors pick you; you don’t pick them. Mentors might pick you when they see that you’re trying to develop your potential. They pick you when they see you need help or when you make them feel proud. So, keep your head up and look for people who can help you. When you have your head down and you’re totally self-focused, you’ll miss out on the wisdom and guidance around you.
To sustain your leadership ID, remember to regularly revisit your vision. If the feedback you get is not in alignment with your vision and values, obviously you wouldn’t act on those suggestions. Let’s say you see a large piece of land you think is ideal for low-income housing. But when you research more deeply, the buildings and infrastructure on that spot would seriously harm the environment, would create property value losses for adjacent land owners, or would stumble because of any number of obstacles—from being on a Native American burial ground to being on a methane swamp. A vision is only as good as its sustained ability to come about in a positive way. Hopefully, your values will guide your vision in a way that does more good than harm.
What Happens When I Hit a Roadblock
The journey to your leadership ID is a long one, especially if you keep growing, developing, and moving forward. At every level you have to start over again, develop a whole new skill set, and contend with a whole new array of challenges and roadblocks.
Those challenges and roadblocks are to be expected. They’re part of what makes your leadership journey a transformational experience. The most important thing to remember is that no matter what you confront, you have to stay in the game. Stick with your vision because if you don’t, you can’t possibly expect to make it happen. Or, as athletes like to say, “If you’re not in the game, you can’t win.” If Nelson Mandela can weather a 27-year diversion in prison, come out still focused on his mission, and pick up where he let off, then certainly you can.
Let’s say you are in the music or publishing business and everything you know about realizing your vision gets smacked with a game-changer like digital music and books. Do you throw up your hands in despair, or do you take a couple of deep breaths and start focusing on how you can realistically realize your vision within these new constraints? Or, better yet, do you think about how you can turn the changed game to your advantage and make it an opportunity instead of a problem?
What often happens is that when things don’t go as planned, many people not only give up and quit, they also take it to mean that they’re no good. Don’t fall into this trap. The way to avoid it gets back to the self-worth issue we talked about earlier. So, how do you fortify your sense of self worth? By finding a firm foundation.
It’s said that if the Devil had a definition of self-worth, it would be that our self-worth is a function of our performance plus the opinions of others. But your performance is not going to be great every day. People are fickle; they change their opinions all the time. So, you need something firmer upon which to base your self-worth. We recommend you build a spiritual foundation that helps you realize you’re part of something greater than yourself and, as a result, strengthens your self-worth.
For example, veterans returning from serving their country who are now missing some, or even all of their limbs, have made a huge sacrifice, and they might wrestle with their self-worth. But you can find video clips of them competing in contests, smiling, and going on with their lives. Why? Because their self-worth is intact. It is in their values. Their families or country don’t love them less. They know where to look for what really matters, and there are people willing to help them remember the firm foundation of what really matters.
When you know that you’re grounded on your foundation, you’re able to absorb those tough times and say, “I’m still okay. Wow, this challenge is really interesting. I didn’t expect this. Now, what am I going to do?” If Bernie Madoff had a spiritual foundation that let values do the driving in his life, we doubt he could have stolen millions of dollars with his bogus investment scheme. Jimmy Carter might not have had the smoothest or most successful 39th presidency, but his actions afterward led to him being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. His spiritual foundation, clear values, and self worth were intact.
That’s the real power of developing your leadership ID. The bumps and bruises of life might slow you down for a time—but they won’t throw you off course. With a clear sense of your strengths and weaknesses, who you are, where you’re going, and the values that are guiding your journey, roadblocks become training tools that make you even stronger—and better equipped to lead.
Putting It All Together
These are not necessarily easy steps, but there is a clear process. Consider how this worked in Nelson Mandela’s life.
• Desire—He wanted equal rights in South Africa and fought to overturn hundreds of years of African colonization to accomplish that.
• Vision
Purpose: He sought to liberate the oppressed and create a society where people of all races lived in harmony while respecting each other’s differences.
Picture of the Future: From his 1993 Nobel acceptance speech you can get a clear picture of his driving vision:
“The value of our shared reward will and must be measured by the joyful peace which will triumph because the common humanity that bonds both black and white into one human race will have said to each one of us that we shall all live like the children of paradise. Thus shall we live because we will have created a society which recognizes that all people are born equal with each entitled in equal measure to life, liberty, prosperity, human rights, and good governance. Such a society should never allow again that there should be prisoners of conscience nor that any person’s human right should be violated.”
Values: Based on his behavior, it appears that Mandela’s core, rank-ordered values were love, freedom, truth, and courage. These values showed through when he said:
“It was during those long and lonely years that my hunger for the freedom of my own people became a hunger for the freedom of all people, white and black. I knew as well as I knew anything that the oppressor must be liberated just as surely as the oppressed. A man who takes away another man’s freedom is a prisoner of hatred; he is locked behind the bars of prejudice and narrow-mindedness. I am not truly free if I am taking away someone else’s freedom, just as surely as I am not free when my freedom is taken from me. The oppressed and the oppressor alike are robbed of their humanity. When I walked out of prison, that was my mission, to liberate the oppressed and the oppressor both. Some say that has now been achieved. But I know that that is not the case. The truth is that we are not yet free; we have merely achieved the freedom to be free, the right not to be oppressed. We have not taken the final step of our journey, but the first step on a longer and even more difficult road. For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others. The true test of our devotion to freedom is just beginning.”
• Sustaining Leadership ID—By getting help from others, like president F.W. de Klerk, and revisiting his vision over the years, Mandela produced results! As he said in his inaugural address of 1994:
“The time for the healing of the wounds has come. The moment to bridge the chasms that divide us has come. The time to build is upon us.
We succeeded to take our last steps to freedom in conditions of relative peace. We commit ourselves to the construction of a complete, just and lasting peace. We have triumphed in the effort to implant hope in the breasts of the millions of our people. We enter into a covenant that we shall build the society in which all South Africans, both black and white, will be able to walk tall, without any fear in their hearts, assured of their inalienable right to human dignity—a rainbow nation at peace with itself and the world.”
And South Africa is still free, and now a beacon of freedom instead of one of repression.
• Dealing with Roadblocks—Few people can point to roadblocks as significant as 27 years in prison. As Mandela put it, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
When Mandela took over the country as president, he had to develop a whole new skill set to stay in the game. He has said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
Throughout Mandela’s trials and triumphs, he had kept in tune with his spiritual foundation. Famously quoting Marianne Williamson, he said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us: It’s in everyone. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Your spirituality is a source of inner strength that tempers your actions, that keeps your actions in tune with the needs of others, and that gives you a deeper bond and commitment to the rest of the world. It is often the thread that holds the beads of your values together, and it can drive all you do toward positive results. Some strengthen their spirituality in churches; others on walks through woods and parks, and still others through the trials and tribulations of relationships, both personal and professional. With a spiritual foundation that focuses on something bigger than yourself, just as Mandela did, you can make a choice to live your life at a higher level.
Your Own Leadership ID
Now it’s time for you to roll up your sleeves and develop a leadership ID that will help you make the world a better place.
Desire—What do you desire most?
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Create Your Vision
What is your purpose?
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What is your picture of the future?
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What is your number one core value?
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What are your other values? Rank them by order of importance.
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Sustaining Leadership ID?
What result do you aim to produce? How can you keep it going after it’s established?
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Will you get help from others? Who? Will you need to reach out to others who you don’t know now or who aren’t your friends?
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Dealing with Roadblocks
What roadblocks, setbacks, or obstacles might come up in your path? How do you anticipate dealing with them?
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Develop a Whole New Skill Set
What skills or knowledge do you need to obtain to help you on your path to success?
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Stay in the Game
How can you stick with your vision? How might you sidestep distractions? Recall that Mandela was angry, but there wasn’t time for that if he was to make progress and move on. What can you do to ensure your focus on your vision stays clear and continues to pull you forward?
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Build a Spiritual Foundation
Do you already have a spiritual foundation? Is it strong enough to help you through any challenges? What can you do about strengthening your spiritual foundation? Where can you turn?
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Your Own Snapshot of the Future
Now, if you had to write how you’d like your obituary to read, as Ken has done, what would it look like? How would you like the world to view your leadership ID in hindsight?
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Endnotes
1 See Ken Blanchard and Jesse Stoner, Full Steam Ahead! Unleash the Power of Vision in Your Work and Your Life (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2011).
2 This process was developed by Susan Fowler for the Situational Self Leadership (SSL) program at The Ken Blanchard Companies in Escondido, California.