CHAPTER 5: LEADING OTHERS

In this chapter I outline:

Personal presence and impact

In order to bring others with you as a leader, you need to be able to influence effectively. Being aware of your own style of communication and preferences is a first step.

Typically, people have a preference for one of four basic styles of communication. At times they may use a combination of two styles. These styles are:

Look at the following words and allocate a total of 20 points to this list. The points you allocate should reflect how much you feel each word represents you.

	Your points allocation
taking charge
communicating directly
assertive
focused on the big picture
persuasive
energetic
enthusiastic
spontaneous
detailed, focused
analytical
methodical
thorough
considerate
actively listening
collaborative
patient

Table 5: Personality styles

Now look at where you have scored your points. Count how many points are in each category.

Your personality style is shown by the category or categories in which you have scored highest.

The challenge for leaders is to adapt their style to the target audience. People who are engaging, for instance, may get impatient and ‘switch off’ if they are presented material in a very systematic manner. Consider the personality preferences of several members of your team, for example. How different are they from your own? What might you need to do to modify your communication style in order to have a more positive impact with these people?

Emotional intelligence

Recognising your own style and adapting it to the needs of others is an example of emotional intelligence (EQ).

EQ is defined by Daniel Goleman, author of Working with Emotional Intelligence, as ‘the capacity for recognising our feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships’.

There are four aspects of EQ:

In order to understand the characteristics of each of these four areas, here is a short assessment for you to complete. Look at the answers at the end of the chapter to check if your responses are correct.

Self-awareness

Self-management

Awareness of others

Relating to others

By being aware of yourself as a leader, by managing your emotions and being aware of others, you are able to build strong relationships. Having high levels of emotional intelligence also means that you are more likely to be able to influence others effectively.

How to influence others effectively

Since one definition of leadership is influencing others to achieve organisational goals, your ability as a leader is very much dependent on how well you influence others.

What do I mean by the term ‘influence’? Day to day we find ourselves in a variety of situations where, as leaders, we need to bring others round to our way of thinking, to do something for us or to approach something in a certain way. Given that the people we interact with day to day are likely to be the people we continue to deal with, we need to be able to influence others in a way that demonstrates respect for them. In simple terms, this means that we need to be able to convince them whilst maintaining rapport and a long-term relationship with them.

Most of us have good intentions in what we do as leaders, whether it is developing rapport with someone or carrying out a task. However, on occasions it becomes apparent that the result of our behaviour has not had the impact we intended.

When we or others describe what has happened, we are likely to refer to the type of words used, the tone of voice and the body language. This is the way in which we communicate.

Figure 15: Intention versus impact

To have the impact we desire, whether putting forward a point of view or delivering a presentation, our words, tone and body language need to be congruent. That is, they need to work in harmony.

If our impact proves to have been different from what we intended, we are likely to find that our actions and words were not congruent, thereby creating misunderstanding in others. Other people may see us as non-assertive, or as adopting either an aggressive or a passive style of communication. This can result in them losing respect for us as leaders.

Most people can describe intuitively the impact that the behaviour of others has had on them. Many of us have described, or heard others describe, the influence the behaviour of others has. For example,

The push/pull model of influence

One model of influence that you will find useful explores the use of energy, which is used differently depending on whether we are using push or pull behaviour:

The model introduces different influence behaviours, which enable us to reach a result or outcome that is agreeable to both parties. The words that are used as part of the model, as well as the tone and the body language, need to be congruent. This then increases our ability to influence others and communicate our willingness to be influenced.

Push behaviours relate to when you state views and opinions, expectations, wants and needs. They also relate to when you offer incentives, state the consequences or express how you feel. Push statements often start with ‘I’, such as ‘I want’, ‘I need’ or ‘I expect’. The impact of push behaviours is to drive people to change.

Pull behaviours, however, involve asking questions to solicit views, ideas and information from others, and encouraging participation in discussion. They also involve active listening, building common ground with others and being open to others’ ideas. Here the language used is much more that of ‘you’ and ‘we’. Pull behaviours signal to the other person that you are more prepared to learn and possibly change.

Push and pull behaviours can be used to influence guests and colleagues in a positive way. However, in practice you may find that some of the behaviours are less natural to you than others and need to be practised so that they become learned.

Look at the list below, and distinguish between push behaviours that encourage other people to do things differently and pull behaviours which signal that you are willing to change. Identify whether the statements that follow are examples of push or pull techniques.

Statement	Push or pull behaviour?
‘In my opinion we need to ...’
‘So what you’re saying is ...’
‘I need to know when you need it by.’
‘How did this happen?’
‘You’re right, we did make an error there.’
‘If you do that, I’d be prepared to ...’
‘I agree, that’s a good idea.’
‘I believe that’s the best way because ...’
‘So, we all agree that we should ...’
‘You don’t sound as though you are convinced.’
‘What do you think we should do next?’
‘I want you to be responsible for timekeeping.’
‘Right now I’m feeling as though we’re not getting anywhere.’
‘I feel really pleased about what we have achieved so far.’
‘I am quite good at this type of activity.’
‘I suggest we do this first.’
‘If you do that we will run out of time.’

Table 6: Push and pull behaviours

If you are having difficulty influencing others effectively, ask yourself which is your predominant style of influence: is it push or is it pull? What is the balance of your use of each style?

If you use more a push style of communication you may be seen by others as aggressive or ‘pushy’. If you use more pull than push, your influencing style may be seen by others as too docile and passive. The key is to ensure that on the whole you use a balance between the two styles in order to influence effectively and bring people with you.

Activities to undertake with your team

Ask your team to describe your style of influence. Discuss with them the impact of the way that you communicate. Seek feedback from colleagues on what you can do to lead others better in an assertive fashion.

Summary

In this chapter I have discussed the need to be aware of your personal presence and impact in leading others. I have also outlined the four aspects of emotional intelligence, and how these underpin the ability to influence effectively. Finally, I have discussed the push/pull model of influence, which, if applied in equal measures, can ensure a positive outcome and strong working relationships.

Here are some questions to ask of yourself:

Suggested answers

The suggested answers are highlighted in bold:

Self-awareness

Self-management

Awareness of others

Relating to others

Statement	Push or pull behaviour?
‘In my opinion we need to ...’	Push – stating views and opinions
‘So what you’re saying is ...’	Pull – active listening
‘I need to know when you need it by.’	Push – stating what I want
‘How did this happen?’	Pull - questioning
‘You’re right, we did make an error there.’	Pull – being open
‘If you do that, I’d be prepared to ...’	Push – stating incentives and consequences
‘I agree, that’s a good idea.’	Pull – building common ground
‘I believe that’s the best way because ...’	Push – stating views and opinions
‘So, we all agree that we should ...’	Pull – building common ground
‘You don’t sound as though you are convinced.’	Pull – active listening
‘What do you think we should do next?’	Pull – questioning
‘I want you to be responsible for timekeeping.’	Push – stating what I want
‘Right now I’m feeling as though we’re not getting anywhere.’	Push – disclosing feelings
‘I feel really pleased about what we have achieved so far.’	Push – disclosing feelings
‘I am quite good at this type of activity.’	Pull – being open
‘I suggest we do this first.’	Push – stating views and opinions
‘If you do that we will run out of time.’	Push – stating incentives and consequences

Table 7: Push and pull behaviours – suggested answers