APPENDIX B

SCENARIOS AND SCRIPTS

The following scripts are based on real-world scenarios. It is important to recognize that no script is one-size-fits-all. The most effective way to deal with a given situation depends on a number of factors such as the context, your relationship with the individual, your personality and that of the other person, the history of the issue, and the significance of the outcome. Each situation is unique, and there is no singularly right way to hold a critical conversation—other than to focus on it being a healthy one. Use the tools and strategies you have learned in this book, as well as your own experience and common sense, to help guide and steer the dialogue.

Note: To protect privacy, names have been changed. Contributors are included in the Acknowledgments.

Scenario #1

Anna is a mental health practitioner and has been working at a residential treatment facility for the past six months. During this time, there have been several instances in which she felt disrespected by her boss, Sandra, and considered quitting. However, she likes her job and coworkers and would prefer to stay if she were treated better. She decides to talk to Sandra about her concerns.

Anna: “Thank you for meeting with me. I wanted to speak with you about some instances in which I have not felt as though you respected my clinical judgment and decisions.”

Sandra: “I don’t understand. I respect you and your skills very much!”

Anna: “You do? It is often difficult to see that. I feel as though you don’t appreciate my experience and opinions. For example, during our recent team case review meeting, I said that I would be performing a certain clinical test on Mr. Smith, and without any discussion you ordered me to conduct a different one. I felt embarrassed and disrespected in front of my colleagues.”

Sandra: “I recommended that test because I felt it would close out the case more quickly.”

Anna: “Oh, I didn’t know that. However, I was the clinician working with Mr. Smith, and in my opinion the test I selected would have given us better clinical data. I would have at least appreciated the opportunity to discuss the matter. I also felt disrespected when I was asked to attend a meeting on very short notice and was not able to rearrange my schedule to do so. Then, apparently, your boss commented that my absence was unacceptable.”

Sandra: “Wow, I am really sorry to hear about all this and only wish I had been aware of these instances sooner. I do appreciate your coming to me. We talk about the importance of showing respect to our clients, but apparently, in these instances we don’t seem to have done that with you. This could reflect a systemic problem with our culture. You are a critical part of the team, and I don’t want to lose you. Please tell me what you are thinking.”

Anna: “I want to work here. And I want to help improve the culture. I think we need to improve communication and to foster a more collaborative atmosphere in which everyone’s opinions and ideas are listened to and valued. Along with increased transparency, autonomy, and decision-making responsibility, people would feel more respected. I know that I would.”

Sandra: “Anna, I completely agree and commit to working with you and other staff to improve the culture. Thank you for your willingness to share all of your thoughts and for your dedication to our facility.”

Scenario #2

A salesman, Jeff, needs to have a conversation with an important customer who is being unreasonable. He asked that an order be filled a certain way, it was, and now he is claiming that it is not what he asked for. A videoconference call is scheduled.

Jeff: “Good morning, Harnish [many pleasantries]. I wanted to chat with you today regarding the shipment last week under PO number 0621. I understand that you were not happy with the delivery. Could you tell me about the issue?”

Customer: “Yeah, we received a box of parts, and they were bulk packaged. We expected stack packaged parts. We opened the box, and parts were everywhere. The parts are damaged and we cannot use them.”

Jeff: “Understood, obviously a frustrating situation. Did you get a chance to send pictures to the plant?”

Customer: “No, we haven’t had time.”

Jeff: “Harnish, we want to make things right. We need your help to get pictures and document what happened. It is important to understand if the parts were damaged in transit or when they left our facility. When will you be able to get pictures to us?”

Customer: “I will have them emailed over this afternoon. When will I receive replacement parts?”

Jeff: “Harnish, you have been a customer for a long time. We will do what we can to get you back into production. We don’t stock those parts; as you know, everything we do is made to order. We also need to understand the disconnect on how we shipped the parts versus how you received them. The drawing specifications on the order indicate that ‘parts should be bulk packaged and double bagged.’”

Customer: “One of my people called and left your plant manager a message that we needed these stack packaged. Clearly, you have communication issues going on.”

Jeff: “Harnish, you know we have to ship to specification. We cannot change packaging without written approval. This puts my company in a tough spot. It is going to be challenging for us to get parts to you this week. How about we propose working through the damaged pallet, so you can get back into production. If you sort at your facility, we will give you credit for damaged parts.”

Customer: “That seems reasonable.”

Jeff: “Great. In the meantime, we will need you to update the specification to show stack packaged, and I will work with the plant on a revised quote.”

Customer: “I can do that. Thanks.”

Scenario #3

William, a new team member and recent MBA graduate, is having difficulty working collaboratively with Jasmine, a team member of 20-plus years, and discusses the situation with his manager, Vania.

William: “Thanks for taking the time to talk today. I’m having a really difficult time working with Jasmine.”

Vania: “Tell me what seems to be the issue.”

William: “Well, I try to bring new ideas to the team to make us more efficient and to eliminate some of the manual processes, but she cuts me off in meetings and does not appear interested in any of my suggestions.”

Vania: “Thank you for coming to me to try to work this out. I appreciate your efforts to improve our processes. There is one thing you may not know that might help you understand how Jasmine is responding. Did you know Jasmine was the person 10 years ago who developed the methodology and processes we are currently using? It may be hard for her to hear that you want to make changes.”

William: “I did not know that. I certainly did not mean to insult her. In fact, what she created was really innovative given the technology back then. It is just that by using new computer modeling we could be far more efficient. Do you have any advice on how I can work more collaboratively with her?”

Vania: “Why don’t you start by asking Jasmine to tell you about the changes she made and her motivation for doing so. I think you’ll find that she too wanted to improve efficiencies. Engage her in a conversation about what she thinks is currently working well and areas in which she feels there may be an opportunity for improvement. She knows the current systems better than anyone and can help you get a full understanding of them before making changes. You may gain her respect and valuable input by demonstrating respect toward her and what she has accomplished. Start by building the relationship before you start trying to build a new system.”

William: “Thanks. That is great advice. I imagine that the way I’ve been acting she probably sees me as arrogant and not respectful. I am going to reach out to Jasmine today and apologize for how I have been coming across.”

Vania: “Great! I think she will be very receptive. Let me know how it goes.”

Scenario #4

Dana, the newly hired VP of communications, was missing the mark in her new role in the organization. After 90 days in the position, it was apparent that she was driving programs that were not the priorities set by the CEO, Rupen. Her peer, James, was the VP of HR and had befriended Dana. In speaking with Rupen, James knew that he was unhappy with Dana’s performance, and James wanted to support her. He reached out and scheduled a video call
with her.

James: “Dana, I wanted to check in to see how things are going. Is everything working out as you expected or hoped? Is there anything I can do to help you navigate the politics around here?”

Dana: “Thanks. I think everything is going pretty well. I have built some good relationships here, and I think I’ve really made an impact in some areas. I made great progress in getting the attention of Senator Smith. We’re a major employer, and it’s good that he knows who we are and how big we are in the state. I’m excited that after our phone call he agreed to visit the manufacturing facility next month.”

James: “Congratulations! Having that connection could prove very useful down the road. How have you been doing with some of the other things that the boss said were priority items? I know that the internal communications program is high on his list.”

Dana: “I have done a few things. I scheduled some town hall meetings, and I am working with him on his newsletter. I do wish he was a bit more open-minded to my ideas, though. There are some big opportunities here, and he hired me to make a difference. I could do that if I had more autonomy and resources.”

James: “I think it is great that you are thinking big picture. At the same time, Rupen sees the internal communications program as a key reason he brought you in.”

Dana: “But I feel that I can contribute much more and have a larger impact within the organization if I get an effective government affairs program off the ground.”

James: “I would like to offer you some collegial advice. It’s really important to align your agenda with the boss’s agenda . . . not the other way around. You’ve got to deliver on what he says are his priorities. Score points by knocking out his tactical programs. If you do that, he may give you more autonomy to work on other projects.”

Dana: “I really appreciate you being straight with me. Between us, I don’t feel Rupen has been that clear with me. Or maybe he has and I just haven’t wanted to listen. Either way, it is time for me to course-correct. Thanks for having my back.”

Scenario #5

Devon, the HR manager, had recently conducted two exit interviews with employees from the IT department headed up by Betto. Both mentioned Betto’s management style and treatment of them as reasons for resigning. Specifically, they noted that he would frequently raise his voice and be publicly critical of team members’ performance. Based on these interviews, Devon decided to have a 360-degree assessment conducted. The following conversation took place during the debrief.

Devon: “Betto, I have the results of your 360 and want to review them with you. [He hands Betto a copy of the report.] As you can see, there is quite a discrepancy between how you score yourself and how your direct reports score you on items such as ‘Is open to feedback and suggestions,’ ‘Treats others with respect,’ ‘Provides critical feedback in a constructive manner,’ ‘Acts with humility,’ and ‘Fosters teamwork and collaboration.’”

Betto: “Maybe, but my manager and peers scored me higher.”

Devon: “That is true. However, even those scores are below your self-evaluation, as you assessed yourself ‘strongly agree’ on almost every item. It seems that although you may not have seen opportunity for improvement, others do. Discovering these blind spots can be very helpful in terms of putting together a development plan.”

Betto: “If you look at my last performance review, you will see that my manager gave me the highest possible scores and maxed out my bonus.”

Devon: “The concern is that your employees consistently scored you low on items that are very important to our company regarding being a people manager.”

Betto: “I set high standards, hold people accountable, and get results. Is there anything else that matters?”

Devon: “Actually, there is, including growing and developing your people, coaching and mentoring, fostering teamwork, and serving as a role model for our corporate values, to name a few. In contrast, raising your voice and demeaning team members are not acceptable practices here.”

Betto: “What are you trying to tell me?”

Devon: “Based on the 360 feedback and conversations I have had with your manager, colleagues, and team members, I have decided to hire an external coach to work with you over the next six months, at which time we will conduct a follow-up 360 to determine whether there have been improvements in your interpersonal and management skills.”

Betto: “I don’t need a coach to tell me how to manage people.”

Devon: “The data would suggest otherwise. I want you to be successful in our culture, but if you are unable or unwilling to change your management style, I’m afraid we will have to part ways.”

Betto: “If working with a coach is what I have to do to keep my job, I will.”

Devon: “I would ask that you keep an open mind. The coach is excellent, and there is no downside to going through such training—only upside.”

Betto: “OK. I will. Maybe she can teach an old dog some new tricks.”

Scenario #6

Brian, the chief commercial officer, needed to generate some ideas for repairing relationships between his department and another group that prepared price quotes for customers. He had gotten feedback from his boss that he needed to stop making all the decisions for his people and start engaging them. He scheduled a Microsoft Teams meeting to better understand why relations were deteriorating and to brainstorm some solutions. He asked his colleague Gabriela, who was familiar with the situation, to join the meeting. Afterward, Gabriela and Brian stayed on the call to debrief.

Brian: “What just happened? I take the time to hold a team meeting so I can get input and try to engage people in collaborating on fixing the problem, and all I get are blank stares. I should have just taken care of the situation myself to begin with.”

Gabriela: “I can tell that things didn’t go well in the meeting, and I expect that’s not the first time your team has sat silent when you asked for their input.”

Brian: “Exactly. They never speak up. Never offer any solutions. But they sure do complain and point out what’s not working.”

Gabriela: “Have you thought about what you might be doing or not doing that makes them stay quiet? Anything you may say or do that stops the two-way conversation?”

Brian: “What do you mean . . . what is it that I do? I’m the boss, and they should be happy that I ask for their suggestions.”

Gabriela: “You might be right, but work with me on this. What do you do when an employee suggests something that you don’t think will work?”

Brian: “I tell them exactly what I am thinking . . . I don’t want to waste time chasing a half-baked idea that I know won’t get the job done.”

Gabriela: “It seems that you told your team that this would be a brainstorming session, which most people think of as a time to share any thoughts they have without judgment. Did you ever stop to think that by reacting so quickly and negatively you are sending the message that you only want suggestions that align with your thinking, and you really aren’t open to hearing others? If you really aren’t open to hearing your team’s ideas, then you should just make decisions on your own. However, you’ve got some really smart and talented folks, and I would hate for a good idea to pass you by. My suggestion is that you hold a meeting in which all you do is listen and make sure you understand people’s suggestions. Don’t make any judgments, and see what they come up with.”

Brian: “Well, I guess you’re right. I do have some great folks, and I do want to hear their ideas. I know that I can be stubborn and ‘old school’ at times. It will definitely go against my nature, but I will give it a try. Thanks for your support and advice.”

Gabriela: “You are welcome. Your team members are going to feel a lot more respected with that approach, and I am sure that you will see more engagement.”

Scenario #7

The company president, Yaser, needs to have a discussion with a project manager, Molly, whose department is being ineffective. The company was recently bought by new owners, and though Molly was brought in to improve results and execution, her impact has been disappointing. Despite several discussions, her team is not keeping a critical project on track, and she seems nonchalant about the situation.

Yaser: “Molly, thanks for coming by. I wanted to get an update from you on the project. I know from our last conversation a few weeks ago that your team was not on track to meet either the timeline or budget. I had asked that you keep me posted, but I have not heard back from you.”

Molly: “The team is making great progress. We are still uncovering facts and, of course, have run into some challenges, but they all present great learning opportunities and will make our end product even better. By the way, as you probably know, my team volunteered to take over the company picnic this year and are really excited about it.”

Yaser: “Molly, I am glad to hear that the picnic planning is going well, but I really need you to focus on getting the project back on track. Perhaps I haven’t been as clear as I should: this project is extremely important to the company, and I am counting on you and your team. The perception by upper management is that the project has been floundering for too long. We need to see substantial headway quickly. Is there anything I should know or can help you with, so the project gets back on track?”

Molly: “Actually, I’m glad you asked. I’m going to need to hire two more analysts. My folks are feeling overwhelmed right now, especially with upcoming Microsoft training and vacation schedules. I was looking on LinkedIn the other day and found some potential candidates. Is it OK to ask Julian in HR to set up some interviews?”

Yaser: “Actually, Molly, it isn’t. I know you’ve heard in the department manager meetings that we are losing customers to our competition at a disturbing rate. The project I gave you is critical to figuring out what we need to do with our pricing, marketing, and service fulfillment. If things don’t start turning around quickly, we are going to be facing layoffs and budget cuts.”

Molly: “Hmm, I guess I didn’t realize how serious things were around here. Sounds like sales and customer service really need to start picking up their game.”

Yaser: “Molly, everyone is working hard and doing more with less. I have to level with you. Upper management is losing faith in your leadership, and quite frankly, so am I. If you are not able to get the project back on track, we are going to be forced to look at other options. I am requesting that you get me a revised plan ASAP with specific time frames. Going forward, I would like to have one-on-one update meetings every Friday afternoon, so I know exactly where we stand. Please work with HR to reschedule the training. Am I being clear?”

Molly: “Yes. I am sorry that I haven’t fully appreciated the situation and urgency of this project. You will have a detailed plan by this Friday. Is there anything else you need from me right now?”

Yaser: “No. I appreciate you getting things moving and look forward to meeting on Friday. Thank you.”

Scenario #8

A department manager, Leah, needs to address a new staff member, Mark, who took the initiative to make changes on forms without consulting her.

Leah: “Hello, Mark. I noticed that you made some recent updates and changes to our registration forms.”

Mark: “Yes, I saw that there was a lot of information on the forms that we do not utilize, so I worked with IT to remove the additional information. This will streamline our registration process and make it quicker and shorter for participants.”

Leah: “Mark, I appreciate the initiative you took, and we always value input on ways to improve efficiencies and processes. However, some of that information we collect is needed by other departments for annual reporting and funding partners. We are required to report on key aspects of participant information, and while we do not utilize that information in our processes, it is important to capture.”

Mark: “I had no idea that other departments needed that information. Can we send follow-up surveys or other communications to participants to collect that information?”

Leah: “We have attempted to collect missing information via surveys and other forms of outreach in the past. Unfortunately, these surveys typically receive only about a 20 percent response rate, rendering our data incomplete. If we require the information up front at registration, we can ensure that we are collecting and providing all of the data needed by our organization.”

Mark: “I am sorry. I didn’t know.”

Leah: “I want to encourage you to continue thinking and presenting ways we can improve our processes and the experience for our participants. But next time, let’s discuss the ideas and assemble an internal meeting first, so that we can fully understand the impact of the changes to ensure we are all on the same page.”

Mark: “Sounds good.”

Scenario #9

Two lifelong friends, Sanjay and Peter, founded a start-up together. Happily, the company was successful and grew to 40 employees. Up until that point, they were acting as co-CEOs, which worked well when the company just had a few people, but with 40 employees, it started to become untenable and suboptimal. Sanjay decided to have the difficult conversation with Peter that he wanted just one of them to be CEO so there would be a clearer leadership structure.

Sanjay: “There’s something I need to talk to you about regarding the management structure of the company.”

Peter: “Oh, really? What’s up?”

Sanjay: “I’ve received feedback from employees that it’s not always clear who’s making the final decision on certain key strategic issues. While we’re normally in sync on 90 percent of issues, when things come up on which we hold differing views, it’s challenging for employees to navigate.”

Peter: “I see. So what are you proposing?”

Sanjay: “I know for a long time we have essentially been co-CEOs, but now that we have such a large team and different departments, I think only one of us should be CEO. I’d really like to take on that role. And I propose that you be CFO. This way, I can focus on leadership-related responsibilities, while you concentrate on revenue generation. Obviously, we would continue to be partners in making the big strategic decisions for the organization, but in cases on which we differ and a clear decision needs to be made, I’m asking that you entrust me with that for the benefit of the company.”

Peter: “OK, this isn’t an easy thing. What you are proposing never occurred to me. Let me sleep on it and get back to you.”

A few days later:

Peter: “OK, I’ve had a chance to really reflect on your proposal. At first when you suggested this change, I was taken back. We’ve been co-CEOs for years, and I think it has worked fine. So my first reaction was ‘No way!’ But as I reflected on it, I began to understand it from the perspective of the employees and how it might put them in a difficult situation when they get two different answers from us. For their benefit, I will agree to you being the sole CEO, provided that we both commit to being equal partners in making major strategic decisions for the organization.”

Sanjay: “Absolutely. I give you my word. Thank you so much. That is one of the most selfless acts I’ve seen anyone do at any company I’ve worked at. It reminds me so much of why I knew we would be great business partners to begin with.”

Epilogue: The decision to create a sole CEO role turned out to be the right choice as it gave employees much-needed clarity regarding the leadership of the company. Sanjay and Peter continued to make key strategic decisions collaboratively, and together they guided their start-up to a successful acquisition by a publicly traded company. They have remained great friends to this day and have recently begun working together on their next business venture.

Scenario #10

A new female staff member, Lulu, who works as a design consultant, lodged a complaint against a male colleague, Patrick, alleging harassment based on her being a female. Darryl, the HR manager, headed up the investigation, and it was determined that the allegations did not amount to harassment. However, it was also determined that there were behaviors by both parties that were not conducive to creating a positive work environment. It was decided that both should undergo Respect in the Workplace training. The discussion with Patrick went well; however, the conversation with Lulu was more challenging, as she refused to accept any responsibility.

Darryl: “Good morning, Lulu. I wanted to follow up with you this morning on the allegations you made regarding your colleague Patrick. As you were made aware, we conducted an investigation into your concerns, which we have now completed. I want to discuss the findings with you.”

Lulu: “Great, I am looking forward to hearing what actions will be taken against Patrick.”

Darryl: “Let me first run down the steps we took. We spoke to you, Patrick, your manager, and several colleagues that are involved with you both on a daily basis. We asked each for very specific instances in which they saw interactions between the two of you. There were some themes that began to emerge from those witness statements.”

Lulu: “I bet there were. However, since this is a male-dominated environment, I am sure that they are all siding with Patrick.”

Darryl: “What we have determined through our investigation is that some of Patrick’s communications and interactions with you were insensitive, outdated, and/or patronizing. However, they do not amount to harassment as alleged.”

Lulu: (Under her breath) “I knew it.”

Darryl: “Nevertheless, we have, and continue to work with Patrick to help him understand how his actions and comments may be negatively perceived by colleagues, clients, and others. In fact, as you mentioned yourself in your original complaint, ‘It appears Patrick is making an effort.’”

Lulu: “So what you are saying is that I just need to put up with this. I refuse to, and I refuse to be put in a situation where I have to interact with him.”

Darryl: “Lulu, given our findings, Patrick will be participating in Respect in the Workplace training and we expect the same of you.”

Lulu: “Listen, I will not accept this, and I refuse to work with Patrick.”

Darryl: “Lulu, during our investigation, Patrick also raised concerns about your approach with him, which he, in fact, found overly aggressive and made him uncomfortable. This was a theme that arose with all those we spoke to and was reinforced by a recent vendor call. We were informed that following a tour you took there, you actually called a customer and demanded a calendar posted at a workstation be taken down. Without commenting on the appropriateness, or lack thereof, of the calendar, our company has a policy that requires you to bring such complaints to either human resources or your manager directly. You are not to contact a vendor or customer directly with these sorts of complaints and make demands while acting as a representative of the company.”

Lulu: “The calendar was offensive, and I have a right to stand up for myself and not be put in a situation that makes me uncomfortable.”

Darryl: “That is exactly right, Lulu. I agree with you, and the company doesn’t want you to be put in any uncomfortable position. In the future, you should contact me or anyone in human resources or your manager, and we will determine the best way to reach out to the customer and provide them with the feedback.”

Lulu: “So, ultimately, you are saying this is now my fault!”

Darryl: “Lulu, we want you to be comfortable and successful at work. We also have a responsibility to create a positive work environment for others and need to address any concerns that were raised by them in our investigation.”

Lulu: “How did I do anything wrong? You are trying to blame the victim. I am a victim.”

Darryl: “Lulu, there were several complaints raised about how you speak to people. People were uncomfortable with both your tone and your words. This was displayed in how you responded to Patrick, and that is when it was brought to the attention of his manager. I believe this has previously been mentioned to you. I bring it up only to underscore that we are looking at this situation holistically and want to support the creation of a positive working relationship for you both.”

Lulu: “It sounds like you are taking Patrick’s side. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Darryl: “The company is always trying to improve the environment in which its employees work, and training is a way by which such improvement is achieved. It is company policy that when such accusations arise, both employees must attend training. This training is not disciplinary in nature, nor is it a reprisal of any sort, and we hope you do not feel that way. It is educational in nature, and helps illustrate how an employee sometimes perceives an interaction with a coworker, manager, or other individual in a manner that is inconsistent with the coworker’s, manager’s, or individual’s intention, and inconsistent with how an objective bystander would perceive the interaction.”

Lulu: (Aggressively) “I need to understand specifics about this training company, their evaluation procedure, and their credentials before I go for any training.”

Darryl: “Please rest assured that we have fully vetted the company and their trainers. I want you to understand that you are a valuable member of the team. We will continue to take your concerns seriously and work with you and all employees to ensure our work environment is as healthy and productive as possible. With that in mind, we want to reiterate that some of Patrick’s behavior you reference in your correspondence was not (and is not) appropriate, and it was not (and will not be) condoned by the company. If it continues despite our warning, internal coaching, and external training, I ask you to speak to me directly.”

Scenario #11

Evander, a shift leader in the sorting department, has been with the company for about a year. During the interview process, it was made clear that corporate values and culture are a priority. Evander is an excellent performer: he is exceptional at picking up new skill sets, his shift is top-tier when it comes to production, and feedback from his team is that they really like working with him. Bob, the plant manager, decided to put together a cross-functional team to deal with departmental silos and asked that Evander participate. Evander came to the first few meetings and gave some good input, but then just stopped showing up. Bob became concerned and asked Evander to come see him.

Bob: “Evander, we have been missing your insight during the cross-functional team meetings. What’s going on?”

Evander: “I make production the number one priority for my team and, as you know, the numbers bear that out. My time is better spent out on the floor with my guys.”

Bob: “Evander, there is no question that your team is being successful, in fact, exceeding their goals. At the same time, it is important that there is good communication and collaboration across teams. Safety has to come first, and you know we emphasize the importance of our culture—we view it as our secret sauce when it comes to delivering great customer service and fostering employee loyalty and pride.”

Evander: “I agree that safety is important, but sometimes I think we take it too far. We have procedures in place that are just overkill. When it comes to culture, I emphasize individual responsibility and hard work. My goal is for my team to outperform the other shifts, and, as you can see, my approach is paying off. Attending these ‘feel good’ meetings is taking me away from my team and getting the real work done.”

Bob: “Evander, that’s very concerning, especially since as one of our team leads, you should be serving as a role model for our values. During the interview process it was made clear that we are all committed to living the core values and supporting the company culture.”

Evander: “Yes, I remember watching the onboarding video and even signing some document about supporting the values and culture. That is all good, but what you’re paying me for is to get a job done, and I am. Look, it isn’t like I’m walking around telling people not to act safely or be a jerk to people on other teams. I honestly don’t understand what the problem is.”

Bob: “Well, that is disheartening, but I appreciate you being straight with me. You are a talented guy and I respect your work ethic, but our company values and culture are nonnegotiable and have to come first. Being that it is Friday, I would ask that you take the weekend and really think about whether this is the right place for you to work.”

Evander: “OK, I will do that.”

On Monday the discussion continued:

Bob: “Evander, I hope you had a good weekend. I wanted to follow up on our conversation.”

Evander: “I thought a lot about what we discussed and even talked to some of my guys and another shift supervisor. They shared with me how important the values are to them, and one of the reasons they work here. I can see now that I have underestimated and not fully appreciated the culture. I apologize for that I would like to re-engage with the cross-functional team meetings.”

Bob: “Evander, I am really pleased that you took the time to speak to team members and appreciate your change in mindset. Of course, you are welcome to come back to the meetings and I look forward to your input.”

Evander: “Thanks very much.”

Scenario #12

Paul was the founder and owner of ColorMe Company, a manufacturer of children’s arts and crafts. He hired a college intern, Danny, to help out with the company’s technology needs. On Danny’s second day, Paul heard him swearing while working on the network. While Paul had certainly done his share of shouting at computers, he was upset because the company was very family-oriented and such language had no place within the culture. The next morning, he asked Danny to come into his office.

Paul: “Danny, we are all excited to have you here, most especially me. I know you are really going to be a great asset to the team. I need to apologize to you because when we first met and I told you about the company, I did not emphasize our values and culture.”

Paul handed Danny a copy of the company’s foundational document, which included its vision, mission, and guiding philosophical principles and asked him to read it. Afterward, the discussion continued:

Paul: “It is really important that all team members believe in and support what is written on this document. It creates our culture and is what makes our company so special. It was my mistake not to ask you to read it during your first interview. How do you feel about what you read?”

Danny: “Wow, I think it is great, and I definitely support what the company stands for. And I know why you wanted to speak with me.”

Paul: “Why?” (Smiling to himself because he knew Danny “got it.”)

Danny: “Because I swore yesterday and that goes against ColorMe Company’s principles and culture. I promise you that it will never happen again.”

Paul: “Danny, thank you.”

Epilogue: Danny never did swear again, and the internship turned out to be a wonderful experience for him and the organization. And Paul never made the same mistake; he started all interviews by sharing that foundational document and took great pride in seeing all team members bring it to life every day.