How to Maintain Your Professional Network over the Years
by Rebecca Knight
Everyone knows it’s important to build a network. But once you’ve made a connection with someone, how do you maintain it over the long haul so that you can call the person when you need help (e.g., a job reference or a professional favor)? How frequently should you be in touch with your contacts? And how do you balance efforts to bring in new people while staying in touch with those you’ve known for a while?
What the Experts Say
Networking is linked to many measures of professional success—including getting promoted, having influence, earning more money, and feeling more satisfied in your career. “Research shows that networks give people access to information, such as advice and problem-solving assistance, among other benefits,” explains Francesca Gino, a professor at Harvard Business School and coauthor of the HBR article “Learn to Love Networking.” “Over time, this information access helps people acquire the knowledge and competencies that are necessary to succeed at work and better handle challenges.” Your network not only helps you thrive in your current job; it also helps you uncover your next one, according to Dorie Clark, the author of Reinventing You. “For most professionals, the job offers they receive and consulting offers they land are a direct result of their network,” she says. “If you’re not staying in touch with people from your past, you’re cutting off a lot of potential opportunities.” Here are some strategies for maintaining those ties.
Prioritize
First “make a clear-eyed determination about who in your network you want to prioritize,” says Clark. She suggests “grouping your contacts into buckets” of categories—for example, current clients, potential clients, influential and powerful colleagues, and “friends who are real connectors”—and then figuring how best to allocate your attention. But priorities aren’t always clear-cut, warns Gino. There may be people you keep in touch with for no other reason than you enjoy their company or you have similar interests. “Think about the ways in which your relationships make [you] better off. If you’re a happier person when you talk to a particular friend or colleague, make a point to do so on a regular basis,” she says.
Show you care
Next, Clark recommends thinking about the “different tools in your arsenal to stay in touch”—email, phone calls, coffee dates, social gatherings, and handwritten notes—and how you can best use these to nurture your relationships. The key to maintaining a professional network, she says, is to “be in the orbit” of the people you’re trying to cultivate so that, if you require their assistance down the road, “you are still top of mind.” The best way to do this is to “take steps that demonstrate you care about the other person and that you’re interested in his or her life,” she adds. “Be aware of when news or information triggers you to think of that person.” Perhaps you read a book a former colleague might like, attended a lecture about a subject she’s interested in, or recently met a connection of hers. “That’s a good time to get in touch.” Adds Gino, “Good relationships need to be nurtured. If you care for that person to be in your network, you should avoid contacting him or her only in a moment of need.”
Be strategic with social media
In the Information Age, you can easily stay connected to people from your past for digital eternity but, cautions Gino, an overreliance on social media to maintain your professional network can be dangerous. “Just as a phone call is not the same as conversing in person, social media has a different level of fidelity,” she says. “Sometimes social media tricks us into believing we have a strong connection with someone when, in fact, that connection only exists in that single plane of existence.” Still, adds Clark, you can use social media to your advantage. You might, for instance, trade direct messages with your contacts on Twitter, repost content they’ve created on LinkedIn, or retweet blogs and articles they’ve highlighted. Even better, “take the conversation off-line,” she says. “If you notice that your friend was just promoted or had some other success, celebrate her win by giving her a call or sending her a note.”
Offer to help
Another way to remain in good standing with your contacts is to “look for ways you can be helpful to them,” says Clark. “Listen carefully” to what they say and the challenges they face. “Perhaps your contact is struggling to help his son find an internship, and you know that your firm has them. Offer to make a connection. Perhaps your former colleague tells you she’s interested in starting to do more video at her job, and you just read a book on the subject. Send it as a gift.” Make sure your motives are pure, however. “Helping others is a fine thing to do, but doing so in order to gain favor only serves to demonstrate to those you intend to impress that you are shallow—the opposite of your goal,” says Gino. “Being genuine and authentic and sincere is much more likely to create a sense of respect.”
Don’t brag
Although it’s good for your network to know about your professional successes and promotions, you don’t want to gain a reputation as a braggart. Gino recommends a milder form of self-promotion: simply “informing the other person about what you have been up to in a way that provides information he or she does not have.” Clark concurs. “You don’t need to bang the drum,” she says. “If you have had positive relationship with someone in the past and you’re confident she thinks you are a good person, you don’t need to go on a long-standing promotional campaign. Just stay in touch and express interest in her life. That’ll keep a positive memory alive.”
Don’t force friendships
If there is someone from your past that “you want to keep up with, and you’ve tried multiple times but the other person just doesn’t seem to have that same desire,” it’s probably a sign to give up, says Clark. “Maybe he’s just really busy or his spam filter is particularly aggressive,” but it’s also likely he’s not interested in staying connected. Gino agrees. “Don’t become overly concerned with connections that aren’t mutual because, just as with other relationships, seeming desperate only makes you less desirable,” she says. She suggests trying to become friends with the person’s friends instead. “Play the long game but always be genuine,” she says. “Shallow connections are not worth the effort and can fade quickly.”
Regroup from time to time
Clark recommends doing an “audit” of your professional ties every six months or so. “You need to look at your list of contacts and ask, Is it still accurate? Who should I add? Who is no longer quite as relevant?” Over time, Clark says, “you will cycle people” in and out of your network. This doesn’t mean you won’t talk to [old contacts], of course; it’s just not going to be as often. Bringing new people into your circle and staying in touch with longtime contacts “shouldn’t feel like a balancing act at all if you’re doing it well,” says Gino. “Continuously mix old and new when possible”—that is, introduce people you’ve just met to others in your network, which gives you an opportunity to learn more about both of them. “This opens up relationships that may have stagnated,” she adds.
Principles to Remember
DO:
- Decide who you want to stay in touch with and how often you want to reach out
- Make use of all the communication tools in your arsenal, including email, phone, coffee dates, social gatherings, and handwritten notes
- Look for ways you can help your contacts with the professional and personal challenges they face
DON’T:
- Go overboard on social media; be strategic about how you use it
- Brag about your accomplishments
- Kill yourself trying to network with everyone you’ve ever met; keep a running list of relevant contacts and audit it from time to time
Adapted from content posted on hbr.org, September 20, 2016 (product #H0352X).