Discussion Guide

Since the Women at Work podcast first launched, we’ve heard from all over the world that it has inspired discussions and listening groups. We hope that this book does the same—that you’ll want to share what you’ve learned with others. The questions in this discussion guide will help you talk about the challenges women face in the workplace and how we can work together to overcome them.

You don’t need to have read the book from start to finish to participate. To get the most out of your discussion, think about the size of your group. A big group has the advantage of spreading ideas more widely—whether throughout your organization or among your friends and peers—but might lose some of the honesty and connection a small group would have. You may want to assign someone to lead the discussion to ensure that all participants are included, especially if some attendees are joining virtually. And it’s a good idea to establish ground rules around privacy and confidentiality. Women at Work topics touch on difficult issues surrounding sexism and racism, so consider using trigger warnings.

Finally, think about what you want to accomplish in your discussion. Do you want to create a network of mutual support? Hope to disrupt the status quo? Or are you simply looking for an empathetic ear? With your goals in mind, use the questions that follow to advance the conversation about women at work.

1. Tina Opie and Beth Livingston explain how shared sisterhood requires having the trust to tell one another how we really feel—that we can’t empower one another if we can’t show our true emotions to one another. Are you emotionally vulnerable at work, or are you more guarded? Which emotions are you comfortable showing? What aspects of yourself are you likely to hide, and why? What can we do to support our colleagues in opening up and being vulnerable?
2. Which of the three elements of trust discussed in chapter 3—positive relationships, good judgment/expertise, and consistency—affects how much you trust your colleagues? Do leaders in your organization, or a company where you have previously worked, show these characteristics? Which do you think you need to work on?
3. Do you think your organization acknowledges and understands the difference between diversity, inclusion, and belonging—and fosters all three? Where do you think improvements could and should be made?
4. Inga Carboni says that women often feel inauthentic, manipulative, or selfish when they are networking. How do you feel when you are networking? What do you attribute these feelings to? Has the way you feel about networking shifted over time, and what do you think brought about those changes?
5. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your network? What types of connections are over- or underrepresented? Where do you want to make improvements, and how might achieving more gender balance in your network help your career?
6. How has remote work changed your approach to networking? What aspects of connecting are easier in a remote setting, and which aspects are more difficult?
7. Rebecca Knight recommends steps for making sure your network is composed of real and beneficial connections: actively deciding who you want to stay in touch with, acknowledging that you can’t stay in touch with everyone, and auditing your contacts from time to time. Have you ever taken steps like these, and what effects did they have on your network?
8. Have you ever been in a sponsorship relationship before, either as a sponsor or a protégé? In that relationship, was there ever a formal “ask” or “offer” of sponsorship between you? What did that look like?
9. The title of chapter 15 says it all: “Don’t Underestimate the Power of Women Supporting Each Other at Work.” Are the professional relationships between women at your organization generally more supportive or competitive? Have you seen extraordinary outcomes from women supporting other women—or not supporting other women?
10. What is the dynamic between men and woman at your organization? Are they allies to women and encourage their growth? Do you think the widespread awareness and outrage around sexual harassment in the workplace after the #MeToo movement has led to more or fewer sponsorship opportunities between male sponsors and female protégés?
11. Has your ability to do your job well ever been impeded by work friendships? Have you ever been put in an uncomfortable position by supporting a work friend?
12. Have you ever been able to restore a ruptured relationship at work? What did that look like? How long did it take for trust to be fully regained?
13. Have you ever become your friend’s boss (or vice versa)? Were you able to retain your friendship? In what ways did it change? Did either of you face the transition “head-on,” as the authors of chapter 19 suggest?
14. Do you maintain your relationships with work friends after you or they have left your organization? Have you been able to establish new rhythms of communication and broaden your conversation beyond work? What has that looked like?
15. Overall, how has this book changed your thinking about making real connections at work? Do you see trust, networking, sponsorship, and work friendships in a different light now?