Developing Passion, Persistence, and Patience
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
—Harriet Tubman
As a leader, it is vital to immerse with passion and be passionate about what you do. Okay, I am not Mister Passionate the whole day, but I always focus my mindset every day on how I can be the best and use my passion to create change and greatness in others. In turn, somedays I have to do things I am not that passionate about, but I always focus on why I do what I do.
Also, I have worked with and met the most remarkable people: construction workers, technical specialists, sales assistants, team members, counselors, and people who you might think at times might not have the most fulfilling or exciting jobs, but they always find the purpose and passion around what they do.
In turn, if you are finding it difficult to be passionate or have passion in what you do, what do you need to change? Think about it. I met Ricardo Piscitelli, attorney and now Director of the Master in Project Management for Construction at QLU (Quality Leadership University) in Panama City. I have to say that he is doing an amazing work advising and supporting all the project management master’s students through his passion for helping students to be successful. He is always ready to help and passionate about helping the students to find a professional future, understanding their needs and dreams better to give them the best orientation to their future. Our conversation centered around why do people change their lives when they are sick and are told devastating news. Please do not wait! Find passion in what you do, find your why—or change it!
Life is short. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something what matters to you, that moment is now. Figuring out what you are passionate about is a popular topic that finds its way into conversations with friends, at work, and in some books like this one. And it is a clear reminder that many of us will reach a point in our lives, if you haven’t already, where the desire to leave behind the mundane to live a life you love is too strong to ignore. But trying to figure out exactly what you love to do can be challenging. We feel this intense urge to just “figure it out.” But when we look around, that passion is nowhere to be found, and we aren’t where we truly want to be. It frustrates us. It keeps us up at night. It makes us anxious as we notice more and more time is slipping away while we sit around feeling confused.
We see others who have seemingly identified their “thing,” their passion, their calling, and we hope one day that we will get there too. While I don’t feel like I’m remotely qualified to tell others how to live their lives by a long shot, I am the most qualified person to speak on my own life and share the things that I’ve found helpful in pushing me along my journey to figuring out what I’m most passionate about. I wanted to share with you seven suggestions to find your passion:
1. Do many things.
I really cannot stress the importance of this one enough. Having lots of interests may feel overwhelming, but it is actually a great problem to have despite how much you feel you are “all over the place.” When you are on the journey to figuring out what you love most, this is one of the most crucial steps and it is actually quite simple. Do things. Do a lot of things. It is better to have lots of options and interests than none at all. Make a list of all the things you are interested in, pick two to focus on first, and then get busy. Find some classes to see if these things are something you really want to pursue further. If you realize it is not what you thought it would be, scratch it off of your list and move on. If you end up loving it and find yourself consistently wanting to do more of it, then you are on to something.
2. Always stay true to yourself.
Just because your degree says you have fulfilled the requirements to go out and get a job in a certain industry doesn’t mean you will always love doing that. You are entitled to change your mind whenever you want, and you can and should always follow the path where your heart leads. Where does that path lead? I believe it leads to true joy. We often try to place limits on ourselves after we’ve invested so much money in school and move into the working world: feeling stuck at jobs with horrible bosses, low pay, and in cities that just aren’t what we expected. The secret to getting unstuck is not hard at all.
Stop doing what you hate and begin taking the steps to doing what you love. You do not have to feel confined to a box and you should not worry about being defined by one thing. As much as I love traveling, writing, and inspiring others through my own journey, I am also passionate about my mindfulness practice and healthy living. And I love sharing my wellness journey with others just as much as my travel plans. I embrace having multiple interests even if I’m not quite sure how I can combine them all into one perfect identity—and right now, I don’t feel the need to.
3. Focus on you.
However, if you go about finding your passion, you definitely will not find it by watching and comparing where you are in life to others. If it seems as if your friends are further along in their career or like they have it all figured out, nine times out of 10 I can assure you they don’t have it all figured out, no matter how many filters they use on those pictures. But, maybe they did take a big leap of faith, move across the country, or sacrifice relationships to get to where they are. Whatever it is, you cannot compare your journey to theirs.
4. Let go of fear.
Fear is the ultimate buzz kill. It can convince you to pass up some of the most amazing opportunities all because you cannot see past taking that first step. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like walking around in the dark. You don’t know if you’ve got a clear path or if you’re going to bang your knee on the coffee table. But in order to get to the other side of the room so that you can turn on the light, you just have to get through the hard part and the uncertainty. In order to find your passion, big leaps of faith are mandatory.
5. Be still.
As counterproductive as this one seems, we tend to get so confused at times with all of the thoughts, ideas, and emotions swarming through our minds that we get frustrated because we just cannot seem to figure it out. Time is passing by fast and according to our checklist, we were supposed to be knee-deep in our passion by age 25. The reality is, for some of us, this takes a bit longer than our expectations want to accept. Sometimes giving ourselves a moment of stillness to simply do nothing is just what we need to realize that what we are passionate about has been right in front of us the entire time.
6. Forget about the money.
A dollar, euro, or whatever currency amount should never be the determining factor of what you do in life and if it is, more than likely you will always end up in positions doing things you’re not passionate about just to make a coin. When you are truly passionate about something, you do it because you genuinely love doing it first, and then you figure out how to make a living from it. I have been delivering many talks at professional conferences in project management for free just because I enjoyed, learned, and got fun.
7. Know that everyone will not “get” you.
If I have learned one thing throughout the past few years, it is to limit the amount of advice I solicit from people who are not qualified to offer their counsel on what I am doing with my life. Some people will never “get” you or your visions and that is okay. It’s not for them to understand anyway. Spend less time explaining or rationalizing your goals and dreams and surround yourself with people who can propel you further while you are busy working toward discovering your passion.
There is a difference between two kinds of passion: harmonious and obsessive (Kaufman 2016). People with harmonious passion have the ability to disconnect when work is over, easily transitioning into their lives outside of the office. Obsessive people don’t have that ability, and here’s what that all amounts to.
A recent study investigated burnout (measured by emotional exhaustion) in two samples of nurses over a six-month period across two different countries. Obsessive passion increased the chances of burnout while harmonious passion helped protect against burnout. The researchers identified some key factors explaining this relationship. Obsessive passion was associated with higher conflict with other life tasks and was unrelated to work satisfaction, while harmonious passion was associated with lower conflict and higher work satisfaction. Importantly, these effects held even after controlling for the number of hours worked.
People with harmonious passion come to work refreshed and are ready to tackle new problems, whereas those with obsessive passion are at much higher risk of experiencing burnout. So, what do you do if you are obsessively passionate? Let go. That is easier said than done, of course, so taking an extreme approach might be necessary. Set times when you are simply not available and adhere to them. Make your computer inaccessible at certain hours of the day. You may have trouble adjusting at first, but you’re headed for burnout if you don’t force yourself to restrain your passion to healthy amounts. You may love your job, but it’s important to love other things as well. The more you come to appreciate things outside of work, the easier it will be to let obsession subside.
How to Develop Your Passion?
Maybe you struggle to feel passion around others, or to feel passionate as an individual. Developing passion is part of an active process to become a more compelling and emotional person and requires a proactive approach to living. You can develop a more passionate attitude by doing fun and exciting things, focusing on creativity and using your imagination, and by interacting passionately with others. I have some suggestions for you, according to the Figure 2.1 as follows:
1. Think about your childhood hopes and dreams.
If you are struggling to identify your passion, you may want to consider what you enjoyed doing as a child. Make a list of the activities you lived for as a kid, from playing with Legos to dressing up dolls. Consider if you would enjoy doing that activity now but in a different context. If you were really into building with Legos, for example, this could indicate your passions might lie in architecture or construction. If you enjoyed dressing up your dolls, this could indicate your passions might be geared more toward fashion or styling. Taking a childhood passion and translating it into a viable job or field of study could lead to a more fulfilling career and a fuller life. In my personal case I enjoyed reading books and novels, swimming and teaching others to swim.
Figure 2.1 Develop your passion
2. Identify your personal values.
Your personal values are your core principal beliefs or the ideas that are the most important to you. Determining your personal values can help you determine if you are passionate about your job, your field of study, or even your relationships. You can ask yourself some guiding questions to help identify your personal values. For example:
• Do you believe in your job?
• Do you enjoy your job and everyday cannot wait to go for work because you love it?
• Do you like people, talking, discussing, and arguing among them?
3. Consider two individuals you respect or admire.
• Why do you admire them?
• What characteristics do they embody that you admire or appreciate?
4. If you could change or shift one thing in your community, what would you change and why?
• What world issue would you change if you could?
• What issues or problem get you the most charged in conversation with others?
5. Consider a moment that was satisfying to you or made you feel good:
Identify that moment and consider why you felt so satisfied in that moment. Look over your answers to these questions and try to identify any themes or common ideas. These principles, beliefs, and ideas are likely some of your personal values. You can then use your personal values to help you determine your priorities in life and how these priorities can shape your passions in your career, your schooling, and your relationships.
6. Do a best possible self-exercise.
Your “best possible future self” is a personalized representation of your goals and the future you envision for yourself. Doing a best possible self-exercise can help you gain better insight into your goals, priorities, and motivations. It can also help you to gain some control of your trajectory in school or in a career using critical thinking and self-analysis. To do the exercise, use this prompt: “Consider your life in the future. Imagine that everything in your life has gone as well as it possibly could. You have managed to achieve all your life goals. You have realized your life dreams. Now, write down what you imagine.” Write to this prompt for 20 minutes a day for three days. On the fourth day, read over your responses. Highlight or circle any repeating themes, ideas, goals, or aspirations. These could be a good indication of where your passions lie and how you can pursue them.
7. Set personal goals.
Another way to home in on your passions is to set personal goals. This can motivate you to pursue a certain passion that could then turn into a career option or an educational option. Writing down your personal goals requires you to be self-reflective and consider what is meaningful to you. It also requires you prioritize and narrow down your ideas to form clear personal goals. Once you have formed your personal goals, you should create a schedule to determine when you will need to achieve these goals. You may have different timeframes for different personal goals, depending on how simple or complex they are.
Creating personal goals will also allow you to identify what you are already doing in your daily routine to achieve certain goals and what are the skills you need to learn or develop to achieve certain goals. This can be highly motivating and a very active way to determine your passion in life.
8. Lean on mentors or leaders in your life.
If you are struggling to identify your passion and goals, you may want to reach out to a mentor or leader in your life who can offer advice or guidance. This could be a teacher, parent, community member, or even a sibling or friend. Have a discussion with this mentor about possible career paths you are interested in and how you can access this path. Sit down with your mentor and talk about your personal values and goals and how you can translate these into a viable career or field of study. Often, mentors whom you are close with can give you some perspective on your options and encourage you to pursue goals or passions that you enjoy and may excel at.
Are You Persistent?
Talent, genius, and education mean very little when persistence is lacking. Here’s what true determination looks like. In any discussion of the attributes of successful people, persistence is always mentioned often as the, or one of the, most important factors in success. As a project manager, major success seldom comes easily or without a great deal of effort. Often the only difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is the ability to keep going long after the rest have dropped out. It’s relatively easy to persist when things are going well and we see progress, but highly persistent people have found ways to keep going despite major setbacks and a lack of evidence that they are moving closer toward their goals. Here are some of the things that persistent people have in common that keeps them going long after most people have given up:
Figure 2.2 What persistent people have in common
According to Figure 2.2, I will explain what persistent people have in common:
1. An all-consuming vision
Persistent people have a goal or vision in mind that motivates and drives them (Blanchard and Hersey 1993). They are often dreamers and visionaries who see their lives as having a higher purpose than simply earning a living. Their vision is deeply ingrained, and they focus on it constantly and with great emotion and energy. They often think of this vision first thing when they wake up and last thing before they go to bed. Reaching this goal becomes the focal point of their life and they devote a major portion of their energies and time toward reaching it.
2. A burning desire
As an entrepreneur and motivational speaker, I always say, “If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse.” Persistent people want it bad, really bad, and they never look for an excuse or a way out. What keeps highly persistent people going is their powerful level of desire. Repeated failures, dead ends, and periods when it seems like no progress is being made often come before any major breakthroughs happen. Persistent people have the inner energy and intensity to keep them motivated and going through these tough times.
People who overcome the odds and achieve greatly are often described as “marching to the beat of their own drummer.”1 They know what they want and are seldom swayed by the opinion of the masses. Having a highly developed sense of who they are allows the highly persistent to continue on without being greatly affected by what others think of them or, being understood, or being appreciated by those around them. While that inner confidence gets challenged and shaken, it never gets destroyed and constantly acts as a source of courage and determination.
4. Highly developed discipline
Motivation is what helps you to start. Discipline is what keeps you going. Highly persistent people know it is very difficult to stay continually motivated, particularly during difficult times and when it appears that no progress is being made. They have come to rely upon their self-discipline and developing habits they can count on to continue down the path toward their eventual goals. They believe the results of the efforts they make today may not be seen for a long time, but they strongly believe that everything they do will count toward their outcome in the end.
5. Ability to adjust and adapt
Persistent people have the ability to adjust and adapt their action plan. They do not stubbornly persist in the face of evidence that their plan is not working but look for better ways that will increase their chances of success. The highly persistent see their journey as a series of dead ends, detours, and adjustments but have complete faith they will reach their final destination. They are not tied into their ego and are quickly willing to admit when something is not working. As well, they are quick to adapt the ideas of others that have been shown to work well.
6. Commitment to lifelong learning
Persistent people realize that any goal worth reaching will take time, effort, and continuously learning new skills and thinking patterns. They welcome change and new ideas and continue looking for ways they can incorporate these into their lives. Ongoing learning is seen as part of a process through which the highly persistent continually expand the range of tools that they have to work with. Naturally curious, persistent types not only see learning as a way to reach their goals more quickly, but they also see self-development as a way of life. Learning and continual growth do not end at a certain age or stage of life, but they are the essence of life itself, and therefore never-ending.
7. Role models who act as guides and mentors
While it may appear that highly persistent people act alone and don’t need anyone, most have a carefully chosen group of people they admire and emulate. These can be people who are actually involved in their lives as mentors or confidantes or they can be figures who they have read about and who have deeply impacted them. You will know who these people are since persistent people will often quote them.
Persistent people usually stand out from their environment and are often misunderstood or ridiculed because they can make those around them feel uncomfortable. Having strongly ingrained models helps persistent people sustain and motivate themselves in an environment that is not always supportive.
Develop Your Persistence
I strongly believe that persistence is a “muscle” you need to exercise as a project manager to achieve your goals. Here are my three top tips for building your persistence muscle.
1. Focus on the outcome. Get clear on what you are working toward and why it is worth pursuing. If something is important enough to you, then you will find a way. Visualize completing the project, task, or overcoming the challenge and notice how you will feel when it is done. For example, I am doing that when writing a book and this one is my number 10.
2. Develop your belief. More than anything, persistence is about belief—belief in you! Without belief that you are good enough, smart enough or worthy enough it is so often too tempting to give up when things get hard, boring, challenging, or painful. Your belief in yourself and in the goals, you are going after will help you to continue. Repeat in front of the mirror every day that you are excellent. After 20 days that thought will be part of your mindset, so you need to make some adjustments to be excellent because if not you will see the same like Pinocchio (getting your nose growing because you lied).
3. Enlist support. Doing it alone is doing it the hard way. Reach out, collaborate, or ask for help or support. If you do not have belief in you yet, enlist a colleague, coach, or mentor who believes in you to lift you up, push you on, and hold you accountable. If you do not have a mentor yet, please find one because it is worth for you as a great professional.
When I first started out in my own business, I had a dream and big goals. But I was afraid and uncertain. I didn’t have 100 percent belief that I had what it took to create a successful business, so I found a mentor who I believed in and who believed in me. When my belief wavered, my mentor propped me up, provided encouragement, and gave me the tools to make persisting so much easier.
To persist at anything is a choice. At any time, we can choose to keep going, keep fighting, keep learning, and keep finding ways to achieve or we can choose to give up, say that we tried but failed or simply move onto something else that seems easier or more fun. But I know that if we want to play a bigger game, achieve new goals, and progress our careers so as we really make a difference, then persistence is required. Giving up or taking the easy road is not an option.
And remember, there are no overnight success stories. Success in any area of our life takes persistence and hard work. And without it you are only dreaming. Remember, persistence is a choice.
Cultivate Your Patience
As virtues go, patience is a quiet one. It’s often exhibited behind closed doors, not on a public stage: a father telling a third bedtime story to his son and a dancer waiting for her injury to heal. In public, it’s the impatient ones who grab all our attention: drivers honking in traffic, grumbling customers in slow-moving lines. We have epic movies exalting the virtues of courage and compassion but a movie about patience might be a bit of a snoozer.
Yet patience is essential to daily life and might be key to a happy one. Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity, so anywhere there is frustration or adversity—that is, nearly everywhere—we have the opportunity to practice it. At home with our kids, at work with our colleagues, at the grocery store with half our city’s population, patience can make the difference between annoyance and equanimity, between worry and tranquility. Religions and philosophers have long praised the virtue of patience; now researchers are starting to do so as well.
All of us as project managers have the opportunity to manage the organization. We need to preach the organization about the characteristics, benefits, and advantages of the project-based organization and how by practicing the project management discipline our organization will achieve better and better results.
Recent studies have found that, sure enough, good things really do come to those who wait (Dolan 2010). This is all good news for the naturally patient—or for those who have the time and opportunity to take an intensive two-week training in patience. But what about the rest of us? It seems there are everyday ways to build patience as well. Here are some strategies suggested by emerging patience research.
• Reframe the situation. Feeling impatient is not just an automatic emotional response; it involves conscious thoughts and beliefs, too. If a colleague is late to a meeting, you can fume about their lack of respect, or see those extra 15 minutes as an opportunity to get some reading done. Patience is linked to self-control and consciously trying to regulate our emotions can help us train our self-control muscles.
• Practice mindfulness. In one study, kids who did a six-month mindfulness program in school became less impulsive and more willing to wait for a reward. I recommend mindfulness practice for project managers: Taking a deep breath and noticing your feelings of anger or overwhelm (for example, when your team members start yet another argument because they did not achieve their deliverable deadline) can help you respond with more patience.
• Practice gratitude. In another study, adults who were feeling grateful were also better at patiently delaying gratification. When given the choice between getting an immediate cash reward or waiting a year for a larger ($100) windfall, less grateful people caved in once the immediate payment offer climbed to $18. Grateful people, however, could hold out until the amount reached $30. If we’re thankful for what we have today, we’re not desperate for more stuff or better circumstances immediately.
We can try to shelter ourselves from frustration and adversity, but they come with the territory of being human. Practicing patience in everyday situations—like with our punctuality-challenged coworker—will not only make life more pleasant in the present but might also help pave the way for a more satisfying and successful future.
I will share with you some best practices to develop your patience.
• Divide it by time. Tackle a task in 15 or 30 minutes or one-hour pieces. If you are trying to change your habits, go for one day and then another. If you want to write, tackle half a page at a time.
• Use the same approach to complete any new habit. Start a side project with the same mindset and you will stay persistent. Spend a few minutes on your life’s work after work every day.
• Three times per week is better than nothing, and it might not seem so difficult. Then, build it up from there.
• Learn what motivates you and ride on that. Use motivation to your advantage. Challenge yourself to finish a certain amount or to get through a certain amount of time.
• Keep score. Write your progress in a journal or calendar. Progress is the ultimate motivator. Once you see results, you will strive to continue.
• Reward yourself for persisting. Big goals can take months or even years to achieve. The longer the time it takes to achieve the goal, the more you risk losing motivation. Reward small actions toward bigger goals. That way you are more likely to persist with reaching your bigger goal.
Greatness is not measured by what is accomplished. It is measured by how many times you pick yourself up and try.
Summary and Conclusions
In this chapter I have been sharing my experiences, thoughts, and ideas about how to develop passion, persistence, and patience. Some lessons learned are as follows:
• As a leader, it is vital to turn up with passion and be passionate about what you do.
• But trying to figure out exactly what you love to do can be challenging.
• People with harmonious passion come to work refreshed and ready to tackle new problems, whereas those with obsessive passion are at much higher risk of experiencing burnout.
• Developing passion is part of an active process to become a more compelling and emotional person and requires a proactive approach to living.
• Try to find your passion doing many things, being focused on you, staying true to yourself, letting go of fear, being still, forgetting about the money, and taking into account that not everyone will respond, work, or act at your pace.
• Developing passion is part of an active process to become a more compelling and emotional person and requires a proactive approach to living.
• Focus on the outcome, develop your belief, and enlist support.
• Some best practices to develop your patience: divide it by time, use the same approach to complete any new habit, three times per week is better than nothing, learn what motivates you and ride on that, keep score, and reward yourself for persisting. Now it is your time, you have read the description about how to develop your passion, persistence and patience. Take action and prepare your 3ps development plan, and set some milestones your achievements.
References
Blanchard, K.H., and P. Hersey. 1993. Management of Organizational Behaviour. New Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Dolan, G. 2010. Ignite: Real Leadership, Real Talk, Real Results. Wiley.
Kaufman, S.B., and C. Gregoire. 2016. Wired to Create: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Creative Mind. Random House.
1 If people march to the beat of their own drum, they do things the way they want without taking other people into consideration.