Index
Action:
clear requests for, 35
and message consistency of, 154–155
Active listening, 30–32
lack of, 63
Actualizing strategy, 45–48
Adaptive learning, 34
and rapport, 95
and trust, 14
(See also Agendas)
Adversity, overcoming, 85–88
Advocacy, 31–32
Agenda for Change, 109–122
achievability of, 113–114
believability of, 117
buy-in to, 131
change tool for, 174–175
focusing on, 122
leader, role in, 113–114
steps to, 114–117
transferability of, 117
Agendas:
addressing, 64
aligning, 127–131
of bad conversations, 60–61
conflicting, 75–78
defining, 162
discussion of, 22–23
initiation of, 22
intersection points with others’, 162
of others, integrating, 81
pushing, 81
(See also Advanced agendas)
Ambiguity, 12
Amygdala hijack, 107
Apple Computer, 104
Applicants, recruiting, 137–139
Argyris, Chris, 26–27
Authenticity, 158
Avenue of Pain, 107–108
agenda of, 60–61
for bad purposes, 70–71
characteristics of, 63–64
lack of learning in, 61–62
negative impact of, 59–60
outputs of, 64–65
versus Powerful Conversations, 60–63
source of, 63–64
the Swamp, 67–70
Swamp Talk, 69
Bad decisions, 65
Bad feelings, 64
Bad judgments, 64–65
Bad news, need for clarity, 83–84
Barnes & Noble, 54
Barron, Gary, 92
Baystate Health System, 150–151
Bedell, Eric, 21
Belichick, Bill, 51–52
Beliefs, 173–174
living out, 101–102
nonjudgmental sharing of, 52
sharing, 8
Belief systems, trust building with, 102, 104
Berlin, Isaiah, 31–32
Big-picture thinking, 54
Bird, Larry, 79
Block, Peter, 27
Blueprinting, 174–175
Body language, 31
Brigham and Women’s Hospital,
Agenda for Change at, 112–119
Brown, Juanita, 7
Bush, George, 46
Candor, 160
Career development, 137
from High-Impact Leaders, 114
trust building with, 101, 103–104
Cartwright, Bill, 80
Chains of command, 13
circumscribing, 120–122
Passionate Champions outside of, 128
Change, 109–122
conversation role in, 111
Passionate Champions’ role in, 123–133
Change agents (see Passionate Champions)
Change tool, 174–176
Children, Powerful Conversations with, 78
Clarity, 11–12, 15, 35, 100, 114, 160, 162
in difficult conversations, 83–84
and leadership voice breakdowns, 157–158
trust building with, 101
Clinton, Bill, 99
Coaching, 51
Tower of Power use for, 164
with voice of leadership, 156
Collaborative interaction, 21–22
Command-and-control model, 13, 125
Commitment, 35, 51, 99, 163, 173
bad, 65
establishment of, 8
of key employees, 146
to Passionate Champions, 132
redefining rules around, 108
to self, 159
Communication:
disciplined approach to, 73–74
status quo, 20–22
Communication styles:
ineffective, 66
primary learning of, 81
Company loyalty, 140–141
Complaints, uncovering, 70
Conceptual Thinking, 44, 53–54
driving ideas with, 53–55
Confidence in organization:
building, 145
loss of, 143–144
restoring, 157
barriers to, 23–26
with people, 139
renewal, in Swamp, 107–108
Consistency, 100
of voice of leadership, 156
Content, unclear, 63
(See also Clarity)
Conversations:
bad (see Bad conversations)
diagnostic instrument for, 164
difficult (see Difficult conversations)
follow-up, 14
grapevine type, 7–8
keys to, 8
and organizational culture, 110–111
outcomes from, 4
versus Powerful Conversations, 5–6
pushing and pulling types, 33–34
refocusing, 69
study of, 6
and success, relationship of, 4
(See also Powerful Conversations)
Core competencies, focusing on, 115
Crisis situations:
Focused Drive for, 46–47
stabilizing, 50
Criticism, 67–68
Criticizers, behavior of, 67–68
Critique, 67–68
Cultures, organizational, 110
conversations and, 110–111
fitting in with, 137
personality misalignments with, 68
voice of leadership influence on, 149
Customer intimacy, 54
Daly, Michael, 151
Davis, Mike, 52–53
Decision making, and trust, 94–96
Defensiveness, 63
Demographics, and turnover, 142
Determination, 48
Difficult conversations, 73–88
agendas, harmonizing, 75–78
and emotional intelligence, 74
High-Impact Leaders’ handling of, 74–75
inquiry, use of, 80–81
moving on, 81–83
overcoming adversity, 85–88
preparing for, 83–85
rules for, 75
Tower of Power for, 165
wants and needs, separating, 78–80
Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC), 20–21
Discipline, lack of, 106
Diversity, openness to, 114
Drive:
and focus, balance of, 45
instilling, 46
Embarrassment, bypassing, 27
EMC Corporation, 22
Emotion:
channeling, 46
of message content, 31
Emotional connection, establishment of, 33–34
Emotional factor, of turnover, 144
Emotional honesty, and connection, 24–26
Emotional Intelligence, 44, 48, 74
stabilizing through, 48–50
Emotional maturity, 48
Emotional outbursts, and trust breakdowns, 107
Emotional sharing, lack of, 63, 64
Emotions:
trust, 92–93
uncovering, in the Swamp, 69, 70
(See also Feelings)
Employees:
dissatisfiers (see Dissatisfiers)
fit with organization, 144–145
recruiting, 137–139
retaining, 135–147
Employee turnover, 135–136
Energy:
for change, 127
Energy levels, and Powerful
Conversations, 41
Enthusiasm, weakening of, 156–157
Executive EQ (Cooper), 92
Facts, uncovering, 31–32
Family-oriented conversations, 8
Fear, confronting, 75
Feelings:
bad, 64
gut, 64
perceiving and recognizing, 49
sharing, 8
(See also Emotions)
Finance knowledge, 167
Firings, 82–83
scripting for, 84–85
Flores, Fernando, 33–34
Focus, 45
instilling, 46
Focused Drive, 44
strategy, actualizing through, 45–48
support for, 47
Follow-through, and trust building, 11
Ford, Jeffrey, 111
Ford, Lori W., 111
Forgiveness, 108
Fundamentals of work, examining, 56
Gates, Bill, 153
Geffen, David, 75
Gender, effect on message interpretation, 6
General Motors, 54
Generative learning, 34
Global Institute for Leadership Development, 43
Global Institute Leadership Model, 166
Goals:
setting, 115
trust leading to, 93
Goodwin, Doris Kearns, 152
Gossiping, 68
Grapevine, as pathway to learning, 7–8
Green, Dennis, 51
Groups, trust within, 93
Grudges, 82
Gulf War, 46
Gut feelings, 64
Hamel, Gary, 53
Herman Miller, 51
Hidden agenda, uncovering, 34–35
Hidden dialogue, 77
within self, 159
Hierarchy, 13
abandoning, 121–122
High-Impact Leaders, 4–5, 10–13
authenticity of, 158
change, role in, 112
commitments, living up to, 14
competencies of, 43–45
difficult conversations, handling, 64–75
example of, 15–17
learning, willingness and ability of, 10, 114, 158
listening skills of, 30–32
Passionate Champions, checking in with, 132
Passionate Champions, commitments to, 132
Passionate Champions, quality time with, 131–132
Powerful Conversation management, 22
qualities of, 113–114
Say and Do, 12–13
and stress, 49
Tower of Power use, 33–36
trust in, 11
voice of, 149–160
vulnerabilities, expressing, 24
Honesty, with self, 158–160
Hope, 49–50
instilling, 49
Human capital knowledge, 167
Humility, 48
Iagos, 70
Ideas, sharing, 8
Impact, weakening of, 156–157
Individuals, trust between, 93
Information sharing:
prevention of, in bad conversations, 61–62
and trust, 14
Inner principles, reconnecting with, 157
Innovation, 53–54
Inquiry, 80–81
Integrity, 96
Interpretation, gender influence on, 6
Interruptions, frequent, 63
Interview process, 137–138
Intimate conversations, 8
Isaacs, David, 7
Jackson, Phil, 79–80
Johnson, Magic, 79
Jordan, Michael, 79–80
Judgment, 31–32
errors in, 64–65
Kanter, Rosabeth Moss, 112
Kapor, Mitch, 21
Katzenberg, Jeffrey, 75
Kellman, Elliott, 151
Robert, rapport with, 95
Kennedy, Robert, 95
Key employees:
paying attention to, 146
turnover of, 142
King, Martin Luther, Jr., 152
Korby, Alene, 5
Kraft Foods, Tower of Power use, 33
Leaders:
with bad intentions, 70–71
deceptive power of, 65–67
as free radicals, 121–122
and groups, trust between, 93
lack of confidence in, 65
responsibilities of, 3–4
role of, 118
Leadership:
competencies of, 167–168
components of, 168–169
knowledge areas, 166–167
versus management, 117–119
skills of, 167
voice of, 149–160
Leadership Assessment Instrument (LAI), 44, 166–176
self-scoring sample, 169–176
Leadership Institute, at the University of Southern California, 43
Learning:
adaptive, 34
climate of, 54–55
generative, 34
grapevine conversations for, 7–8
lack of, in bad conversations, 61–62
Learning organizations, and conversation, 7
Learning systems, installing, 115
Leider, Richard, 136
Levi Strauss, 50
Linkage, Inc., 162
empowerment of, 52–53
Listening, 30–32
to employees, 145
Loebel, Harry, 120
Lotus Development Corporation, 21
Focused Drive at, 46–47
of key employees, 146
of Passionate Champions, 129
and turnover, 140–141
MacArthur, Douglas, 82
Mangelschots, Iris, 120
Management, versus leadership, 117–119
Managers:
focusing on change, 115
problem solving role of, 120
role of, 117–118
Manhattan Project, 104
Marketing/Sales knowledge, 166
Mental discipline, 56
Mental models, 29
Message:
and action, consistency with, 154–155
broadcasting, 152–154
feeling behind, 31
gender influence on reception, 6
and trust, 155
Microsoft, “e-mails to and from Bill,” 21
Misinterpretations, 63
and trust breakdowns, 106
Mistakes, rectifying, 20–22
Money:
and employee turnover, 142
salary/benefits, 137
Motorola, 51
Needs, 79
expression of, 22
(See also Wants and needs)
Negative fallout, 82–83
New ideas, listening to, 20–21
Nonverbal signals, contradictory, 63, 64
Objectives, defining, 115
Olsen, Ken, 20–21
On Becoming a Leader (Bennis), 43
Openness, 24
emotional content and, 26–27
and trust, 14
Organizational defenses, 26–29
Organizations:
change-adept, 112
confidence in, 144
employee fit with, 144–145
focusing, 46
leadership voice guidance for, 149
trust in, 144
Orientations, 150
Agenda for Change of, 114–116
leadership qualities of, 113–114
Passionate Champions, identifying, 119
Outcome, defining, 162
Outputs, concrete, 116
Overcoming Organizational Defenses (Argyris), 27
Ozonian, Steve, 5
Palo Alto Research Center (PARC), conversation research at, 7
Pan Am, 54
Parcells, Bill, 51
Passionate Champions, 109, 115–116, 119, 123–133
agenda alignment with, 127–131
Agenda for Change, connecting to, 124
alignment, assuring, 131–132
characteristics of, 123–124
empowerment of, 125
enlistment of, 125
interactions with, 121–122
number needed, 132–133
teams of, 125–127
Patience, lack of, 63
Paxson, John, 80
Paying attention, to key employees, 146
People Express, 54
Perception, 48
Perkins, Frances, 152
Personality, misalignment with organizational culture, 68
Personal trust, 103–104
Peters, Tom, 131–132
Pippen, Scottie, 80
Planned turnover, 136
Points of view:
explaining, 80–81
of others, understanding, 81
Possibilities:
clarifying, 54
imagining, 35
Powerful Conversations, 5
and active listening, 31
actualizing type, 45–48
for Agenda for Change, 109–122
aiming, 120–122
versus bad conversations, 60–63
for bad purposes, 70–71
conducting, 162–164
definition of, 5
dissatisfiers, addressing with, 145
effects of, 41
idea-driving type, 53–55
for interviews, 139
inward-focusing, 158–160
Leadership Assessment Instrument for, 166–176
leader use of, 118–119 (see also High-Impact Leaders)
as learned skill, 9–10
manager use of, 118–119
momentum of, 8
power of, 59
preparing for, 22, 57, 162, 164
for retention purposes, 145–147
stabilizing type, 48–50
stages of, 22–23
systemizing type, 55–57
timing of, 162
tools of, 161–176
trust-building type, 50–53
types of, 44–57
Primary learning, 81
Problem people, 120
Problems, underlying, 69
Process orientation, 55–56
Productivity, and professional trust, 103
Professional trust, 103
Purpose, setting, 46
Pushing and pulling strategies, 76
Rapport, and trust, 94–96
Raytheon, 4
Reagan, Ronald, 152
Recruiting, 137–139
Relationships, 8
damaging, 62–63
with key employees, 146
strengthened, 5, 23, 41, 78, 163–164
Resignation, 68
Retention:
proactive strategies, 145–147
(See also Turnover)
Retention plans, 135–147
Retention tool, 175–176
Rokoff, June, 46–47
Roosevelt, Franklin D., 49, 152
commitments of, 52
Rumors, spread of, 68
Running the business, knowledge of, 166–167
Salary/benefits, 137
and turnover, 142
Satisfiers, 137
uncovering, 138–139
and clarity, 12
delivery on, 114
gap between, 159
gray area of, 106
Schlesinger, Arthur, Jr., 31, 95
on vulnerability, 24
Scripting, for difficult conversations, 84
Self-deception, 65
Self-understanding, 159–160
Senior leadership team, focusing, 115
and trust, 14
Sincerity, 48
Solutions, creative, 35
Southwest Airlines, 54
Spielberg, Steven, 75–76
Stabilization, through Emotional Intelligence, 48–50
Starbucks, 104–106
Status quo communication, 20–22
Stories, for message delivery, 150, 155
Strategic Planning knowledge, 167
Strategy, 114
actualizing, 45–48
connecting people to, 120, 145
driving, 151
systemizing, 56–57
Stressful situations, stabilizing, 48–50
Success, and conversations, relationship of, 4
Support:
for change, 117
soliciting, 55
Suu Kyi, Aung San, 152
Swamp, 67–68
getting out of, 69–70
as power source, 68–69
renewal of connections in, 107–108
warning signs of, 63
Swamp Talk, 69
Systemized approach, 56–57
Talent wars, 135
Talk, power of, 3
Tannen, Deborah, 6
Teams:
bad decision making in, 65–66
fitting in with, 138
Top performers, retaining, 135–147
Total trust, 104
Tower of Power, 32–36, 164–165
case study of, 36–40
hints for use, 165
for refocusing bad conversations, 69
rules of, 165
uses of, 164
Transferability, 116–117, 123, 153
Transformation, organizational (see Agenda for Change)
Truman, Harry, 82
in action, example of, 104–106
analysis of, 92–94
breakdowns in, 106–107
building, 7–8, 50–53, 97–100, 106–107
and clarity, 11
for decision making, 94–96
developing, 52
dimensions of, 172
drivers of, 172
as an emotion, 92–93
fluctuations in, 107
in High-Impact Leaders, 111
importance of, 96–97
lack of, 93
low levels of, 64–66
and message reception, 155
in organizations, 144
outputs of, 93
rebuilding, 107–108
rules of, 101–102
Trusted Influence, 44
trust building through, 50–53
Trust tool, 171–176
Truth, confronting, 158–160
Turnover, 135–136
and dissatisfiers, 139–140
momentum of, 142–143
myths of, 142–143
rate of, 143
Undiscussables, 26–29
Unplanned turnover, 136
Values:
building actively, 151
voice of leadership influence on, 149
Van Der Wall, John, 8
Verbal speaking, 111
Victims, behavior of, 67
Vision:
developing, 115
employee confidence in, 145–146
establishment of, 46
formulating versus carrying out, 117–119
operationalizing, 115
Voice of leadership, 149–160
breakdowns in, 156–157
broadcasting, 152–154
for coaching, 156
daily touches of, 155–156
refocusing, 157–158
Vulnerability:
expressing, 23–24
Wants, 79
Wants and needs:
expressing, 8
fulfilling, 33
listening to others’, 10
of others, 22–23
of Passionate Champions, 128–131
separating, 78–80
Watson Wyatt, 52
Webber, Alan M., 6–7
Welch, Jack, 153
Work flow, and communication lines, 7, 110
Work/life balance, 138
Work/role, 137
Worry, 49
Xerox, 54