15.1 Avoid the rabble

Your local library is an ideal spot for theft. For centuries, librarians have worried about book thieves, and struggled to frustrate them with everything from threats and curses to vigilance and piercing stares. During the past 40 years, Tattle-Tape and RFID have become popular protective technologies—not only for books, but also for any other media that might be stolen. But you are not a book thief; nor are you eager to steal DVDs. You are hunting bigger game. After all, with the cash in one stolen wallet you could buy numerous titles from a bookstore, or you could shop online with your victim’s credit cards. There is no need to join the rabble of neurotics who enjoy stealing thrillers and episodes of The Sopranos from public libraries.

Nevertheless, you can learn much from the more skillful book thieves, who are adept at identifying targets, removing and hiding items, and leaving the scene undetected. Chutzpah is a characteristic of most successful thieves, who use it to their advantage in libraries as much as anywhere else. Following their example, you stroll purposefully into public areas; you do not appear furtive or nervous. You look around for targets, which present themselves in different ways. Many targets are occupied with typical patron activities, such as reading or studying intensely, or working on a laptop, or browsing in the stacks.

Another factor to your advantage in libraries is patrons’ undivided attention to their handheld technology. A young woman sits at a table in the reference department and examines the annual reports of local companies. At some point she decides to remove her iPhone and check her e-mail. While doing so, she dons earphones and listens to Beethoven. A message from her boyfriend contains an expression of deep affection. She is enraptured. And that’s where you pass behind her and lift her satchel from the back of her chair. Look blasé as you move away. Do not rush. Hide in a washroom cubicle before you examine your prize.

15.2 Deep affection, continued

In many cases, witnesses to your crime will not report it. They might not want to get involved, or they might not understand what they have seen. You looked so ordinary, and moved at a normal pace. Besides, three people who saw you remove that satchel were checking their e-mail at the time, and listening to Bach, or Brahms, or Eric Clapton. Just because they saw you, does not mean that they interpreted your action as wrongful, especially when they were busy composing their own messages of deep affection.

Meanwhile, safe in that washroom cubicle, you have a chance to examine your take. Have a seat. Resist the temptation to rifle noisily through the satchel. Go through it methodically. Remove the wallet and pocket any cash. Then examine the debit and credit cards. These days you will need a PIN to use many of them. See if you can find an appointment book or pocket diary. It might contain lists of PINs, despite the warnings of card issuers against recording PINs in such obvious places.

Look for anything of value that you can sell: jewelry, cameras, and anything gold or silver. If you are not adept at taking advantage of stolen credit cards, you might know people who are. And even if they cannot use the cards owing to the lack of PINs, they might be able to steal the identity of the cardholder, especially if you provide them with other useful items from the cardholder’s purse: a driver’s license, a provincial identification card, business cards, bank books, a passport, and that appointment book, which contains all sorts of other data that identity thieves can use.

You might also discover a set of keys. If you wish to follow up your initial crime with the theft of the victim’s car or burglary of her residence, you must move quickly. But if you are like the majority of library thieves, you will be content with the stolen cash and the credit cards that you can sell to a man who hangs out in a downtown pub and who is involved in the phoney identity racket. He will give you $50 for those cards and buy you a beer.

15.3 Getting out safely

Now you must leave the library without attracting attention. If you have taken only a minute to examine the contents of the satchel, there is a good chance that its owner is still reviewing the loving message from her boyfriend. Tuck the satchel and whatever is left of its contents behind the toilet or in a trash receptacle. If you are concerned that the police will find your fingerprints, wipe down all parts of the satchel that you have touched. In fact it is unlikely that the police will have the time and funding to send the satchel to a laboratory for the discovery and analysis of any fingerprints. And if you tuck the satchel into the depths of the trash receptacle, it might never be recovered.

Take the nearest exit from the library. Again, do not rush. Look normal. Until you are a safe distance away, do not count the money you have just stolen or fiddle with your victim’s recently purchased digital camera. (Fortunately she kept the instructions for her new camera in her satchel. You can study them later.) Put distance between yourself and the library, and do not plan to return for at least a fortnight or longer. Tomorrow you can visit another branch, or perhaps the local university library, and find another target.

Whichever library you visit, always pick the softest targets. At the university library, you see a student highlighting his psychology textbook. On the back of his chair is a sports jacket that might contain his wallet and cell phone. But he is young and fit, and does not appear to be captivated by Freud’s interpretations of dreams. Lifting that jacket from the back of the chair would be unnecessarily risky. Remember that in larger libraries there are often several targets, and you need not victimize the first that you spot. Look around. Can you spot anything softer? Yes, in that carrel by the window is a well-known physics professor. He has opened his laptop and has been reviewing the doctoral dissertation of his star student, who has compiled fresh and fascinating data on subatomic particles.

15.4 Nature calls

Shortly after you spot the professor, he feels the need to visit the washroom. Still captivated by his student’s observations on muons, he walks away from his carrel, leaving behind his laptop, briefcase, and coat, which contains his BlackBerry and the keys to his house, car, office, and laboratory. The keys to the laboratory are clearly labeled as such, against the advice of the university’s security managers, who fear that one day a malefactor will gain entry to an area where radioactive materials or hazardous biological agents are stored.

You have about 3 minutes to take advantage of the professor’s absence. Stroll over to the carrel and act is if you were the rightful owner of the laptop, briefcase, and other items. Appear to be packing up in preparation to go home. If there are other patrons in the vicinity, they probably will not take a good look at you if they are occupied with their own work. Chutzpah enables you to appear calm and unhurried. Do not leave any of the professor’s property behind.

In these circumstances, it is wise to leave the library as soon as possible. You do not want to confront the professor in the washroom if you are carrying items that he can immediately identify as his own. Leave the campus quickly, and examine your new laptop when you arrive home. The professor has made a note of all of his passwords in a notebook that he kept in his coat pocket. You can sell the laptop to a fence tomorrow. The fence will delete all of the data, including the star student’s dissertation and the drafts of the professor’s next three articles, which are due on his editor’s desk next week. (Did the professor and his student back up all of these data? Perhaps. But if they did not, they will be in trouble. Aside from the embarrassment of failing to back up vital data, they might miss deadlines and lose the confidence of their sponsors and superiors. Backing up data is so easy that there is no excuse not to do so. But that is not your concern.)

15.5 Walkabouts

Be warned that there are a variety of security measures that, if used effectively by libraries, could make theft more difficult. Closed circuit TV (CCTV) and convex (or “fish eye”) mirrors to cover isolated areas have been in operation at libraries for decades, but these tools are useless unless library personnel monitor them continuously. In fact, library managers often assume that their installation alone will deter thieves and no further measures are necessary. At many libraries, the most effective antitheft measures include signage that warns patrons about thieves, vigilance, and patrols (or “walkabouts”) of public areas.

You should avoid any library that asks staff members to wander around public areas looking for people such as your crooked self. Sometimes these staff members will actually patrol washrooms as well. This sort of security routine is discouraging, but fortunately it is still uncommon. If the majority of library managers organized walkabouts, you could be forced to avoid libraries and seek other sources of revenue. Bank robbery is out, but there are growing opportunities in money laundering, and the future looks bright for manuscript forgers.

And there will be no need to submit a C.V.