5

PRIMPING AND PREPPING

Now that you’ve learned what to wear and how to wear it, walking out the door each morning should be easier. To round out your tool kit, let’s focus on overall grooming, skin care, and makeup maintenance. This is the icing on the cake! You have worked hard to get the right fit for your body type and to dress appropriately (and stylishly) for the office to ensure a professional image. Don’t let sloppy beauty or grooming habits ruin your efforts.

Many senior executives have shared horror stories from the office runway with me: poorly applied makeup, uncontrollable hair, skin that can’t seem to grow up, and a slew of other public problems, all the result of private negligence. Do not distract or detract from your message with chipped nail polish, dry flaky skin, electric-blue eye shadow, frizzy hair, or, if you are a man, a controllable five o’clock shadow. I will say this early so the men can relax: while you do not need to wear makeup (unless perhaps you are on TV frequently), you do need to read your parts of this chapter.

Unisex

Men and women have different grooming products and routines, but when it comes to skin care and body art, the guidelines are the same for everyone.

Skin Care

I’m not a doctor, cosmetologist, or any kind of skin care expert. However, I have been fortunate to work with many experts who have shared a trick or two. The most helpful lesson I learned is that to decorate your body, you need to take care of it. Good grooming leads to healthy, happy skin—something we need to make a priority. Whether you visit the dermatologist, the makeup counter, or the corner drugstore, your first step should be to neutralize your complexion. For men, the primary task is moisturizing (and yes, I will excuse your eye-roll). Just as you need to hydrate yourself (eight glasses of water daily) to stay healthy, your skin benefits from the twice-daily TLC a good moisturizer provides. The smoother your skin, the better it looks (whether you wear makeup or not).

Have you ever seen a woman with an overly “cakey” look? Most beauty bashers think this is a result of wearing too much makeup, but often it is because her skin has not been fully exfoliated or prepped to handle makeup. Breakouts, greasy skin, dry flakes, and clogged pores can all be helped by a good skin-care regimen. As with clothing, price is up to the purchaser, but here’s a word of advice: a high price tag is not necessarily an indication of effectiveness. Hollywood endorses expensive new finds daily, but drugstore brands like Cetaphil and Oil of Olay have been cited by supermodels (and fashion moguls) for years for being highly effective. Experiment, find the right product for you, and then use it daily. My fitness trainer often reminds me that the best cardio equipment is the one you like to use. It’s not about the specific type of machine—or the skin-care brand—it’s a commitment to being good to yourself.

There is so much research out there on the wonders of protecting your skin from the sun that you can hardly walk by the face-moisturizer section and find one without an SPF factor of at least 15. If you prefer plain moisturizer, consider buying a separate SPF product that goes on over or under your makeup. Even if crow’s feet or forehead wrinkles aren’t among your complaints (and Botox is not on your to-do list) you should be applying moisturizer with sun protection daily. Consider also investing in an under-eye cream to help hydrate, and prevent bags and dark circles; we have very few oil glands around the eyes and our skin is thinnest there. This will also help as you apply makeup—the better moisturized and maintained your skin is, the better it will hold a flawless look.

Body Art

Body art was once viewed as an absolute faux pas in the workplace, but the reality is that the face of young working Americans is changing. Literally. More and more people are decorating themselves with tattoos and piercings. At one point not so long ago, having two or three earrings in one ear was considered a deviation from the norm at work—the “extras” had to be removed before going on interviews. Now, people might bond at an interview as they share “ink” stories. What has remained the same is that while you may do what you will to your body, it cannot be a distraction in the workplace. Sure, there are plenty of sectors with more relaxed dress codes (academia, tech, fashion, creative media), but if you are under forty, you still have a few decades left to keep working and proving yourself along the way. Remove obvious body piercings that are traditionally inappropriate for work and cover up tattoos the best you can. You may have clients, investors, or just plain old bosses who hold a key to your success. Don’t let knuckle tattoos be the millstone around your “suit and tie” career.

Primping for Women

The world of beauty routines, makeup essentials, and hair care can be overwhelming. If you are blessed with fabulous skin (and I know many stylish women over seventy who have never worn a drop of makeup or used a blow dryer—hi, Mom), keep doing what you are doing. But if you have blemishes or broken blood vessels, frizzy hair, hard to manage nails, or are sometimes mistaken for being older or even younger, these tips can help.

Makeup

Makeup is not just about beauty—it is a tool any woman can use to help enhance her appearance and improve her likelihood of getting hired, climbing the corporate ladder, or influencing decisions in the boardroom. In fact, in talking to human resources executives, I have received feedback that varying degrees of makeup can affect perceived trustworthiness, likability, hireability, and competence both at first glance and over time. While this might sound alarming, the reality is that a woman’s appearance matters in a professional world. It is completely worth your while to cover splotchy skin, rosacea, blemishes, and under-eye circles, and to freshen up your face so it doesn’t implicate its owner as an overtired, multitasking professional. We already assume that you are essentially a superhero, so there is really no need to let your heroics show so obviously in your appearance.

Makeup means something different to every woman. To some, wearing makeup means applying only foundation and mascara, which—let me be very clear—is like walking out of your house wearing only your Spanx and sunglasses. Where is the rest? Other women’s makeup regimen includes only a touch of cherry ChapStick to their lips. On the other end of the spectrum, the extreme case won’t even head to the grocery store without putting on her “face.”

Some women apply makeup by standing right in front of a mirror (so close they could pluck their eyebrows); others apply it seated at a well-lit vanity. There isn’t necessarily a right or wrong method, but be clear about why you are putting on makeup in the first place. For example, are you wearing makeup to cover up skin issues? If so, make sure you are not wearing so much that you draw attention to the wrong areas. Or do you wear makeup because you think it is expected of you as an adult working woman? If so, you may be spending an unsustainable amount of time on an activity that isn’t working to your advantage. Perhaps you fall into the category of many women I know: “I only wear makeup to important meetings.” Be careful if you belong to this group, because people will notice the days you do and don’t wear makeup. In essence, you are signaling which days you deem important—and which ones you don’t. Ideally, you want to create a skin-care and makeup routine that works for your schedule and lifestyle. For most women I work with, fifteen minutes is about it. And, ladies, that’s how long men typically spend shaving, so don’t gripe about making time for a makeup routine.

If makeup is your hobby or you are a beauty blogger in your spare time, enjoy adding all the “extras” to your regimen. For the rest of you, feel free to gloss over the daily use of confusing products like powder (pressed and loose), eye shadow, primers, lip liners, and highlighters. Here is a makeup regimen that works well for your face, eyes, and lips when you have only fifteen precious minutes:

Face

Eyes

A lot of people spend time on eye shadow. Most people at the office do not notice the intricate handiwork of your eye shadow application. Instead, add eyeliner to the upper lid (use a pencil, crayon, or brush) to make your eyes look bigger, and apply mascara to the upper lashes, adding volume and length. Keep in mind that one swipe with the mascara wand is not enough. I repeat, one swipe is not enough. Brush the wand side to side, and up and down like a toothbrush. Do not dip the wand more than once (this introduces air into the bottle), but you must apply at least two coats for a visible effect. If your lashes clump up, wait a minute for them to dry and then clean and separate them with a spoolie (a disposable mascara wand) or a cotton swab.

Professional makeup artists may apply mascara differently, but most of us are amateurs at best. If you’d like to avoid the daily mascara grind but still want to draw attention to your eyes, use an eyelash curler or invest in individually applied fake eyelashes. I have friends and clients who love these. Go for the highest-quality lashes you can afford and you won’t be able to stop staring at yourself in the mirror! In general, spend more time on your overall face than on your eyes.

Lips

If you have bothered to do everything else, make sure to add something to your lips. Color will brighten and anchor your look. If color scares you, try gloss instead. Just please don’t do everything else and leave your lips blank. It’s like putting on a great dress and forgetting to put on your heels (or at least stylish flats).

Once you learn how to neutralize your skin—so it looks matte and free of blemishes —this fifteen-minute routine will help you feel and look like yourself when you go to work. Time doesn’t simply stand still. You have to keep up—replace clothing when it becomes worn out or your shape changes, and update your skin-care and makeup regimen as your skin evolves. If you have or develop a skin-care challenge like rosacea, be prepared to spend more time investing in the right products and learning how to use them. Just as you do when choosing the right look for your body type, take control and own this. Become an expert at camouflaging your problem areas and showing off your assets.

I first met Sally when she approached me about buying a dress for a special event. I was hosting a style seminar at Lord & Taylor in New York City, and we had so much fun gussying her up. I selected a sexy dress that immediately made her feel more confident and pretty. Sally was not a person who ordinarily enjoyed shopping; she had come to the store for assistance with shopping for her specific style needs. This made it all the more fun, as I watched her break out into what I call “the happy dance”—that moment you put something on, look in the mirror, and feel so good you just start moving! It’s one of my favorite client reactions and is such a privilege to see in the fitting room. Sally was a believer after trying on only a couple of dresses. I don’t think she knew she could feel so pretty so quickly, and it was an absolute delight to witness.

As we walked out of the fitting room to gather accessories, I asked Sally if she wanted to get her makeup done for the party. It’s a fun way to add glamour to a special evening. I could tell that makeup was not a topic she was enthusiastic about, as is often the case when you don’t know much about it—so I offered to help. We talked about her current regimen and compared those results to her desired look for later that evening. We decided a new lipstick was in order. I had also noticed, however, that Sally appeared to have persistent redness in her complexion, and now that I knew her regimen, I understood she wasn’t doing anything to cover it. Many ignore rosacea, or persistent redness, but it can be relatively easy to camouflage. Visits to the dermatologist can be very helpful for more serious cases and advice on how to keep flare-ups under control, but learning basic makeup tricks can be a quick confidence booster.

The best way to reduce overall redness is by washing your face regularly and using products that are oil and fragrance free, as well as by choosing allergy-tested products that don’t irritate your skin. The first step is to apply a moisturizer—often rosacea is exacerbated by sun exposure, so make sure to protect yourself by also wearing sunscreen. The second step is to use a yellow- or green-tinted foundation makeup to camouflage the redness. You can further target any individual red spots with a redness-specific concealer. I have had a lot of success with clients wearing the Redness Solutions line from Clinique—a well-kept secret, it can be purchased at Sephora and most department stores. You may also include skincare products like serums or creams to help reduce redness. Many dermatologists sell products as well, and other proven brands include Dermablend, Kiehl’s, and LaRoche Posay. If you suffer from redness in your skin, take action. You can pair any of these products with your regular makeup, or try mineral makeup if your skin is extremely sensitive.

As I walked Sally to the makeup area to select a lipstick, we made a quick stop at the Clinique counter to look at redness solutions. She mentioned wearing foundation sometimes so I offered to show her something that might work better. It turned out Sally had no idea she could actually cover up her redness. She’d thought it was something she had to live with. The happy dance she did in the cosmetics department was even more enthusiastic than the one she’d done in the fitting room!

Hair

By adulthood, you and your hair should have come to an understanding. Some women have known what to do with theirs since their teen years, others have fought their hair forever, some outsource the job with weekly blowouts, and still others just cut it all off (the “mom bob”). Whatever the case, don’t make it obvious to the world that you don’t know what to do with your hair. Ignorance about your hair can be perceived as a lack of self-awareness. Whether you prefer a structured or more natural look, you can always enhance your hair’s appearance; there are many products and techniques that can help you manage it.

Women with curls often approach me for suggestions for hairstyles appropriate for the office. Linda, a senior litigator at her law firm, told me about a male coworker’s off-the-cuff remark that only women with straight hair are taken seriously and that she should consider getting a straightening treatment. That guy clearly needs to learn some manners. Linda told me how she had fought her curls for years but upon turning fifty felt liberated by them.

Women with curls often have to cut their hair more regularly, and it definitely helps to visit a stylist with expertise in cutting curly hair. Routinely using special products will also help, but don’t tame the life out of your hair. The goal is not to change what you have, but to learn how to style it. Curls are absolutely acceptable in the boardroom. Frizzy, messy hair, however, is not. Together, Linda and I examined her styling and maintenance techniques to look for ways to enhance her professional image.

The Best Professional Haircut

”What is the best professional haircut?” is a popular question, along with “Should I wear my hair long or short at the office?” Women want to know both what looks best with their face shape from a style perspective and whether a conservative office environment demands a certain hair length or style. The answer has less to do with length and more to do with style. Do you have limp, straight hair? “Almost” straight hair? Hair that’s frizzy because you don’t have time to deal with it? Insatiable curls that you choose to ignore? If you wear a wig, extensions, or a weave, does it look real or fake? The best professional hairstyle is one that is neat and at least somewhat current and stylish.

Long hair is acceptable, but let’s define what is not: hair that you must lift up when going to the restroom is probably too long. Most hair this long is not your own, so people may think it’s fake. If it is your own, then chances are fair that it’s limp. Optimally, healthy long hair reaches the bust area; if it starts to get close to your belly button, it’s time to schedule a cut. It’s not fair, but hairstyles such as dreadlocks, sister curls, or afros—though they are increasingly accepted in the professional world—may still be frowned upon in some work environments. Corporate perceptions have a way to go to fully embrace more ethnic or even religious hairstyles. If you do choose to wear a casual or “nonconformist” hairstyle, make sure your clothing and overall style evoke a professional image.

If you wear a wig, either for fun or because of illness (see page 143 for more tips), make sure to invest in a good one. Wigs also provide style options without forcing you to commit to a specific color and cut. Many people wear them, and celebrities like Beyoncé and Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta are never without one. Like anything else you wear, flaunt it proudly. When it comes to beauty and style habits, know when to save and where to splurge.

Genetics and hair texture have everything to do with your choices when it comes to how to wear your hair. If you are considering whether to weave or not to weave, think about this: the best style for any kind of hair is a natural, sophisticated, neat one. Invest in maintaining that image. If your hair is truly unruly, get help. Weekly blowouts may not seem accessible for your lifestyle or schedule, but they can be found for $30—I know wealthy CEOs who visit their celeb stylists for coloring their tresses but favor Hair Cuttery for blowouts. You may also want to think about taking a tutorial at a nearby hair salon or learning to use one of my favorite tools for hair novices: a hair dryer with brush attachment.

A sophisticated girlfriend taught me this do-it-yourself technique in college when she couldn’t believe I didn’t blow-dry my hair. I was very averse back then to any type of heating tool. She gave me one lesson and I was hooked. The very next day, I walked down the street to a Duane Reade and bought my first Conair blow-dryer with brush attachment. I have since introduced this method of blow-drying to many of my clients; it works best on someone with fairly straight or wavy hair.

Step 1: Blow-dry your hair by finger combing until your hair is mostly dry or your patience runs out. Step 2: Secure the brush attachment to the blow-dryer and brush through your hair. This helps straighten while you dry. (Depending on how smooth or tangled your hair is, you may want to run a regular brush through first to get out any knots.) Step 3: Attach a comb to the blow dryer for a flatter, straighter style. Voilà! You have worked out the kinks of “almost” straight hair and added life to limp hair! The best part is that you didn’t have to learn any new maneuvers, watch a YouTube video, buy a special roller brush, or contort your arm. This technique may not be perfect, but it is easy and will work for all the people headed to work with limp, squiggly, straight hair—make the effort ladies. It does get noticed.

If you are looking for extra credit, add a flat iron to your routine. To save time and help keep your locks healthy, just flat-iron the ends after you blow-dry. This keeps the volume up top and your overall look polished. Also, before using any heating tools on your hair, be sure to apply thermal protection. Check the hair-product aisle or ask your stylist for sprays and serums that help protect your hair against the heat of blow-dryers and flat irons.

Let’s say that hair maintenance is not your thing. Perhaps you would rather get your hair out of your face using, say, a scrunchie? Clients have asked me, “Scrunchies are not as offensive as banana clips, so they must be okay, right?” Wrong! If you want to add an accessory to your hair, consider hair sticks (like chopsticks but smaller), decorative ponytail holders (elastics with pearls, bows, or silver or gold embellishments), or understated headbands. If you prefer that your styling to be as invisible as possible, try using hair bands the same shade as your hair to secure ponytails and buns. Bobby pins, bun holders, and other assorted “made for TV” hair accessories are created to blend in to your hair. If you are worried that elastics will leave a mark on your hair, heed this style warning: come to work in the hairstyle you expect to wear most of the day. If you wear it in the door, wear it out. Everyone would notice if you changed your outfit in the middle of the day—that’s why we don’t do it, barring a major accident. The same can be said for hairstyles, makeup, and shoes. The more obvious you make your hair accessory, the more attention you draw. Save your paisley-patterned scrunchies, crystal-embellished barrettes, and enormous pink hair clips for when you secure your hair to wash your face at night.

Gray Hair

Gray hair is natural and beautiful; a bottle blonde with mismatched brown eyebrows is not. Your hair texture may become more coarse as it grays, so use nourishing products to maintain healthy-looking, shiny locks. Exposed roots and bad dye jobs will make you look older than salt-and-pepper tresses. Be kind to your hair, and remember that even if you don’t see the top of your head, everyone else does. And yes, people taller than you can probably see it’s time to color your roots before you can. You can move your part or color your roots with a short-term spray, but once you start coloring, it’s a difficult commitment to break. Be prepared to invest both your time and money.

Nails

Do you go dark or light? Long or short? Real or fake? This all depends on your style personality and the health of your nails. The most important thing to consider when it comes to nail maintenance is that they should be clean and well maintained. For some, that means weekly trips to the neighborhood manicurist; for others, using a nail clipper after showering is sufficient. Faux pas at the office include chipped nails, dirty nails, cracked skin, numerous hangnails, and overly long, fake, loudly painted nails.

Color

Color is acceptable at the office, but you must wear it confidently and neatly. Keep moisturizing those hands in the winter, ladies. Keep in mind that, even if your dress code is a casual one, your nails shouldn’t be the topic everyone is talking about when you leave the room. If you feel the need to match your outfit to your nail color (daily), then the polish you chose is probably too bright for you.

Don’t just randomly choose colors you like—make this a strategic decision. Try on colors before committing. Treat it like a painting decision in your home—would you throw any old color on your walls? Be tactical. Do you have a big meeting this week but also a fun personal event? Go bold. Do you love pale neutrals because they match everything, but get tired of them quickly? Add a layer of glitter on the top half of your nail for a subtle highlight. If you’re devoted to wearing dark or black clothes, and enjoy color and texture, then treat your nails as an accessory. If you wear patterns daily, stay away from bold colors so they don’t compete with your outfit.

If your nails chip or peel after three days, be prepared to maintain them daily if you frequently wear dark polishes. You may need to add color to tips, brush on an extra topcoat to help seal in color, or remove the color sooner than expected. Often, a lighter color is easier to maintain in an office environment, because cracks and chips are less noticeable. The world of nail colors and technology has advanced in the last few years, and the category of soak-off gel colors (like Shellac, Gelish, or OPI Axxium) may also be a good option for the person whose nails don’t hold color. Gel colors often last up to two or three weeks and need to be changed only once your nail grows so much it is noticeable (or if you’ve begun to pick it off).

Women who spend all day in uniforms, including pharmacists, postal workers, food service professionals and medical assistants, and those who work in creative fields may belong to the privileged groups where connections with customers and clients are created, and maintained, with a unique personal style touch. Indulge in nail styles that are fun but keep them looking clean and friendly. In other industries like health care, science, or education, it may be preferable not to wear nail polish. Women who work with their hands all day or who simply don’t like nail polish should still consider shaping and buffing their nails. This requires much less maintenance and is still very professional.

Length

How long should your nails be? Not long enough that you can hear them! Once your fingers start to make that clickety-clacking sound on the keyboard, your nails have grown too long to be considered professional. The other challenge here, of course, is perception. If your nails are that long, people start to wonder what’s under there—dirt? Bacteria?

There is a large contingent of women who apply fake nails. The trick to making them look office appropriate is to make them resemble real nails. Keep them on the shorter side and try a wrap style that appears closer to your style of nail. Many women wear fake nails not just for appearance but because their nails are weak (or they are nail biters) and showing their real nails is not an option. But it’s easy to spot fake nails. They tend to be fairly thick, and if they’re kept long, that thickness may be more obvious. Whether you choose to keep your nails natural, buffed, painted, or artificial, maintain a shorter, well-shaped length (rounded or square is really a personal preference), and your audience is less likely to notice the distinction.

Toenails

Toenails tend to peek out in warmer climates or in the summer. Keep them clean and short. If you enjoy pedicures, indulge. If you don’t like polish, just keep them well groomed and neat. Toenails can typically be louder in color than your fingernails, so here is a place to flex your fun muscles. However, the same guidelines used for fingers apply in terms of maintenance: anything chipped indicates a lazy summer at the beach, anything dirty indicates you don’t shower, and overly long toenails set off gross-out alarms. It doesn’t matter if these perceptions don’t match reality—it’s what people believe. Know that going in, and choose wisely. Never think that someone won’t look at your toes if you are wearing open-toed shoes. Trust me, someone will be bored and won’t be able to stop staring.

Body

Women have so many things to keep in mind before walking out the door to work. We have now addressed fashion basics like maintaining healthy skin-care practices, applying your makeup in fifteen minutes, admitting you need to learn to deal with your hair, and practicing simple nail etiquette. Now, let’s talk briefly about even more delicate topics that HR professionals often ask me about. You might think some of these answers are fairly obvious, but questions on the appropriateness of deodorant, perfume, self-tanner, and even shaved legs keep me pretty busy!

Deodorant

Don’t wear too much or too little. Too much can stain your clothing and become an indicator of insecurity. The trick? If someone were to come in for a congratulatory hug, she should not be able to smell any body odor. Perfume, perhaps. Body odor, no. How do you know if you smell? Take a whiff when you remove your clothes at night.

Some women never smell but leave wet stains in the underarm area of their shirts. This is normal. If you suffer from excessive sweating, dress in fabrics that will help minimize this (stay away from silk), wear dark colors, and dress in layers. This condition can be very embarrassing, but can also be easily remedied with a prescription from your doctor (for Drysol) or a simple, periodic procedure (Botox).

What happens when your favorite (or really any) work shirt has pit stains? I know you don’t think anyone can see them if you keep your arms down or wear a jacket, but it’s not acceptable to continue wearing that piece! Those yellowed areas are not invisible. You will make a move during the day that will reveal them—at the office vending machine when you reach up to make your chip selection, or when you take your jacket off in the privacy of your office because you are hot. This will inevitably be the moment when the boss walks in. You would never think of wearing a shirt with a giant bleach stain on the front or a huge rip, so why should sweat stains make the cut? They shouldn’t. The guideline for pit-stained clothing: toss it. It’s gross.

Perfume

The impact of scent can be huge. While it may feel sexy to smell good, keep in mind that everyone has a different interpretation of a positive smell. Scents are often linked to memories, and you don’t want to find yourself part of a bad one. For example, you walk into an interview and your perfume reminds your potential employer of a past employee he fired. That is not where you want his head—you want him focused, not distracted. To be safe, when going on an interview, opt to be scent-free.

Some people love the smell of perfume but others are allergic. This means you need to be sensitive about wearing it to the office. In fact, some offices are declared scent-free environments. If you are able to wear fragrance to work, make sure to select a scent that is not offensive or bold enough to cause a migraine. You may want to consider wearing an eau de toilette—many designer perfumes make this lighter version of their most popular fragrances. My preferred methods of application, depending on the scent: give the air in front of you a good spritz and then walk into it, or add a little to your wrists and the back of your neck. This helps ensure that your audience won't be choking on your scent as you enter a room.

Self-Tanner

Self-tanner is a grooming product that often makes resurgence in the spring. Insecure about pale legs or simply searching for that summer glow, we start the hunt for creams, oils, towelettes, or any new products that have hit the market since last summer. As with nail care, hair care, and makeup, the trick here is to maintain a natural appearance. Streaky self-tanned legs scream drugstore potion instead of a vacation in Turks and Caicos.

Bronzing oil tends to moisturize while also adding sheen to your skin with flecks of bronze. Because this product is not quite a self-tanner, missing a spot is not as obvious. One of my favorite must-have products to help achieve this shimmer is Nars Body Glow. It smells like vacation and is easy to apply. This is always in my stylist’s kit, and I never go on television, to a party, or to a big appearance without wearing it!

Body Hair

I’d now like to write in all caps to emphasize my message: ANYONE CHOOSING TO WEAR A SKIRT, DRESS, CAPRIS, OR ANKLE PANTS SHOULD SPORT A HAIR-FREE LEG. This may seem obvious, but trust me, it is a guideline that some do not follow. I have presented seminars at Fortune 500 companies only to find an exec in the front row wearing a great pencil skirt, a fitted white blouse, and a stylish wide belt but who is accenting her beautiful ensemble with hairy legs. This is not okay. Not okay at all. Did she forget? Is it against her culture or beliefs? Folks, the answer here does not really matter. I’m not saying you always need to shave your legs for work—that’s why pants were invented. You just can’t wear skirts, dresses, capris, or even ankle pants and show off a hairy leg in a professional environment. Ditto goes for hair in the underarm area. If it’s against your principles to shave it, then don’t show it.

Grooming for Men

A skin and grooming regimen for men can range from five to fifteen minutes depending on whether you decide to shave and trim your facial hair, or just add cologne, hair gel, and moisturizer. I frequently speak at military bases in classes for transitioning soldiers. Every month or so, a three-day career course is organized for soldiers planning to leave the military. This training includes everything from résumé writing to image consulting. After a career in the military spanning twenty years, or even one lasting only five, a brush-up on interview skills and lessons about corporate culture in the private sector can be helpful. I am always impressed at the lengths our country’s most powerful employer goes to in order to teach its own the skills they need to rejoin the civilian workforce.

These groups of tall, physically fit men in uniform always bring me the most interesting questions about fashion and style. Often, these men can still fit into their suits from twenty years earlier (physical training requirements can be fierce) and want to know if they can still wear them. Depending on the cut and style of the suit, balanced with current trends, that answer is sometimes yes. Once I have a group of men talking about this topic, their level of interest and excitement increases—until we talk about wearing moisturizer with sun protection. Shaving, part of the grooming process, is innate for men, but applying moisturizer is something only their mothers or wives do. Typically, their resistance is based more on a departure from their routine than fear for their masculinity; sunscreen is seen as something to do at the beach. Luckily, by the end of the hour, most have their shopping lists in hand and are ready to hit the PX (Post Exchange, like a department store located on base).

Hair

I met Joe during a seminar at the Pentagon. He was one of those guys who gave me a bit of pushback. Bald and tall, Joe didn’t think anyone ever stood close enough to him to see whether he moisturized. As we engaged and I moved closer to Joe’s seat, I immediately noticed something I knew I could help him with. We discussed the merits of showers and deodorant—Joe agreed these are important. So then I asked him about the flaky, irritated skin on his scalp. He thought I was joking! After being bald for so long, Joe never thought about his head. Guys with hair often use product to style their coiffures. Those who don’t have hair should moisturize. After hot days in the sun, Joe’s scalp was clearly burned. I asked him if he would now feel comfortable with his current skin-care regimen during an interview. Luckily, he realized there was room for improvement.

I meet a lot of men who are balding, and they often ask my opinion on their hair. They wonder if they should own the shaved head look and stop trying to cover up their hair loss or keep the little hair they have for a more professional look. Like most of my answers, my philosophy here is simple: do what looks natural and makes you feel empowered. A comb-over is not fooling anyone. Culturally, we tend to see younger guys shaving their heads or getting a short buzz cut while older, more conservative men enjoy maintaining a hairstyle. Either way, regular hair and scalp maintenance is a necessity. If you do choose to shave your head yourself, please use a mirror. I can’t tell you how many times a shaved head is accompanied by an overlooked patch in the back.

If you are on the opposite extreme and have a head full of hair, please take care of it. Don’t expect that because you are lucky enough to have that mane at age fifty-five, you don’t need to use a little product to control it. Get regular haircuts and maintain a professional style that matches your wardrobe. If you suffer from dandruff, stock an appropriate therapeutic shampoo for regular use. Don’t leave mad-scientist hair unattended unless you’re actually a mad scientist.

Facial Hair

The best advice I can offer you here: pick a style and stick to it. If you are a beard or mustache guy, trim your facial hair and keep it neat. If you like a freshly shaved look, shave daily. Scruff is en vogue, but may not be appropriate for your workplace; if you decide that it is, just be sure to maintain it. Shave around the borders and trim frequently to show your boss and coworkers that this is actually a style choice and not caveman chic. Don’t come to work with bloody spots or tissue stuck to your face. And yes, people really do this. Try instead shaving-relief products like Tend Skin and Barc Bump Down Relief.

Body Hair

Once you reach a certain age (often, it’s the early thirties) you may get noticeable nose hairs or wild eyebrows that need pruning. Ear hair usually makes its appearance a little later. Once you spot more than you can take care of on a whim in the morning before work, it’s time to invest in a pair of tweezers and a nose-hair trimmer. Sometimes you can ask your barber to maintain these critical spots, but definitely keep an eye out for hair growth, and keep trimming. These excess hairs can be extremely distracting and offensive to others. They’re easy to remove, so no excuses! Regular scissors will often work for nose hair, though a trimmer is quick and convenient. If you received one last holiday season, someone was trying to give you a hint.

Chest hair is another spot men sometimes forget to address in a professional environment. Guys, this is what undershirts are for. Please stop wearing V-neck undershirts with open-collar dress shirts—they help with perspiration, but we see your chest hair. If you are an overly hairy individual, this does not work in your favor. If you are a patchy-haired individual, this also does not work in your favor. Only if you have no hair (and if you wax your chest, this means you must also have no irritation) can you wear an open-collar shirt and reveal a little chest. The rest of you, please cover up. Other men don’t want to see your hairy chest at work and neither do women.

Nails

This is an easy topic. The rules have not changed since your mother first cut your nails when you were a baby: keep them short and keep them clean. Translation: keep a nail clipper in the bathroom and trim your nails after showers, then file the edges smooth, if necessary. Dirty nails are acceptable only when you work with greasy products that probably stain your nail beds. Not in your job description? Then you know what to do.

Cologne and Deodorant

Corporate clients often share funny human resources stories with me. I’ll never forget the time a vice president told me about interviewing a high-level candidate whose cologne was so strong it activated her allergies. Others have told me that some employees are recognized solely by the scent they leave behind in elevators on the daily ride. Your scent should not be detectable unless someone comes in close enough for a hug.

An advertising firm in San Francisco once brought me in to discuss a very delicate olfactory topic with an employee: body odor. In my experience, there are two categories men fall into when it comes to B.O.: ones who wear deodorant and have a clean appearance but don’t know they also need an antiperspirant to prevent the buildup of odor-causing bacteria; and the ones who choose not to wear a dual-acting antiperspirant-deodorant because they enjoy having a “manly” smell. Yes, there really are men who believe this (and who don’t live in the woods or have “fresh-air” jobs).

Jack was an entitled sort of guy. Smart and driven, he had climbed the corporate ladder quickly. He was tall and bearded, with a physique that indicated he might have been a football or rugby player at one time. When we first met, I could barely detect his “manly” smell. But as he led me to his office and I walked behind him, the scent became stronger. As we arrived in his spacious office it felt as though the air had stopped circulating.

Jack and I discussed his new role: mentoring young people at the office. A guy who had done very well for himself, he was looking forward to giving back. He had recently had some personal setbacks and challenges that had opened him up to starting a new program at the office for employees. However, Jack was surprised more people were not taking advantage of this new initiative. Little did he know, there had been numerous complaints from both men and women about the way Jack smelled and his perceived lack of professionalism. It was hard to take him, and especially his advice as a mentor, seriously.

More women sit at the helm these days, and the number of working mothers is rising, evening out the boardroom. Women often notice more details than men, and their personal grooming standards are high—the workplace is not the boy’s club it once was. There may have been a time when one man could excuse another’s grooming faux pas, but no longer. When you smell, either as a result of too much cologne or a naturally unpleasant odor, people will comment.

I was honest with Jack. We discussed how a person’s image is, in fact, a corporate tool. The conversation naturally moved into Jack’s image at the office and his grooming habits. He shared with me that he didn’t wear deodorant because he felt it took away from his “manliness.” I decided to try an exercise: we walked around the office floor and I had him tell me if he detected any unique odors. Did the kitchen smell like microwaved popcorn? Did the woman in the elevator have on a heavy dose of perfume? Smell plays a powerful role in connecting with people, and the most successful smell is a neutral one. Unless someone is standing less than a foot away, she should be unable to smell your aftershave, deodorant, or shampoo.

Suddenly, Jack was acutely aware of scents, and as we walked back into his office, I seized the opportunity to ask him if he thought his space had an odor. Then he finally understood why he needed to start wearing deodorant–antiperspirant, and spray his office with Febreze. Jack told me recently that his mentorship program has since been incredibly successful, and branches around the country have continued his initiative.

Parting Thoughts

You will notice that I didn’t mention in this chapter the necessity of brushing your teeth. Hopefully, tooth brushing is part of your regular routine (and if it’s not, at least your dentist knows about it). Usually, when our teeth feel dirty we brush—it’s a reactive response. Some things come naturally. However, your skin doesn’t always tell you when you need sunscreen, your eyelashes don’t tell you when mascara will get you noticed, and your stray stubble doesn’t indicate when you’re putting people off. It’s your job to think about “best practices” in your grooming habits and keep yourself looking professional at work.