Juggle Parenting
Having kids at home adds special challenges, and that’s especially the case if you don’t have childcare or activities lined up.
My kids—13 and 15—had their in-person schooling suspended in mid-March for at least two weeks, which ultimately was “the rest of the school year.” Two months later, we’ve gone through at least three changes in district and state planning, plus a week of “spring break,” as that was built into the instructional schedule.
Some parents of younger children are finding the task of “home school” a full-time job. Others are concerned their kids’ schools are stressing children out by keeping them to an always-on-video, full school day plus homework schedule.
What you must recall, if you’re taking care of children of any age during your working day, is that there has never been a time in history when adults were expected to both manage full-time school for kids and a full-time job. This is not something people plan for or that’s happened before. We need to continue to work on solutions, rather than hold ourselves (or our children or have others hold us or our children) to unrealistic expectations.
Set Boundaries for Kids
All the advice earlier, in Set Boundaries and Preserve Professionalism, applies doubly, if not exponentially, when you have kids at home. This is even more the case in a two-parent home if you work part-time, spend more of your time parenting, or earn less than your partner—the other parent’s working time may be considered more “valuable.”
If your kids are school age and it’s during the time that school is normally in session, you and they may be facing the added stress of an indefinite time before they return to the classroom.
Your kids will need more and clearer visual reminders that you’re at work than—one hopes—other adults would require. Signage will help, either in front of you on a table or on a closed door.
Expect interruptions, especially from younger kids or children who may need your time and comfort during the best of times and who may be scared or out of sorts right now. But if you’re working at home, you will have to figure out how to manage the interruptions without harming your ability to make a living, likely a critical part of keeping your family safe and healthy.
You will lose productivity in the process, and you should try to accept that upfront. Employers will be living in a dream world if they think that work will proceed as if you are in an office, and some may place demands on you or criticize you when the needs of your children who are also forced to be at home take temporary precedence.
Remember this: you are in the right, not your boss. While your employer has objectives and is likely also mildly freaking out about keeping a work group, office, division, or business going, this is a unique time in modern society and we will all be making adjustments.
However, depending on the age and personality of your kids, you may also have to lay down the law quite firmly about what constitutes an appropriate interruption.
Bring Kids in to Work
Every day may be Take Your Child to Work Day for a while, and it may help to conceive of whatever period that involves in the same way.
This advice doesn’t work for every job. A nuclear engineer or corporate graphic designer may not have a place for their kid to step in to contribute to what you’re doing. But you can help them feel as if they have a stake.
For workers with any creative component to their job, you may be able to set a younger kid, from 5 to 15, with a parallel activity that’s similar to what you’re doing. If you’re creating a logo in Adobe Illustrator, they could be working with crayons, pens, colored pencils, or a drawing program on a similar task.
Older kids may have enough of their own activities, but they may also be able to help research a task, storyboard ideas, or otherwise contribute in a small way but just enough that they feel seen and useful during an uncertain time—and might actually offset some of lost productivity from being at home.
Likewise, you might be able to use your child as a sounding board of sorts. If you’re preparing a presentation for work, writing an article or blog post, prepping for a meeting, or just trying to sort out how something sounds, even young children often are good with logic and narrative.
Trying to explain something complicated to someone not quite at your level of sophistication may resemble a bit too exactly talking to your boss. And some kids are brighter than their parents, as I can testify with my two at home.