Chapter 2
Honing Your Voice
The warm-up
As we’ve established, our lives are filled with stories. And every day, each and every one of us is using these stories to build and share connections, face-to-face, through email or social media, over the phone, or via FaceTime. We use media outlets to feed stories to each other on an almost incessant basis. Some of us, for the good of many; some, for self-gain; some, unfortunately, for the detriment of others. The motivations are as infinite as the voices.
In this matrix of interconnectedness, it is increasingly necessary for each of us to not just tell a story, but understand and articulate a unique and necessary voice.
In this matrix of interconnectedness, it is increasingly necessary for each of us to not just tell a story, but understand and articulate a unique and necessary voice. Before we get started, let’s gauge where you are as a storyteller and identify the type of communicator you’d like to become.
Share • 5 minutes
Using the prompts below, set your timer to 2 minutes and record (audio or video) yourself telling a story about one of the following things:
• The best or worst group meal you’ve ever had,
• A fond childhood memory or defining moment, or,
• Your most memorable concert or travel experience.
Before you record, take 3 minutes to write down a few notes if you need to, but don’t worry about writing out a full script. Just rely on your natural instincts and thoughts to tell the story as candidly and fully as possible.
Reflect • 10 minutes
The beauty of the previously shared memories is that we can easily recall how they made us feel. This is the same authentic approach you want to bring to your personal introductions and stories. Take 5 minutes to review what you recorded, then, using your notebook, take 5 minutes to respond to these reflection questions:
• What did you notice about your delivery, personality, and style?
• What stood out most about how you told your story?
• What was your thought process for pulling the information and story together?
• What was your favorite piece of information you shared?
• What was missing from the story that you might want to include next time?
Impromptu Challenge II
Share • 3 minutes
Pretend that you’re introducing yourself to me. Using the prompts below, take 2 minutes to jot down a few important details about yourself, then set your timer to 1 minute and record yourself sharing:
• A little bit about yourself,
• Why you’re using this guide, and,
• Your top one to three most challenging or frequent introduction scenarios.
• Examples: Elevator pitches, job interviews, informational meetings
Take 5 minutes to review what you recorded, then set your timer to 5 minutes and write down your reflections to the following questions:
• What stood out most about how you told your story?
• Did it differ from Impromptu Challenge I? If so, how?
• What was your thought process for pulling the information and story together?
• What picture were you trying to paint about yourself?
• Did that intention create differences between your tone or confidence in comparison to Impromptu Challenge I?
• What was missing from the story you were telling about yourself?
What if you were just as passionate and enthusiastic when making your personal introduction as you were when sharing your personal memory? Imagine the impact you could have if you spoke about your goals and passions with as much zeal as when discussing your favorite actress, musician, or even television show. Consider the kind of first impression you’d make if you lit up when speaking about your life’s work in the same way you do when you hear or recall your favorite song. This is possible.
Revisiting your reflections, let’s begin to think further about the differences between your two challenges. What felt good about recalling your personal memory? Does that feeling translate to any parts of your professional journey? What can you appreciate about how you represented yourself in Impromptu Challenge II? And how can you merge the best from both challenges to create an authentic and passionate framing of you and your unique contributions and desires?
We’ll dive deeper into content development in the next chapter, so now is the time to really think about who you are and how you are portraying who you are through your personality and communication styles. As we move forward, keep your most difficult or frequently experienced introduction scenarios in mind. Reflect intentionally on how you might apply the above insights to frame you as an individual in those moments.
Identifying your style
[E]ach of our voices has something unique to say. Not only should I not mold my life to the demands of external conformity; I can’t even find the model by which to live outside myself. I can only find it within.
—Charles Taylor, Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of Recognition
When telling any story, it’s important to think about the central figures involved. Who said what, when, to whom, how, and for how long? And sometimes most important, why did they say it? If we’re working to tell the story of your life, even if but a brief portion of it—for instance, how you’re doing today—then we must understand the central figure: you.
In order to understand you in entirety, of course, we’d need to spend a bit more time than the length of this lesson getting to know you. But consider the work we’re doing together to be a process of taking distinct silhouettes, previously two-dimensional representations of you against the backdrop of categorical social settings. If this is so, then what we need to do is better understand you and your best representation in specific life moments, settings, or situations.
How are you best illuminated as a student, colleague, employee, boss, or volunteer?
How are you best illuminated as a student, colleague, employee, boss, or volunteer? What characteristic or intensity is exclusive to you?
External responses to these questions are important, yes, but more important is what you notice, attend to, and relish in yourself.
Once you identify these answers, it’s important you, then, define the best way for you to embody them while engaging with others. This will serve as your ideal communication profile, or style, reminding you of how you want to communicate with others. Frequently referencing this profile will help you tailor your responses to most authentically discuss you as the central figure to any introduction.
Impromptu Challenge III
Practice • 30 minutes
Block out half an hour to write down your reflections on the questions below. Feel free to take more time, if necessary.
1. How would you describe your personality?
2. What parts of your personality do you want to stand out when you’re introducing yourself to others?
3. When you’re engaging different groups of people—whether in casual conversation, group work, meetings, or presentations—when are you most confident?
4. What are your communication strengths when you are introducing yourself?
5. Where do you feel you have room for improvement? Why?
6. How would you describe your ideal communication style?
7. What public figure or celebrity best represents your ideal communication style?
8. What specific communication changes (think body language, tone, volume, eye contact) would you have to make to achieve this communication style?
9. What would a stronger, more authentic introduction make possible for you in your personal, professional, or academic endeavors?
10. How willing are you to do the work to make the previously mentioned changes to your communication style?
Theo Martins
I met Theo Martins in Brooklyn, New York, in 2010 while hosting an anniversary party and music showcase for a popular blog. He was on the bill to perform that evening, and it was my first time seeing him live. Although he hailed from a city with a small town feel (Providence, Rhode Island), I remember Theo bringing big city energy to the stage that night. From confidence to cadence to style, he engaged the crowd effortlessly, building in conversations covering everything from his obsession with video games to his love for cereal. The crowd ate it up. Theo stood out as a star—seemingly without even trying—just by making the commitment to present his full and authentic self to the audience. My favorite communicators are the ones who consistently do just that.
Today, Theo’s based in Los Angeles making an even bigger splash on the West Coast than he did in New York that night. While he continues to produce and record music, he’s added in a new entrepreneurial focus called Good Posture, a multimedia company housing Theo’s creative endeavors in music, art, entertainment, and fashion. Through it, Theo releases limited clothing collections on his own time and his own terms, defying the conventional approach of traditional seasonal releases in fashion. He also runs a self-produced sitcom, The Theo Show, that airs daily on his Instagram feed.
Using traditional and social media, Theo openly shares the process of taking his ideas from inception to execution. With a “guy next door” feel and zany antics, he’s identified some of the most important, entertaining parts of his life journey, and excels at communicating them casually and often, interestingly enough, with very few words.
Theo’s willingness to experiment, merging both his personal and professional brands, is a reminder of just how much our life stories are ours to design, whether we’re telling them online or in person. To learn more about Theo and his work, visit havegoodposture.com.
Like any other craft, storytelling requires work. And part of the work of developing compelling stories about yourself is developing the knowledge and skills it takes to discuss yourself in any moment. That means that you might have to answer these questions a few different times and in a few different ways if you’re trying to plan for multiple introduction scenarios.
Like any other craft, storytelling requires work.
Consider this an independent study in self-perception, because how you perceive yourself is, most often, how you present yourself. Going forward, you’ll need to frequently refer to these answers as a reminder of you as your self-constructed central figure, in addition to exactly how you want to dialogue with the world around you.