Resource A
Choosing Your Board
Finding Support for Making Sound Choices
by Richard Leider
(http://www.inventuregroup.com)
It is essential to know yourself. Once you have gone through a process to create self-awareness, you are ready to choose the right people to sit on your board to help you make sound choices. Who do you want on your board and why do you want them? Just as important, what do you expect from them and what do you have to offer them?
Why Do You Want Them?
We assume you want board members who have wisdom. By this we mean people who understand the importance of heeding your life’s calling and living and working on purpose.
Naming your purpose is the first step in your quest to working and living on purpose. In answering the question, “Who are you?” many questions usually come up. They may include:
- What does working and living on purpose look like?
- What does succeeding look like at this stage of your life?
- How do you envision the hoped-for future and how do you get there?
- 166How do you hold yourself accountable for the goals you have set?
These are the kinds of questions your Sounding Board can help you to answer.
Selecting Your Sounding Board
Your Sounding Board is made up of trusted individuals who listen well and offer you courageous conversation. They may have only one thing in common—you! But they all meet the following criteria:
They’re interested (versus interesting)
They are genuinely interested in you and want to see you succeed.
They care (versus cure)
They are not interested in fixing you, but care about you as you are.
They listen deeply
They are focused on listening to you and are not distracted by other concerns or issues when they are with you.
They ask great questions
They don’t seek to tell you what you need, but ask questions to help you discover the answers within yourself.
They practice courageous conversation
They are honest with you and will tell you the truth.
Your Sounding Board can include your spouse/partner, family members, colleagues, models and mentors, friends, coaches, teachers, spiritual advisors, and wise elders. If you convened your board to discuss a major life/work challenge or your future direction, who would be sitting around the table 167with you? If you don’t relate to a board table, consider a circle, a campfire, or a coffee table.
My Sounding Board
To begin selecting board members, list below those people who you typically call when you need someone to listen to you, guide you, or tell you the truth.
- Friends or relatives I can call or visit when I need to make a sound choice.
- Mentors or guides who can serve as sounding boards for my choices and actions.
- Professional friends and resources who are available to me as part of a sounding board (i.e., colleagues, financial planning counselors).
- Spiritual and community advisors (e.g., community leaders, clergypersons) that can offer me support in challenging times.
- Wise elders and teachers who help me see the big picture.
Sounding Board Selection Checklist
It’s time to select your Sounding Board: three to five individuals who will serve as your Sounding Board for one year. The following questions are designed for you to ask yourself about a potential board member. The more insight you have about a person and his or her attitudes, philosophies, hopes, and values, the more clearly you can work together. The more ways in which you are connected to a board member, the more you are going to trust that person enough to reveal yourself to him or her.
These five questions do not constitute a quiz that one can pass or fail, but they will give you some awareness of key criteria for effective board members.
- What is the single most important quality this person has added to my life?
- If you had a serious challenge, how do you think this person would respond?
- Can you think of a time when this person listened deeply to you?
- 169Does this person reflect more or less than you do? Can you name a book you think you would both enjoy reading?
- Can you think of a time when you had a courageous conversation (deep truth telling) with this person?
Other Sounding Board Members
When creating your Sounding Board, don’t be afraid to make an unconventional selection. Choose your favorite author, a biblical or historical figure, someone you knew who has passed on, or a fictional character from a book or movie to serve on your board. Imagine what these people would tell you if you could talk with them. Consider what you know about them and apply their wisdom to your situation.
Sarah is a professional in the insurance industry. Early in her career, Sarah relied on a mentor to help her when she faced challenges in her professional and, sometimes, her personal life. Although this mentor passed away a few years ago, Sarah still “consults” with him when she faces difficult decisions or challenges in her life. She imagines how her mentor might have responded if they could converse, and she takes his advice to heart.