We began this book by saying that everything you will ever do as a leader is based on one audacious assumption: you matter. We now end this book with a similarly audacious proposition—that everything you do as a leader begins with one word: yes. Until you say yes, nothing great can happen.[95]
Take Ivana Sendecka, a young woman in Slovakia with a rather ambitious dream of wanting to prepare her country's next generation of leaders to embrace the future of Slovakia as their own.
Ivana's passion for leadership was evident very early in her life, when her dedication and skill earned her the role of captain on the Slovak Junior National Basketball Team for five years. It stayed with her in college where she pursued a master's degree in strategic management at the best business school in Slovakia—the Faculty of Management at Comenius University—and later as she adventurously relocated to Dubai for an internship experience, which then turned into three years of working there. But on a winter vacation back to Slovakia in 2007, Ivana realized that it was time to devote herself to the important work that needed to be done at home.[96]
Ivana left the Middle East and began a new quest in Bratislava, Slovakia, with a global consulting firm. In working with clients on team and organizational issues, Ivana discovered her love for leadership and personal development. She knew she wanted to "unleash talents in people, show them other perspectives in life and business, and [demonstrate] how via mindful leadership everyone can make a difference."
She also began to question the status quo around her and to challenge accepted norms. She wanted to know why, in a country with so many talented people, they were so shy in expressing their fullest potential. She saw reliable and trustworthy people who were delivering on-time quality work, but who didn't seem to have the confidence in their own abilities. She saw a generation of young people who were the first to grow up in a liberated country, but who had to work in a system that was held over from an older regime. She saw how her contemporaries were immigrating to other countries to get a better education, find better jobs, and make a decent living. She wanted to know what could be done to make her homeland more attractive to its own citizens, visitors, and most importantly to its next generation.
An avid social networker, Ivana began a series of online and Skype dialogues with her first mentor, Gary Haslam, on ways in which she could improve her own capacity to coach her clients and colleagues to become better leaders. Then she came across a book by Ron Carucci entitled Leadership Divided,[97] and even though she had never met Ron in person, she reached out to him on Facebook. (This is a very logical place for a Millennial to turn when wanting to connect with a new friend. It's also how we met Ivana for the first time.) The connection was almost immediate, and over the next few weeks Ivana and Ron collaborated on a document that would provide the architecture for developing emerging talent in Slovakia.
Ivana was so impassioned by her purpose and so committed to her cause, that she knew she had to devote all her time to it. She also learned she couldn't do this inside a large consulting firm, so she quit her job and set out on her own. She had no funding, no infrastructure, and, at first, no other people. She had only her passion, her persistence, and a very big dream.
In the face of the obstacles that every startup venture confronts, Ivana forged ahead. Her research revealed that despite the frustrations that were driving young Slovaks to want to leave the country, they had a deep hunger for creating something more vital in their homeland. The challenge was how to help these emerging leaders believe that they could have thriving lives and careers while maintaining the uniqueness of their heritage in Slovakia. Ivana's generation had been raised under the communist flag of Czechoslovakia and were young when the borders opened and the country split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. They now had the chance to define what it meant to be Slovak in a new nation. Were they up for this daunting task, or would they unwittingly perpetuate the passive, cynical legacy they so desperately wanted to flee?
After more online conversations with Ron, an idea was born: The Next Generation Leaders of Slovakia (NGLS). And an event was planned: The very first conference of NGLS, where young leaders would gather to share their hopes and envision the future of Slovakia. The effort took five months of virtual collaboration among a small team[98] and countless hours of hard work. It all paid off. On November 6, 2009, the doors opened to the first-ever NGLS conference, where more than one hundred emerging leaders began envisioning the future of Slovakia.
But it would not have happened had Ivana listened to the advice she was given four months prior.
In a conversation with a Slovak colleague whom she greatly respects, she was asked: "What do you want to do in life? What do you want your job to be like? What do you want to do for a living?" Ivana was so charged up at that moment that she responded very spontaneously:
I really love coaching, I really love people, I love talking to people, I love interacting with people, unleashing the talents in them because I know it's possible from my own life experiences. I love to do workshops, I love to get people together and create something really mind-blowing. And use technology, use social media, give speeches; this is what I really love. I love people, and I really love showing them the purpose in life, how businesses can be improved, how we can be more human. This is what I'd love to do in life.[99]
Despite her personal enthusiasm, however, the response Ivana received was not at all encouraging. Her colleague told her that her dream was ridiculous, that she had no experience in anything that she mentioned, and that he wondered who would be listening to her. He questioned the viability of social technologies, saying they were a bubble that would soon burst. And he offered this analogy about her capabilities. He said to Ivana, "You are like a toy car. The world out there is like a Formula One, and you simply can't compete with Formula One if you are a toy car. So just forget it."
That would have been enough to stop most people in their tracks, and Ivana admits that there was a time when it would have done just that to her. But not this time. This time was different. This time, she said, "I just felt such a great, great energy deep inside me which I cannot describe, such a great faith in what I really want to do in life that nothing could stop me, no words, no people, nothing else."
Ivana walked out of that office and four months later the conference was born, where "amazing, amazing things happened." Participants talked and listened to each other, because they all cared about the future of their country. There were many tears, much laughter, and great creativity as these young leaders passionately wrote their "Stories from Tomorrow." "This was so new to them," Ivana told us. "No one had ever asked them what they thought. Before NGLS, they believed they had no say in their future—that it was just going to happen to them. Now this generation, so full of hope, ideas, talent, and passion, shared their dreams, learned a lot, and showed each other what they wanted to change."
When the conference was over, many expressed that they now believed in the future of Slovakia—and their part in that future. As one participant said, "I'd forgotten how to dream. You reminded me that I can dream, and how to dream, and that I must dream."
In reflecting on the lessons from her experience, Ivana offers this:
No one will ever believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. First you have to start with yourself. Believe in your dreams, and don't let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. You have got to protect your dreams. You have got to fight for your dreams and just live it because this is what life is for.
Ivana's belief in herself is what started her on the path of fighting for her dreams, of venturing out into unknown territory with nothing more than her inner conviction and the courage to act on it.
We have come full circle. We began this book by talking about the first truth about leadership—that you can make a difference—and now Ivana brings us back to where we started. Leadership begins when you believe in yourself and that you can make a positive difference in the world.
And yet Ivana's leadership experience is also a reminder that others have to believe in you, too, and that gaining followers can be tough and that it comes when you work hard to earn their faith and confidence. The truth is that credibility is the foundation of leadership.
You also see the power of the truth that values drive commitment. You have to be clear about what's important to you if you're going to devote yourself fully to something. Further, Ivana's story illustrates the truth that leaders focus on the future, whether it's the future of a group, organization, nation, or the planet. Big dreams that resonate with others inspire and energize.
The ways in which Ivana reached out to others for advice and consultation shows how true it is that you can't do it alone. While the leader may initially provide the spark of an idea, it takes a group of people—sometimes small and sometimes large—to make something extraordinary happen. And when beginning something brand new, the truth that trust rules is especially relevant. There isn't much else to go on. You just have to show that you trust others. Your trust in them will bring greater trust in you.
All leaders are severely tested, just as Ivana was, and there will always be detractors—those who will tell you it's impossible, that it can't be done, that you're not capable, and that your dream is foolish. The truth is that challenge is the crucible for greatness. Despite the obstacles and despite the naysayers, you just have to go out there and do it. You have to make mistakes, bounce back, and persist. And the truth is also that you either lead by example or you don't lead at all. You have to go first as a leader. You have to be the example that others can follow.
Further, this story makes evident the truth that the best leaders are the best learners. Whether it's from books, direct experience, consulting with others, using social technologies such as Facebook and Skype, or reflecting on the things that you do, learning is the master skill. And none of this would be possible if you don't love what you're doing and the people you're doing it with. The truth is that leadership is an affair of the heart. Love enlarges lives and love energizes leaders. You have to have a big heart to be a great leader.
The ten truths about leadership are apparent in the stories of the men and women who've shared their experiences in this book. We've also seen them in the thousands of other personal best leadership experiences we've heard over that last three decades. They reinforce how true it is that, while the context of leadership changes, the content of leadership endures. There are certain fundamentals that support everything that leaders do, and those essentials will continue to inform what leaders do long into the future.
And there is still one more truth that has to be added.
When we sent the manuscript pages of this book to Melissa Poe Hood so she could review her story for accuracy, she returned her edits and added this note:
I do believe everyone struggles with life purpose; however, a leader is one who steps beyond her own self-doubts and realizes her journey is her responsibility. Whether one is a child or an adult, an individual participates in the world, and she should do so deliberately. Ultimately, the worst thing one can do is to see a problem and think it is someone else's responsibility.
Melissa reminds us all that leadership is not about wishful thinking. It's about determined doing. There are no shortages of problems and opportunities. They are evident at work, at home, in our communities, in our countries, and around the globe. There are no shortages of problems to solve. Leadership is not about telling others that they ought to solve these problems. It's about seeing a problem and accepting personal responsibility for doing something about it. And it's about holding yourself accountable for the actions that you take. The next time you see a problem and say "Why doesn't someone do something about this?" take a look in the mirror and say instead, "I'll be the someone to do something about it."
This doesn't mean that you have to accept responsibility for every problem, and it doesn't mean that you should solve it by yourself. What it does mean is that leaders aren't bystanders in the parade of life. They are active participants who work tirelessly to mobilize others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. Leaders believe that they have an obligation to do something to bring about change and that, with the active engagement of others, they can move things forward. As a leader you are entrusted with the hopes and dreams of others, and you will be called to account for the actions that you take.
Are you familiar with the riddle of the twelve frogs? It goes like this: Twelve frogs are sitting on a log. Twelve frogs decide to jump into the pond. How many frogs remain on the log?
The answer? Twelve. Twelve frogs remain on the log because there is a clear difference between deciding to jump and jumping. If you are going to lead, you not only have to decide, but you also have to make the leap.
In May 2009, University of Connecticut President Michael Hogan addressed graduating seniors at the university's commencement. He was speaking about the difficult economic times and how important it was to face hardship with courage and resourcefulness. He referred to some advice he heard from talk-show satirist and social commentator Stephen Colbert about how important it is to say "yes" when someone offers you a job. Though Colbert's comments were embedded in a humorous piece on how new graduates need to get jobs, any jobs, its core message was spot on for young men and women heading out into the world of work during a major recession. Then Michael added:
So, drawing on Colbert, James Joyce, or Norman Vincent Peale, depending on your reading list, my first word of advice is this: Say 'yes.' And to summarize Colbert: "... say 'yes' as often as you can." Of course, saying 'yes' can lead to mistakes. So don't be afraid to make a mistake, because, as he continues, you can't be young and wise at the same time.
Saying 'yes' begins things. "Saying 'yes' is how things grow." Saying 'yes,' he goes on, leads to new experiences, and new experiences will lead to knowledge and wisdom. "'Yes' is for young people," Colbert concludes. And I agree. An attitude of 'yes' is how you will be able to go forward in these uncertain times.[100]
Michael's advice (and Stephen Colbert's, too) is clearly appropriate for graduates seeking employment, but it's also especially relevant for leaders seeking to make change happen. You have to say yes to begin things. You have to say yes to your beliefs, you have to say yes to big dreams, you have to say yes to difficult challenges, you have to say yes to collaboration, you have to say yes to trust, you have to say yes to learning, you have to say yes to setting the example, and you have to say yes to your heart.
Are you ready to say yes to leadership? When you are ready to say yes, doors will open to entirely new adventures in your life. When you are ready to say yes, people will join you on the quest. When you say yes, you will discover your own truth about leadership.