A mentor is someone who allows you to see the higher part of yourself when sometimes it becomes hidden to your own view.

—Oprah Winfrey

In corporate America, when you can connect a positive, hardworking attitude with the right mentors in your life, success will come. However, in my experience, many people of color do one without the other. For those who have a modicum of success in corporate America, their focus is usually on the degrees (and student loan debt) they have earned and their work ethic. This is their formula for success. After a host of failures and multiple attempts to seek higher employment and promotional opportunities, they become despondent and unsure of themselves. Soon, they retreat into doing the bare minimum just to get by.

The dejection you may feel from being in the same role for years is palpable and frustrating. It feels like you are running in place. New hires join your company with bigger titles and higher salaries, and you end up training them! I see this struggle in many of the people I mentor. This is pervasive in the workplace. However, in my humble opinion, these employees have not pursued the full career equation: hard work + education + networks = advancement (Figure 6.1).

One day, I began to mentor a Black employee named Edwin, who had a job at another health insurance company in its operations department. Edwin had been with the company for over 12 years. He was a Senior Claims Analyst and had become one of the principal experts on his company's claims system. Edwin was known as a hard worker and always took on the toughest assignments. You know, those tasks that no one else dares to do—the type of risky assignment that can be high profile but only leads to agony if it is not completed on time or under budget. Edwin leaned into those assignments and happily accepted the accompanying challenges. He had not pursued advanced education since he became a claims examiner out of high school. Back then, the job paid very well and beat working at a mall. Plus, the company hired him into an entry-level role where he trained for three months. At the time, Edwin thought to himself, who could beat the benefits, decent salary, and free training? Thus, he came onboard at the young age of 24 years old. Through the next 12 years, Edwin had three promotions and more than 15 different bosses. Now, he was 36 years old and had two children to raise and nurture.

Without ever saying it, Edwin felt like he hit a ceiling at work. What can be called a glass ceiling for women today in corporate America can feel like a concrete ceiling for people of color. You cannot even see the top. If you happen to be a person of color, a female, or both, the odds are stacked against you. During Edwin's tenure, he witnessed dozens of newly hired managers who knew way less than he did. Indeed, most of them relied on his expertise. Edwin thought to himself, Why am I being ignored? What do I have to do to get to the next step?

The reality is that Edwin was never eligible for a managerial position because this company, like the vast majority, strictly required a college degree or requisite experience for serious advancement—those tricky, nebulous words used by recruiters in HR departments that allow for abundant subjectivity in the selection process for new or current employees. Edwin sat in his corporate role for years, watching life and new employees with college degrees pass him by.

By the time we met and spoke about his advancement prospects, I told him about the full career equation and his eyes suddenly opened. For the past 12 years, his sole focus had been to be the best Senior Claims Analyst in the company. Unfortunately, this was not enough.

Do you know how that has been rewarded? I would ask him.

The answer: many more years of working as a claims analyst with no prospect of growth or advancement. I tried to share the employer's point of view with Edwin. “They know you're a hard-working employee who is really good at his job. From their desire to be efficient and improve output metrics, keeping you in that position at the lowest possible salary as long as possible is the end goal.”

I tried to give him useful and actionable advice. Hard work is not enough to make it up the corporate ladder, let alone the corporate mountain that exists for people of color. You are receiving your paycheck and increase every year. From the employer's perspective, this transactional relationship is working perfectly.

Then we discussed education. He told me that since he had already been trained on the company system, he did not see what a degree would bring to the table. “How would it actually help?” Edwin also added that many of his previous managers were not as smart as their resumes would imply.

I agreed with him. College degrees do not prove intelligence. They do not even certify managerial capabilities. All that a college degree can present to a hiring manager is empirical evidence of someone's sticking to an arduous task for four or more years. A degree exemplifies perseverance, discipline, and achievement. The mere fact that someone pays tuition to invest in themselves is a clear sign that they have ambition to do more and learn more.

Often, people of color forgo education because they believe they already have the requisite skills that a degree will not enhance. Or they do not believe that the benefits of the degree will outweigh the potential for student debt. The most understated benefit of a degree, however, is the assurance of transferable skills. An academic degree is usually documented evidence that you can be a versatile player in the company and work on a variety of different projects supporting numerous departments.

While this may also be true if you're an employee without such a degree, you now place yourself at the mercy of the recruiter and hiring manager to value your experience against someone else's experience and education. Personally, I never wanted education to be a factor in my advancement. To take that off the table, I pursued bachelor's, master's, and doctoral degrees. I am not suggesting that everyone do this in order to advance their careers, but it is imperative to be aware of the abundant opportunities that present themselves with undergraduate and advanced degrees. And the probability you will never obtain a higher role in the company without one.

Edwin shot back that he knows vice presidents who lack college degrees. “Why does it matter?” Again, I agreed with him. This brought us to the third variable of the equation: networks. I asked him a slew of questions. How well do you know your manager? How many children does she or he have? Where did they grow up? What is their alma mater? Their favorite sports team? Then I asked how well he knew his manager's boss, posing similar questions. Was he a member of any groups or associations focused on managed care, claims, and/or professional development?

As Edwin and I spoke, he realized that because he prioritized hard work over everything else, he did not know his leadership team well. Of course, he knew some information about them, the type of details that are exchanged by co-workers during shared pleasantries in meetings. But all of his deeper relationships in the company were with other people of color—who were at the same level that he was in the organization, or lower.

There is a book by Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum entitled Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? In it, she describes that undeniable bond, sense of belonging, and solace that schoolchildren of color feel sitting next to one another. If they happen to attend a school where they are underrepresented, one way to affirm their identity is by sitting together. Well, we are creatures of habit. Our need to congregate with those similar to us surely occurs in the workplace as well.

Edwin spent his time forging really good, long-lasting relationships with his Black and Brown peers, none of whom could accelerate his career aspirations or advancement. Most organizations in America see diversity decrease the higher you move up. Employees of color have to get out of this comfort zone and learn to build networks with people who do not look like themselves. That is why building broadly diverse professional networks is so vital to your growth and advancement. Networks are interconnected groups of people who exchange information and ideas through professional relationships. Networks help you find out about positions in the company before they are ever posted online. Having connections to others who are in a position of power to help you is paramount to ascending the corporate mountain. Edwin needed to realize that his first managerial role would come about by a hiring manager taking a chance on him. It is nearly impossible to build such a level of trust with a hiring manager during the interview process. If you are not networking and building key relationships within the company, you are greatly limiting your chances of success.

Edwin also needed his own Sempai. Indeed, all of us marginalized employees in corporate America need as many mentors as we can muster. You need someone who can vouch for you, praise and promote you in the rooms you have yet to access. Having a great mentor is absolutely paramount for your professional and personal success.

Edwin seemed unaware about the importance of networks and mentorship, and recognized that his White peers had an easier time forging relationships with upper-level management than he did. Whether this notion is true is not debatable. It is a fact. Dr. Tatum would argue that it is also neurological science. Thus, once we are presented with this truth, it is our mission to strategize and overcome these barriers.

In my experience, employees of color have to operate at a higher level for a longer period of time before they become eligible for promotion. This is how the corporate world works. I have fired over 100 people in my 18-year career, but I have also promoted well over 200 people in that same period. Those I promoted were employees who grew out of their roles. They acted like managers even though they were still associates. They transformed their language from the individual “I” to the collective “we.” They focused on how to advance the corporate goals and objectives rather than putting themselves first. If you can put your company first, your team second, and yourself last, you will be in the best position to climb the corporate mountain.

Mentors come in all shapes and sizes, but make no mistake, they can be an essential ingredient in your career success. If they are missing from your current career journey, it is time for you to pursue some mentors in your life. What are Mentors? They are trusted advisors who guide you through your life and career.

When Odysseus, the legendary king of Ithaca in Homer's epic Greek poem The Odyssey, left for the Trojan War, there was only one person he felt was principled and reliable enough to watch over his son, Telemachus, while he was away. That person was an older man by the name of Mentor. Mentor took Telemachus under his wing and imparted his wisdom as he stood in for Odysseus during his absence.

Similarly, when I was unsure of what to do with my first offer letter, I went to the person I trusted the most: my mentor, Greg. I knew he would only have my best interests at heart. It is not easy to find this type of relationship in a stranger. Mentors should be free from bias. I personally believe that your boss cannot adequately be your nonbiased mentor. After all, you may want to complain about your boss to your mentor. You also want to hear feedback from your mentor about how to approach your boss. A mentor is a guide, with more knowledge than you, who selflessly provides you with the feedback you need to grow. Sometimes that advice might be tough to hear. My mentors gave me the courage to make a million mistakes and the wisdom to not make the same mistake a million times. Finding a great mentor is hard; being a great mentee is even harder. You must select mentors wisely and come prepared to work.

LESSON 6.1: FIND THE RIGHT MENTOR

A well-managed mentoring relationship can transform your career. However, the hardest part of the process is finding the right mentor.

Here are few steps to take to finding the right mentor.

1. Identify the problem. Before thinking about who you should select as a mentor, first identify the problem or issue you are trying to solve. For example, if you are an introvert seeking to learn ways to improve your public speaking and networking skills, then the type of mentor you select will be different than if you are thinking about changing industries. Far too often, mentees select mentors based on their stature in the company or their public appeal on social media rather than finding that mentor who has the skill sets, experiences, and knowledge that will help mentees achieve their goals.
2. Cast a wide net. A common misconception about mentors is that they have to be a C-Suite executive or a senior leader in your industry. However, the best mentoring relationships sometimes come from colleagues who are just a few steps ahead of you in their own career. Why? It is likely that their advice will resonate with you more and have more of a practical application. Second, the best mentors are usually someone you gravitate toward because of their energy or the way they move through the world. Most of my mentors inspire me. Do not limit yourself by age, gender, race, or industry. Many of the mentors in my career were older White men with whom I had little in common. While these relationships were awkward at first, they grew over time to where our relationships have become so close that our bonds are unbreakable.
3. Build a rapport. It is important to build a professional relationship with someone be-fore you ask them to become a mentor. Far too often, I receive messages from strangers on LinkedIn asking me to mentor them. While I am flattered at the requests, it tells me that they are still in the incubation phase of forming their networks. It is okay to reach out to professionals on LinkedIn seeking professional growth op-portunities, but the first question should not be about mentorship. Build a rapport with your potential mentor first. Get to know a little bit about them with initial emails or phone calls. Based on these initial conversations, you may find that the person is not ideal for mentorship. A good starting point is consistent dialogue for roughly three to six months.
4. Make the ask. You would not believe the number of employees of color I have spoken to throughout the years who are petrified about asking someone to be their mentor. The mentorship will never formalize between you and the other person until you are both on the same page about the relationship you want to build. Since you have built a rapport with this person for the past three to six months, making the ask should be a bit easier. By that time, you'll know if the mentorship will be fruitful. Assess how often they respond to your emails or outreaches. How rich and inclusive are your conversations with them? Have you built up a rapport enough to where there is friendly banter and some vulnerability between the two of you? Soon, you'll have a sense of whether or not the relationship will work well. If you think it will, make the ask!

LESSON 6.2: BECOMING A MENTEE TAKES TIME

Now that you've successfully formalized a relationship with someone and officially have a mentor, what comes next?

While many leadership books focus on the importance of obtaining a mentor, few explain what is required to be a great mentee. There are roles and responsibilities of a mentee that will help to foster a strong and long-lasting relationship with your mentor. Being a proper mentee takes talent and tenacity. It also takes TIME:

TIME

• Trust
• Intentionality
• Milestones
• Evaluation

Here are the keys to success for being a great mentee:

• Trust: Above all, as a mentee you must foster trust. That means being accountable, dependable, and respectful of your mentor's time. Simple things like showing up on time for meetings instills trust and mutual respect with your mentor. A mentee must also ensure that their discussions remain private and confidential. As you build a rapport with your mentor, they may begin to share more with you. Trust between the two of you is cardinal. It can take years to build trust, but you can lose it in seconds if you are not careful.
• Intentionality: Work must be done to prepare for mentorship meetings. A one-hour mentorship meeting should take at least one hour of preparation time. Mentees must set the framework and scope for the mentor relationship. You must define in advance what your success and goals will look like and the duration of the mentoring relationship. You should also set the agenda for each mentor meeting and send it well in advance so the mentor can properly prepare. Remember, this special relationship is a two-way street. Don't forget to offer to help your mentor with any of their activities. Also, make sure to be open to candid feedback from the mentor to nourish this vital relationship. I once had a mentee ask me why we had not spoken in so long. My response was short and to the point: “Because you have not arranged any time.” Give your mentoring relationship the time and respect it deserves. Have a reason for every interaction and make judicious use of your mentor's time.
• Milestones: Mentorships can be time-bound or bound by milestones. Set time-bound milestones with your mentor and make sure you are consistently focused on key issues or projects. For example, when I first became a vice president with more than 400 people reporting into my division, my mentor and I focused on my first 100 days. All of our conversations over the next three months were focused on coaching and advice around that topic. We scheduled regular meetings, but since we had built a rapport through the years, I could also text or call him when urgent issues arose. We even spoke on weekends as I prepared for significant Monday meetings with my executive leadership team. Milestones keep the relationship on track and allow you to celebrate your wins or analyze your failures.
• Evaluation: After some time with your mentor, it never hurts to set up an agenda item on evaluating your mentor/mentee relationship as a way to ensure that you are both getting the same value out of the relationship. It is also a way to determine whether both parties still have the bandwidth and/or desire to continue. Great mentorships can last a lifetime. However, not every mentoring relationship will last forever. Provide your mentor an opportunity to give you feedback on the relationship. Like any relationship, these relationships can wax and wane with changes in life. However, one thing is for certain, always keep in contact with your closest mentors. Send a holiday card to keep them updated on your life and your career. Wish them happy birthday. Check in on them with no other agenda item but to say hello and hear how they are doing. Maintain and nourish these relationships. The greatest honor someone can bestow upon you is the willingness to take a stake in your personal and professional success. Often, your closest mentors magically transform into your closest friends.