Index

 

abandonment, 163

Ackerman, N., 86, 100

adoption, 19–20

AFC. See alternate forms of conception affinity ties, 116, 128, 131–133

AIDS epidemic, 122

Alexander, R., 47, 67

alternate forms of conception (AFC), 13

American Academy of Pediatrics, 20, 26

analytic neutrality, 4

Armelini, M., 23, 26

Aron, L., 31, 35, 41, 43

Associated Press, 115, 139

attachment, 25, 72

Atwood, G., 46, 69

autonomy, 72

 

Bacai, H., 53, 68

Backman, S., 69

Bar and Bat Mitzvah ceremonies, 14–15

Bassin, D., 23, 23n, 26, 35, 43

Beebe, B., 17, 26

Beemayne, B., 26, 27

behavior, gender and, 39

Benjamin, J., 16–17, 27, 31, 34–35, 40, 43, 46, 68, 141, 149, 154

biological parents, 18

birthing, bonding and, 21–22

body, role of, 32

Boston Marriage, 14

Bowlby, J., 17, 27

boy toys, 172

Brandchaft, B., 46, 69

breadwinner, in gay couples, 170

breasts, as metaphor, 153

Brehony, K. A., 147, 156

Brinich, P., 20, 27

Bromberg, P. M, 26, 27, 35, 43

Brown, L. S., 45, 68, 146, 154

Buell, C. 16, 27

Buloff, B., 146, 154

Burch, B., 141–142, 154

Burlingham, D., 14

Butler, J., 5, 10, 18, 24, 27, 41, 43, 104–105, 111, 112

 

Cabaj, R. P., 45, 68

California Family Code, 125

Chodorow, N. J., 34, 43, 141, 154

Clarke, A. E., 116, 129, 139

clitoral play, 146

Coates, S. W., 32, 43

Cole, G., 89, 100

coming out, 171

community, family formation and, 124

competition, 8

between moms, 22

in parental role, 108

conception, fantasies of, 19–20

Cooper, S. H., 150, 154

co-parenting, 120

countertransference, 153–154

coupled relationships, 47

couplehood, 78

couples, 66

perspective of, 46

couples therapy

analytic goals, 86–87

benefit, 73–74

complexity, 66

intersubjective approaches, 46–47

process description, 57

repetition, 95

resolution, 67

systems goals, 86–87

theoretical survival kit, 86–87

therapist role, 71

treatment depth, 57

Crespi, L., 19, 27, 73, 83, 89, 100, 100, 107, 112, 141, 154

cultural movements, 2

custody, known-donor and, 126

 

Dattilio, F. M., 69

Davies, D., 69, 70

Davies, J. M., 144, 150, 154, 154–155

Davis, S. N., 44

deconstructivist theorists, 36–37

D'Ereole, A., 5, 10, 71, 73, 83, 84, 104, 112, 143, 155

defensiveness, 63

de Marneffe, D., 33, 43

deprivation histories, 169–170

Deutsch, H., 103, 112

Deutsch, L., 143, 155

difference

feelings of, 73

shame and, 83

Dirnen, M, 27, 31, 32, 43, 104, 112, 142, 149, 155

Dinnerstein, D., 105, 108, 110, 112

disillusionment phase, 86, 88

distrust, 60

Dodson, B. Self-Loving, 147, 155

Domenici, T., 42, 43, 71, 84, 101, 104, 112

donors. See sperm banks; sperm donors

Drescher, J., 5, 10, 71, 72, 84, 85, 89, 101, 104, 112

Duberman, M., 3–4, 10

 

economic issues, 158

educational videos, 147

Ehrensaft, D., 19, 27

Eissler, K., 4, 10

Eliason, M., 26, 27

Elise, D., 149, 155

Epstein, L., 87, 101

eroticism

couple context, 145–147

dreams, 143

female zones, 146

play and passion, 147–148

potential safe spaces, 145

therapist role, 150–151

transferences, 152–153

 

Faderman, L., 14, 27

family

demographics, 15–16

heterosexual terms, 111

legitimacy, race, ethnicity and, 133–134

narratives, parental relations and, 26

origin, reconstructing, 77–78

post-modern, 13

Fast, I., 34, 35, 43

Feiner, A. H., 87, 101

female identifications, 110

female sexuality, 104

Fertility Inc., 130

financial issues

interdependency, 163–164

as mask, 172–173

misunderstandings, 157

Fisher, S. K., 45, 68

Fishman, J. R., 116, 139

Fogel, G. I., 34, 43

Fonagy, P., 35, 43

Forstein, M., 45, 68

Fosket, J. R., 116, 139

Freedman, E., 45, 68

Freud, A., 14, 155

Freud, S., 2–3, 10, 18, 20, 27, 31, 95, 101, 146, 203

Frink, H., 2

Frommer, M. S., 100, 101

Fujimura, J. H., 129, 139

 

Gair, S. R., 146, 155

gay and lesbian couples, 71–73

gender. See also same-sex couples

construction, 33

false truth of, 6

functions, 32, 41–42

as heterosexual paradigm, 105

inadequacy, 109

lines, splitting along, 40

organization or symbolization, 39

as performance, 38–39

purposes, 42

relations, power and, 41

roles, 24, 160

skewing, 160–161

study areas needed, 42

subjective experience of, 33

gender development

contemporary theories, 34

in lesbian families, 31, 37–41

gender identity, 35

multiplicity, 38

self identity and, 36–37

genetic inheritance, 131

genital sexuality, 148

Gergen, S. N., 44

Gerson, M. J., 46, 68, 73, 84

Glassgold, J. M, 104, 112, 141, 144, 155

Glazer, D. F., 24, 28, 71, 84, 96, 101, 104, 112

Goldberg, A., 69

Goldner, V., 13, 28, 31, 36, 41, 43, 104, 112

Gould, E., 71, 84, 104, 112, 141, 155

Gray, D., 45, 68

 

Haaland, R., 139

Harding, J., 5, 10

Harris, A., 31, 32, 44, 108, 122, 149, 155

Herek, G., 24, 28

heterosexist assumption, 5

heterosexual model of mothers, 106

heterosexual object and identification, 107

homoerotic desire, 144

homophobia, 7–8, 85

camouflaged, 86

internalized, 21, 24, 89

social stigma and, 100

homosexuality

recognition of parents', 111

religious beliefs and, 168

honeymoon phase, 86, 88

Hoffman, I., 5, 10, 84

Horney, K., 34, 44

Human Genome Project, 136

 

Iasenza, S., 104, 112, 141, 142, 145, 155, 156

identification, function and, 40

identity

formation process, 39–40

politics, 135

U.S. cultural narrative, 135–136

identity-release donor, 116

imagination, 6–7

interactional representations, 41

internalized object relations, 16–17

interpersonal relations

historical awareness of difficulties, 56

intersubjective nature of, 46

intimacy

psychoanalytic issue, 2–4

therapeutic circle, 79

intrapsychic conflicts, 97

Isensee, R., 45, 68

 

Jetter, A., 115, 139

Johnson, V. E., 146, 156

Judeo-Christian ethics, culture and, 104

 

Kaplan, H. S., 146, 150, 156

Kendell, K., 121, 139

Kiersky, S., 54, 71, 84, 104, 112, 141, 143, 144, 145, 155, 156

Klinger, R. L., 45, 68

Kohut, H., 87, 101

Kolata, G., 130, 139

Kramer, P., 2, 10

Kubie, L., 31

 

Laing, R. D., 41, 44

Laplanche, J., 4

Layton, L. 31, 36, 42, 44

legal risks, donors and, 126–128

Lemer, H. E., 33, 44

Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook, The, (Martin), 19n

lesbians

bed death, 142

erotics, 143

psychoanalytic sex stories, 142–143

reproduction, 116

sexuality writings, 142

sexual problems of couples, 145

Lesser, R. C, 42, 71, 83, 84, 101, 104, 112, 141, 156

Lester, E., 105, 113

Lewis, H. B., 73, 84

Lieberman, A., 158, 173

Lindner, V., 158

Liss-Levinson, N., 158, 173

Loewald, H., 26, 28

Loulan, J., 147, 156

love, money and, 161–163

 

MacDonald, B. J., 46, 68

Magee, M., 71, 84, 104, 112, 141, 156

Marno, L., 116, 139, 140

Marcus, E., 160, 173

Margolis, B., 87, 92, 101

Martin, A., 19n, 28, 141, 156

masculine identification

tomboy, 149

penetration and, 148–149

Masters, W. H., 146, 156

masturbation video, 147

maternal role, 105

McKenna, W., 21

McMahon, M., 47, 68

Mellan, O., 158, 173

Mendell, D., 108, 112

Merkin, D., 157, 173

Miller, D., 71, 84, 104, 112, 141, 155

Mitchell, S., 28

mirroring, need for, 97

modern analytic theory, 87

“moneyblindness,” 158

money issues, 158, 170–172

autonomy and, 170–172

consensus regarding, 158–159

gender roles and, 159

love and, 161–163

same-sex couples and, 159–161

secrecy and, 9

sex and, 157

symbolic meanings, 158–159

as talisman against fear, 161–163

Moore, L. J., 129, 140

Morrison, A., 73, 84

motherhood

clinical examples, 106–111

deconstruction of, 17

impetus to, 103

regressive feelings and, 108

mother-infant dyad, 23

mothers

de-identification with, 22–23

postmodern view of, 104

“real,” 21–25

role insecurities, 25

 

National Center for Lesbian Rights, 124

Neal, C., 69, 70

negative narcissistic transference, 87

Nestle, J., 141

normality theme, 95–96

Notman, M. T., 105, 113

nursing, bonds and, 21–22

 

O'Connor, N., 71, 84, 104, 113, 141, 156

oedipal dynamics, 18

oedipal triangle, 6, 18–21

Ogden, T., 89, 101

Orange, D., 46, 69

Osterman, M., 146, 154

Ovesey, L., 34, 44

 

parenting

affirmation, 62

counterbalancing experience, 63–64

disagreements, 60

donor involvement, 127

relations, family narratives and, 26

rights, 125

roles, 23–24, 59

terms, 17–18

paternity, 126

Patterson, C., 20, 28

penetrability, 148–149

Person, E., 34, 44

Peters, U. H., 14, 28

Phillips, A., 79, 84

Pontalis, J. B., 4

postmodern analysts, 104

postmodern culture, 16

PQP. See Prospective Queer Parents

problem solving, 53

projective identification, 88–89

Prospective Queer Parents (PQP), 121, 122

psychoanalytic narratives, 5

psychoanalytic neutrality, 3–4

psychoanalytic theory, 40

psychosexual development, 16

 

realistic integration phase, 86, 88

reflective self-awareness, 57

Reis, B. E., 69

relational frame, 153–154

relational negotiation, 35

religion, homosexuality and, 168

Rich, A., 10

Ringstrom, P. A., 46, 69

role expectations, 87–88

interpersonal, 97

roommate metaphor, 62

Rose, J., 13, 28

Rothblum, E. D., 147, 156

Ryan, J., 71, 84, 104, 113, 141, 156

 

Saffron, L., 122, 140

same-sex couples

issues, 45

money and, 159–161

roles in, 24, 160

socially defined expectations and, 160

Sander, F. J., 46, 69

Sandier, A., 87, 101

Sandler, J., 87, 101

Scharff, D., 86, 101

Scharff, J., 86, 101

Schmidt, M., 129, 140

Schmitt, E., 13, 28

Schoenberg, E., 5, 10, 71, 83, 84, 141, 156

Schwartz, A., 17, 18, 23, 28, 104, 113, 141, 156

self psychology, 86–87

selfobject functioning, 87

separateness, 79

sex and gender, 31–32

sex therapy, 150–151

sex-affirmative parental role, 150

sexual abuse trauma, 86

sexual activity goal, 147

sexual longings, same-sex, 144

sexually transmitted diseases, 122

shadow families, and adopted children, 20

shame, 7, 83

Shim, J., 116, 139

Siegel, J. P., 70

Simon, G., 46, 69

Singer, A., 46, 69

Solomon, M. F., 70

sperm banks, 115. See also donors; sperm donors

marketing donor selection, 116, 129–130

photo-matching services, 132

relatedness with, 128–130

semen screening, 117

written contracts, 124

sperm donors

biological connection, 119

catalogs, 129

choice of, 8–9

constructing affinities with, 130–138

decisions regarding, 117–118

emotional problems, 126

finding, 118

genetic lineage, 132–133

health history, 136

idea of, 19

identity-release, 116, 118–125, 135

legal and emotional issues, 125–128

lesbian experience with, 129

negotiations, 123–124

parental rights and, 121

personal networks, 122–123

personality traits, 137

profiles, affinity and, 138

selecting, 115–116, 131–132

social subjectivities, 131–132

types, 116

unknown, 125–128

Spotnitz, H., 87, 95, 101

spousal relationship

lived experience, 68

as sole provider of companionship, 54

stepparent, 63

Stern, D., 16, 17, 28, 29, 46, 69

Stierlin, H., 86, 101

Stoller, R. J., 34, 44

Stolorow, R., 46, 69

subjectivity

experience, 62

gender and, 33, 41

Sweetnam, A., 150, 156

 

Tan, Amy, The Joy Luck Club, 161, 173

Target, M., 35

therapists

body use, 151–153

purpose, 72

Thorne, B., 44

Tiefer, L., 147, 156

tomboy identification, 149

tools, therapeutic, 60–61

transferences, 86, 150–151

triangulation, 18

Trop, J. L., 46, 69

 

vaginal orgasm, 146

vaginal penetration, 148

validation, 97

Van Der Heide, N. P., 47, 67

verbal abuse, 61–62

 

Walsh, F., 45, 70

Weston, K., 17n, 29, 139, 140

Wheeler, G., 69

Winnicott, D. W., 5, 145, 156