CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
SONG FORMS:
(IM)POTENT PACKAGES II
Bored? Try a little variety. That was the principle behind chapter twenty-two, where we looked at the verse / verse / chorus / verse / verse / chorus form.
Here, I want to look at another common form — one that also risks boredom: verse / chorus / verse / chorus / verse / chorus. Here's a sample that we'll title “Love Her or Leave Her to Me”:
You're living with a woman you ain't true to
Playin' round but keep her hanging on
If you don't want her, let me have her
You won't believe how fast I'll grab her
You'll hardly even notice that she's gone
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
You're out all night while she's alone without you
Just for fun she calls me on the phone
She comes to me, I play the friend
I know she'll love me in the end
As long as you keep leaving her alone
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
Well I guess some men got no appreciation
They never see the finer things in life
When they leave the best behind 'em
Someone else is bound to find 'em
Won't be long she's someone else's wife
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
Not a bad lyric. It chugs along nicely for two verse / chorus systems, developing its ideas with light, cute structure. The third system, however, seems to fall a little flat, not so much for what it says, but because we've seen its structure twice before. There's nothing wrong with the form — the form just doesn't help add interest. Let's look at some options to use instead of this third verse / chorus system.
Option 1
The most obvious boredom quencher is to insert a contrasting section — a bridge — between the second and third system. As usual, the contrast should be significant. The structure of the bridge should be different from the verse and chorus structures, including a different rhyme scheme, a different number of lines, and different line lengths. It should also say something different.
When you're writing a bridge, start by looking at what you've already said, then look for a missing piece. In this case, we know the speaker wants the wife, and that the husband is fooling around. We know the wife calls the speaker and that the speaker has plans. But we don't know what makes her so desirable. This might be an interesting angle, especially since the third verse starts:
Well, I guess some men got no appreciation
They never see the finer things in life …
EXERCISE 49
A bridge focusing on her qualities would lead smoothly into the third verse. Start by making a list of her qualities — things she is, things she does. Draw the list from your own experiences. Do a little object writing. For example:
Kicking through the fallen leaves, gold-brown and red. Cheeks flushed and soft, glowing with the afternoon sunlight. You don't speak, I don't dare speak; our shoulders touching, lingering a little, skin electric, breath coming a little faster. You step slowly, patiently, listening to the leaves swirling and dancing in colors as we move together.
Your object writing will create a mood and character for you to respond to. Then try a few bridges. Be sure your bridge is a contrasting section. Keep it short and effective.
Simply inserting a bridge is always an option when you need a boredom breaker. The risk here, though, is that the lyric may get (or seem) a little long because it returns to a verse again before the chorus.
Option 2
Another option is to create a verse / chorus form that stops with two verse / chorus systems, creates a bridge as a contrasting system, then moves to a chorus: verse / chorus / verse / chorus / bridge / chorus.
Again, be careful. A bridge isn't a verse — it doesn't do the same job or use the same structure. It is a contrasting section. Verses usually develop plot. A chorus usually steps away from, comments on, or summarizes the verses. In our lyric, the verses develop the situation, the chorus gives a warning. A bridge will have to take a different angle.
You're living with a woman you ain't true to
Playin' round but keep her hanging on
If you don't want her, let me have her
You won't believe how fast I'll grab her
You'll hardly even notice that she's gone
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
You're out all night while she's alone without you
Just for fun she calls me on the phone
She comes to me, I play the friend
I know she'll love me in the end
As long as you keep leaving her alone
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
Leave the finest things behind, an'
Someone else is bound to find 'em
Love her or leave her to me
Keep her or let her go free
Don't go two-timing her
'Less you're resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
EXERCISE 50
Try substituting the bridge you wrote for the one I wrote. Do you like how it works?
Option 3
If you can't translate your third verse into a bridge — say that you really need that third idea as a verse — try a verse form that thrives on three-idea development: the AABA verse / refrain form.
This song form has been around a long time, mostly because it works so well. Let's try it for our three-verse lyric, using the title as a refrain:
You're living with a woman you ain't true to
You play around, she sits home faithfully
If you don't want her let me have her
Wait and see how fast I grab her
Love her or leave her to me
While you're out she gets a little lonesome
What to do, she's got her evenings free
She calls me up, I play the friend
I know she'll love me in the end
Love her or leave her to me
Boy just keep your blinders on
You'll never notice when she's gone
I'm glad some men got no appreciation
The finest things are just too hard to see
You just keep two-timing her
Soon you'll be resigning her
Love her or leave her to me
An AABA song form is effective because it creates a strong sense of resolution when it moves back to the third verse. The first two verses define “home base,” then the bridge takes you away from home — away from the familiar structure. When you come back to the third verse, you come back home to familiar territory. It's a real homecoming, seeing the old neighborhood again after a long trip. The tension created by moving away has been resolved.
An AABA's last system is actually bridge / verse, providing a nice contrast to the opening verses, as well as sponsoring the homecoming parade.
The temptation to write verse / chorus / verse / chorus / verse / chorus is sometimes strong. Resist it. Look instead for forms that present your ideas in more potent packages.