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Book Description

“Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend."
—Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors

Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight.

To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own.

Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Contents
  6. Foreword
  7. Introduction: What Is Dangerous Love?
  8. Chapter 1. Dangerous Love in the Desert
  9. Chapter 2. Practicing Dangerous Love
  10. Chapter 3. Seeing Conflict as Smog
  11. Chapter 4. Overcoming Our Fear of Conflict
  12. Chapter 5. How a Smog Thinker Fights Conflict
  13. Chapter 6. How a Cocoon Thinker Transforms Conflict
  14. Chapter 7. The Chasm of Separation and Self-Deception
  15. Chapter 8. Bridging the Gap between Fear and Love
  16. Chapter 9. Mistakes Were Made
  17. Chapter 10. But Not by Me
  18. Chapter 11. Escalating Conflict
  19. Chapter 12. What War Is Good For
  20. Chapter 13. Waiting for Them to Turn
  21. Chapter 14. Turning First
  22. Chapter 15. The Kumbaya Fallacy
  23. Chapter 16. Inviting Them to Turn
  24. Chapter 17. Truth, Mercy, and Justice
  25. Chapter 18. Keeping the Peace
  26. Chapter 19. The Long-Short Way
  27. Chapter 20. Small and Simple Things
  28. Chapter 21. Troubleshooting Dangerous Love
  29. Chapter 22. Choosing Love over Fear
  30. Notes
  31. List of Stories
  32. Acknowledgments
  33. Index
  34. Additional Resources
  35. About the Author
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