You’ve Been Laid Off: Now, Make a Plan!

Martha I. Finney

Common wisdom holds that when we suffer the death of a loved one, we shouldn’t make any major life changes for six months. And common wisdom is that unexpectedly losing your job in a layoff is like suffering the death of a loved one. So it follows that when you lose your job, you shouldn’t make any major life changes—like start a new job—for six months. Hmm, the logical progression falls apart right about there, doesn’t it?

Unless you relish the notion of being truly and officially self-employed, languishing between jobs for six full months is intolerable and inadvisable. But the opposite extreme, leaping into the first thing that comes along, isn’t such a great idea either. What would be motivating you there? Security? We already know about the illusion of the workaday world of job security now. So why leap into the fire from the frying pan just because you are pulled to the familiarity of the heat?

Bill Berman, Ph.D., Stamford, Connecticut–based corporate psychologist, says you must have a plan. And tapping away on your laptop while you’re stretched out on the sofa in your PJs doesn’t qualify as a plan. Neither does joyfully leaping into the arms of the first job offer that’s extended to you. Borrowing from the disciplines of the corporate world (really, they do some things right), Berman suggests that you engage in what he calls personal strategic planning, to keep you on track, focused, and going after exactly what you want—and strong enough to say “no” to the wrong offers. This approach, he says, will also help keep peace in the house as you and your spouse struggle valiantly to not take your anxieties out on each other.

Take some time to stop. Figure out where you stand, how much time you have to explore possibilities, what you love, and where you really want to go next. “The worst thing you can do when you get laid off is run right out and grab whatever you can,” he says. “Step back and think about what you want to do, what you loved about the work you were doing before, and how it matches with what you want to be doing one year, three years, five years from now.”

You’ve probably had these questions in your mind at different times in your life. But if you’ve been on the all-absorbing fast track in recent years, you might have been reluctant to refresh that inquiry in your mind (even if you did have the time to think it over): “People should absolutely look at this time in their lives as an opportunity. When they’re working, they try not to ask themselves, ‘Is this where I want to be?’ That’s a frightening question, especially when your life, obligations, plans, and routines are built around your job. What happens if the answer is no?

“This is actually a good time to think about what you love, who you want to be, where you want to be. Is this an opportunity to be doing something different, or is this an opportunity for you to continue what you’ve been doing?”

Build your network list and start using it. We’ll be going more deeply into networking in following chapters. But for now, it’s time to start warming up to the concept of networking, which to my mind has always had the smack of soulless, overly upbeat business card swaps at Chamber of Commerce mixers. Still, networking must be done. “You are much more likely to find jobs through your relationships than through newspapers and websites,” he says.

“You need to think broadly about who you know,” says Berman. “Think back to the people you worked with 5, 10, 15 years ago, and don’t email them. There’s no substitute for a phone call.”

Berman says to be up front about telling people you’re looking for a job. But don’t limit your networking just to people you think might be able to directly help you land your next job. That kind of has the feeling of a booty call, doesn’t it? Be genuinely interested in what’s going on with the people you’re talking to. Listen to what their needs are and who they are looking for in their organizations. It might not be a match for you, but you might know of just the right former coworker who was also laid off who would be a great match.

Get dressed, damn it! Treat your job search project as you would a regular full-time job. Get out of the jammies and put on something you would wear to work at your old job (assuming, of course, that you weren’t fired for slovenliness). Shave, if you are a man. Come to think of it, shave, even if you are a woman. Now is not the time to explore your quirky bohemian side, unless that’s the direction you’ve decided to go to for your next life phase.

When you wear the uniform of your role, you stay in touch with that side of who you are. No one I can think of is in the market to hire Mr. Scratchy Pajama Bottoms. (People can tell what you’re wearing—or not—by the way you sound on the phone.)

Set regular working hours that match a conventional workday. Any self-employed person will tell you that being captain of one’s own hours is a joy and a curse. You have the luxury of not working when everyone else is. But then, you’ll probably find yourself working when everyone else is playing. “If you work 9 to 5 on your job hunting assignment, then absolutely you can take the weekends off,” says Berman. “The reason why people work on weekends and at night on looking for a new job is because they screwed around all day.”

Establish a structure against which you’ll achieve and measure your goals. Identify three to four core ways you’ll approach your job search. How many tasks will you do each day, and what, specifically, are they? How many calls are you going to make? How many names will you look up? How many trips to the refrigerator will you take without actually opening the door?

“If you set a goal, you’re going to be able to work toward that goal,” says Berman. “Set very specific goals, make them things you think you can actually do, and then make them nonnegotiable.”

Protect your emotional and physical health. You already know this stuff. Now you can’t use a busy work schedule to be your excuse for not eating healthily or exercising the way you should. Fresh fruits and vegetables—preferably shoved through a juicer (a good way to spend your severance check, in my personal opinion)—vitamin supplements; try to stay away from sugar and stress hormone–inducing substances (which includes coffee, by the way).

Negate your negative self-talk. Berman says that negative self-talk usually comes in three major self-questioning messages: Can I do it? Am I likely to do it? If I do it, will it lead to an impact? “These are questions that are always going on in the back of your consciousness; you are barely aware that they’re there,” says Berman. “And they have a ring of truth to them that they would never have if you say them aloud. So bring them forward from the back of your mind and say them. Then ask yourself (out loud, of course), is that true? Don’t worry that someone will hear you. No one’s at home; you’re alone. Who’s going to care?

Dismiss the derailers. Berman says that negative self-talk is only one of the influences that could derail your job search plan. That resurgence of panic that you have to have a job now! is a derailer. Mean-spirited friends and family who undermine your confidence with carefully placed cherry bombs (just big enough to make a mess, not big enough to cause reportable damage); well-meaning friends and family members who really, truly are concerned—especially about the passage of time; your own ego that is telling you that if you were truly a good provider, you’d have a job by now. That sort of thing. You might not be able to see them coming, but at least you can spot them for what they are. And shrug them off. Some people mean well; some people are just, well, mean. Either way, that’s not your focus right now.

Partner up with your partner. If you’re married or in a significant relationship, bring your partner into the plan. Two heads are better than one, of course. And, equally important, you will keep things calm at home. “Typically where fights come from during this time is that one partner is really feeling, ‘I don’t know what you’re doing, and I want to be a part of it,’” says Berman. “Use your spouse as a partner. Where you can get into trouble is where you say, ‘Leave me alone; I can do this myself. I don’t want your input.’”

“Have a plan.” That seems so self-evident, doesn’t it? Well, evidently, it’s not. It’s sort of like dieting and exercise. Everyone knows how important they are. But if we all did what we knew was best, there would be no obesity epidemic. So. Really. Have a plan. And then stick to it. Think of it this way: At the very least you’ll get weekends off!

The best thing you can do:

Create a clear plan of what you’re going to do, when you’re going to do it, and how you’re going to do it.

The worst thing you can do:

Take the first job you are offered because you are offered the job.

The first thing you should do:

Take a deep breath, step back, and view this as a problem to be solved by your team, which includes your family, friends, and network.