How We Recharge: Battery Pack or Solar Panel

Recharging does not happen the same way for everyone, though, and it is important to note that your natural personality and wiring will influence how you need to recharge. Steve Cockram is the master at explaining how to recharge. He states that “introverts recharge internally, like a battery pack. They need to plug into an energy source directly and recharge on their own from within. Extroverts, on the other hand, are like solar panels: their recharge happens from external power sources, like ideas or people or experiences.”

Steve goes on to share some examples of typical battery pack–type recharge sources for introverts:

• Sleeping—introverts usually need a bit more sleep than extroverts
• Reading—like novels or biographies
• Exercise—long runs or walks alone
• Devotions—introverts are normally more disciplined with their personal time
• Meditation—this normally becomes a place for peace
• Time to yourself to pursue individual hobbies, like art, gardening, cooking, woodworking, and so on

And here are some typical solar powered–type recharges for extroverts:

• Time with a mentor—extroverts need to talk out loud to hear their ideas with someone they trust
• Ideas—some extroverts are enamored with ideas, which can bring life to them
• 2nd gear time—extroverts tend to get recharged with people, especially those they care for a great deal
• Enlivened experiences—a concert or movie can be recharging to an extrovert
• Sleep—extroverts need sleep as well, usually less than introverts
• Speaking—some extroverts thrive when they speak or share
• Reading—books that bring inspiration and are highly applicable
• Exercise—extroverts tend to like class-type exercise with a group of people rather than the isolated experience of running by themselves

When you are not recharged…it's almost impossible to be present with someone else.

Each of you could add others to the list, but this at least gets us started. And the method of recharge is not the issue; making sure you know how you need to recharge is. Do you know how you recharge? Or are you like most people and have simply gone along with the crowd, doing what everyone in your family or in society tells you that you should do? We will dive deeper in the next section to find out what works for you.

What Recharge Looks Like for You

Everyone is different. We are a mix of introverts and extroverts, pioneers and nurturers, thinkers and feelers, and so on. Like thumbprints, we are all unique in our personality hard wiring, and that means that we all recharge differently. The problem is that most of the articles on rest or recharging are generic, and when people try to apply the one-size-fits-all idea, there's no improvement. Here's how this plays out for Steve and me at home with our families:

Steve and I are extreme extroverts, while our wives are introverts, and our kids are a mix of both. We all recharge differently. Extroverts do not need as much time to themselves nor as much sleep, generally, as introverts do. Pioneers will spend hours with other idea creators who inspire them while nurturers will spend time with people they feel need their care. We are each wonderfully made and unique in our wiring, but you can well imagine the challenges and complications that arise in our own homes with all of us needing to recharge in different ways.

Knowing yourself well, and knowing those around you, then, is vital for effective recharging to take place. When you know yourself and what you need, then you can begin to lead yourself well, and the outcome is better connectivity in your relationships.

So what should 1st gear recharging look like for you? Here are some practical questions to help you know yourself better:

1. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
2. How much sleep do you need? Do you get that amount regularly?
3. What prevents you from getting enough sleep?
4. How far do you drive to work (if you do)?
5. How busy is your morning time?
6. Do you have young kids?
7. If you are an introvert, do you take any time in the middle of the day to recharge?
8. What does your drive home look like (if you have one)?
9. What do you do in the evening?
10. What is your normal bedtime routine?
11. Are you a disciplined person by nature?

To know yourself is to lead yourself. Can you begin to lead yourself to recharging and rest? Can you begin to create your own profile to know how you rest and recharge?

For instance, I (Jeremie) know that as an extrovert I need about six hours of sleep at night. Because I am in a season of writing, speaking, and connecting with our clients in the United States, I work mostly from my home office unless I am traveling. Without a long commute to work, and now that our teenagers drive themselves to school, I have reset my mornings to begin with some refreshing devotional time. Our family's early mornings are energetic and fun, and the quiet house after they leave gives me just the right amount of 1st gear time to make the rest of the day productive. I would, however, like to add in more exercise because, while I don't like to do it, I do feel better about myself afterwards, which is a type of recharge for me.

Because I am an extrovert, I have realized that I need time with people who bring me to life. Most of my time is helping other people around the world via video calls, which is inspiring to me, but I also need time face to face with friends like Lance Humphreys, Bond Payne, Matthew Myers, and Ryan Litz who challenge me to think bigger. Even more, I have realized that I need to have video calls with leaders from around the world to be able to test out ideas. My recharge, then, is a combination of introverted inspiration and extroverted ideas in fun, social environments, such as movies, themed parties, or double dates.

My wife, Kelly, on the other hand, is an introvert who enjoys exercise, reading, and time alone. We have worked hard over the years to learn how each other recharges to help that happen more often than not.

If I have too much introverted time on my own, for instance, I begin to feel drained, as if I am out of touch with people. Too much extroverted time with others and I feel like I am not disciplined and, thus, I feel out of control. Notice I used “feel” here. I know myself well enough to know that as a feeler I need to manage my feelings, as they are a key part to my leadership and the way I live.

Steve shares how he recharges and, as you will see, though we are both extroverts, our recharges are a bit different: “As someone who loves work and strategy, I have had to work hard to find activities that can override my brain's desire to keep solving complex problems and stay in 4th gear. For me, 1st gear is exercise: I enjoy the physical challenge as I get time to myself and I am able to process what I am thinking through fitness. Golf is another area of 1st gear, as I find that when I compete against myself in a beautiful setting, it motivates me. Movies also are a source of 1st gear recharge. I love the experience: I cry, I laugh, I think, I pray. A good film stays with me and I take the lessons or inspiration from it into my life. It reminds me of why I am doing what I do and refocuses my determination to be the best I can be.”

What about you? Can you commit to learning more about yourself? Will you work to know yourself and then lead yourself for your benefit and for those you lead? We have more resources in the back of this book to help you know yourself better, but it starts with a commitment to recharge and rest.

Rest as Your Secret Weapon

I have a friend who really knows how to use rest well. He starts his year by building rest into his calendar. He first blocks off one day each week for a rest day (normally Sundays). He then takes one day a month and blocks it off as a focused rest day, and then a weekend each quarter for intentional rest (some days overlap). On top of that, he and his wife schedule family vacations that are a mix of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd gears.

When I shared with him that I didn't think that his calendar approach was realistic for me (he is older, in a different season, and seemingly not as busy as I currently am), he grinned and said, “Jeremie, I have been doing this for over 10 years and, no offense, but I am probably as or more busy than you.” He wasn't being sarcastic, but rather challenging in a nice way. He was right. He prioritizes his rest and his life shows it.

My friend also notes that rest can give us a competitive advantage. Our 1st gear can become a secret weapon that provides greater clarity and focus that ultimately leads to better decision making and communication. When my friend shifts up into working gears after rest, he has laser-focused clarity about what he should do and should not do, and how he should communicate or handle certain situations. When you know how to rest to recharge, you will be able to handle pressure and restore the internal rhythm that is necessary to be able to operate from a position of strength. Working from your rest, not resting from your work, is the goal.

Does this knowledge feel like a game changer for you? It should. Reordering your world to build in time for rest will change the way you live, as long as your recharge is what you need, not what others say. You should live from who you really are. If you are an introvert, build in a rhythm of rest during the day—take a walk at lunch or go to your car for a moment of rest or recharge. If you are an extrovert, then create a portfolio of recharge options that include a mix of people and ideas and time alone. Learn to mix time and space and people to help you be the best that you can be.

Jessica Tingen from Toledo, Ohio, shares how she is beginning to understand what rest looks like. Does this sound like any of you?

I think the biggest realization for me from the 5 Gears was that what I thought was rest was not actually restful. I believed that all time away from my full-time job (in executive compensation) was rest time. When I was asked to order the amount of time I spent most to least in each of the 5 Gears, I actually had a hard time finding any time that I spent in 1st or 2nd gear. The time I spent, when I wasn't at work, was either spent with my kids (who of course I love, but let's be honest…time spent with a two- and four-year-old isn't necessarily restful!) or entertaining guests with my husband.

I'm an introvert, so time alone to recharge is imperative and, while I knew that, for some reason I'd thought that time with my husband and my kids was close enough to alone time to be considered restful. As I began to think about how I recharge, I had a hard time as I began to see that I wasn't truly resting. The 5 Gears required that I actually define what each of the gears would mean in my life specifically, and helped me to determine how I need to structure my week to ensure I had the proper amount of work and rest time built in.

I now have a “family 2nd gear” time and “alone 1st gear” built into our schedule. It also gave me a language to use with my husband as we planned our week, and for accountability as we have a tendency to slip into 3rd or even 4th gear during our 2nd gear time.

Why a Day of Recharge Is Smart

What if you took one day and designated it to be a complete recharge in the same way that you recharge your phone. One hundred percent is your goal. For me, Sunday is that day. It is the day our family has chosen to recharge with each other and personally. If there is a better day for you then by all means prioritize it.

Depending on the culture you are in, the Sabbath day, or day of rest, is usually a Saturday or a Sunday. Either way, a day of rest is strategic. You have heard that old adage that if you take the time to sharpen the axe then you will be more productive. Taking the time for rest is the key, but it must be the right rest for you.

My rest on Sundays has to do with my mind. I have tried to shift down and rest my mind on Sundays; therefore I don't send emails (most of the time) or take calls or work on my business on Sundays. Instead, I try hard to spend this time recharging my mind, since my work is actually in the creation of content and ideas. When I do this then I actually look forward to Monday. Ideas feel fresh because I rested appropriately.

Use Sunday as your day to sharpen the axe and refuel. It will also benefit the relationships in your life, and when Monday comes you will be more inspired and charged to do what it is you do.

Is Crashing Recharging?

Some of you are saying, “I rest a lot. I come home and binge on a TV series, lay on the couch, eat some food, and zone out.” Is that rest? A lot of you think it is because that is all we know.

It may look like rest, but crashing is simply stalling out. You work 60-plus hours per week handling all types of issues. You then come home and deal with the family, teenage issues, or a frustrated spouse. Your diet is full of heavy carbs and sugars and you recharge with coffee and more work. Then you get sick, take a couple of days off, and literally crash. Or you schedule your crash over the weekend and never get out of your comfortable clothes.

Crashing is not resting; it is actually just crashing.

For some of you, I just painted what, on the surface, looks like a brilliant picture of rest. In reality, this is a horrible way to live. True rest allows you to come fully alive. Following the battery-recharging kind of rest, you smell the roses, notice the birds, feel the air, and enjoy your relationships. True, healthy rest restores you so you can continue being the best you. When you crash, as in the dismal scenario above, the fog never really lifts.

Here's another way to look at this idea: Have you noticed that when you allow your phone to lose all power that it takes quite a while for it to fully charge and function well again? The same is true for you and me. When we crash hard, we reach a place where we have completely depleted our resources. Rebounding from that sabotage takes longer than if we recharge more regularly. Proactive rest is the answer.

You have heard the statement before, “Work hard, play hard.” People who use that a lot have basically been rationalizing their workaholism by scheduling an amazing vacation to reward all of those who have had to put up with them throughout the year. It is a “feast or famine” approach laced with inconsistencies.

Crashing is not resting; it is actually just crashing. Crashes cause pain, create drama, and cost money. It also causes everyone else in your world to change their patterns of living to deal with helping you pick up the pieces. What if, instead, we focused on consistent recharging that would allow us to be present with those around us?

How Leaders Can Schedule Rest

For me, I live by my calendar. Whatever is on it, I do. For some of you that is not the case. However, I would encourage anyone who has a tight schedule to start with rest. Book it. Schedule your rest day; whatever day is the best for you. Then look at your month or quarter and build some rest into your calendar.

Plan also to schedule 1st gear time into your day. When will you do 1st gear in the mornings? Do you need to downshift over lunch? What does it look like in the evening? How much sleep will you get? Asking and answering these questions is how you win long term. Building in rest makes you more productive in the everyday work of life.

Read how Nataliya Moshkovskaya viewed first gear while growing up in the Ukraine.

When I grew up, I was taught, “rest is a change of activities.” If you were doing your homework for a while, cleaning the floor would be a restful occupation. If you were working in the office all day, coming to a “dacha” to dig potatoes was considered a recreation. And we did have a good time when we were doing hard physical labor together as a family.

However, our life was basically the moving from one activity to another. I can see the historical pattern in retrospection, and I know that for most of my adult life I have been doing the same thing without giving it another thought. Did I learn how to really rest? It was not even a question in my mind—I was resting all the time by changing different types of activities.

My personality probably did not help either, as I am a thinker. My sister would say, “You need to learn how to rest,” but I never took it as important advice.

It was not until I learned about the 5 Gears that I finally took it seriously, because it touched my consciousness. I was horrified, not so much about the fact that I did not know how 1st gear worked or did not know how to rest, but mostly because I did not let anyone else in the close circle of my care enjoy their lives either. Here is an example: A couple of days a week I get up at 5 A.M. to go to a gym to exercise. Because I tend to have my entire day, sometimes years planned ahead, I come back from exercising at 6:30 A.M. to my house, where everyone is barely awake and I start executing my plans. I tend to get upset that they are not in the same gear as I am. My family wanted to please me, so they would respond, but it was stressful and exhausting for them.

After learning about 5 Gears and seeing from the outside how my behavior affected my family and our relationships, I had to learn and am still learning to rest and be present with the most treasured people in my life without an agenda. I am enjoying the changes and, as strange as it sounds, we are better friends now.

My dear husband, even after I have learned 5 Gears and started implementing them, would, before joining me for a cup of morning tea, ask me, “Do I need to be alert or can I just be?” I choose the last one—just be!

So, how would I change the definition of rest now? “Rest is when you enjoy people around you without an agenda and let both them and yourself just be.”

What a great definition of rest! By implementing the 5 Gears Nataliya was able to review her past, make some changes, and affect her future with herself and those around her. What changes are in front of you?

Is 1st Gear Worth It?

So is 1st gear worth it? To know the answer, we must first ask what life looks like without 1st gear?

• Waking up in 4th gear to emails
• Being consumed by the tasks of the day, all day and all night
• Going into 5th gear mode for most of the day, while missing out on most of the interaction with others
• Coming home in 4th gear and remaining there until bedtime
• Missing interactions, relationships, and, most importantly, rest
• Eventually crashing because of the pace of work and life in 4th gear

We can only present the facts as we have experienced and discovered them. We believe that adding the proper recharge patterns into your life restores the appropriate balance in a hectic life, not to mention providing physical health and peace in a leader's life. You have to decide for yourself if you are convinced. Hear what Amy Norton, a GiANT senior associate in Nashville, says to makes her case of why 1st gear is important:

As an introvert and a nurturer, my big a-ha with 5 Gears has been the realization that it is mission-critical to have time in 1st gear. Discovering how my personality and leadership voice dovetail with 5 Gears has transformed how I structure my rest time each day. Given my tendency to take care of other's needs before my own, I'm learning to find time to be in first gear each day. When I make it a priority to downshift and go for that walk, pick up the novel my book club is reading, and generally take time to take care of me, everyone in all of my circles of influence—from my family to my friends to my colleagues at work—benefit. Skipping first gear, believe it or not, is actually counterproductive for me.

People miss opportunities for relationships when they skip being recharged.

If you want to become a leader worth following, then rest and recharging should be a daily and weekly priority, not a one-time occasion. Remember these points as you reflect on your own needs for rest:

• Leaders undermine their influence when they skip 1st gear
• People miss opportunities for relationships when they skip being recharged
• Health takes a hit when 1st gear is abused
• A dull axe is more draining and doesn't produce as much as if it were sharpened
• To be a leader worth following, you need to demonstrate rest well

Are you tired, weary, worn out, beaten down? It is time to learn how to rest. When you do, you will see the benefits and so will those who live and work with you.

Warning Signs: You know you have an unhealthy 1st gear if…

• Escapism from reality is your norm.
• Too much time is devoted to 1st gear and not connecting with others.
• You overfocus on exercise and diet.
• You get lost in a new book or new idea most of the week.
• Your personal recharge dictates everyone else's schedule.
• Your recharge time dominates the family agenda.
• Using work and studying as an excuse to avoid people.
• You binge on a TV series or computer gaming as a way to escape.
• You rely on a very small number of relationships without connecting to the broader world.

How Do You Get Healthy?

• Know your wiring and what healthy recharge looks like for you.
• Trade up your time to the most healthy activity as it relates to both relationship and your recharge.
• Put healthy boundaries around your recharge time.
• Invite others to exercise with you occasionally.
• Practice 3rd gear by widening your network of relationships.
• Learn how to expend your energy wisely—don't fear getting tired.
• Learn to value how other people recharge—avoid being selfish!

Key Question: How does my need and preference for personal recharge impact the lives of those around me?

The 1st Gear Challenge

Ask someone you trust to appropriately schedule your recharge with and for you.